Style Invitational Week 1315: Clue Us In — our backward crossword
We give the answers; you give the clues. Plus the winning Year in
Preview events of 2019.
(Jan. 9 Los Angeles Times puzzle by Debbie Ellerin, Tribune Content Agency)
By Pat Myers
Pat Myers
Editor and judge of The Style Invitational since December 2003
Email //
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January 17
(Click here to skip down <#report> to the winning timeline items from
our 2019 Year in Preview.)
*DICEY: Your plan for budgeting next year’s expenses on future craps
winnings
* *RIBS: “Our state may be small, but every resident is a millionaire”
*(as in “R.I. BS”)
It’s our annualish backward-crossword: We give the answers; you write
the clues. Or “clues”: The Empress is more interested in jokes and
wordplay than crossword authenticity; she won’t even run clues for all
74 words in the grid. *This week: Supply clever, funny clues for as many
as 25 of the 74 words and multi-word terms in this grid, *as in the
examples above.
/How to format your entry so that the Empress can sort them without
going even insaner: /
*Please write each entry on its own line,* as WORDFROMTHEGRID (without
spaces even if you interpret it as multiple words): [your clue],” as in
the examples above. You can explain it after the clue, as with RIBS above.
Note: This is an American-style crossword,/not/ the British type in
which the clue is a sentence containing an anagram of the word.
This Los Angeles Times crossword ran in The Post’s Style section on Jan.
9; if you like, you can see the original clues
atwapo.st/invite-crossword-1315
.
Submit entries at *wapo.st/enter-invite-1315
* (all lowercase).
Winner gets the *Lose Cannon,
* our new Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives the very cool
— and appropriately titled for us — book “Inked: Clever, Odd and
Outrageous Tattoos”
;
we can vouch for all three adjectives just by seeing the cover photo,
which depicts a blue-eyed human face tattooed onto the back of someone’s
bald head, with the man’s fringe of hair serving as a curly mustache.
Donated by Roy Ashley.
*Other runners-up *win our “You Gotta Play to Lose”
Loser
Mug or our “Whole Fools”
Grossery Bag. Honorable mentions get one of our lusted-after Loser
magnets, “We’ve Seen Better”
or
“IDiot Card.”
First Offenders receive only a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener”
(FirStink
for their first ink). *Deadline is Monday night, Jan. 28; *results
published Feb. 17 (online Thursday, Feb. 14, as our special valentine —
or non- — to you). See general contest rules and guidelines at
wapo.st/InvRules . The headline “Lies Ahead” is
by Dave Prevar; Chris Doyle and Tom Witte each suggested the
honorable-mentions subhead. Join the Style Invitational Devotees on
Facebook at on.fb.me/invdev . “Like” Style
Invitational Ink of the Day on Facebook at bit.ly/inkofday
; follow @StyleInvite on Twitter.
**The Style *Conversational *The Empress's weekly online column
discusses each new contest and set of results. Especially if you plan to
enter, check it out at wapo.st/styleconv
.
And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . .
*LIES AHEAD: OUR YEAR IN PREVIEW*
**In *Week 1311, * our Year in Preview, we
asked you to tell us what “happened” in 2019. In the timeline below,
some of the dates are relevant to the entry; others are just whatever.
4th place:
June 6: The nation celebrates the 75th anniversary of D-Day. The
president forgoes the trip to Normandy, citing jaw spurs. (Daniel
Helming, Trenton, N.J.)
The next best thing to tattooing a Loser Magnet onto your arm. (Book
published by teNeues, 2008)
3rd place:
Nov. 6: Beto O’Rourke loses election for dogcatcher, but his rousing
concession speech vaults him to the lead in Democratic presidential
primaries. (John Hutchins, Silver Spring, Md.)
2nd place
and the Oreo music box:
Oct. 31: At the request of Make-a-Wish, Trump delivers candy to a
hospitalized child, telling her, “I hope you appreciate this, because
the docs just told me you have two, maybe three days left tops.” (Jeff
Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)
And the winner of the Lose Cannon:
Sept. 22: The National Council of Teachers of English disbands after a
violent battle over inserting a comma into MeToo. (Ira Allen, Bethesda)
Prophets and loss: Honorable mentions
Jan. 20: Rudy Giuliani declares that Trump has been totally vindicated
and condemns Robert Mueller for “not even trying to find the criminal,
Individual 1.” (Frank Osen, Pasadena, Calif.)
