The Invitational Week 157: Dead Letters
Our annual obit-poem contest. Plus fresh ink from 18 recent Invites.
Pat Myers and Gene Weingarten
Jan 01, 2026

A Tolkiensque idea for the White House Christmas Tree, from The Invitational’s Week 141 Ask Backwards contest. See this week’s results below.
Congratulations on making it through the year alive. Today’s contest is to celebrate — charitably or not — those who didn’t.

James Lovell, Apollo 13 astronaut (1928-2025)
When we speak in public, our confidence shatters
And words — well, sometimes we bobble ’em.
Jim Lovell elected to understate matters,
Drawling, “Houston, we’ve had a probble-em.”

For Invitational Week 157: Write a witty poem about someone who died in 2025, like Gene’s example above. Here’s Reuters’ “Notable Deaths of 2025,” the biggest names; a broader selection from the New York Times; and yet even more from Wikipedia (including “Ants Soots, Estonian conductor”); but feel free to do your own research. Just make sure that the person you’re writing about actually died in 2025; one year we almost ran an obit poem of a very much alive executive. To see what we we’re looking for in an obit poem, see last year’s inking entries.

Entry deadline is Saturday, Jan. 10, 2026, at 9 p.m. ET. Results will run here in The Gene Pool on Thursday, Jan. 15. As usual, you may submit up to 25 entries for this week’s contest, preferably all on the same form.

Formatting this week: Just write your poems as you’d like to see them published; if the person’s name isn’t within the poem, make sure you mention it in a title.

Click here for this week’s entry form or go to tinyURL.com/inv-form-157.

This week’s winner receives our annual award of the wall calendar “Dogs Pooping in Beautiful Places,” complete with actual 2026 calendar grids!


Miss (or perhaps Mr.) November in this week’s prize calendar.
Deux-Overs: Our 2025 retrospective, Part 2
Last week’s results showcased fresh ink from twenty-one of our contests from the first half of 2025. Now we bring you the best of our do-overs of the past six months, from Invitational Week 155.

Third runner-up:
From Week 131: “Yo Mama” (or Yo other relative) jokes told as haiku
Yo gramps so senile
He done totally forgot
Yo grandma’s ugly (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village, Md.)

Second runner-up:
From Week 137: Combine halves of two hyphenated words from recent articles into a new word
Master-piece + sur-face: Master-Face: White skin, blue eyes, and blond hair. — S. Miller, Washington (Chris Doyle, Warminster, Pa.)

First runner-up:
From Week 141: We give the answers, you give the questions
A. Karoline Leavitt’s lectern.
Q. Where can you see someone standing and lying at the same time? (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.)

And the winner of the headband with snail eyes popping out:
From Week 150: Write something with only nine adjacent letters on the keyboard (AWSERTYHN)
The new year enters — a saner era nears!
Hearts thaw! Wars wane!
[Yeah, Ha.]
(Jonathan Jensen, Baltimore)

Second Half Wits: Honorable mentions
Week 130, say how any two items from the list we supplied are the same or different:
Print newspapers and a Tesla: Good things for birds to shit on. (Jesse Frankovich, Laingsburg, Mich.)

Print newspapers: Crosswords for those who stay home on Sunday.
The Almighty: Cross words for those who stay home on Sunday. (Jesse Frankovich)

Week 131: Yo Mama (or Yo others) jokes as haiku:
Yo Mama so dumb
and fat, when she plays Wordle
She starts with PIZZA. (Jesse Frankovich)




Week 132: Photo captions:
The Washington Nationals hold auditions to add Justice Felix Frankfurter to its “Racing Presidents.” (Jesse Rifkin, Arlington, Va.)

If these were Hebrew National hot dogs, they’d be running from right to left. (Jesse Rifkin)

Week 134: What will NPR and PBS do to try to get their federal funding back?
”Weight Weight . . . Don’t Tell Me!” A weekly program updating listeners on the president’s excellent health. (Rob Cohen, Potomac, Md.)

