Style Invitational Week 1350: Find inspo in new dictionary words

Write a poem with the latest from Merriam-Webster. Plus winning

“Hidden Figures” is a film that passes the Bechdel Test with
astronomical colors. “Bechdel Test” is one of more than 500 new terms
recently added to Merriam-Webster's online dictionary. (Hopper
Stone/20th Century Fox)
By Pat Myers

Pat Myers

Editor and judge of The Style Invitational since December 2003
Email //

Bio //

Follow //

September 19

(Click here to skip down <#report> to the winning “balanced neologisms”
from Week 1346)

*As a man, the Bechdel Test I praise:*
*Sexist movies we must fix!*
*Our consciousness we have to raise *
*And stop demeaning you cute chicks. *

Even if you don’t want it to, you stubborn fool, the English language
continues inexorably to grow and change. And few have monitored those
changes as precisely as our pals at Merriam-Webster, who’ve just issued
a list of some three dozen (why not/all,/ the Empress couldn’t tell you)
of the more than 500 terms and new meanings they’ve added in recent
months to their dictionary at . (Some have been
around for years but just now managed to charm their way into the
editors’ hearts.) And so, for the second year running: *Write a poem of
eight lines or fewer featuring one or more of these recent additions to, *as in the example above by the totally woke humor columnist
Gene Weingarten on the Bechdel test, which checks whether a movie
contains a conversation between two women that’s not about a man, as
well as other feminist criteria. Because we last did this contest a year
ago, we’ll also include some words that were added this past April.
*NOTE: *The terms must be used as they’re defined in the new m­
listings. For instance, a poem on “inking” needs to refer to tattoos; it
can’t be only about being published in The Style Invitational. The words
below each have a link to M-W’s full definition; my Style Conversational
column ( , published late
Thursday, Sept. 19) lists the definitions so you won’t have to click on
each word. Or you can go straight to m­ .

*Bechdel Test*
*dad joke*
*deep state*
*escape room*
*free solo*
*haircut * (financial)
*inclusive *
(race, gender, etc.)
*inflection point*

*inking * (tattooing)
*lumberjack shirt*

*pain point*
*rhotic *
*stinger * (movie
*unpack* (analyze)

/Announced in April: /
*bug-out bag*
*stan *
*snowflake *
(sensitive person)
*screen time*
*unplug * (from
*garbage time*

Submit up to 25 entries at **
(no capitals in the Web address).

Winner gets the *Lose Cannon,

* our Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives *Hula Bird, *a
grass-skirted, lei-wearing, uke-strumming dashboard bobble-body of the
Baltimore Orioles mascot, looking generally offensive to a wealth of
sensibilities. Donated by whoever in The Post’s sports section left it
on a table with a big Post-it saying “FREE.” Which by amazing
coincidence exactly fits the Style Invitational second-prize budget.

*Other runners-up *win our “You Gotta Play to Lose”
Mug or our “Whole Fools”

Grossery Bag. Honorable mentions get one of our lusted-after Loser
magnets, “Too-Weak Notice”

or “Certificate of (de) Merit.”

First Offenders receive only a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener”

for their first ink). *Deadline is Monday, Sept. 30;* results published
Oct. 20 in print, Oct. 17 online. See general contest rules and
guidelines at . The headline
“AlphabeteeZ” is by Dave Prevar: Chris Doyle wrote the
honorable-mentions subhead. Join the lively Style Invitational Devotees
group on Facebook at / ./ “Like”
the Style Invitational Ink of the Day on Facebook at /;
/ follow @StyleInvite
on Twitter.

*The Style Conversational *The Empress's weekly online column, published
late Thursday afternoon, discusses each new contest and set of results.
Especially if you plan to enter — this week, we define all the new terms
— check it out at .

And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . .

*AlphabeteeZ: The 'balanced' neologisms of Week 1346*

**In *Week 1346 *we asked you to coin a word
that was “alphabetically balanced,” in that its first and last letters
were equidistant from the beginning and end of the alphabet: a word
beginning with A and ending with Z, or B-Y, C-X, etc. — or Z-A, Y-B,
etc. The Empress received some /totally /balanced words as well: The
best of those was by Jesse Frankovich: *Biwizardry:* Extreme skill in
two things. As in: “A world-class expert at both bragging and lying, the
president demonstrates unparalleled biwizardry.”

4th place:

*Gladjacent:* Nearly happy. “Mom! I’m so glad you called … well, let’s
say I’m gladjacent.”/(Jesse Frankovich, Grand Ledge, Mich.)/

Strumming the uke better than the O's are swinging a bat.

3rd place:

*Buyintology:* Pseudo-religious cult where you have to sign over your
life savings to join. /(Raymond Gallucci, Frederick, Md.) /

2nd place and the 'bathroom piano'

toilet mat:

*Brexity* is the soul of witlessness. /(Brendan Beary, Great Mills, Md.)/

And the winner of the Lose Cannon:

The first lady gets some J-tranq in Biarritz. (See Steve Smith’s and
Roger Dalrymple’s honorable mention.) (Pool/Reuters)

*G7-1 split: *When the kingpin thinks the rest of the pins are lined up
behind him, but in fact they're in the corner having a laugh at his
expense./(Steve Smith, Potomac, Md.)/

Wit's enD: Honorable mentions

*Nausoleum:* FedEx Field. /(Eric Nelkin, Silver Spring, Md.) /

*Eff-You-V:* A Hummer. /(Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.)/

