The Invitational Week 120: Pun for the Roses
It's our annual horse 'breeding' wordplay contest. Plus winning wacky crossword clues.
Pat Myers and Gene Weingarten
Apr 17, 2025


Breed Triple Crown nominees
Roger Roger and Passion Rules
and name their foal Yes Yes I Will Yes
Rapture x Exuberant Mischief = Rupture
Maitre D x Mistress = Maitre DD
—

Hello.

Thirty years ago, a hardbitten journalist by the name of Mike Hammer, like the guy in the detective stories, came to us with a contest idea. In addition to being an Invitational fan, Mike was a horse racing aficionado, and he noted the tradition of naming racehorses by alluding to the name of either or both parents, the way that Man O’ War was the sire of War Admiral. How about if we do it with Invite-level wordplay? Every year since, our “breeding” contest has consistently been our most popular, drawing thousands of entries — usually including Mike’s.

For Invitational Week 120: At this link (tinyURL.com/inv-horses-2025) is a list of 100 of the hundreds of 3-year-old racehorses nominated for the 2025 Triple Crown races: the Kentucky Derby, Preakness Stakes, and Belmont Stakes. “Breed” any two names on that list and name the “foal” to humorously play off both parents’ names, as in the examples above. (Yes, we know they’re almost all male. Maybe they’ll adopt.) You may submit as many as 25 pairings.

On the same link above, beneath the list of names, are the dozens of inking entries from last year’s contest. You’ll get a good idea of what we’re looking for.

Note these Hard ’n’ Fast Rules!
— As in thoroughbred racing, a name may not exceed 18 characters including spaces, but those characters may include punctuation and numerals. You may run words together to save space, but we strongly favor names that are easy to read (capitalizing the individual words helps).

— Please write each entry in the A x B = C format of the examples above so we can sort the thousands of entries by horse-parent name. Just like this:
Hancock x Stoke the Fire = Stroke the Fire
NOTE: If you have several entries using the same horse, each entry has to be full, like the one above.

— Don’t give a foal a name that’s already on the list; such an entry never gets ink.

Deadline is Saturday, April 26, at 9 p.m. ET. Results will run here in The Gene Pool on Thursday, May 1, two days before Derby Day.

Click here for this week’s entry form, or go to tinyURL.com/inv-form-120. As usual, you may submit up to 25 entries for this week’s contest, preferably all on the same form.

When we run the results two weeks from now, we’ll have our annual spinoff contest, to breed any two of the winning names to name a “grandfoal.” (So if you’re not a yearly Gene Pool subscriber, a measly $5 for a one-month subscription will let you enter the foal and grandfoal contests, along with the almost daily riches of Gene’s oeuvre, plus get all the other Pool noodles.)

The winner of this year’s Kentucky Derby gets a blanket of roses and $3.1 million. But you could score a mini-lamp in the shape of a chicken who’s beginning to lay a lightbulb egg.

Sorry, a real egg was too expensive. This week’s prize lamp.

Once More With Fill-In: The crossword clues of Week 118
In Invitational Week 118 we presented you with a partially finished NYT Sunday crossword grid and asked you to fill in any of the Acrosses or Downs with your choice of letters, then supply a funny clue. Some winners this week are in the cryptic-crossword style, in which the clue plays on the letters of the word, not just its meaning — like this one by Howard Walderman: OBES: Slightly overweight.

While the blank squares allowed for lots of variety, especially in those long phrases that span the grid, there was still some duplication; too many people to credit translated 85A [DR_N_H] as DR. INCH, an ED specialist.

Third runner-up:
40 Across [_ CH _ ES ]: ACHIES: What owies become as you get older
(Bruce Johnson, Churchton, Md.; Neil Kurland, Elkridge, Md.)

Second runner-up:
103 Across [ _R_N_]: ARKNE: The heart of darkness (Chris Doyle, Denton, Tex.)

First runner-up:
99 Across [R_AD_E_WE_ _T_E_IN_S]: RYADZEXWEZOTYEZINXS: The latest drug advertised on TV, with the warning “People allergic to Ryadzexwezotyezinxs should not take Ryadzexwezotyezinxs” (Jeff Rackow, Bethesda, Md.)

And the winner of the framed portrait of Donald Trump made out of genuine covfefe grounds [runner-up in our food-art contest]:
49 Down [JU_T_S]: JUST US: What’s left once the courts are gone
(Sam Mertens, Silver Spring, Md.)

Note: The prize for top crossword clue was donated by 398-time Loser Craig Dykstra, who created this portrait of Trump …



… using genuine covfefe grounds for our Week 116 food-art contest (he was first runner-up), cutting out a stencil on adhesive film. To winner Sam Mertens, Craig offers either to send it to him (framed or not) or "If they would prefer not to have it, I would also be happy to take photos of it on fire and send those along instead."

Your call, Sam.

