The Invitational Week 103: Redoer's Digest — our 2024 retrospective, Part 1
A second chance to enter any of 24 contests from 2024. Plus winning 'X is so Y' jokes.
Pat Myers and Gene Weingarten
Dec 18, 2024
“It was the best of toms, it was the worst of toms … — A Tale of Two Kitties.”
That’s Jesse Frankovich’s winning caption from our Week 61 contest; this week you can give that contest — and 23 others — a second shot.
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Hello and welcome to our third week of time-travel Invitationals. Late last month, we went 100 years into the future. Last week, we went one year into the future. Today, it’s one year into the past.
If you are one of the thousands of new subscribers who’ve just recently dipped your toes into The Gene Pool, it’s likely you’re just now getting to know The Invitational, the weekly humor/wordplay contest that lent wit and subversion to The Washington Post’s Style section for 30 years and now holds court here, with the same two post-Post judges.
So for you newbies, as well as for the Greater Loser Community, we offer our annual chance to look back — and enter — the previous year’s contests, in their wide variety and dubious taste; this week we feature the first twenty-four, next week the rest.
For Invitational Week 103: Enter any, or several, of our 2024 Invitational contests from Week 53 through Week 76, listed below with a link to each contest; be sure also to click on the link from two weeks later to see the results so you don’t accidentally send a joke we already ran.) Be sure to read the directions on each contest itself, not just the mini-descriptions below. But you must use THIS WEEK’s entry form, not the forms for the old contests.
Week 53, short poems about people who died in 2023 (not 2024!)
Week 54, edgy rhyming “alphabet couplets”
Week 55, new words or phrases including the letter block D-U-S-T in any order.
Week 56, an anodyne “dad joke” paired with an edgier “grandpa joke” that the subversive grampa in the comic “Barney & Clyde” might say.
Week 57, bad ideas for books or movies
Week 58, clickbait headlines for unsensational articles
Week 59, humorous “why not” bold ideas
Week 60, diary entries by anyone from history or fiction
Week 61, photo captions
Week 62, how to stress yourself out
Week 63, write something funny using only the words in Biden’s 2024 State of the Union address.
Week 64, chains of names that link humorously together
Week 65, poems about specific works of visual art
Week 66, coin a new product whose name is an anagram of a real product
Week 67, move the last letter of a word to the beginning and define the result
Week 68, “breed” any two of the listed racehorse names and name their “foal”
Week 69, new replacements for old cliches
Week 70, “breed” any two inking foal names from Week 68 and name the “grandfoal”
Week 71, “Wait Wait … Don’t Tell Me”-style multiple-choice questions
Week 72, choose a line from a Beatles song and add your own rhyming line
Week 73, change a letter in a real headline and write a “bank head” based on the result
Week 74, song parodies on any subject you like, as long as you’re funny and clever. Videos welcome!
Week 75, write something using only certain small sections of the keyboard
Week 76, “good/bad/ugly” jokes
Deadline is Saturday, Dec. 28, 2024, at 9 p.m. ET. Results will run here in The Gene Pool on Thursday, Jan. 2. As usual, you may submit up to 25 entries for this week’s contest, preferably all on the same form.
*****Please also take a look at this link for a few extra (but important) directions, especially regarding formatting entries to the various contests.**** (Note: Some readers are being told “Access denied” to this Google Doc; if that happens, please click on “Request access” and we’ll make sure it will work for you.)
Click here for this week’s entry form, or go to bit.ly/inv-form-103.
This week’s winner receives this fine wall art.
Runners-up get autographed fake money featuring the Czar or Empress, in one of eight nifty designs. Honorable mentions get bupkis, except for a personal email from the E, plus the Fir Stink for First Ink for First Offenders.
So Wit Goes: ‘X is so Y’ jokes from Week 101
In Invitational Week 101 we asked for fresh jokes in the venerable form “X is so Y.” That the form includes the revered Yo Mama joke was not lost on our entrants. One of them actually got ink.
Third runner-up:
Americans were so busy spending $10.8 billion on Christmas gifts on Black Friday, they didn’t have time to complain about the price of eggs. (Barry Sackin, Murrieta, Calif.)
