Style Invitational Week 1430: Back to racing speed with our annual foal contest
Pun for the Roses in our biggest week of the year. Plus winning plays on headlines.
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(Bob Staake for The Washington Post)
By
Pat Myers
April 1, 2021 at 10:06 a.m. EDT

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(Click here to skip down to the winning bank headlines)

“Breed” DEFEATER with UNO
and name the foal WE ONE!

Santa Cruiser x Tarantino = Slay

Warrant x Count Tolstoy = Warrant Peace

As we warily squint toward some light that we think we might see at the end of the tunnel, The Style Invitational returns to its regular schedule of annual horse name “breeding” contests, after the Kentucky Derby was postponed last year to September from its usual first Saturday in May. Year after year, this contest proves to be our most popular, drawing some 4,000 pun-soaked entries to a delightedly overwhelmed Empress.

This week: At the bottom of this page is a list of 100 of the horses nominated for the 2021 Triple Crown races: the Kentucky Derby, Preakness Stakes and Belmont Stakes. “Breed” any two names and name the “foal” to humorously play off both parents’ names, as in the examples above. (Yes, we know they’re almost all male. We do not care.)

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As in actual thoroughbred racing, a name may not exceed 18 characters including spaces, but those characters may include punctuation and numerals. You may run words together to save space, but the name should be easy to read.

Please write entries in the format of the second and third example above, and note the formatting instructions on this week’s entry form. They’re easy but essential if you would like The Overwhelmed E to gaze upon your cleverness after she sorts the entries alphabetically.

Submit up to 25 entries at wapo.st/enter-invite-1430 (no capitals in the Web address). Deadline is Monday, April 12; results appear May 2 in print, April 29 online.

Winner gets the Clowning Achievement, our Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives a handsome hardcover copy of “Walter the Farting Dog,” the classic picture book about the chronically flatulent pooch who saves the day when burglars come in and . . . you know. Donated by 84-time Loser Pie (as in Cutie) Snelson.

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Other runners-up win their choice of our “For Best Results, Pour Into Top End” Loser Mug or our “Whole Fools” Grossery Bag. Honorable mentions get one of our lusted-after Loser magnets, “No ’Bility” or “Punderachiever.” First Offenders receive only a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink for their first ink). See general contest rules and guidelines at wapo.st/InvRules. The headline “Head Games” was submitted by both Dave Prevar and Jeff Contompasis; Kevin Dopart, Chris Doyle and Tom Witte each sent in the honorable-mentions subhead. Join the lively Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at on.fb.me/invdev; “like” the Style Invitational Ink of the Day on Facebook at bit.ly/inkofday; and follow @StyleInvite on Twitter.

The Style Conversational: The Empress’s weekly online column discusses each new contest and set of results. Especially if you’re new to the foal contest, see this week’s — published late afternoon Thursday, April 1 — at wapo.st/conv1430.

And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . .

Head games: The bank headlines of Week 1426
In Week 1426, as she does every year or so, the Empress asked you to misinterpret news headlines and ads by following a real headline with a fake bank hed, or subtitle.

4th place:
Parade magazine: Give Your Immune System the Support It Needs
Bank hed: ‘C’mon, Immune System! Only a Couple More Months, You Can Make It!’ (Danielle Nowlin, Fairfax Station, Va.)

3rd place:
Find a spot for COVID shots
Experts suggest an arm; butts said to slow down line
(John Klayman, Fairfax, Va.)

2nd place
and the cubic globe:
Texans, let your little light shine
Governor recommends candles for next power outage
(Chris Doyle, Denton, Tex.)

And the winner of the Clowning Achievement:
US 45 resurfacing project starts Monday
Former president getting skin peel, de-oranging
(Jesse Frankovich, Lansing, Mich.)

Errheads: Honorable mentions
Four steps to ease covid patients back to exercise
After couple days of that, try moving up to five steps (Jesse Frankovich)

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Jermaine Fowler seeks a name for himself
How about ‘Jermaine Fowler,’ experts suggest (Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase, Md.)

Administration backs nation’s biggest wind farm off Martha’s Vineyard
No injuries reported as turbines crash into water (Hannah Seidel, Alexandria, Va.)

Auburn basketball could be much improved next season
Washing off months of sweat expected to restore bright orange hue (Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.)

Biden grasped what the media did not
Diane Sawyer’s shoulders long considered off-limits (Todd DeLap, Fairfax, Va.)

Chief Wants Guard to Stay in DC
Biden Pleads With Wizards: Don’t Trade Bradley Beal! (John McCooey, Rehoboth Beach, Del.)

Emotional and exuberant
New ‘Jeopardy!’ category of 4-syllable words starting with E excites contestants (Jeff Shirley, Richmond, Va.)

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The future remains the focus for the O’s
‘We’ll get better at this,’ newlyweds vow (Gary Crockett)

GOP governors bet on bucking virus rules
Actually, they didn’t say ‘bucking’ (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.)

