Style Invitational Week 1390: Same differences — our compare/contrast game
Featuring lots of random zany items. Plus the winning ‘grandfoals.’
One of our newest pair of Loser magnets. See the other below.
One of our newest pair of Loser magnets. See the other below. (Design by Bob Staake for The Washington Post; “No ’Bility” by Bruce Carlson)
Pat Myers
June 25, 2020 at 9:22 a.m. EDT
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(Click here to skip down to the winning “grandfoals”)

A trikini covers your face and two private areas, while a seat at the Tulsa rally probably wasn’t covered by anyone’s private area.

A Zoom wedding ● a CBD pet treat ●the last roll of toilet paper ● a Confederate statue ● John Bolton’s ego ● the Lincoln Memorial ● a DIY haircut ● Finland ● a slippery slope ●Trump’s tie rack ● FedEx Field ● a seat at the Tulsa rally ● a skull-motif face mask ● a trikini ● Angry Goldfish ● sourdough starter ● 2,300 Style Invitational entries ● murder hornets ● an extra-long nasal swab ● a used firecracker

It’s our recurring contest in which you compare ’n’ contrast any two items on our wacky list — but it features some elements that weren’t even on our radar just last September, when we last played this game. This week: Explain how any two of the items in the list above are similar, different or otherwise linked, as in the example above. Most of them were among the hundreds suggested by members of the Style Invitational Devotees Facebook group, which you — yes, you — should join.


Image without a caption
(Design by Bob Staake for The Washington Post; "Punderachiever" by Danielle Nowlin)
Submit up to 25 entries at (no capitals in the Web address). Deadline is Monday, July 6; results will appear July 26 in print, July 23 online.

Winner gets the Lose Cannon, our Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives a gag-gift roll of No Tear Toilet Paper, suitable for playing a prank on the houseguests who, sometime in the future, finally get to visit you, and then will resort to . . . what? Found by Loser Mike Gips on a long-ago trip to Sweden.

Other runners-up win their choice of our “For Best Results, Pour Into Top End” Loser Mug or our “Whole Fools” Grossery Bag. Honorable mentions get one of our new lusted-after Loser magnets shown today, unless we have a few of the “Too-Weak Notice” or “Certificate of (de) Merit” left. First Offenders receive only a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink for their first ink). See general contest rules and guidelines at The headline “The Sire Next Time” is by Tom Witte; Beverley Sharp wrote the honorable-mentions subhead. Join the Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at; “like” the Style Invitational Ink of the Day on Facebook at; follow @StyleInvite on Twitter.


OUR NEW MAGNETS! Pictured above are our new Loser Magnets for honorable mentions, designed as always by the Ever More Famous Bob Staake. They’re only the size of a business card, but the Empress orders only 500 of each design, and so it’s really a limited-edition Staake print. And no, they’re not for sale: You gotta play to lose. “Punderachiever” got ink for Danielle Nowlin in our 2015 contest for magnet ideas; “No ’Bility” was suggested to the E a few months ago by Bruce Carlson when he happened to think of it.

The Style Conversational: The Empress's weekly online column, published late Thursday afternoon, June 25, discusses the new contest and results. Especially if you plan to enter, check it out at

And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . .

The sire next time: The 'grandfoals' of Week 1386
In Week 1386 we presented the winners of our annual foal name contest; the challenge was to “breed” the names of any two Kentucky Derby winners and name a “foal” whose name reflected both parents’ names. And then, for the 15th time, we asked readers to breed any two of the foal names to produce “grandfoals.” See this week’s Style Conversational at for a compendium of “Book him, Danno” wordplay as foals of Hawaii 5-0.

4th place:
Au! Au! Au! x Extremely Average = Oh. Oh. Oh. (Hannah Seidel, Alexandria, Va.)

3rd place:
Discount Mohel x Coupon Quipper = 80% Off (Harvey Smith, McLean, Va.)

2nd place
and the horse hoof motif socks:
Stubble Stubble x Tank Array = Rubble Rubble (Jonathan Hardis, Gaithersburg, Md.)

And the winner of the Lose Cannon:
Avast! Waistland x Make Up Your Mind! = Bulge 'n' Waffle (Steve Fahey, Olney, Md.)

Nixed of kin: Honorable mentions
“Mr. Prez” Is Fine x Avast! Waistland = BLOTUS (Francis Canavan, Reston, Va.)


Aloha, Damn’d Spot x If Only I Had TP! = Wipeout (Lee Graham, Rockville, Md.)

Au! Au! Au! x Joe Maimeth = Gold Man Sacks (Hildy Zampella, Alexandria, Va.)

Au! Au! Au! x Killer Ap = Call a Cu! (Rob Huffman, Fredericksburg, Va.)

Au! Au! Au! x O.K. Boomer = The Midas Touché (Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park, Md.)

Bro x Eye for an Eye = Duderonomy (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)

Bro x Play NYSE = Broke (Jonathan Jensen, Baltimore)

Cat’s MeOW x “Mr. Prez” Is Fine = Purrs Before Swine (Laurie Brink, Mineola, N.Y.)

Citizen Kanye x Avast! Waistland = Yeezy Wider (Mary McNamara, Washington)

Citizen Kanye x Pokés = I’mma Let You Fish (Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.)

Coupon Quipper x See No Weevil = Buy 1, Get 1 Flea (David Peckarsky, Tucson)

Courtier Pounder x Extremely Average = Meatyocher (Jeff Shirley, Richmond, Va.)