Jan. 29: At its quarterly meeting, the Fed sharply lowers its rate of
interest in the president’s tweets. (Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase, Md.)
Feb. 3: Trump is forced to postpone a threatened war with Mexico because
Steve Mnuchin’s family is still on vacation in Puerto Vallarta. (Frank Osen)
Feb. 4: The Dow Jones index breaks 30,000 for the first time, then
closes at 7,328 three hours later. People shrug, figuring it’ll go back
up tomorrow. (Jon Ketzner, Cumberland, Md.)
Feb. 11: Post Malone
wins
a Grammy for best mumbled-word album. (Jeff Contompasis)
March 7: On World Math Day, the president states that he can divide by
zero. “I write down a number, draw a line under it, then put a zero
below that. It’s very, very easy for someone like me.” (John McCooey,
Rehoboth Beach, Del.)
March 21: In a last-minute deal, the EU trades the UK and a country to
be named later for Bryce Harper. (Kevin Dopart, Washington)
March 28: Lawyers arguing before the Supreme Court discreetly look the
other way when Justice Kavanaugh, in the middle of an important oral
argument, boofs. (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.)
April 1: In a plea bargain, El Chapo is freed after agreeing to pay $5
billion for the border wall. (Bruce Carlson, Alexandria)
April 14: The NRA announces, proactively, that there will be nothing
that could have been done. (Art Grinath, Takoma Park)
April 15: Ruth Bader Ginsburg wins the Boston Marathon, throws her lace
collar into the air in celebration. (Lynne Larkin, Vero Beach, Fla.)
April 25: After tornadoes tear through several Oklahoma towns, Trump
tweets that residents could have prevented them had they “used leaf
blowers.” (Duncan Stevens)
May 5: The president’s outreach to Latino voters hits a snag when Trump
observes Cinco de Mayo by tossing out jars of Hellmann’s. (Duncan Stevens)
May 14: Finally able to compromise, Congress approves funds for a 3-foot
border wall. (Selma Ellis, Rolling Meadows, Ill.)
May 29: . The new Facebook user agreement gives the company access to
the user’s internal organs. (Art Grinath)
June 1: Elizabeth Warren reveals that she is a 1/64 owner of the
Washington Redskins. (Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.)
June 2: Jimmy Carter announces he’ll seek second term as president; he
immediately jumps to top of the polls. (Jon Ketzner)
June 18: A woman calls 911 to report a suspicious black man lurking in
an affluent D.C. neighborhood, brandishing some sort of trigger device.
Police later apologize to Mr. Obama, tell him his begonias are lovely,
and return his garden hose. (Hildy Zampella, Alexandria, Va.)
July 20: At the Comet Ping Pong pizza parlor, Trump commemorates the
50th anniversary of the moon landing hoax. (Kevin Dopart)
July 22: Melania Trump shows up to the NAACP national convention wearing
a white sheet and hood with the words “I really Kan’t Kare Kan U.” Her
aides later say they don’t see what the fuss is about. (Art Grinath)
July 25: Ben and Jerry’s finds unprecedented success in Massachusetts,
New York and California with its new flavor, Peach Mint. (Ken Gallant,
Sequim, Wash.)
Aug. 1: Last year’s dance craze, “flossing,”
is replaced by this year’s dance craze, “removing ear wax.” (Lawrence
McGuire, Waldorf, Md.)
Aug. 15: Trump alleges that the influx of Cuban baseball players has led
to “an epidemic of stolen bases.” (Mark Raffman)
Aug. 30: The latest Secretary of the Interior curates a hunting safari
for Don Jr. and Eric at the National Zoo. (Kevin Dopart)
Sept. 1: After Melania Trump is mistakenly deported, Chief of Staff/ OMB
Director Mick Mulvaney is named Acting First Lady. (Bob Kruger,
Rockville, Md.)
Sept. 5: After an opening-game defeat in which the entire offensive
line, two quarterbacks, a linebacker, three defensive backs, the punter,
the head trainer, a water boy, several cheerleaders, and all of the
trombones in the Redskins Marching Band succumbed to injuries, the team
acknowledges that it is cursed and will change its name to the Landover
Leprechauns. (Dave Airozo, Silver Spring, Md.)
Sept. 13: Trump abruptly tweets that he is withdrawing U.S. troops from
Wakanda. (Larry McClemons, Annandale, