Style Invitational Week 1422: The Collaboratory
Add a co- (someone) to a movie, song, etc., and change the title. Plus UNDO neologisms.
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(“James and the Giant Reach,” by Bob Staake for The Washington Post)
Feb. 4, 2021 at 10:12 a.m. EST
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(Click here to skip down to the winning “UNDO” neologisms)
If Roald Dahl had worked with LeBron, they could have made “James and the Giant Reach.”
Bill Haley + Internet inventor Tim Berners-Lee = “Rock Around the Click”
Gary Cooper + the Church Lady = “The Prude of the Yankees”
This week’s contest was suggested by Daniel Fleisher of Baltimore, who has but a single blot of Invite ink — for an obit-poem for Stephen Hawking two years ago — but clearly a feel for classic Style Invitational contests: Think of a book, movie or song title. Then pair its creator, star, singer, etc., with an unrelated “collaborator” to produce a wordplay on the title, as in Daniel’s own examples above.
The best way for your drink to go to your head -- and around it.
The best way for your drink to go to your head -- and around it. (LCPSHOP.NET)
Submit up to 25 entries at wapo.st/enter-invite-1422 (no capitals in the Web address). Deadline is Monday, Feb. 15; results appear March 7 in print — ooh, which just happens to be the 28th anniversary of The Style Invitational — and March 4 online.
Winner gets the Clowning Achievement, our new Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives the Amazing Silly Straw, a five-part curly tube you fit together and can wrap around your face like a pair of glasses as you imbibe. We suggest using a Château Pape Clément Red 2010 for the best Amazing Silly Straw experience. Donated by Dave Prevar.
Other runners-up win their choice of our “For Best Results, Pour Into Top End” Loser Mug or our “Whole Fools” Grossery Bag. Honorable mentions get one of our lusted-after Loser magnets, “No ’Bility” or “Punderachiever.” First Offenders receive only a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink for their first ink). See general contest rules and guidelines at wapo.st/InvRules. The headline “Fundoings” is by Chris Doyle; Jeff Contompasis wrote the honorable-mentions subhead. Join the lively Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at on.fb.me/invdev; “like” the Style Invitational Ink of the Day on Facebook at bit.ly/inkofday; and follow @StyleInvite on Twitter.
The Style Conversational: The Empress’s weekly online column discusses each new contest and set of results. See this week’s, published late afternoon Thursday, Feb. 4, at wapo.st/conv1422.
The “You’re Invited” podcast: In Episode 10, Mike Gips treats Invite Rookie Phenom Sarah Walsh, who’s been on both “Jeopardy!” and “The Chase,” to a surprise Invite Jeop game. It’s a riot. See bit.ly/invite-podcast.
And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . .
fUNDOings: The Tour de Fours neologisms of Week 1418
Week 1418 was our annual Tour de Fours neologism contest; this year all the new terms had to include the letter block U-N-D-O, in any order. Submitted by several Losers: Undowear: easily removable lingerie.
Undo pressure: “So look. All I want to do is this. I just want to find 11,780 votes . . . So tell me, Brad, what are we going to do?” (Lee Graham, Rockville, Md.)
Undorphins: An intimate dinner with Mike Pence releases a surge of these. (Jesse Frankovich, Lansing, Mich.)
2nd place and the electronic Elvis penguin:
Undoh: To realize you were right after all. (Dave Prevar, Annapolis, Md.)
And the winner of the Clowning Achievement:
Ickspound: To overshare about your bodily functions. "To start the Zoom meeting, the boss ickspounded on barfing up a whole bag of multicolored Skittles." (Terri Berg Smith, Rockville)
Backhandout: Financial assistance with a slap of shame. “Here’s your emergency relief payment, you lazy bum.” (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)
Stoopendous: Astonishingly self-degrading. “Senator Graham, we recognize you for your stoopendous accomplishments during the Trump administration.” (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.)
“Don, U Can’t Be Serious!”: Subtitled “Famous Last Texts, 2016-2021: An Anthology.” (Ira Allen, Bethesda, Md.)
Boos-hounds: What home team fans become when the Houston Astros are in town. (Steve Smith, Potomac, Md.)
Brofound: Sounding deep and insightful only after a few brewskis. “Yes, we drank beer. I liked beer. Still like beer. We drank beer,” Brett intoned brofoundly. (Hannah Seidel, Alexandria, Va.)
Condumb: Discount prophylactic with a hardly noticeable tear. (Stephen Dudzik, Olney, Md.)
