The Invitational Week 172: Just Try to Foal Us Again
Time for the year's most popular contest — horse name 'breeding.' Plus Ask Backwards winners.
Pat Myers and Gene Weingarten
Apr 16, 2026



Yeah, you got it. This is a horse mating.

Hello. Sure, we’ve got a horse’s ass in the White House, but its reproductive organs are right here, where they belong. We’ll get to their mating in due (race)course, but first:

Q-Inane: Ask Backwards winners from Week 170
In Invitational Week 170, we once again supplied a list of “answers” and asked for the questions. Too many people to credit offered various takes on “batshit” for “The Night of the Guano,” and, alas, four people declared that the Battle of Bull Shit is known in Southern states as the the Battle of First Man-Asses.

Third runner-up:
A. X Marks the Spot.
Q. Where did truth go to die? (Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase, Md.)

Second runner-up:
A. Other Than a Cat, No One.
Q. Who do we like who is orange and stupid? (Gregory Koch, Falls Church, Va.)

First runner-up:
A. That’s What Xi Said.
Q. What is 你能相信这有多难吗? (Jesse Frankovich, Laingsburg, Mich.)

And the winner of the trompe l’oeil car headrest covers:
A. Other Than a Cat, No One.
Q. Once you’re of a certain age, who will still sit on your face? (Frank Osen, Pasadena, Calif.)

You Q’s, You Lose: Honorable mentions
A. A Better Motto for the New, Streamlined Washington Post.
Q. What is “Darkness”? (Neal Roach, Indianapolis, a First Offender)

What is “We Sell Out Every Day”? (Neil Kurland, Elkridge, Md.)

What is “Formerly The Washington Post”? (Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park, Md.)

What is “Free Markets Dance in Darkness”? (Jeff Hazle, San Antonio)

A Bacon, Lettuce, and NATO Sandwich.
Q. In addition to crow, what did the New York Times copy editor responsible for the “North American Treaty Organization” headline eat? (Chris Doyle, Warminster, Pa.)

Which food pairs poorly with Russian dressing? (Jesse Rifkin, Arlington, Va.; Jonathan Jensen, Baltimore; Mike Gips, Bethesda, Md.)

What is a bacon, lettuce, Nutella, anchovy, tomato, and onion sandwich called? (Barbara Turner, Takoma Park, Md.)

What is less substantial than a Nuclear Club? (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)

Rambo and Juliet.
Q. What play contains this line: “What fight through yonder window breaks? It is the beast, and Juliet has the gun.” (Lori Wike, Utah, a First Offender)

Which play consists entirely of the stage direction “They fight”? (Jesse Rifkin)

In what movie does everyone get killed but the male protagonist? (Kevin Dopart, Naxos, Greece)

Can you name two people who could flatten Stephen Miller in hand-to-hand combat? (Pam Shermeyer, Lathrup Village, Mich.)

Which play was followed by “Twelfth Fight” and “The Maiming of the Shrew”? (Jesse Rifkin)

It was found in Kash Patel’s Email.
Q. What is a surveillance report on everyone who entered The Invitational’s Week 1281 contest? (Frank Osen)

One Bottle After Another.
Q. What will you find in the White House ketchup cellar? (Jesse Frankovich)

What film was the sequel to “There Will Be Blood Alcohol Content”?” (Jesse Rifkin)

Other Than a Cat, No One.
Q. Who would refuse to rescue Timmy from the well? (Maja Keech, Bowie, Md.)

If there is a cat in the house, is there anyone who doesn’t get clawed or have to clean up puke? (Dan Helming, Conshohocken, Pa.)

At a biker bar, who do you call a pussy? (Jon Ketzner, Cumberland, Md.)

That’s What Xi Said.
Q. What line got the lead actor executed on the Chinese version of “The Office”? (Mike Gips)

What compendium just outsold the Little Red Book? (Seth Tucker, Washington, D.C.)

