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Sympathy for the Printer's Devil
(To the tune of Sympathy for the Devil by the Glimmer Twins)
Lyrics by Dave Zarrow
Please allow me to introduce myself,
I'm a man of wit but little taste.
Educated at the finest schools,
All my folks can say is, "What a waste."
I was around since the first week,
When the Redskins' name was scheduled for an edit,
I sent the same entry as the winner did,
But I didn't receive any credit.
Pleased to meet you and I,
Hope you READ my name,
Oh, yeah,
But what's puzzling you is the,
Nature of my fame.
Two hundred thirty-seven weeks gone by,
And every time it's just the same,
You know the Czar can be so sinister,
Seems like every week I scream in pain
I wrote a prank, held the 14th rank,
But I have to say, this week's contest stank.
Pleased to meet you and I,
Hope you READ my name,
Oh, yeah,
But what's puzzling you is the,
Nature of my fame.
[F2 Backup Singers begin here:]
F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...
We joke of Prince and the Prince of Wales,
Elvis, OJ, Nixon, Dan & Marilyn Quayle,
There's nothing sacred about sex or poop,
'cause we're shootin for that Style Section scoop,
F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...
Buttafuocco, Pee-wee and Kevorkian,
Marv's panties and Chuck's colostomy bags.
Seems like the only things that's off-limits are,
The Washington Times, Chappaquiddick and fags.
F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...
Pleased to meet you and I,
Hope you READ my name,
Oh, yeah,
But what's confusing you is the,
Nature of my fame, oh yeah.
F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...
Get down, Baby!
(Protracted Instru-MENTAL break)
Pleased to meet you and I,
Hope you READ my name,
Oh, yeah,
But what's puzzling you is the,
Nature of my fame, oh yeah.
F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...
Just like each of you is a comedian,
And all your jokes a riot,
It's what I became a singin' Loser fer,
Think it's easy? Why don't YOU try it!
F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...
Let me please introduce myself,
I'm a man of wit but little taste.
For a Sound Bite of our best entries,
Dial 234-9000 for Post Haste.
F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...F-2...
Pleased to meet you and I,
Hope you READ my name,
Oh, yeah,
But what's puzzling you is the,
Nature of my fame, oh yeah.
Get VERY down!!
(Dave and Greg start to jam. The backup singers soon lose interest and
leave, disgusted. Eventually Greg leaves, too.)
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