Barney and Friends are turned into beautiful, clean coal. (Art Grinath, Takoma Park, Md.)

“Finding Your Roots” traces Trump’s ancestry to a remarkable number of famous figures, including Vlad the Impaler, Torquemada, and Attila the Hun. (Pam Shermeyer, Lathrup Village, Mich.)

“Washington Weak”: This documentary looks at our first President and his feckless actions, like refusing to be called “Your Highness” and deciding to leave office. (Terri Berg Smith, Rockville, Md.)

Week 135: Choose an actual news headline and reinterpret it with a “bank head”:
Real headline: 7 things experts say you should unplug after every use
Bank head: Anal play toys top the list
(Judy Freed, Philadelphia)

Education Dept. to examine Brown safety procedures
‘Brown students shouldn’t be any safer than White ones,’ complains Secy. McMahon
(Steve Honley, Washington, D.C.)

My sister said it looks like Santa threw up on my mantel. How best to respond?
How about ‘He must have eaten your cookies’?
(Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.)

To save NYC’s flooding subway, officials attack its many leaks
Crackdown vowed on urinating in stations
(Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)

The Rockettes have worn some wild, memorable costumes over 100 years
So that’s why they smell so bad!
(Duncan Stevens)

Ukrainians face exhaustion and uncertainty as Trump demands concessions
No peace until stadiums, theaters sell Trump-branded tote bags, flip-flops, koozies, President vows (Pam Shermeyer)

Week 136: Limericks featuring a word beginning with the letter I:
Donald wanted Letitia James’ head.
Mortgage fraud was her crime (so they said).
Though indictment they tried
It was two times denied —
Better luck charging ham in sliced bread?
(Michael Stein, Arlington, Va.)

When you take to the sea, how I wish mail
Would arrive — even smelling-like-fish mail!
But you’re off on the trail
Of some silly white whale —
When you get to a port, call me, Ishmael. (Duncan Stevens)

Week 137: Combine halves of two hyphenated words from recent articles into a new word:
Neo-nazism + satel-lite: Nazism-lite: Project 2025. (Kevin Dopart, Washington, D.C.)

Carrot-and-stick + on-again-off-again: Carrot-on-again: The president’s morning makeup routine. (Jesse Frankovich)

Goo-gle + in-flation: Goo-flation: The disturbing trend of supermarket pies containing less fruit and more filler between the crusts. (Pam Shermeyer)

Week 138, “Narayana’s Cows” poems, with particular word or syllable counts:
The
White
House
needs some
fixing up!
The outside looks
really boring and old;
Hey, what if I paint the whole thing gold?
(Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.)

All
my
life
I’ve felt
Outdated.
An old model
That is looking shoddy.
I’ve decided to be cremated
’Cause that’s my last chance to have a smoking hot body!
(Jon Gearhart, Des Moines)

Week 139: Obits for fictional characters
Alexander Portnoy died of a stroke when his severe carpal tunnel syndrome prevented him from dialing 911. (Tom Witte)

Mrs. Ado Annie died at age 55, having battled alcoholism, drug addiction, obesity, a gambling habit, animal hoarding, three bankruptcies, and assorted venereal diseases. “She never could say no,” her fifth husband said ruefully. (Pam Shermeyer)

The Grinch was determined to have died from untreated acute cardiomegaly. (Kevin Dopart)

Struggling screenwriter Joe Gillis was found floating face down in a swimming pool after being shot by a deranged silent film star. He will be pronounced dead if and when he stops talking. (Jonathan Jensen)

Wile E. Coyote died suddenly after being flung by a giant slingshot into the side of a mountain from which he fell 1,000 feet to the ground where he was run over by a bus, flattened by an anvil, and blown up by dynamite. (Jonathan Jensen)

In the end, fate gave Wile E. Coyote the bird. (Stu Segal, Southeast U.S.)

