The Invitational Week 122: Colt Fusion
As Derby day nears, we have our winning pun-filled foal names -- and our 'grandfoal' contest
Pat Myers and Gene Weingarten
May 01, 2025


It’s The Invitational’s brand-new foal — named … see the 93 choices below.
Hello. Welcome to the finish line of the 32nd Invitational Derby. As always, we challenged you to “breed” any two names from a list of 100 three-year-old racehorses nominated for this year’s Kentucky Derby and other Triple Crown races . . . and then name the foal. This is among the most ancient and popular and redundant Invitational contests, which we have introduced here for 30 years, always striving for some new way to make it interesting. This year we wish to state here that “foal” is an anagram of “loaf,” something we had not realized before and which we hereby present as something entertaining even if it is lame and pointless. The point is, we’re trying.

But we don’t have to try, it turns out! You’ve made it interesting with your entries. We got more than 1,800 of them, a shocking percentage of which were very good, meaning we had to kill a whole bunch of worthy entries, including yours. That is our message to each and every one of you today: If your entry does not appear below, please understand it was the very last one cut, a decision we made so reluctantly that we considered committed seppuku over having done it. Splendid.

And now, the second race on this year’s card:

For Invitational Week 70: “Breed” any two of today’s inking foal names and give the “grandfoal” a name that reflects both names, just as the foal names do. We even have a nice printable list of this week’s foals right here (or type in tinyurl.com/inv-list-122).

Just as with the Week 120 contest (and in real horse racing), a name may not exceed 18 characters including spaces; those characters may include punctuation and numerals. You may run words together to save space, but the name should be easy to read.

Click here for this week’s entry form, or go to tinyURL.com/inv-form-122. As usual, you may submit up to 25 entries for this week’s contest, preferably all on the same form.

Deadline is Saturday, May 10, at 9 p.m. ET. Results will run here in The Gene Pool on Thursday, May 15.

The winner gets — continuing our Spring Chicken prize theme — a pair of chicken-foot socks whose soles niftily play on the H&M logo to spell out HEN. Because of tariff changes, these socks are now worth $849.


They were out of hoof socks.
Breed All About It: The foal names of Week 120
We got waaay too many. You are all pun geniuses, even those of you who flunked out of English in 10th grade. There are more 1,800 entries, more than last year. How good were they? The following entries were submitted in such great numbers that they could not qualify for ink on the basis of simple redundancy:

Garamond x A.P. Kid = Font of Knowledge

River Thames x Handsome Pants = London Britches

Barnes x Voldemort = Barnes Ignoble

But now, the winners:

Third runner-up:
Breed Rodriguez with Ripped and name the foal Roidriguez (Gregory Koch, Falls Church, Va.)

Second runner-up:
What Me Worry x Be Real = Alfred E. Human (Stephen Gilberg, Silver Spring, Md.)

First runner-up:
Captain Cook x Rank = Captain, Obviously (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)

And the winner of the lamp in the shape of a chicken who’s laying a lightbulb egg:
Olive Green x Citizen Bull = Oyl of Olé (Laurie Brink, Mineola, N.Y.)


Off-Track Begetting: Honorable mentions
A.P. Kid x Exuberant Mischief = Essay Tease (Rob Cohen, Potomac, Md.)

A.P. Kid x Test Score = Long Time No C (Chris Doyle, Denton, Tex.)

A.P. Kid x Rank = P.U. Kid (Jeff Shirley, Richmond, Va.)

A.P. Kid x Optical = Star Pupil (Mia Wyatt, Ellicott City, Md.)

A.P. Kid x Studly Doright = Study Doright (Mary McNamara, Washington, D.C.)

A.P. Kid x Voldemort = The Dork Lord (Mary McNamara)

American Promise x Donut God = Manifest Density (Lee Graham, Reston, Va.)

Be Real x Flood Zone = You’re Delugional (Frank Osen, Pasadena, Calif.)

