The Invitational Week 136: Limerixicon XXII — Cast Your I's Upon Us
Write us a limerick that features a word beginning with I. Plus winning musings on the new PBS & NPR.
Pat Myers and Gene Weingarten
Aug 07, 2025


A Trump-dyed PBS: A runner-up in this week’s Invitational results, by Jeff Contompasis (GIF by Valerie Holt)
Welcome to the Doggerel Days of August: And for The Invitational that means it’s the Limerixicon, in which we link up for a week with OEDILF, the project — now in its twenty-second year — to create an Omnificent English Dictionary in Limerick Form, aiming to represent every meaning of every word with a well-constructed limerick. Every year since retired Air Force radio operator and knife salesman Chris Strolin founded OEDILF.com in 2004, we’ve invited Invite readers to pen some limericks beginning with whatever sliver of the alphabet that Chris and his henchpersons are up to. (Current estimated completion date: Feb. 16, 2066; current number of limericks: 128,000-plus from more than 1,100 contributors, many of them Invitational Losers.) Now we’re up to …

Invitational Week 136: Supply a humorous, previously unpublished limerick that significantly features any word, name, or multi-word term beginning with the letter I, as in this we-just-have-to example by the Czar of The Invitational:

When The Post used to host Invitational,
It insisted on things unsensational.
But we’re now freed to play
With all matters risque,
Such as poopy and acts copulational.

What’s “significantly”? The I-word shouldn’t be used simply in passing. “I” or “in” or “is” or “it” isn’t enough unless you focus on that word; writing about “the in-crowd,” for example, or playing tag and saying “You’re it.”

While we no longer have to worry about “family newspaper” restriction on ribald limericks, we’re still as strict as always about the limerick form: “perfect” rhyme; a strong “hickory-dickory-dock” rhythm within Lines 1, 2, and 5; a “dickory-dock” in Lines 3 and 4; one or more un-accented syllables on either side are fine. Say the example above with exaggerated accents, and you’ll get the hickory-thing.

For a lot more detail, you can read the Empress’s primer “Get Your ’Rick Rolling.” Or just savor last year’s winners.

Formatting this week: As with all our poetry contests, just write your limerick as it ought to look when published, in five lines. Don’t bother trying to boldface or italicize your I- word, though; it won’t transmit in the entry form.

Deadline is Saturday, Aug. 16, at 9 p.m. ET. Results will run here in The Gene Pool on Thursday, Aug. 21. As usual, you may submit up to 25 entries for this week’s contest, preferably all on the same form.

Click here for this week’s entry form, or go to tinyURL.com/inv-form-136.

This week’s winner, our top Loserbard, receives — so appropriately for beach season — this rubber shark that, when you give it a little squeeze, promptly spits out a human foot. Donated by the footloose Dave Prevar,


Runners-up get autographed fake money featuring the Czar or Empress, in one of eight nifty designs. Honorable mentions get bupkis, except for a personal email from the E, plus the Fir Stink for First Ink for First Offenders.

Public Bootlicking Service? What’s in store for NPR & PBS
In Week 134, in the wake of Congress’s Trump-ordered spiteful takeback of all the money it had already promised to public broadcasting, back when Congress was an independent branch of the U.S. government, we wondered if the radio and TV networks might tinker with their programming in an effort to change the president’s mind. Your suggestions include lots of revivals of PBS classics, with tweaked titles.

Third runner-up:
Maul Creatures Great and Small: Don Jr. and Eric take viewers on a hunting safari each week in a different U.S. national park.
(Kevin Dopart, Naxos, Greece)

Second runner-up:
OVA: The documentary series pivots to focus on a woman’s true purpose on earth.
(Leif Picoult, Rockville, Md.)

First runner-up:
The Trumped-over PBS logo pictured at the top of this page.
(Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)

And the winner of the book “The Sensuous Artichoke”:
Wait Wait … Don’t Tell on Me!: Trump sends his personal lawyer to interview Ghislaine Maxwell.
(Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.)

Downstairs/Downstairs: Honorable mentions
Have Children’s Television Workshop live up to its name: Instead of “Sesame Street,” get those little hands making 65-inch flat-screens. (Mike Ostapiej, Charleston, S.C.)

Hiring Line: Contestants demonstrate ass-kissing, boot-licking, and other sycophancy skills as they vie for government jobs they aren’t qualified for. (Terri Berg Smith, Rockville, Md.)

Bert and Ernie get girlfriends. (Jesse Frankovich, Laingsburg, Mich.)

