The Invitational Week 175: Questionable Journalism
In which we invite you to give a funnier meaning to a sentence from the news. Plus pun-filled ‘sister cities,’ Down Under edition.
Pat Myers and gene weingarten
May 07, 2026


This town in Australia inspired one of today’s inking “joint ventures” with another place name Down Under. See today’s Invitational results below.
Hello.

The following quote appeared in The Washington Post yesterday:
“Well, you’ll find out because I’ll let you know.”
That quote was not in answer to this question:
“What did Donald Trump say when he was asked, 'What is the meaning of truth?’ ”

In brief, that’s your new contest, which we’ll tell you about down under — down under this:

Great Barrier Riffs: ‘Joint ventures’ Down Under from Week 173
In Invitational Week 173, as part of our years-long world tour to promote world peace and prosperity and painful puns, we took our “sister cities” contest to Australia and Oceania. We asked you to find any two or more towns in the region — famed for its comical place names — and combine them to suggest a “joint venture” they could undertake. (You might not be shocked that we were pretty flexible on what counted as such a pursuit.) So each of the names strung together below — even U, a village on the Micronesian island of Pohnpei — appears on Google Maps; for example, “Yuwil-Walkaway-Ungarie” comprises towns from Papua New Guinea, Australia, and Australia. (We used this list of 28 countries and territories to work from.) Also not so shockingly, relatively few people committed the time and effort to search through all those maps — but some of them really went to town. So to speak.

Third runner-up:
Addington-Tu-Rere Butt Enhancement Surgery Center (Judy Freed, Philadelphia)

Second runner-up:
The Yuwil-Walkaway-Ungarie Parsley Festival (Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park, Md.)

First runner-up:
The Maia-Southend-Notu-Fein Hemorrhoid Sufferer Support Group (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.)

And the winner of the tea candle that depicts characters from famous paintings losing their clothes as the candle burns:
The Graball-Deme-Byee-Dee-Pussy Cat Hill-Winya-Star-Dale-La-Tiua-Dewitt Southern Hemisphere Shrine to Donald J. Trump (Frank Osen, Pasadena, Calif,)

Below the Equator: Honorable mentions
The Alderley-Grampus-Iron Knob-Dutton-Wurruk Urinary Clinic (Frank Osen)

The Hellyer-Dareel-Orange-Athol Trump Impersonators’ Club (Jonathan Jensen, Baltimore)

The Beken-Kol Obsequious Secretarial Service (Judy Freed)

The Bigga-Para Hills Breast Enhancement Clinic (Jesse Frankovich, Laingsburg, Mich.)

The Binnaway-Tu-Long Campaign for Sentencing Reform (Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase, Md.)

The Hei Hei-Manly-Young-Guy Fawkes-Goode Gigolo Service (Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.)

The Kanpi-Nowhere Else-But-Homa Restroom Anxiety Support Group (Stu Segal, Southeast U.S.)

Bland-Ando-Verdun Hospital Menu Taste Testers (Judy Freed)

The Dona-Ita-Kalu-Mari Squid Preservation Society (Judy Freed)

The Ai-Dara-U Jackass Tournament (Gary Crockett)

Euabalong-Innamincka Furriers (Jonathan Jensen)

Iluka-Terrabella Personal Makeovers for Italians (Jonathan Jensen)

The Styx-Anda-Stones Corner Sidewalk Orthopedic Clinic (Kevin Dopart, Naxos, Greece)

Mount George-Mount Helen-Mount Ida-Mount Mitchell Bi-Friendly Sex Parties (Judy Freed)

The Mywee-Burnewang Venereal Disease Clinic (Jesse Frankovich)

The Hem-Hawor-Um Center for Hesitating Ditherers (Randy Lee, Burke, Va.)

The Seve-Ajana gender screening system for public bathrooms (Judy Freed)

The Benna-Long-Hall Rest Stop (Gary Crockett)

The Burnie-Ayr-Rheola Scratchy Shirt Store (Jesse Frankovich)

The Crackenback-Clearview Professional Association of Plumbers (Jesse Frankovich)

The Gowan-Gowang-Gonn Power Hitters Club (Jesse Frankovich)

The Greta-Gar-Bo Isolation Chamber (Gary Crockett)

The Hao-Cooma-Madang-Cockburn STD clinic (Brian Cohen, Winston-Salem, N.C.)

The Jackass Flat-Taree Institute for Presidential Praise (Jesse Frankovich)

The Ulong-Fore-Matong Oral Sex Addiction Rehab Facility (Kevin Dopart)

The Bendigo-Verran-Puke Beer Festival (Jon Ketzner, Cumberland, Md.)

The Yukan-Benmore Yoga Studio (Judy Freed)

The Ure-Mama-So Comedy Festival (Eric Nelkin, Silver Spring, Md.)

And Last: The Lottah-Punsand-Para-Dee Invitational Archives (Jesse Frankovich)

The headline “Great Barrier Riffs” is by Jesse Frankovich; Kevin Dopart wrote the honorable-mentions subhead.

New contest for Week 175: Questionable Journalism
Because we feel passionately that our society continually fails to take the time it should to willfully misinterpret news reports, we once again present this contest, which incorporates both the A&Q format of our Ask Backwards contest and the take-it-out-of-context fun of our Mess With Our Heads perennial.

For Invitational Week 175: Choose any sentence (or the major part of a sentence) from any publication (online or on paper) dated May 7-16, 2026, and follow it with a question it could comically answer, as in these inking examples from last year’s results:

Real sentence from the L.A. Times: Lance Smith, 74, stands off to the side of the bowl, a Coors Light in one hand, a Nikon camera in the other.
Q. How does the House of Representatives enforce its anti-trans bathroom ban? (Frank Osen)

A. “I may have pushed it just a tiny bit.”
Q. If he could talk, what might your cat say about the shattered wine glass on the kitchen floor? (Chris Doyle)

A. Maybe lunch.
Q. What’s there to lose by watching “Dr. Pimple Popper”? (Chris Doyle)

The sentence may be from an article or ad. New for 2026: You may use a headline if it reads like a sentence, i.e., it doesn’t omit articles, verbs, etc. Tell us the name and date of the publication the sentence comes from; if it’s online, include a link to the webpage.

IMPORTANT FORMATTING DIRECTIONS! Even though we’ll be printing the A’s and Q’s in two lines as above, please DO NOT break your entry into two or more lines; i.e., don’t push Enter until the end of each entry. Just write the “answer” followed by the question, and even the URL of the webpage, all on one line.

Then hit Enter and a space or two before your next entry. Otherwise, they’re going to break in half and they absolutely will not be very funny that way.

Deadline is Saturday, May 16, 2026, at 9 p.m. ET. Results will run here in The Gene Pool on Thursday, May 21. As usual, you may submit up to 25 entries for this week’s contest, preferably all on the same form.

Click here for this week’s entry form, or go to tinyurl.com/inv-form-175.

This week’s winner gets this useful bumper sticker, one of which adorns the Empress’s own vehicle. It’s allegedly peel-off, but if you don’t want to risk messing up your car, just use your own phone booth.

Runners-up get autographed fake money featuring the Czar or Empress, in one of eight nifty designs. Honorable mentions get bupkis, except for a personal email from the E, plus the Fir Stink for First Ink for First Offenders.

Still running — deadline Saturday, May 9, at 9 p.m. ET: It’s our annual “grandfoals” spinoff of our horse name “breeding” contest. Click on “read full story” below for details.

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Title: (Jesse Frankovich)
Subhead: (Kevin Dopart)
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