Style Invitational Week 1461: It’s the eponymy, stupid
Coin a word based on a name. And Ken Jennings guest-judges Ask Backwards!
(Bob Staake for The Washington Post)
By Pat Myers
November 4, 2021 at 10:06 a.m. EDT
(Click here to skip down to the Ask Backwards winners)
DISPUTIN, v.: To invite a one-way ticket to the gulag. “Ever since the Khodorkovsky verdict, Russians have been afraid to disputin.” (Steve Ettinger, 2006)
SINEMATIC, adj.: Describing utterly nonsensical behavior. “You decided to crash the car because it wouldn’t turn left and right at the same time? Pretty sinematic.” (Duncan Stevens)
SNYDER, adj.: More miserly. “I never met a guy who was snyder with a dollar than your uncle.” (Craig Dykstra, 2010)
MINAJERIE, n.: A zoo housing animals with mysteriously swollen parts. (Duncan Stevens)
Some people wear porkpies, others wear pizzas. Wolfe Geist of Fort Washington, Md., models this week's second prize.
Some people wear porkpies, others wear pizzas. Wolfe Geist of Fort Washington, Md., models this week's second prize.
Here’s a contest that we haven’t done since 2010 — and most of the names spoofed that year aren’t exactly of the hour right now: Lohan, Reubens, Whittington, Rangel, Haynesworth, Fenty. So! This week: Create an eponym — a word based on the name of a well-known person — define it, and perhaps use it in a humorous sentence, as in the examples above by Loser Duncan Stevens, who suggested doing this contest again, and from earlier Invite contests.
Submit up to 25 entries at wapo.st/enter-invite-1461 (no capitals in the Web address). Deadline is Monday, Nov. 15; results appear Dec. 5 in print, Dec. 2 online.
Winner gets the Clowning Achievement, our Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives a plush hat … or rather, a plush pizza to be worn atop the head. It has a bright yellow surface, with red pepperoni circles and various strips of whatever. A sort of Italian beret! Oven cooking is not advised, especially while it is on your head. Donated by Loser Dave Prevar.
Our guest GOAT weighs in on such “answers” as “Zen Jennings” and “Spinal Jeopardy. “
Our guest GOAT weighs in on such “answers” as “Zen Jennings” and “Spinal Jeopardy. “ (Ken Jennings by Carol Kaelson/Jeopardy Productions, Inc.)
Other runners-up win their choice of our “For Best Results, Pour Into Top End” Loser Mug or our “Whole Fools” Grossery Bag. Honorable mentions get one of our new lusted-after Loser magnets, “A Small Jester of Appreciation” or “Close, but Ceci N’est Pas un Cigare.” First Offenders receive only a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink for their first ink). See general contest rules and guidelines at wapo.st/InvRules. The headline “Ask Mandates” is by Kevin Dopart; Chris Doyle wrote the honorable-mentions subhead. Join the lively Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at on.fb.me/invdev; “like” the Style Invitational Ink of the Day on Facebook at bit.ly/inkofday.
The Style Conversational: The Empress’s weekly online column discusses each new contest and set of results. See this week’s — published late Thursday, Nov. 4 — at wapo.st/conv1461.
The “You’re Invited” podcast: Seventeen half-hour episodes, including dish from the Empress and the Czar, and tips from top Losers. See bit.ly/invite-podcast.
And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago …
Ask-mandates: Inking Q's for our A's
Week 1457 was our 40th(!) Ask Backwards contest, in which we supply the answers and you the questions. And just as he did last year, “Jeopardy!” GOAT and (right now) host Ken Jennings weighs in with his favorite entries in the Ken/Jeop categories.
Not surprisingly these days, we found the Seattle resident at the airport. “These are great!” he reported. “I had a good laugh in the bleakest place on earth: LAX.”
His choices? “I’m a sucker for dumb puns, so I loved Dalai Double, Tic Tac Tao, Buzzy Koan and Christopher Guess. And a game show that “only goes to $11” is actually a pretty good pitch!”
And more! “Impotent Notables is so good I want to suggest it to the ‘Jeopardy!’ writers.” But: “The ‘Whiter Shade of Pale’ joke got me so steamed that I knitted my eyebrows together in anger! Unfortunately they’re so blond no one could tell.”
4th place:
A. Zen Jennings.
Q. Who’d always go for a true Dalai Double? (Jeff Hazle, San Antonio)
3rd place:
A. A bun in the oven. Q. What do bakers have no control over in Texas? (Bird Waring, Larchmont, N.Y.)
2nd place and the vintage 2008 Loser T-shirt:
A. Ken Jennings.
Q. Who was the inspiration for “A Whiter Shade of Pale”? (John Hutchins, Silver Spring, Md.)
And the winner of the Clowning Achievement:
A. Six hours without Facebook. Q. How do 56 percent of Americans describe an eight-hour workday? (Jeff Hazle)
Q&A-bombs: Honorable mentions
A. Ken Jennings. Q. Who discovered that dear Watson wasn’t so elementary after all? (Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.)
A. Ken Jennings. Q. Who was clearly snubbed by not being invited to host “Reading Rainbow”? (Kevin Dopart, Washington)
A. Zen Jennings. Q. Who is the only “Jeopardy!” contestant whose heart doesn’t skip a beat with the last “bum bum bum” of the “Think” music? (Coleman Glenn, Huntingdon Valley, Pa.)
