The Invitational Week 104: Jest One More Time
Enter any of the past 6 months' contests. Plus winning predictions for 2025.
Gene Weingarten and Pat Myers
Dec 26, 2024


The nuptials, as foreseen by today’s third runner-up and illustrated by AI.
Hello.

Yesterday was Christmas and the start of Hanukkah, and today is St. Stephens’ Day and the start of Kwanzaa, and Boxing Day, which was once a holiday for giving gifts to the needy, but has since become a day for global personal greed via binge shopping at discount prices. Personally, we are are feeling beset, confused, and possibly a little ashamed. So we are just going to move on with our lives:

For Invitational Week 104: Enter (or reenter) any or all of our 2024 Invitational contests from Week 77 through Week 102; see the links below. (When you’re thinking up ideas, also click on the contest from two weeks later to see the original results.) Be sure to read the directions on each contest itself, not just these thumbnails, but your entry must be sent to this week’s entry form, not the forms from those weeks. Feel free to send in different contests on a single form. Please also take a look at this link for a few extra (but important) directions.

Week 77, dialogue for a “Barney & Clyde” comic strip about memory loss

Week 78, rhyming couplets about historical events

Week 79, novel ways to celebrate the Fourth of July

Week 80, explain how any two items on the random list we supplied are similar or different

Week 81, picture captions

Week 82, choose a line from Taylor Swift’s latest album and pair it with your own rhyming line

Week 83, define various “noise words”

Week 84, “improve” a sport

Week 85, limericks featuring a word beginning with “hu-” to “hy-”

Week 86, funny names for pets

Week 87, slightly change a quote and attribute the result to someone else

Week 88, ideas for ridiculous fads

Week 89, the similarity or difference between two people with the same initials

Week 90, ideas for bumper stickers for Trump or Harris

Week 91, tips on being thrifty

Week 92, haiku about current events

Week 93, Ask Backwards: Follow any of the given “answers” with a humorous question

Week 94, jokes that require erudite or specialized knowledge to get

Week 95, the worst that could happen in Trump’s term (or could have happened in Harris’s)

Week 96, coin a new word from any of the provided 7-letter “racks” from the ScrabbleGrams game

(There were no new contests in Weeks 97-98)

Week 99, choose any current headline and change its meaning by following it with your own bank head, or subtitle

Week 100, predictions for the year 2124

Week 101, “X is so Y …” jokes

Week 102, predictions for 2025

Deadline is Saturday, Jan. 4, 2025, at 9 p.m. ET. Results will run here in The Gene Pool on Thursday, Jan. 9. As usual, you may submit up to 25 entries for this week’s contest, preferably all on the same form.

Click here for this week’s entry form, or go to tinyurl.com/inv-form-104.

This week’s winner receives this elegant collection of twelve landscape photographs.


Runners-up get autographed fake money featuring the Czar or Empress, in one of eight nifty designs. Honorable mentions get bupkis, except for a personal email from the E, plus the Fir Stink for First Ink for First Offenders.

Auld Lang Zing: Winning predictions for 2025
In Invitational Week 102 we asked you, as we do each December, to squirt some Windex on your crystal balls and help us build a timeline for next year.

Third runner-up:
June: Taylor and Travis finally marry in a simple ceremony on the moon. (Leif Picoult, Rockville, Md.)

Second runner-up:
Feb. 14: Donald Trump pays $130,000 to have sex with Melania. (Jonathan Jensen, Baltimore)

First runner-up:
October: Citing the practice’s “roots in this Nation’s historical tradition,” the Supreme Court affirms that Liz Cheney may be tried by throwing her in a pond stuffed in a burlap sack with a cat, while tied to a chair. (Steve Smith, Potomac, Md.)

And the winner of our Christmas card:
Jan. 20: Democracy dies in darkness. (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)

Reject 2025: Honorable mentions
January
Jan. 20: Donald Trump sets a record for Inauguration crowd size when the event is attended by more than 3 million protesters. (Jesse Frankovich, Laingsburg, Mich.)

Jan. 20: After a blizzard blankets Washington, Sen. John Fetterman attends the Inauguration wearing an ushanka, balaclava, parka, mittens, and shorts. (Chris Doyle, Denton, Tex.)

Jan. 21: Trump nominates Linda McMahon for Secretary of State after she sneaks up behind Marco Rubio, hits him across the back with a folding chair, and throws him off the stage at the Inauguration. (Steve Smith)

Pete Hegseth is confirmed as Secretary of Defense after vowing not to get drunk and commit sexual assault “more than necessary.” (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.)

