Style Invitational Week 1434: Go ahead, mate my bay
This year’s inking Triple Crown ‘foal’ names — and now, the ‘grandfoal’ contest
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(Bob Staake for The Washington Post)
April 29, 2021 at 9:51 a.m. EDT
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(Click here to skip down to this year’s winning “foals”)
Now let’s take another gallop around the track for some pun-on-pun action, as we’ve done every year since 2006: This week: “Breed” any two of this week’s inking foal names and name the “grandfoal.” As always, the names may not exceed 18 characters including spaces, but one or more characters may be numerals, punctuation marks or other symbols. You may run words together, but the name should be easy to read. Use the format Name A x Name B = Grandfoal, as on this page. See this week’s entry form for a few more formatting tips.
Submit up to 25 entries at wapo.st/enter-invite-1434 (no capitals in the Web address). Deadline is Monday, May 10; results appear May 30 in print, May 27 online. An alphabetized list of this week’s horses appears at the bottom of this page.
Drown your second-place sorrows with this vintage Derby souvenir glass.
Drown your second-place sorrows with this vintage Derby souvenir glass.
Winner gets the Clowning Achievement, our Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives a genuine souvenir mint julep glass from the 1983 Kentucky Derby (winner: Sunny’s Halo, progeny of Halo x Mostly Sunny; obviously Losers were not involved in the naming). Hey, I’ll also take better names for Halo x Mostly Sunny! And the ones in the intro to the results.
Other runners-up win their choice of our “For Best Results, Pour Into Top End” Loser Mug or our “Whole Fools” Grossery Bag. Honorable mentions get one of our lusted-after Loser magnets, “No ’Bility” or “Punderachiever.” First Offenders receive only a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink for their first ink). See general contest rules and guidelines at wapo.st/InvRules. The headline “Horse Jestnuts” was submitted independently by Great Minds Tom Witte, Jesse Frankovich and Chris Doyle; Sarah Walsh wrote the honorable-mentions subhead. Join the Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at on.fb.me/invdev; “like” the Style Invitational Ink of the Day at bit.ly/inkofday; and follow @StyleInvite on Twitter.
The Style Conversational: The Empress’s weekly online column discusses each new contest and set of results. This week, published late afternoon, April 29, some stats about the 3,834 entries to Week 1430. See wapo.st/conv1434.
And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . .
Horse jestnuts: Inking foal names from Week 1430
In Week 1430 — the biggest Style Invitational contest of the year — we once again supplied a list of 100 of the horses nominated for this year’s Kentucky Derby and other Triple Crown races, and asked you to “breed” any two names and name the “foal.” Submitted too frequently among the 3,834 entries: Gershwin x Big Fish = Porgy and Bass; Overtook x Helium = Passed Gas.
Count Tolstoy x Uno = War and Pizza (Rob Wolf, Gaithersburg, Md.)
Like the King x Breadman = Elvis Pretzely (Bernard Brink, Cleveland, Mo.)
and the book ‘Walter the Farting Dog’:
Troubadour x Chaos Reigns = Widespread Luting (Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park, Md.)
And the winner of the Clowning Achievement:
One Fast Cat x Soup and Sandwich = Usain BLT (Matt Monitto, Bristol, Conn.)
Win, place, no: Honorable mentions
Troubadour x Known Agenda = Rhymer Reason (Lawrence McGuire, Waldorf, Md.)
Royal Tryst x Savile Row = Lorde & Tailor (Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.)
Essential Quality x Swing Low = Pith & Pendulum (Ellen Raphaeli, Falls Church, Va.)
Affable x I Am the Law = Friendly FOIA (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.)
Helium x Beep Beep = Ballooney Tunes (Rivka Liss-Levinson, Washington)
Beep Beep x By George = Clooney Tunes (Fred Shuback, Silver Spring, Md.)
Affable x Risk Taking = Genial Herpes (Timothy D. Watts, Great Falls, Md.)
Beep Beep x Hidden Stash = Wile E. Peyote (J.J. Gertler, Alexandria, Va.; Brent and Elizabeth McBurney, Alexandria, Va.)
O Besos x Big Lake = Lip Loch (Kevin Dopart, Washington) [“Besos” means “kisses” in Spanish]
Gershwin x O Besos = Porgy and Buss (Pamela Love, Columbia, Md.)
By George x Untreated = She’s Got It! (Mary McNamara, Washington)
Highly Motivated x Big Fish = Carp Diem (Rob Huffman, Fredericksburg, Va.; Larry Rifkin, Glastonbury, Conn.)
Never Surprised x Chaos Reigns = No Duh Rioty (Susan Geariety, Menifee, Calif.)
Cantata x Defunded = Can’tata (Sarah Walsh, Rockville, Md.)
Outasite x Chaos Reigns = Outamind (Drew Bennett, West Plains, Mo.)
Chaos Reigns x Soup and Sandwich = Capital BLTway (Jeff Shirley, Richmond, Va.)
Federal Bureau x Classier = J Edgar Louvre (Jon Gearhart, Des Moines)
Federal Bureau x Whole Shebang = J Edgar Oeuvre (Malcolm Fleschner, Palo Alto, Calif.)
Harvard x Classier = School Near Boston (Michael Doyle, Arlington, Va., a First Offender)
Defeater x Ubiquitous = It’s All Over (Danielle Nowlin, Fairfax Station, Va.; John O’Byrne, Dublin, Ireland)
Brooklyn Strong x Circumvent = Dodger (Bernard Brink)
O Besos x Defunded = 0 Pesos (Laurie Brink, Mineola, N.Y.)