Big Boat x Capitol Hill = YachtaYachtaYachta (Jon Gearhart, Des Moines, Iowa; Malcolm Fleschner, Palo Alto, Calif.)

Big Boat x Getaway Car = Can’t Ketch Me (Laurie Brink)

Capitol Hill x Citizen Bull = Point of Ordure (Jeff Hazle, San Antonio, Tex.)

Capitol Hill x Contribution = Capital Hill (Neil Kurland, Elkridge, Md.)

Chunk of Gold x Rapture = Oregasm (Jeff Contompasis)

Cipher x Last Man Standing = Code Duello (Perry Beider, Silver Spring, Md.)

Citizen Bull x Naughty Rascal = Beef Strokin’ Off (Jeff Contompasis)

Contribution x Exuberant Mischief = Go Fun Me (Karen Lambert, Chevy Chase, Md.)

Crab Daddy x Donut God = Carb Daddy (Neil Kurland)

Crab Daddy x Mistress = The Liceman Cometh (Chuck Helwig, Centreville, Va.)

Cut the Dust x Be Real = Cut the Crap (Roy Ashley, Washington, D.C.)

Cut the Dust x Big Boat = OreckOfTheHesperus (Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park, Md.)

Dear Chairman x California Burrito = Maothful (Mike Hammer, Arlington, Va.)

Donut God x Flying Mohawk = Beignet & the Jet (Mary McNamara)

Donut God x Contribution = Holey Chit (Frank Osen)

Donut God x Kick It In = Cruller Than Death (Bernard Brink, Cleveland, Mo.)

Donut God x Makes Sense = Glazed Unconfused (Hildy Zampella, Sarasota, Fla.)

Flood Zone x No Escape = Water We Gonna Do? (Lee Graham)

Flying Mohawk x Coal Battle = I Pity the Fuel (Tim Watts, Athens, Ala.)

Garamond x Innovator = New Serif in Town (Andrew Rosenberg, Brooklyn, N.Y.)

Guns Loaded x California Burrito = Gangsta Wrap (Jonathan Paul; Jesse Frankovich, Laingsburg, Mich.)

Hands of Time x Maitre D = Won’t Wait for You (Frank Osen)

Hands of Time x Only in America = From Don to Musk (Elizabeth Kline, Frederick, Md.)

Icemaker x Only in America = Great Deportations (Howard Walderman, Columbia, Md.)

Itsmybirthday x Garamond = Baptismal Font (Stephen Dudzik, Olney, Md.)

Journalism x Aftermath = The 1/4th Estate (Jon Gearhart)

Keep It Easy x Touchy = Make It Hard (Michael Rosen, New York)

Last Man Standing x Chunk of Gold = Survivor Gilt (Hildy Zampella)

Last Man Standing x Passion Rules = Lust Man Standing (Eric Nelkin, Silver Spring, Md.)

Lionel x Cut the Dust = Messy (Jeff Rackow, Bethesda, Md.)

Lionel x Grande = Messi Beaucoup (Andrew Rosenberg)

Lionel x Mistress = HO (Marc Leibert, Travis AFB, Calif.)

Lured Away x Sandman = Kid Napped (Mia Wyatt)

Luxor Cafe x Necessity = Mummy of Invention (Jeff Hazle)

Luxor Cafe x Cipher = WalkLikeEncryption (Chuck Helwig)

Luxor Cafe x Crab Daddy = Fish and Cheops (William Kennard, Arlington, Va.)

Maitre D x Chunk of Gold = Maitre A-Plus (Stephen Dudzik)

Mellencamp x Mistress = John’s Cougar (Rob Huffman, Fredericksburg, Va.)

Mellencamp x Chunk of Gold = Cougar-rand (Dave Zarrow, Skokie, Ill.)

Mistress x Studly Doright = Mountee (Jonathan Paul)

Mistress x Legitimate = Mrs. (Ben Aronin, Washington, D.C.)

