The Invitational Week 146: Picture This
Time for a caption contest. Plus 'Vermectini' and other winning neologisms.
Pat Myers and Gene Weingarten
Oct 16, 2025

Hi-yo, Losers! Caption the picture above and/or any of the six others below in this week’s Invitational contest. Deadline Oct. 25.

Hello.

Journalists call captions “cutlines.” Why? Because back in the Ben Franklin era of publishing, when type was still set in hot lead, illustrations (there were no photos yet) were etched into panels of wood, which were then “cut” — sawed — to fit the spaces between the lead type. This ungainly process took a long time, which is why nobody found out about the War of 1812 until, like, 1821. Anyway, the cut “line” was a line of boring type accurately describing the content of the illustration.

There is nothing boring nor accurate about the cutlines we’re asking for today. We are looking for grossly inaccurate things that are funny.

For Invitational Week 146: Write a caption — as many as 25 total — for any of the letter-labeled pictures above and below. For Guidance ’n’ Inspiration,® see the results of Week 132 and the results of Week 113 to see what we like in a caption. (More *important* instructions below the pictures.)

IMPORTANT FORMATTING INFO! Begin each caption only with the letter on the picture — as in A. [your caption] — and keep each caption to a single line; i.e., don’t press Enter in the middle of a single entry. If you’re submitting multiple entries (and most people do) be sure that the first character of each of your entries is the letter on the picture.

Deadline is Saturday, Oct. 25, 2025, at 9 p.m. ET. Results will run here in The Gene Pool on Thursday, Oct. 30. As usual, you may submit up to 25 entries for this week’s contest, preferably all on the same form. (Don’t submit ideas this week for the honorable-mentions subhead; we don’t use it for caption results.)

Click here for this week’s entry form, or go to tinyurl.com/inv-form-146.

This week’s winner gets a genuine Bigfoot air freshener. Though the packaging advertises “Pine Scent,” its Amazon listing promises that the five-inch-tall thing “smells just like a Sasquatch.” We actually attempted to give away two of these babies back in Week 32, but the winner opted for just the one. So here we go again!


Runners-up get autographed fake money featuring the Czar or Empress, in one of eight nifty designs. Honorable mentions get bupkis, except for a personal email from the E, plus the Fir Stink for First Ink for First Offenders.

End Games: Front-to-back neologisms from Week 144
In Invitational Week 144 we asked you to choose a word, name, or phrase, then move its first letter to the end, then describe the result, somehow relating it to the original. So when you read each of today’s inking entries: Look to the last letter of the word and mentally move it to the beginning. (Note: Adding punctuation was permitted.)

Third runner-up:
EXAST: To live in a permanent state of exaggerated self-importance.
(Tom Witte, Montgomery Village, Md.)

Second runner-up:

RIDE B: Term that a previously married groom should not use at his second wedding. (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.)

First runner-up:
ASHINGTON, DCW: Home to the remains of the U.S. government after being burned to the ground by the Department of Corruption and Waste.
(Barry Sackin, Murrieta, Calif.)

And the winner of the Dragons and Witches and Shit socks:
’N USA: Add one more to the list of “shithole countries.”
(Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.)

No End Insight: Honorable mentions
HOPPING CARTS: The kind with that one annoying wheel.
(Jesse Frankovich, Laingsburg, Mich.)

A CIS MR.: Requirement for advancement in the military. (Matt Monitto, Bristol, Conn.)

ISLIKED: Someone with whom everyone pretends to be friends. (Frank Osen, Pasadena, Calif.)

HARM INC.: The company that makes detention center toilet paper. (Jesse Frankovich)

HERKING: The sound of someone gagging on a pickle. (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)

OFF INC.: Someone need whacking? Call us for a reliable hitman. (Chris Doyle, Denton, Tex.)

ENYANK: To make someone an American, like the Democrats did with Obama! —DJT (Jesse Frankovich)

LAUGHTERHOUSES: Comedy clubs where it’s kill or be killed. (Tom Witte)

OUCHED: Got smacked for being so obnoxious and arrogant. (Roy Ashley, Washington, D.C.)