Jamaica Estates: The story of a plucky Scottish maiden, Mary Anne MacLeod, torn between her small island village and a dashing slumlord in Queens. Mary eventually dedicates herself to her extraordinary son who almost wins the Vietnam War but for the tragic skeletal abnormality that derails his military career. But greater things are in store! (Dave McCord, Arlington, Va.)

American Masters: Celebrating the great men of the Antebellum South. (Norm Young, Boston, a First Offender; Art Grinath, Takoma Park, Md.)

American Blasters: Don Jr. and Eric on safari with luxuriously outfitted Abrams tanks and ground-to-air missiles. (Stu Segal, Southeast U.S.)

Morning Rendition: Wake up with a smile each weekday to hear NPR follow immigrants rounded up by ICE and sent to CECOT, skipping pesky due process. (Sam Mertens, Silver Spring, Md.)

Weakened Condition: Airing each Saturday and Sunday, this hard-hitting NPR show pulls back the curtain on the devastating health effects of vaccines. We don’t need no stinking science! (Jonathan Jensen, Baltimore)

Wall Things Considered: This great, great program on border security will be brought to you by Mexico. (Jesse Frankovich)

Oil Things Considered features daily stories on how fossil fuels make America great and keep our economy strong. (Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase, Md.; Chris Doyle, Denton, Tex.)

All Thugs Considered: New weekly NPR program highlighting the latest achievements of ICE. (Jon Ketzner, Cumberland, Md.)

All Things Reconsidered: Six Supreme Court Justices discuss which hallowed precedents to go after next. (Mark Raffman)

Defunding Your Roots: Genealogists search your past to uncover any ancestors who might have benefited from DEI programs. (Stephen Dudzik, Olney, Md.)

Proving Your Roots: Random people are pulled off the street and have a half-hour to verify their citizenship — or they win a trip to one of several exotic locations. (Bernard Brink, Cleveland, Mo.)

Call the Tradwife: An AI-generated June Cleaver answers viewer questions about cooking, cleaning, pregnancy, and beaver care. (Kevin Dopart)

Master/piece Theatre: A miniseries bout a strong, rich, handsome man and the hot women who let him do what he wants because he is a star. Based on a true story. (Mark Raffman)

MasterRace Theatre: A restaging of “The Birth of a Nation,” hosted by Nick Fuentes. (Chris Doyle)

Hannity Fare: Unbiased political commentary replaces “PBS NewsHour.” (Chris Doyle)

New gifts for pledge drives. Out: tote bags. In: truck nuts. (Mark Raffman)

Pride in Prejudice: A new documentary revealing the entirely valid historical basis for White supremacy. (William Kennard, Arlington, Va.)

Pati’s Mexican Table is overturned to locate anyone who might be hiding under it. (Jeff Contompasis)

PBS revives Where In the World Is Carmen Sandiego? Every week, Carmen shows up in a different shithole country — and hates it! (Michael Stein, Arlington, Va.)

Firing Line: It’s another Monday and President Trump’s appointees stand ready to claim they want to spend more time with their families. (Rob Huffman, Fredericksburg, Va.)

Each episode of Firing Line ends with an actual firing line. (Jesse Rifkin, Arlington, Va.)

NPR’s Fresh Pair: It’s not easy to sell a wet-T-shirt contest on radio, but we’ll try it. (Barbara Turner, Takoma Park, Md.)

This Gold House: Watch as President Trump transforms the Bidens’ decrepit old White House into a big, beautiful palace that Midas would envy. (Steve Smith, Potomac, Md.)

Sesame Street will always be brought to you by the letter Q and the number 17. (Gary Crockett)

The TED Cruz Radio Hour: Your guide to the best vacation spots for escaping bad weather. (Jonathan Jensen)

It’s a beautiful day in Aaron Rodgers’ Neighborhood. (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.)

CasaNova: Documentary series that focuses on the real science of hitting on women. (Kevin Dopart)

Clifford the Big Red DOGE runs around destroying some big thing every week! (Art Grinath)

Downtown Alley: A PBS series about illegal immigrants selling drugs in urban areas. (Neal Starkman, Seattle)

“PBS NewsHour” is allowed to keep running, but it has to change its name to BS NewsHour. (Jeff Contompasis)

The headline “Public Bootlicking Service” is by Jesse Frankovich; Kevin Dopart wrote the honorable-mentions subhead.

Still running — deadline Saturday, Aug. 9, at 9 p.m. ET: Our classic contest for reinterpreting headlines. Click below for details.

InvisibleInk!
Idea: ()
Examples: ()
Judging: ()
Title: (Jesse Frankovich)
Subhead: (Kevin Dopart)
Prize: (Dave Prevar)
Add:H:1654: (Valerie Holt)
VisibleInk!