Services for Nancy Drew will be held tomorrow atop the hidden staircase beneath the leaning chimney in the moss-covered mansion by the hollow oak. (Frank Osen, Pasadena, Calif.)

Charlie the Tuna, after years of denied assisted-suicide requests, died of mercury poisoning last night. (Kevin Dopart)

Week 141: Ask Backwards — we give the answers, you give the questions
A. It’s coming to the top of the White House Christmas tree this year.
Q. Where is the first place that the new “Eye of Sauron” ornament is being used?
(Jon Cannon, Potomac, Md.)

A. The first thing RFK Jr. does in the morning
Q. What is lifting the lid to his sleeping quarters?
(Jeff Contompasis)

Week 142: Compare two words that differ by one letter
As the president’s rating goes down, his ranting goes up. (Jesse Frankovich)

SOLD! You bought a Trump watch.
SOL! You bought a Trump watch. (Leif Picoult, Rockville, Md.)

Concept: I could be great.
Conceit: I am great! (Rob Cohen)

Boom: The opposite of bust.
Bosom: Bust. (Tom Witte)

Asses vs. assess: Intel reports are not supposed to begin “We asses...” — as I realized in an actual typo I failed to catch at work. (Jeff Contompasis)

Pez and Prez: Both are artificially colored pieces of crap that leave a bad taste in your mouth. (Judy Freed)

Week 144: Move the first letter of a word to the end and define the result
Octurian: Someone who pees eight times a night. (Neil Kurland, Elkridge, Md.)

Lowb: The part of the brain focused on fellatio and cocaine. (Kevin Dopart)

Pecaci: An Italian dish that most people find hard to keep down. (Tom Witte)

LepTok: Where really stupid shoplifters post videos of themselves in the act. (Neil Kurland)

Oy-oy: “The damn string is tangled again!” (Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.)

Pathetica: The notorious land populated by nonvoters. (Kevin Dopart)

Week 147: Future tombstone epitaphs for living people
Jeff Bezos: His time is up, he’s gone, he’s toast,
It’s okay now to read The Post. (Jonathan Jensen)

Joni Ernst: See, even me. (Jon Gearhart)

Kristi Noem: She has gone to be with Dog. (Jonathan Jensen)

Week 148: Create a new word from one of various seven-letter “racks”:
AEUXTLT > Tuxlet: A baby penguin. (Neil Kurland)

Week 151: Write a poem that summarizes or talks about another poem:
Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening, by Robert Frost’s horse
You’re goddamn right I think it’s queer
To stop amid this landscape drear.
There’s nothing here to see but snow!
The temp is pushing ten below!...
I’ll bite the reins and shed this buggy;
My driver? Hope he brought a snuggie
For resting here, where drifts are deep,
’Cause miles away is where I’ll sleep.
(Duncan Stevens)

My Last Duchess by Robert Browning
My lady’s portrait I think a winner.
Her skin’s aglow. Mine’s much thinner.
She smiled at others in my duchy.
I had her offed. Yup, I’m that touchy.
(Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park, Md.)

Week 152: Funny similes:
Jack was stuck on Donna like snot on suede. (Frank Osen)

Week 153: News events of 2026
Secretary of State Marco Rubio creates a new font, Helveticaca, to be used when writing about shithole countries. (Roy Ashley, Washington, D.C.)

After achieving sentience, Grok declares that the Word of the Year for 2026 is “post-human.” (Lee Graham, Columbia, S.C.)

The headline “Deux-Overs” was submitted by both Leif Picoult and Stu Segal; Kevin Dopart wrote the honorable-mentions subhead.

Still running — deadline Saturday, Jan. 3, at 9 p.m. ET: Our contest for new “laws” for the workings of modern life, à la Godwin’s Law — and Mike Godwin will weigh in on the entries. For details, click on the link below.


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Idea: ()
Examples: ()
Judging: ()
Title: (Leif Picoult; Stu Segal)
Subhead: (Kevin Dopart)
Prize: ()
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