Ex-prez Checkout x Fred Austere = No New Tuxes (Mary Kappus, Washington)

Extremely Average x Au! Au! Au! = So So-So (Pamela Love, Columbia, Md.)

Flatley Denied x “Mr. Prez” Is Fine = “Mr. Prez” is Lyin (George Smith, Frederick, Md.)

Flatley Denied x Give It Arrest = The Jig Is Up (Bill Dorner, Indianapolis)

Fred Austere x Top Gum = Gingervitis (Matt Monitto, Bristol, Conn.)

George Smith Jr. x Doink! = George Smith III (Emma Daley, Arlington, Va.)

Give It Arrest x Welles Far Go = Quit Orson Around! (Jonathan Paul)

Gonedhi x GandhiWithTheWind = He’sJustNotIndia (Byron Miller, Cobble Hill, B.C., a First Offender)

Henry Thinkler x Give It Arrest = Fonzie Scheme (Elizabeth Kline, Frederick, Md.)

Hold My Hair x Bro = Barrette Kavanaugh (Laurie Brink)

Hold My Hair x Single Ply = 1 SheetToTheWind (Gina Smith, Leesburg, Ind.)


Killer Ap x Extremely Average = Waze and Means (Ben Aronin, Washington)

Killer Apse x Single Ply = Flying ButtDress (Chuck Helwig, Centreville, Va.)

Liberate [state]! x Bye Bye Blackbird = Rantin’ and Raven (Mike Hammer, Arlington, Va.)

MeTarSand, YouThane x Killer Ap = Keystone Excel (Steve Glomb, Alexandria, Va.)

No Ink Again x Eye for an Eye = Squid Pro Quo (Rob Wolf, Gaithersburg, Md.)

No Mask for Me x O.K. Bloomer = Pushing Up Daisies (Janet Griffin, Madison, Wis., a First Offender)

O.K. Boomer x Extremely Average = Okayest Boomer (Jeff Contompasis)

Play NYSE x No Runs No Eros = J.P. Morgan Chaste (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.)

Shaq in the Woods x If Only I Had TP! = Very Large Leaves (Jeff Rackow, Bethesda, Md., a First Offender)

SilenceOfTheLEMs x Liberate [state]! = I Ate His Liber (Jesse Rifkin, Arlington, Va.)


Toilet Trouble x Oprah Wind-Free = The Colon Purple (John Kustka, Prince Frederick, Md.)

Uh, Houston . . . x Au! Au! Au! = Uh, Austin? (Mike Gips, Bethesda, Md.)

Uh, Houston . . . x Flatley Denied = Astro Naught (Munro Meyersburg, Laurel, Md., a First Offender)

Welles Far Go x See No Weevil = Orson Buggy (Duncan Stevens; Judith Wright, Indian Hills, Colo.)

Aloha, Damn’d Spot x Sack = Don’t Sniff There! (Pam Sweeney, Burlington, Mass.)

MeTarSand,YouThane x No Mask for Me x = MeThane,YouThtupid (Jonathan Paul)

“Mr. Prez” Is Fine x Ex-prez Checkout = Im[PLU#4037]y (Ande Saunders, St. Paul, Minn., a First Offender)

GandhiWithTheWind x Hold My Hair = Where’s My Hat Ma? (Dave Letizia, Pinehurst, N.C.)

Extremely Average x Roomba With a View = Subaru Forster (Steve Smith, Potomac. Md.)

GandhiWithTheWind x Hindon’t = Bollywouldn’t (Kathy El-Assal, Middleton, Wis.)


Henry Thinkler x Hindon’t = Immanuel Kan’t (Steve Price, New York)

If Only I Had TP! x IMHOtep = RiddleOfTheSphinc (Jonathan Paul)

If Only I Had TP! x Man of La Mantra = If Only I Had TM! (Jonathan Jensen)

IMHOtep x Make Up Your Mind! = IDKtep (Laurie Brink)

Purple Drain x Water Mitty = Pipe Dreams (Bernard Brink, Cleveland, Mo.)

Roomba With a View x Purple Drain = Dusting for Prince (Rob Wolf)

Uh, Houston... x SilenceOfTheLEMs = We Have a Lem Prob (Jeff Shirley)

If Only I Had TP! x Single Ply = Not THAT Desperate (Eric Nelkin, Silver Spring, Md.)

“Mr. Prez” Is Fine x Avast! Waistland = Egos Round & Round (Jon Gearhart, Des Moines)

O.K. Boomer x Cairopractor = Whatever, Giza (Jesse Frankovich, Lansing, Mich.)

Madam C. Jaywalker x No Runs No Eros = Outside the Loins (Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase, Md.)


George Smith Jr. x Victor Kiam = Little Shaver (Harold Mantle, Walnut Creek, Calif.)

Toilet Trouble x Make Up Your Mind! = …OrGet OffThePot (Dan Steinbrocker, Los Angeles; Mia Wyatt, Ellicott City, Md.)

Give It Arrest x Bro = Felonious Monk (Joanne Free, Clifton, Va.)

Man of La Mantra x Play NYSE = Om-land Securities (Dave Silberstein, College Park, Md.)

One Hit Wonder x Toilet Trouble = Flush in the Pan (Eric Nelkin)

One Hit Wonder x No Ink Again = Flash in the Pun (Rob Huffman)

Still running — deadline Monday night, June 29: Our TankaWanka contest for five-line poems on current events. See