—

Not a Clue: Honorable mentions

1A: PAMP: He coddles his hookers (Kevin Dopart, Washington, D.C.)

2D: ALOHO: A greeting with a lay (Kevin Dopart)

4D: POTTY PICS: An even worse social media trend than food photos (Jesse Frankovich, Laingsburg, Mich.)

10D: BANG ME: A first-date request that generally results in no second date (Jon Ketzner, Cumberland, Md.)

11D: MIME: “Auntie ____,” the shortest-lived Broadway musical (Frank Osen, Pasadena, Calif.)

13A: CHUMS: Fishing buddies (Jeff Shirley, Richmond, Va.)

15D: NINE DOLLARS: What Yo Mama charges the baseball team (Jeff Shirley)

22A: TRIAL: A period that comes before a sentence (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)

23A: LOOB: Moisturizing nipple cream (Lee Graham, Reston, Va.)

27A: TESTS DECIDE THE BOINK: How can you tell if I’m the father? (Jeff Shirley)

27A: TARTS DERIDE THE BOINK: Another bad poll for Trump (William Kennard, Arlington, Va.)

28D: SUXE: The opposite of luxe (Jeff Hazle, San Antonio)

33A: BETTA: How butta makes matza taste (Judy Freed, Deerfield Beach, Fla.)

34D: ASSALT: What it’s like when they dumped half the shaker into your movie popcorn (Judy Freed)

34D: ASSOLÉ: The annoying drunken Spaniard at the bullfight (Stephen Dudzik, Olney, Md.)

34D: ASSFLY: Levi’s “trapdoor” jeans were its worst-selling model ever (Leif Picoult, Rockville, Md.)

35A: PREHISTORIC PERIODS: Why Oog wife invent maxipelt (Jesse Frankovich)

44A: AIRS: They’re often put on to accessorize an Armani suit (Jon Ketzner)

50D: ENOS: A crooked nose (Jeff Contompasis)

52A: JUGS BY THE POUND: A chain of discount implant clinics (Jeff Contompasis)

52A: PUNS BE THY PRUNE: Shakespearean insult meaning “your humor is the pits” (Kevin Dopart)

52A : NUNS BY THE P-FUNK: “Sister Act” remake by George Clinton (Sam Mertens)

52A: BUYS BOTH A PRUNE: What Mom does when the twins can’t poop (Jon Gearhart, Des Moines)

56D: WUNCE: How many times Danny Quayle did his spelling homework (Judy Freed)

57A: NOBULL: Another prize that Donald Trump is not going to win (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.)

61A: COVERY: One’s first return to health (Gregory Koch, Falls Church, Va.)

62A: GRIM MEN IN THEATERS: Drama critics. (Jonathan Jensen, Baltimore)

62A: GRIP MEN IN THEATERS: Dating advice from Lauren Boebert (Sam Mertens; Jesse Frankovich)

65D: EENY: The first word spoken by Trump when given a set of strategic options (Jonathan Jensen)

70A: BONES IN MY ASHES: Crematorium one-star review (Michael Stein, Arlington, Va.)

70A: DANES IN A LATHER: Result of Trump’s Greenland remarks (Michael Stein)

78A: BOE: To ruin an airplane. “Whoa, did you see that panel pop out? They sure are boeing things up these days.” (Michael Stein)

81A: ACME: The god of anvils (Jeff Contompasis)

87A: POSTGRADUATE LEGREE: What you get when you've mastered the finer points of inhumanity. “Trump officials defended ICE detention practices, insisting that all the agents had earned postgraduate legrees.” (Duncan Stevens)

87A: POSTGRADUATE REGRET: “And I thought majoring in DEI would open doors for me” (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village, Md.) .

89D: U.S. FINE: 1. Claim made by our President. 2. The price we are all paying. (Judy Freed)

91D: EXTIME: Those awkward minutes of small talk when you drop the kids off with the cheater. (Bruce Johnson)

92D: GO-EF-ME: Site to raise money for your sex dungeon (Sam Mertens)

93A: BEERD: This guy (Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase, Md.)


95A: DOGEDIVE: What Tesla stock is taking (Jesse Frankovich)

99A: READ BETWEEN THE WINES: A combination poetry slam and happy hour (Tom Witte)

99A: READ BETWEEN THE KINKS: How to find a meaningful relationship on a fetish dating site (Michael Stein)

106A: AMIMA: Palindrome answered by a pregnancy test (Jeff Shirley)

108A: ONEST: “I not only outrank every President, I am the Number ___ ever” (Frank Osen)

And Last:
106A: AI INK: What the Invitational will soon be full of (Jonathan Jensen)

The headline “Once More With Fill-In” is by Chris Doyle; Chris also wrote the honorable-mentions subhead.

Still running — deadline 9 p.m. ET Saturday, April 19: Our contest for … well, just click on the box below and take a look.


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