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What if Bob Was One Of Us
(To the tune of Joan Osbourne's What If God Was One Of Us)
Lyrics by Dave Ferry
The premise here is that there is this guy named Bob who always
enters the contest but never wins. This is his story.
On Sunday morning....anticipating.
Flipping through the Post...investigating.
He's looking for his name in the Style section.
If he doesn't win this time, he'll never fit in.
Hey, hey Bob is bummed.
Hey, hey Bob can't win.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
What if Bob was one of us?
Just a slob like one us us.
Just a loser on this bus.
Tried to win some moose poop.
If Bob had a plan, what would it be?
He would want to go to brunch with you and me.
He's tried every week. He's not a sissy.
Dreaming to be chosen for Loser Rotisserie.
And hey, hey, Bob is bummed.
Hey, hey, Bob can't win.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
What if Bob was one of us?
Just a slob like one of us.
Just a loser on this bus.
Tried to win some moose poop.
Lives in a great big chicken coup.
Dressed up like cartoon Betty Boop.
Plays with his brand new Hula Hoop.
Eats Campbell's creamy mushroom soup.
Wants to be more like me and you(p).
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