Correspondunce: Someone who starts a letter with “To Who It May Concern.” (Jesse Frankovich)
Creshundo: The growing chorus of outrage from Republicans distancing themselves from Trump. (May soon be followed by a decreshundo.) (Jonathan Jensen, Baltimore)
Dadouncement: The old man’s embarrassing habit of saying things like “I’m off to lose a few pounds” when he leaves the table holding the newspaper. (John Bauer, Gaithersburg, Md.)
Donuments: What Trump really thinks should replace Confederate statues. (Jesse Frankovich)
Donut Orifices: Dunkin’s marketing failure before coming up with a better name. (Jon Ketzner, Cumberland, Md.)
Doody-bound: Constipated. “I wish I could have that second helping, but I’m doody-bound to decline.” (Chris Doyle, Denton, Tex.)
Endonube: Someone experiencing their first colonoscopy. “I’m such an endonube, I thought Bowel Prep was a boarding school.” (Bill Dorner, Indianapolis)
Fonduel: Fork-jabbing competition for that last cube of bread that fell into the pot. (Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.; Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.)
Fonduodenum: The Donner Party’s version of Taco Tuesday. Also known as Chitlins ’n’ Cheese. (Mike Gips, Bethesda, Md.; Dave Prevar)
Fondupes: Restaurant patrons who are tricked into cooking and serving their own food. (Frank Mann, Washington)
Foreplayground: The back row at a movie theater. (Jeff Contompasis)
Founding Fodder: It’d be a great brand name for baby formula. (Jesse Frankovich)
Go undercover: Euphemism for bedwetting. (Jon Ketzner)
Guano duty: How Rudy Giuliani’s ex-publicist described her job. (Steve Smith)
Houndini: A dog that’s an escape artist. “Sorry that Max got out of the yard and into your trash can again — he’s a regular houndini.” (Adie Peña, Makati, Philippines, a First Offender)
Iguan’udon: Mm-mm, Godzilla noodle soup. (Chuck Helwig, Centreville, Va.)
In-Doubt Burgers: Always made with USDA Choice mystery meat. (Mark Raffman)
Sin-and-Out: A chain of drive-thru brothels. (Jeff Contompasis)
Innuendo U.: “Come inside and check out the intimate relationship you’d have with our well-endowed faculty.” (Danielle Nowlin, Fairfax Station, Va.)
Produnk U.: An “academic” institution that’s nothing more than a feeder school for the NBA. (Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.)
Loudnum: A drug that causes uncontrollable yelling. “It seems likely that he got a big dose of loudnum at Walter Reed.” (Sarah Walsh, Rockville, Md.)
Nincompounded: Exacerbated by idiots. “Nothing like a call for ‘trial by combat’ to nincompound the insurrection, Rudy.” (Kevin Dopart, Washington)
Nanodunk: An extremely quick quickie. (Kevin Dopart)
Plagueground: Right now, any indoor recreation facility. (Duncan Stevens)
Pseudo-understudy: You, in your living room, singing every word of “Hamilton” at full volume. (Danielle Nowlin)
Pundora’s box: What you will open if you say “Who’s there?” to a racist’s knock-knock joke. (Kevin Ahern, Corvallis, Ore.)
Sondunce: The scion who tweets a video of his girlfriend dancing in joy over his dad’s coup attempt. (Sam Mertens, Silver Spring, Md.)
The Sound of Mucus: Even when her heart is lonely, Maria should not go to the hills during hay fever season. (Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase, Md.)
Thun (d’oh) storms: Sudden squalls reminding you that you left your car windows open. (Jeff Shirley, Richmond, Va.)
Trolling in dough: Sending fundraising emails about “election fraud” while the Capitol is under attack. (Steve Smith)
Undonate: What some Republicans wish they could do these days. (Steve Honley, Washington)
Undownhill skiing: The ultimate cardio workout. (Pamela Love, Columbia, Md.)
Muon Day: Feb. 19 of every year, to represent the approximate mean lifetime of the positive muon (2.1969811 millionth of a second ±0.0000022). “This year, me and my buddies are going to celebrate Muon Day by — duh, how else? — calculating the square of Fermi’s coupling constant with the overall dimension of the inverse fourth power of energy. Gotta say, though, this is getting a little old.” (Neal Starkman, Seattle)
Undoo: To remove poop references. “Were the Empress to undoo this week’s entries, she’d have a far smaller pile to judge.” (Jeff Shirley)
And Last: Pseudonice: What the Empress was being when she said your entries were surprisingly good. (Jesse Frankovich)
And Even Laster: Stupundous: What neologisms that get ink are. Well, most of them. (Jesse Frankovich)
Two contests still running — deadline for both is Monday night, Feb. 8:
— Write a song for or about a job. wapo.st/invite1420
— Write something funny using only words from Biden’s inaugural address. wapo.st/invite1421
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