Second runner-up:
He’s so obnoxious, he brings his own putter on a date for mini-golf. (Roy Ashley, Washington, D.C.)
First runner-up:
Ron DeSantis is so slimy, his 23andMe results say his great-great-great-grandparents were okra. (Judy Freed, Deerfield Beach, Fla.)
And the winner of the ornaments picturing three existential philosophers:
My son is such a straight arrow, he couldn’t wait to turn 21 so that he could legally serve on a jury. (Karen Lambert, Chevy Chase, Md.)
These Mentions Are So Honorable …
Donald Trump loves this country so much that he’s vowed to screw it every day. (Deb Stewart, Damascus, Md.)
Trump has promised so much to his billionaire campaign donors, he’ll be making the gravy trains run on time. (Chris Doyle, Denton, Tex.)
Gen Z is so careerist, their tattoos are QR codes to their LinkedIn profiles. (Karen Lambert)
Luigi Mangione is so ruthless, he gives “corporate headhunter” a new meaning. (Jon Gearhart, Des Moines)
My office holiday parties are so wild, the boss hands out annual bonuses at the beginning of the night so we all have bail money. (Sam Mertens, Silver Spring, Md.)
Jeff Bezos’s girlfriend’s breasts are so enlarged that it’s all he can do to be the biggest boob in their house. (Jon Ketzner, Cumberland, Md.)
I’ve hit so many deer with my car that buzzards send me Christmas cards. (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village, Md.)
RFK Jr.’s mind is so twisted, the worm has PTSD. (Mike Gips, Bethesda, Md.)
Rupert Murdoch’s estate lawyer is so sharp that he can split heirs. (Kevin Dopart, Naxos, Greece)
According to my teenager, that rizzler is so sigma, he’s got a skibidi gyat. (Jesse Frankovich, Laingsburg, Mich.)
My mother is so resigned to my singlehood, she keeps asking, “So when are you going to finally settle down and give me fur grandbabies?” (Karen Lambert)
Yo Mama jokes are so easy to make up that the only person in the world who can’t make one up is Yo Mama. (Tom Witte)
At this point, Biden is so unwanted, even the extended-auto-warranty people aren’t trying to contact him. (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)
Biden is so old, when he saw the movie it was just called “Yeller.” (Sam Mertens)
Donald Trump is such a huge ass, Sir Mix-a-Lot voted for him. (Jesse Frankovich)
Kimberly Guilfoyle is so loud that even her indoor voice will shatter Grecian urns. (Stephen Dudzik, Olney, Md.)
Matt Gaetz is so radioactive, he’s gonna name his autobiography “The Story of My Half-Life.” (Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.)
Anti-Trump voters repressed their comments so much over Thanksgiving, they couldn’t unclench their jaws enough to eat dinner. (Mandy Worley, Rye, Colo.)
McConnell and Schumer are so old, their pissing contests are now dribbling contests. (Chris Doyle)
My humor is so sophisticated, you might say nothing could be farter from the toot. (Judy Freed)
Groceries have gotten so expensive that the farmer traded his golden-egg-laying goose for a hen that laid edible ones. (Kevin Dopart)
There are so many clowns among Trump’s Cabinet picks that they’d need a second car. (Barry Sackin)
Trump’s Cabinet nominees are so troublesome, Sen. Susan Collins is concerned. (Chris Doyle)
I’m so bad at following contest rules. I mean, REALLY bad. (Jonathan Jensen, Baltimore)
And Last: I am so scared of Donald Trump reading my contest entries, I am putting asterisks in “F*cking Dipsh*t.” (Mark Raffman)
The headline “So Wit Goes” is by Chris Doyle; Judy Freed wrote the honorable-mentions subhead. “Redoer’s Digest” was a winning headline for Jon Gearhart last year.
Still running — deadline 9 p.m. ET Saturday, Dec. 21: our Week 102 contest for humorous predictions for a 2025 timeline. Click on the link below.
InvisibleInk!
Idea: ()
Examples: (Jesse Frankovich)
Judging: ()
Title: (Chris Doyle)
Subhead: (Judy Freed)
Prize: ()
Add:H:1588: ()
VisibleInk!