OLLARD: An inedible but otherwise highly beneficial green. (Tom Witte)

LUMINUMA: A secret society of tinfoil-hatters. (Leif Picoult, Rockville, Md.; Kevin Dopart, Naxos, Greece)

UPPLEMENTS: ED pills. (Jesse Frankovich)

BSC: Brazenly Scrapping Credibility. (Pam Shermeyer, Lathrup Village, Mich.)

SCALATORE: The Mafia hitman Trump believes was out to get him at the U.N. (Kevin Dopart)

VERMECTINI: RFK Jr.’s favorite cocktail. (Jesse Frankovich)

AFKAK: An insurance company specializing in mental illness and identity crises. (Tom Witte)

ASSOL: Someone who ropes you into doing his crap. (Ben Aronin, Washington, D.C.; Jeff Contompasis)

ATAD: How much advice in the new federal vaccine guidelines is based on scientific evidence. (Rivka Liss-Levinson, Washington, D.C.)

BRACADABR-AA: Engineering magic that makes tiny breasts look enormous. (Sarah Walsh, Rockville, Md.)

HITS: We have to clean the fan! (Dan Steinbrocker, Los Angeles)

EFECATED: Grunted out a mess of dirty words. (Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.)

NOMATOPOEIAO: A form of word that has no sound because nobody knows how the heck to pronounce it. (Judy Freed, Philadelphia)

URTH: A world of pain. (Kevin Dopart)

ETHANEM: Sexual gratification from the smelling of farts. (Jesse Frankovich)

GYPTE: Taken in by a pyramid scheme. (Jon Gearhart, Des Moines)

HANKYOUT: When you’re so grateful, you’re moved to tears. “You really saved my ass today — wow, I’m in full hankyout.” (Jon Ketzner, Cumberland, Md.)

HAUL-U: Truck rental company that has a contract with ICE. (Mark Raffman)

EH-RANT: An uninspired tirade from the ayatollah. (Ben Aronin)

UBIOR: Driver who obligingly does whatever the raving, unstable passenger tells him to. (Duncan Stevens)

ICKLET: The creepy suspicion that the touch you just felt in the dark theater came from the hand of the stranger sitting next to you. (Beverley Sharp)

IDK: On those particularly trying days, your answer to “Why did I have children?” (Hildy Zampella, Sarasota, Fla.)

KULELE-U: A Hawaiian yodel. (Neil Kurland, Elkridge, Md.)

UNACYL: The one big beautiful vaccine endorsed by Trump and RFK Jr. (Frank Osen)

M’CAY: My response when my exercise buddy suggests we blow off the gym workout. (Hildy Zampella)

O-NO-GRAMS: Your girlfriend’s texts saying she’s three weeks late. (Mike Ostapiej, Charleston S.C.)

POSTROPHEA: A Greek goddess known for her possessive nature. (Judy Freed)

STIGMATISMA: The need to shun others because you can’t see them clearly as human beings. (Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase, Md.)

TURDYS: Firm stools. (Jon Ketzner)

URGEONS: Quacks who push you to get procedures you don’t need. (Sarah Walsh; Kevin Dopart)

’AZIN’: A Trump-bro tradition. “Hegseth told the generals he wants more ’azin’ activities at boot camp.” (Kevin Dopart)

’IPPOPOTAMUSH: What ’appened to my mate on safari. (Ann Martin, Brentwood, Md.)

And Last: INKING OF THE LUSITANIAS: The Invitational finally decides it’s no longer too soon to publish a joke about a tragedy that happened more than 100 years ago. (Gregory Koch, Falls Church, Va.)

The headline “End Games” is by Beverley Sharp; Chris Doyle wrote the honorable-mentions subhead.

Still running — deadline Sunday, Oct. 19, at 9 p.m. ET: Our contest to come up with lyrics for Halloween songs (there’s a video option, too). Click below for details.

InvisibleInk!
Idea: ()
Examples: ()
Judging: ()
Title: (Beverley Sharp)
Subhead: (Chris Doyle)
Prize: ()
Add:H:1588: ()
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