A. Zen Jennings Q. Who encourages the “Jeopardy!” audience to applaud with one hand? (Pia Palamidessi, Cumberland, Md.)
A. Zen Jennings Q. Whose game show rival is Buzzy Koan? (William Kennard, Arlington, Va.; Mike Gips, Bethesda, Md.)
A. Zen Jennings Q. Who is the all time winner on the game show Tic Tac Tao? (Mike Gips)
A. Zen Jennings. Q. Who’s going to guest-host “Satori Night Live”? (Rob Huffman, Fredericksburg, Va.)
A. Zen Jennings Q. Who has prize winnings up the yin-yang? (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)
A. Not a Future “Jeopardy!” Category. Q. What is Impotent Notables? (Terri Berg Smith, Rockville, Md.)
A. Not a Future “Jeopardy!” Category. Q What is Famous Pictures of Muhammad? (Bird Waring, Larchmont, N.Y.)
A. Not a Future “Jeopardy!” Category. Q. What is Ex-Executive Producers? (Amanda Yanovitch, Midlothian, Va.)
A. Not a Future “Jeopardy!” Category. What is Rhymes With Schmorange? (Art Grinath, Takoma Park, Md.)
A. Not a Future “Jeopardy!” Category. Q. What is “Cardi B’s Favorite Euphemisms?” (Lee Graham, Rockville, Md.)
A. Spinal Jeopardy. Q. On what show does the prize money only go to $11? (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.)
A. Spinal Jeopardy. Q. Which movie stars Christopher Guess? (Jesse Rifkin, Arlington, Va.)
A. Spinal Jeopardy. Q. What is a good reason for sitting out with “the twisties?” (John Conti, Norfolk, Mass.)
A. Spinal Jeopardy. Q. In what round did Ken Jennings snicker when he had to say “coccyx”? (Stephen Dudzik, Olney, Md.)
A. Spinal Jeopardy. Q. In what game show do contestants just answer back? (Kevin Dopart)
A. 3½ Pounds. Q. How much did Prince William spend on a baby gift for his niece Lilibet? (Fred Shuback, Silver Spring, Md.)
A. 3½ Pounds. Q. How big is a pound cake in Texas? (Daniel Galef, Tallahassee)
A. 3½ Pounds. Q. How many animal shelters did it take to house Clifford the Big Red Dog? (Bob Kruger, Rockville, Md.)
A. 3½ Pounds. Q. What is Boris Johnson’s annual hair care budget? (Bird Waring)
A. 3½ Pounds. Q. What do Nicki Minaj’s cousin’s friend’s testicles weigh? (Chris Doyle, Denton, Tex.)
A. 3½ Pounds. Q. When hanging a photo in your apartment, what does it take to drive a nail right through your neighbor’s wall? (Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.)
A. 3½ Pounds. Q. What amount of diaper contents might tip off your spouse that you spent the day watching football instead of the baby? (John Hutchins)
A. 3½ Pounds. Q. How much did TFG lose before he declared it the biggest weight loss in the history of the country? (Dan Helming, Whitemarsh, Pa.)
A. Six hours without Facebook. Q. What is the best thing about undergoing triple-bypass surgery? (Jonathan Jensen, Baltimore)
A. Six hours without Facebook Q. What is the punishment for parents who don’t obey their children? (Pia Palamidessi)
A. Six hours without Facebook. Q. What is 18 hours short of the recommended daily allowance? (Chris Doyle)
A. Such a stupid question. Q. What does “that’s a good question” actually mean? (Joseph Horgan, Kensington, a First Offender)
A. A self-driving pogo stick. Q. What should Dolly Parton not choose as her new vehicle? (Andy Promisel, Fairfax)
A. A self-driving pogo stick. Q. What’s good for trips requiring just a short hop? (Jeff Contompasis)
A. A self-driving pogo stick. Q. What will the presidential limousine look like if AOC gets elected to the White House? (Ira Allen, Bethesda)
A. 30,000 steps. Q. What does the phrase “some assembly required” mean? (Marli Melton, Carmel Valley, Calif.)
A. 30,000 steps. Q. Approximately how long is a broken Metro escalator? (Duncan Stevens)
A. 30,000 steps. Q. What’s involved in the new GOP voting rules? (Karen Golden, Prince Frederick, Md.)
A. John Jacob Jingleheimer Fudd. Q. What is the full name of the rapper known as J-Fu? (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village)
A. John Jacob Jingleheimer Fudd. Q. Whose name twips people up as much as mine does? (Jeff Contompasis)
A. A bun in the oven. Q. How did the original draft of “Peter Rabbit” end? (Dave Savolaine, Silver Spring; Duncan Stevens)
A. A bun in the oven. Q. What was Sara Lee surprised to find after a visit from the Pillsbury Doughboy? (Ward Kay, Vienna, Va.)
A. Still a Googlenope. Q. What is “Mike Pence’s pizazz”? (Mike Gips; it and the entries below are, at least until now, Googlenopes — Googling them within quotes yielded no hits)
A. Still a Googlenope Q. “What is “tarantula figure skating”? (Paul Eakin, Fredericksburg, Va., a First Offender)
A. Still a Googlenope. Q. What is “Ted Cruz does not look like an undertaker”? (Leif Picoult, Rockville, Md.)
A. Curry Spice. Q. What aftershave did Gene Weingarten wear on his date with Padma Lakshmi? (Frank Mann, Washington)
A. Curry Spice. Q. What is Gene Weingarten’s stripper name? (Lee Graham)
A. Curry Spice. Q. Who is the Artist Formerly Known as A Complex Mix of Turmeric, Cumin, Coriander, Ginger and Chile Pepper Spice? (Stephen Dudzik)
A. Curry Spice. Q. What do Indian takeout orders and Washington Post takeout orders have in common? (Pia Palamidessi)
Two contests still running — deadline Monday, Nov. 8, for both: Week 1459 (wapo.st/enter-invite-1459): Write song lyrics in the first person “for” some particular person; Week 1460: Write a short poem using one of the new dictionary words we supplied (wapo.st/enter-invite-1460).
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