(To the tune of Gloria Gaynor's I Will Survive)
Lyrics by Jesse Frankovich
At first I was geared up, I was full of hope.
Kept thinking I would find a joke that made me chuckle"¦. nope.
And then I spent so many hours readin' dreck worth no reward,
And I grew bored ... my eyes rolled back and then I snored!
There's so much trash! What a disgrace!
These feeble gags have left me here with this sad look upon my face.
I should reject this stupid schlock, I should dismiss this dull debris;
If I used this crap how blah the Invitational would be!
Go on now, go, please take a hike,
Just understand now, that your stuff I didn't like.
Weren't you the one who tried to bribe me with a pie?
Did you think I'd print yours? Did you think I'd find your rubbish wry?
Oh no, not I, I will deprive!
Oh, as long as I'm around to judge, this junk will still arrive.
I've got all my life to live, but I've got finite ink to give,
And I'll deprive, I will deprive!