Six lessons to help us move forward
1. Lift left leg. 2. Bend left knee . . . (Jesse Rifkin, Glastonbury, Conn.)

How will the offensive line competition shake out?
Nasties vie for coveted Snarkiest Tweet award (Beverley Sharp)

How to strengthen the defensive line
Politicians reveal their secrets to the fine art of excuse-making (Jesse Frankovich)

NFL sets salary cap at $182.5 million
Also, Congress won’t raise $7.25 minimum wage (Jesse Rifkin)

Study uses smart speakers to detect irregular heartbeats
Obama, Thunberg found to sense people’s palpitations (John O’Byrne, Dublin, Ireland)

This fall, Arlington Public Schools will offer five days of in-person learning
Aiming for up to two weeks next winter (Kevin Dopart, Washington)

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USPS needs more money, DeJoy says
‘Just please don’t mail it to us’ (Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.)

What to do when your unit needs repairs
Bring it in, say urologists (Dan Steinbrocker, Los Angeles)

She found her birth father via DNA. He’s a fugitive accused of killing his whole family.
We put them together in the Washington Post Date Lab (Sam Mertens, Silver Spring, Md.)

Data: trips rebounding
‘Star Trek’ character finds out he sucks at basketball (Steve Honley, Washington)

Here’s the difference between the Democrats and the Republicans
Response Code 500: Your query generated too many results; cannot download (Todd DeLap)

Athletes break out on social media
Basketball stars stream acne eruptions on TMI.com, get 4 million views (Robert Blatt, Silver Spring, Md., a First Offender)

Great apes at the San Diego Zoo got coronavirus vaccines
Popular kissing booth to reopen next month (Hannah Seidel)

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‘Didn’t sound like anybody else’
Music critic tries tactful review (Duncan Stevens)

Civil suits may pry out the information we need to hold Trump accountable
‘We’ve Got Him Now’ Version 2497 to be released (Lee Graham, Rockville, Md.)

Early in Biden’s term, GOP shows the places they’ll go
McConnell, McCarthy demand Republican-only restrooms in Capitol (Chris Doyle)

Going small adds up to a big change
Stormy Daniels reflects on the brief affair that changed her life (Frank Mann, Washington)

Harris faces dueling pressures, expectations
Veep nervous about pistols at 30 paces, prefers swordplay (Mark Raffman)

Idaho men pass giant beach ball 4,169 times for Guinness record
‘Just deflate it, swallow, do the thing, wash it off, and repeat’ (Stu Segal, Charlotte)

Pandemic inspires more than 1,200 new German words
All of which end in -scheisse (Sam Mertens)

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Separate eggs with no stress or mess
Just put six over here and six over there (Duncan Stevens)

Missing out on the full story
How a bank-headline contest has ruined my morning reading (Jon Gearhart, Des Moines)

Still running — deadline Monday night, April 5: Our contest to modernize a Shakespeare quote. See wapo.st/invite1429.

DON’T MISS AN INVITE! Sign up here to receive a once-a-week email from the Empress as soon as The Style Invitational and Style Conversational go online every Thursday, complete with links to the columns.

The 100 horses (part of a group of about 400) to “breed” for Week 1430:

Affable
American Drama
Arabian Prince
Avenue
Beep Beep
Best Bet
Big Fish
Big Lake
Big Thorn
Breadman
Brooklyn Strong
By George
Candy Man Rocket
Cantata
Captain Fantastic
Chaos Reigns
Circumvent
Classier
Concert Tour
Core Curriculum
Count Tolstoy
Crowded Trade
Defeater
Defunded
Deservedly
Dream Shake
Du Jour
Elector
Essential Quality
Fairchild
Federal Bureau
Fenway
Fly Like an Eagle
Fortified
Founder
Freedom Fighter
Gershwin
Get Her Number
Greatest Honour
Gretzky the Great
Harvard
Helium
Hidden Stash
Highly Motivated
Hold the Salsa
Hot Rod Charlie
Hush of a Storm
Hyperfocus
I Am the Law
Isolate
Joe Man Joe
Keepmeinmind
Known Agenda
Law Professor
Lemon Pop
Life Is Good
Like the King
Likeable
Magnificent
Midnight Bourbon
Money Mike
Moonlite Strike
Myopic
Never Surprised
Next
Notable Exception
O Besos
One Fast Cat
Outasite
Overtook
Petruchio
Pickin’ Time
Prate
Prevalence
Prime Factor
Proxy
Ram
Rebel’s Romance
Red Flag
Risk Taking
Royal Tryst
Sainthood
Santa Cruiser
Savile Row
Scarred
Sittin on Go
Soup and Sandwich
Spielberg
Stayin’ Out Late
Super Stock
Swing Low
Tarantino
The Great One
Troubadour
Ubiquitous
Unbridled Honor
Uno
Untreated
Warrant
Whole Shebang