Mistress x Legitimate = Illegit Mate (Steve Langer, Chevy Chase, Md.)

Naughty Rascal x Necessity = Sinner Qua Non (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.)

Olive Green x Big Boat = Oil Aboard! (David Peckarsky, Tucson, Ariz.)

Olive Green x Big Boat = Spinach Armada (Duncan Stevens)

Optical x Mistress = Optometryst (Jeff Shirley)

Optical x Test Score = EyeQ (Rob Wolf, Gaithersburg, Md.)

Passion Rules x Coal Battle = Carbon Dating (Jon Ketzner, Cumberland, Md.)

Patch Adams x Naughty Rascal = Robbin’ Williams (Eric Nelkin)

Patch Adams x Handsome Pants = Throbbin’ Williams (Brian Cohen, Winston-Salem, N.C.)

Poster x Adventurist = Billboard Baggins (Frank Osen)

Power From Above x Admire Daytona = Sects on the Beach (Tim Watts)

Power From Above x Handsome Pants = Lord & Tailored (Judy Freed, Deerfield Beach, Fla.)

Power From Above x Handsome Pants = Solar Flair (Pam Shermeyer, Lathrup Village, Mich.; Steve Langer)

Power From Above x Passion Rules = Deus Sex Machina (Michael Porcello, Washington, D.C.; Jonathan Paul)

Publisher x Guns Loaded = Simon & Shoots Her (Laura Clairmont, Venice, Fla.; Mary McNamara)

Rank x A.P. Kid = Stinky & the Brain (Perry Beider)

Rank x Guns Loaded= No.1 With a Bullet (Hildy Zampella)

Rapture x Be Real = Raptcha (Judy Freed)

Render Judgment x Chunk of Gold = Gilty (Pamela Love, Columbia, Md.; Jonathan Paul)

Render Judgment x Garamond = Not My Type (Ward Kay, Vienna, Va.)

River Thames x Icemaker = London Fridge (Paul Madigan; Jeff Hazle)

Rothko x Lionel = Mark Train (Steve Price, New York; Mike Hammer)

Scarecrow x Keep It Easy: No-Brainer (Jesse Frankovich; Andrew Rosenberg)

Scarecrow x Built = If I Only HadABra (Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.)

Scorching x Donut God = Fire in the Hole (Bernard Brink)

Scorching x Flying Mohawk = Smoker’s Coif (Tim Watts)

Sock It to Me x Cut the Dust = Mike Dyson (Mia Wyatt)

Sock It to Me x Power From Above = Socket to Me (Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase, Md.)

Sock It to Me x He’s Not Joking = Stop Laugh-In (Kevin Dopart, Naxos, Greece)

Studly Doright x Naughty Rascal = The Full Mountie (Jonathan Paul)

Studly Doright x The Last Straw = Brokeback Mountie (Jonathan Paul)

Tiztastic x Built = Titztastic (Frank Osen)

Touchy x Clever Again = Touché (Mark Raffman)

Tux x Exuberant Mischief = Yux (Duncan Stevens)

Voldemort x Donut God = The Dark Lard (Leif Picoult, Rockville, Md.; Gregory Koch)

What Me Worry x Only In America = Of Course Me Worry (Frank Osen)

What Me Worry x Journalism = Alfred E. Newsman (Mark Raffman)

What Me Worry x Passion Rules = Usual Gang of Ids (Jonathan Paul)

And Last: Neoequos x Clever Again = AndNow,Grandfoals! (Laurie Brink)

The headline “Breed All About It” is by Laura Clairmont; Kevin Dopart wrote the honorable-mentions subhead.

Still running — deadline Sunday, May 4, at 9 p.m. ET: Our contest for songs about topics in the news. Click on the link below for the details.

InvisibleInk!
Idea: ()
Examples: ()
Judging: ()
Title: (Laura Clairmont)
Subhead: (Kevin Dopart)
Prize: ()
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