The Battle of Bull Shit.
Q. Where were Union forces commanded by Ulysses S. Grunt? (Frank Osen)

What conflict inspired the game “Call of Doody”? (Diana Oertel, San Francisco)

What is also known as World War Number Two? (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village, Md.)

The Night of the Guano.
Q. What play was written by the author of “Scat on a Hot Tin Roof”? (Chris Doyle)

What is the sequel to “Three Days of the Condor”? (Kevin Dopart)

What play originally starred Victor Manure and Irene Dung? (Frank Osen)

Trump’s finest hour.
Q. Of all the finest hours in the long and very beautiful history of finest hours, whose finest hour was the finest? (Jesse Frankovich)

What occurred in utero? (Gary Crockett)

Just a typo.
Q. Speaker Johnson, what is the “well regulated Militia” part of the Second Amendment? (Jonathan Paul)

Honey, can you explain this “I am going to murder my spouse for the insurance money and run off with you” text message? (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.)

It can be found only in Istanbul and RFK Jr.’s house.
Q. Where can I get some camel tallow? (Tom Witte)

What is said about a gigantic underground cistern meant to protect water for precious bodily fluids? (Jeff Contompasis)

What is the site of a chilling bone-saw dismemberment? (Frank Osen)

Wynken, Blynken, and God.
Q, What law firm wins at least a third of its cases? (Jeff Contompasis)

The headline “Q-Inane” is by William Kennard; Jesse Frankovich wrote the honorable-mentions subhead.

New for Week 172: Pun for the Roses — our horse name ‘breeding’ contest
We’re bugling up to the the starting gate of the 33rd running of this ridiculous event.

Chess Match x The Big Con = Rooked
Get Them Roses x Big Cuddle = Get Them Pregnant
Peace On Earth x Obliteration = Whatever
For Invitational Week 172: At this link is a list of 100 of the hundreds of 3-year-old racehorses nominated for the 2026 Triple Crown races: the Kentucky Derby, Preakness Stakes, and Belmont Stakes. “Breed” any two names on that list and name the “foal” to humorously play off both parents’ names, as in the examples above. (Yes, we know they’re almost all male. Fortunately we’re just breeding their names.) You may submit as many as 25 pairings.

On the same link above, beneath the list of names, are the inking entries from last year’s contest. You’ll get a good idea of what we’re looking for.

Note these Hard ’n’ Fast Rules!
— As in thoroughbred racing, a name may not exceed 18 characters including spaces, but those characters may include punctuation and numerals. You may run words together to save space, but we strongly favor names that are easy to read (capitalizing the individual words helps).

— Please write each entry in the A x B = C format of the examples above so we can sort the thousands of entries by horse-parent name. Just like this:
Newton x Lighter = Defying Gravity
NOTE: If you have several entries using the same horse, each entry has to be full, like the one above.

Deadline is Saturday, April 25, 2026, at 9 p.m. ET. Results will run here in The Gene Pool on Thursday, April 30, two days before Derby Day.

Click here for this week’s entry form, or go to tinyURL.com/inv-form-172. As usual, you may submit up to 25 entries for this week’s contest, preferably all on the same form.

When we run the results two weeks from now, we’ll have our annual spinoff contest, to breed any two of the winning names to name a “grandfoal.” (So if you’re not a yearly Gene Pool subscriber, STILL a measly $5 for a one-month subscription will let you enter the foal and grandfoal contests, along with the almost daily riches of Gene’s oeuvre, plus get all the other Pool noodles.)

So push this button already!

The winner gets these semi-trompe-l’oeil socks that are in no way aiming to caricature Kash Patel.

Runners-up get autographed fake money featuring the Czar or Empress, in one of eight nifty designs. Honorable mentions get bupkis, except for a personal email from the E, plus the Fir Stink for First Ink for First Offenders.

InvisibleInk!
Idea: ()
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Judging: ()
Title: (William Kennard)
Subhead: (Jesse Frankovich)
Prize: ()
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