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Crapseys and Anagrams
(To the tune of Fire and Rain by James Taylor)
Lyrics by Elden Carnahan
Just yesterday morning, I found out I hadn't won,
Seems that the jokes I wrote weren't good enough.
I woke up this morning and I wrote down this song,
I'll just send it in with the other stuff
[Chorus]
I've done Crapseys and anagrams,
I've done parodies that I thought would never scan,
I've made fun of Princess Di and Uncle Ben,
But I always thought that I'd see ink again.
Won't you take pity on me, Gino, you've got to help me make a stand,
It's the last Monday of the current Week.
My brain's exhausted and the deadline's at hand,
I'm scribbling haikus like some kinda freak.
[Chorus]
I've done captions and Rorschachs, too,
I've done all the Weeks that you called "The Joke's On You",
I've seen other Weeks when I could not buy a clue,
But I always thought that I'd be on F2.
Now I'm searching my mind for a clever rhyme,
Before it all turns to slop.
Czar knows if my entry blows he'll put it on the spike.
There'll be hours of time on the LoserNet line to whine about jokes that flopped
Wet dreams, karaoke machines, and "What Does God Look Like?"
[Chorus]
Oh, I've done Crapseys and anagrams,
I've begged for shirts and for Joe's old underpants,
I've made funny laws from the names of Congressmen,
But I always thought that I'd see ink again
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