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After the Czar Bailed
(To the tune of Jackson Browne's The Deluge)
(Written for the Czar Party but rejected by the band's lead singer on the grounds that the 3 months' advance notice he was given was not enough time for him to prepare. Sigh. If you need me, I'll be over there crying.)
lyrics by Sandra Hull
Some of them were slackers
And some of them were geeks
Who were writing jokes and hoping to hit pay dirt
With the mania of the OCD
They kept entering each week
With the hope to win a pen or Loser t-shirt
They spent years under a Czarist rule
And their hands reached for the gopher drool
With their hearts they mourned bumper stickers won but unmailed
In the troubled years that came before the Czar bailed
Some of them got much ink
And some of them got none
And for some of them it was only the Czar chat that mattered
Though they were brash and crazy and uncouth
They were trying in vain to have fun
And their t-shirts, once so fine, grew torn and tattered
And in the end they traded inspired zings
For the deep frustration that no ink brings
They exchanged their gripes on Losernet
They waxed bitter and they wailed
And for a decade they were crushed before the Czar bailed
Now let Grace Fuller list our rankings high
And let the Empress keep our humor dry
Abdication's won us our freedom, say goodbye
Bye, bye, bye
Now the Czar who once enslaved us is just some guy
Some of them were cheesed off
At the way that they were abused
By the man who taught them to forge their bons mots into poop gags
And they struggled to beguile him with them
Only to be refused
By the fickleness of Weingarten (that old gassy windbag)
But when the news was out that the Czar stepped down
They danced naked down over in Losertown
And in attempts to celebrate a thing so joyful their sense failed
Believed that they would get more ink after the Czar bailed
Now let Grace Fuller list our rankings high
And let the Empress keep our humor dry
Abdication's won us our freedom, say goodbye
Bye, bye, bye
Now the Czar who once enslaved us is just some guy
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