*J-tranq: *The calming effect of Justin Trudeau’s gaze on those who have
endured great suffering. “After the long flight to Biarritz with
President Trump, Melania was desperate for a little J-tranq.”/(Steve
Smith; Roger Dalrymple, Gettysburg, Pa.)/

*Hostilettos: *High heels that are out to get your feet. /(Sam Mertens,
Silver Spring, Md.) /

*Supercalifragilisticexpialidoc-ish: *Amazingly wonderful, more or less.
/(John Glenn, Tyler, Tex.)/

*Hill-gotten gains: *What lobbyists seek. /(Jesse Frankovich)/

/Another totally balanced term — H-S, I-R, V-E, E-V, L-O: / *Hive
lovers: *Staffers who really enjoy a late night in their office
cubicles. /(Mark Deakin, Reston, Va., a First Offender) /

*Bezosexy:* What you’d call a man who looks like a hundred billion
dollars./(Steve Smith)/


*Dorkscrew: *To stand up a blind date on looks alone. “I walked in, took
one look, and dorkscrewed him before he even saw me through his taped-up
glasses.” /(Bob Kurlantzick, Potomac, Md.) /

*Fauxbeau:* Someone you introduce to your matchmaking mother to keep her
off your case. /(Jeff Shirley, Richmond, Va.)/

/*Hippocrampus:* /Brain freeze./(Chris Doyle, Denton, Tex.) /

*Okaysional*: Acceptable once in a while. /(Raymond Gallucci)/

*Irkolator:* A maddeningly slow coffee maker. /(Stuart Anderson, Seattle)/

*JokeBBQ:* Ribs served in some other part of the country. /(Ward Kay,
Vienna, Va.) /

*Lollipoo:* Even state fairs won’t put THAT on a stick. /(Frank Mann,
Washington) /

*Mafiadon: *Prehistoric creature whose bones are sometimes found in the
swamps of New Jersey, many with broken knees. /(Bird Waring, Larchmont,

*Mitchagain:* Kentucky’s nickname, according to frustrated Democrats.
/(Frank Mann)/

*Nerdy napalm: *Inflammatory remarks like “Picard is better than Kirk,”
which we ALL KNOW IS FALSE! /(Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)/

*Oedipol*: A man who would do even you-know-what, if it would get him
elected. /(Tom Witte, Montgomery Village, Md.)/

*Potlick:* A rather undignified approach to a church supper./(Duncan

*Preak: *An oddball who goes to a racetrack to enjoy the infield mud.
/(Kevin Dopart, Washington; Jim Derby, Rockville, Md.)/

*Vuvuzelophone: *The most unpopular marching band instrument ever.
/(Jeff Contompasis) /

*Wonderspread:* Guaranteed in 14 days with the Sugary White Sandwich
Bread diet! /(Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase, Md.) /

*Xenofrantic:* Eek! Here come the tired! The poor! The non-WASP! Lock
them up! /(Adrienne Cadik, Alexandria,Va., a First Offender) /

*Bluffoonery:* A White House news conference./(Kevin Dopart) /

*Galpost:* Expectation that changes when women attain it. “Ms. Clinton,
you’re much more qualified and knowledgeable than your opponent, so
we’re going to move the galposts and demand that everyone want to have a
beer with you.” /(Duncan Stevens) /

*Stable-ish: *Describing somebody , a genius perhaps, who’s quite
consistent and reliable except when they’re totally not. /(Sam Mertens)/

*Potusk:*A city in Russia from which American presidential elections are
conducted. /(Stuart Anderson)/

*Orbán renewal:* Ridding neighborhoods of undesirable elements, such as
universities, journalists, anyone who criticizes you, etc. /(Daniel
Horner, Washington)/

*Bullaby:* What a politician sings to get a baby to sleep. “When we pass
breaks, then taxes will fall, and down will come riches, trickling to
all.” /(Jesse Frankovich)/

*Ménage à un:* Think this when your weird roommate brags about his
“threesome with twins.” /(Chris Doyle)/

*Brophecy: *“I dunno, dude, I don’t think three kegs are gonna be enough
for all four quarters …”/(Bill Dorner, Indianapolis) /

*Troubleshooing:* $130K keeps the tattler away. /(Gary Crockett)/

*Happenis:* The joy of well-endowment, I imagine. /(Ryan Martinez,
Takoma Park, Md.) /

*Kvetchup:* “Ugh, store brand? I’m not putting that on my burger!”
/(Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.) /

*Brexity:*Ill-informed, chaotic and predictably disastrous. “Mooning the
judge prior to sentencing sure was a brexity move.”/(Sam Mertens)/

*Zensylvania:* The most peaceful state. (The northwestern part is so
calm it’s Erie.) (/Jesse Frankovich/)

/And Almost Last:/ *Putink: *The Style Invitational has been infiltrated
by the Russians!/(Ann Martin, Brentwood, Md.)/

/And Last: / *Tantalosing:* Coming thiiiiis close to getting ink.
/(Brendan Beary)/

/And Even Laster: / *Neologisn’tm:* One of the thousands of new-word
ideas providing flooring material for the Empress’s cutting room. /(Gary

*Still running — deadline Monday night, Sept. 23: Our contest featuring
the Congressional Record. See
. *

*DON’T MISS AN INVITE! * Sign up here
to receive a once-a-week email from the Empress as soon as The Style
Invitational and Style Conversational go online every Thursday, complete
with links to the columns.