Fly Like an Eagle x Midnight Bourbon = Fly Like an Emu (George Smith, Frederick, Md.)
Gershwin X Defunded = Rhapsody in Red (Ward Kay, Vienna, Va.)
Gershwin x Hush of a Storm = Rhapsody Blew In (Bruce Carlson, Alexandria, Va.)
Gershwin x Proxy = Replaceable You (Duncan Stevens)
One Fast Cat x Greatest Honour = Zoomer Cum Laude (Chris Doyle, Denton, Tex.)
I Am the Law x One Fast Cat = Cuff Lynx (Kathy El-Assal, Middleton, Wis.)
Hush of a Storm x Money Mike = Hush Stormy (Jonathan Jensen, Baltimore)
Rebel’s Romance x Untreated= Clappomattox (Elden Carnahan, Laurel, Md.)
Red Flag x Untreated = Hammer and Sicko (Matt Monitto)
Swing Low x Royal Tryst = Suite, Marriott (Jeff Shirley)
Spielberg x Sainthood = E.T. Phone Rome (Hannah Seidel, Alexandria, Va.)
Savile Row x Santa Cruiser = HaberDasher (Fred Shuback)
Spielberg x Tarantino = E. F’n T. (Kevin Mettinger, Warrenton, Va.)
Untreated x Tarantino = Polyp Fiction (Mary McNamara)
Gershwin x Risk Taking = IGotRhythmMethod (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, Va.; Richard Friedman, Silver Spring, Md., a First Offender)
Gershwin x Brooklyn Strong = I Got Rid ’Em (George Thompson, Springfield, Va.)
Ubiquitous X Keepmeinmind = I’m Biquitous Too (Barry Koch, Catlett, Va.)
Hot Rod Charlie x Never Surprised = Vroom and Bored (Hildy Zampella, Alexandria, Va.)
Super Stock x Chaos Reigns = Merch Madness (Jesse Frankovich, Lansing, Mich.)
Swing Low x Tarantino = Tango Unchained (Steve Langer, Chevy Chase, Md.)
Beep Beep x Hidden Stash = HonkIfYou’reHoardy (J.D. Berry, Springfield, Va.)
Big Fish x Gershwin = Tuna Piano (Pam Sweeney, Burlington, Mass.)
The Great One x Defunded = Waning Gretzky (Frank Mann, Washington)
Count Tolstoy x Elector = Recount Tolstoy (Pam Sweeney)
Core Curriculum x Tarantino = Gore Curriculum (Chuck Smith)
Sainthood x Gretzky the Great = Saint Hat Trick (Jonathan Jensen)
Moonlite Strike x Gretzky the Great = Whacks and Wayne (Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.; Pam Sweeney)
Fly Like an Eagle x Stayin’ Out Late = TimeKeepsOnSlippin (Laura Clairmont, Venice, Fla.)
Big Fish x Hold the Salsa = Marlin Blando (Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase, Md.)
I Am the Law x Hold the Salsa = Mild Bill Hickok (Laurie Brink)
I Am the Law x Hold the Salsa = Wyatt Urp (George Thompson)
Soup and Sandwich x Hyperfocus = Mmph! Talk Later (Joanne Free, Clifton, Va.)
Joe Man Joe x Pickin’ Time = Joe Ban Jo (Bernard Brink; Mike Hammer, Arlington, Va.)
Petruchio x Hidden Stash = TamingOfTheShroom (Bill Smith, Reston, Va.)
Santa Cruiser x Joe Man Joe = Polar Espresso (Matt Monitto)
By George x Overtook = Bye, George (Duncan Stevens)
Tarantino x Big Lake = Pulp Fishin’ (Rob Wolf; Lewis Lesansky, Burke, Va.)
Affable x Likable = Bitter Inside (John Folse, Bryans Road, Md.)
Outasite x Untreated = Parasite (Nancy Della Rovere, Silver Spring; Steve Honley, Washington)
Spielberg x Savile Row = Clothes Encounters (Jonathan Hardis, Gaithersburg, Md.; Mia Wyatt, Ellicott City, Md.; Mary McNamara)
Big Lake x Defunded = On Pyrite Pond (Lee Graham, Rockville, Md.)
Hyperfocus x Arabian Prince: In Tents (John O’Byrne)
Breadman x Arabian Prince: CruMBS (Kevin Dopart)
Money Mike x Defunded = Mike (Todd DeLap, Fairfax, Va.; Jeff Normandin, York, Maine, a First Offender; Jeff Shirley)
Still running — deadline Monday night, May 3: Our recurring Questionable Journalism contest. See wapo.st/invite1433.
-And!!! Are you starting to see cicadas? Keep an eye out for next week’s contest.
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The “foals” to use for the Week 1434 grandfoal contest:
E. F’n T.
E.T. Phone Rome
Fly Like an Emu
Hammer and Sicko
I Got Rid ’Em
I’m Biquitous Too
It’s All Over
J Edgar Louvre
J Edgar Oeuvre
Joe Ban Jo
Lorde & Tailor
Mild Bill Hickok
Mmph! Talk Later
No Duh Rioty
On Pyrite Pond
Pith & Pendulum
Porgy and Bass
Porgy and Buss
Rhapsody Blew In
Rhapsody in Red
Saint Hat Trick
School Near Boston
She’s Got It!
Vroom and Bored
War and Pizza
Whacks and Wayne
Wile E. Peyote
Zoomer Cum Laude
Bonus: You can also come up with a better name for Halo x Mostly Sunny than Sunny’s Halo, winner of the 1983 Kentucky Derby.