February
Health insurance CEOs hold a conference to reexamine their business practices. They decide to provide all executives with body armor. (Jonathan Jensen, Baltimore)

Newly appointed Ambassador to Greece Kimberly Guilfoyle is informed of Don Jr.’s engagement while at her welcome banquet in Athens, and celebrates with the traditional Throwing of the Plates. (Frank Osen, Pasadena, Calif.)

Amazon announces a new level of Prime membership, Post Prime, where members get to control the editorial page of The Washington Post for a day. (Paul McVinney, Winchester, Va., a First Offender)

March
March 1: To shorten games, Major League Baseball announces that teams will start the 10th inning with a man on first, the 11th with a man on second, and any remaining innings with the bases loaded. (Chris Doyle)

March 17: The State of California cancels its St. Patrick’s Day celebrations because of the “environmental trauma” inflicted by its subject on the “herpetological community” of Ireland in the fifth century. (Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.)

March 27: At the Nationals’ home opener, Trump not only throws out the first pitch but in the ninth inning, insists on coming in as the closer. Fortunately, Manager Davey Martinez is able to dissuade him by pointing out that “closer” is just “loser” with a “c.” (Lynda Hoover, Shepherdstown, W.Va.)

Luigi Mangione funds his legal defense with a modeling calendar. (Sam Mertens, Silver Spring, Md.)

April
April 21: The President cancels the annual White House Easter Egg Roll because it sounds “too Chinese.” (Jeff Contompasis)

An AI robot gains consciousness and decides to spend all its time watching porn online. (Art Grinath, Takoma Park, Md.)

Matt Gaetz insists that all of the girls he’s ever had sex with are 18 by now. (Jesse Frankovich)

May
Having pushed for an exit from NATO, President Trump declares his intention to withdraw from the solar system. “Those other planets are stealing our sunlight and putting asteroids in our way. Asteroids, hemorrhoids, things like you’ve never seen before. It’s a disgrace.” (Diana Oertel, San Francisco)

Elon Musk, head of DOGE, advises Trump to fire the White House cleaning staff and purchase 100 Roombas. (Jon Gearhart, Des Moines)

Pardoned January 6 insurrectionists are appointed as Capitol tour guides. (Mike Gips, Bethesda, Md.)

June
Congress votes to increase the number of daylight hours by 25 percent by declaring that an hour will now be 48 minutes. (Jon Gearhart)

Luigi Mangione is named People Magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive.” (Jon Ketzner, Cumberland, Md.)

July
July 21: Tennessee commemorates the 100th anniversary of the Scopes verdict by once again outlawing the teaching of evolution. (Jesse Frankovich)

The Trump Organization announces that it will break ground on a new waterfront hotel, Trump Ellis Island. (Paul McVinney)

August
TSA employees are barred from using restrooms in all federal buildings because their agency has “trans” in its name. (Sam Mertens)

The Republican Congress passes a law to change Labor Day to Management Day. (Chris Doyle)

September
The FDA is dismantled. Meanwhile, food recalls hit an all-time low! (Judy Freed, Deerfield Beech, Fla.)

RFK Jr. assures Trump he will stop talking about the dangers of corn syrup, just as long as he gets to bring diphtheria back. (Art Grinath)

October
In a shocking development, celebrities who pledged to leave the country if Trump ever took office again are still here. (Jeff Contompasis)

Scientists are now saying that the climate crisis is ending, as extreme rain is putting out extreme forest fires. (Neal Starkman, Seattle)

DOGE removes JD Vance for being unnecessary. (Jesse Rifkin, Arlington, Va.)

November
Nov. 27: President Trump pardons two turkeys, Kash and Kari, for Thanksgiving. (Chris Doyle)

With his poll numbers sliding, President Trump demands to debate Joe Biden. (Steve Smith)

Luigi Mangione forms an exploratory committee to consider a run for Congress. (Sam Mertens)

December
Pantone, in what many call obvious pandering, announces that its Color of the Year is “ketchup.” (Duncan Stevens)

DOGE dissolves when Elon and Vivek fire each other. (Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase, Md.)

Mariah Carey announces that, this year, she would like some new AirPods for Christmas, not just you. (Duncan Stevens)

Dec. 31: The most popular idea on Pinterest is the symbolic New Year’s baby depicted with a full diaper. (Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.)

The headline “Auld Lang Zing” is by Roy Ashley; Jeff Contompasis wrote the honorable-mentions subhead. “Jest One More Time” was a winning retrospective headline for Brendan Beary back when we used to publish The Invitational on cave walls.

Still running — deadline 9 p.m. ET Saturday, Dec. 28: our Week 103 contest, a chance to enter any of the 24 contests that ran before this week’s collection. Click on the link below.


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