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Hotel Where The Brunch Is
(To the tune of Hotel California by The Eagles)
Lyrics by Dave Ferry
Performed at Loserfest 99(tm) by the Dueling Losers Band
On an old D.C. highway, near Woodley Park Square
Warm smell from the zoo there; wafting right through the air
Up ahead at the corner, you turn left at the light
My car went swerving and my stomach growled. I hadn't eaten last night.
Losers near the doorway. I heard the breakfast bell.
And I was thinking to myself, "that could be raw eggs that's making that smell".
The hostess came to the doorway and she showed us the way.
There was laughter down the corridor. And I heard her say.
Welcome to the hotel where the brunch is.
Such a lovely place ... with a fireplace.
We're in the back room at the hotel where the brunch is.
You can join us here. Just park in the rear.
Our minds are deranged and twisted. We look forward to weekends.
We got a lot of wacky great ideas but that all depends.
You can send in the good ones and then try not to fret.
We'll all get to read them soon, up on Losernet.
So I sent in an entry 'bout flatulent bovines.
I haven't won a [insert expletive here] point since Week One Sixty-Nine.
And still the voices I hear in my head at night.
Wake me up in the middle of my sleep ... I grab a pen and write.
Welcome to the hotel where the brunch is.
Such a lovely place ... with a fireplace.
We're in the back room at the hotel where the brunch is.
You can join us here. Dudzik got the EAR.
Coffee in the morning and pink grapefruit on ice.
We are all just humorists here. And we're very nice.
Here we are at restaurant where we gathered for our feast.
They use Bisquick in their waffles here cause they just don't have the
yeast.
Last thing I remember I was heading for the door.
I had an all-you-can-eat buffet and I could not eat no more.
"Good night", said Dave Zarrow, "don't forget my pet peeve".
You can walk out anytime you like but please pay before you leave.
Welcome to the hotel where the brunch is.
Such a lovely place ... with a fireplace.
We're in the back room at the hotel where the brunch is.
You can join us here. Now I'm out of here.
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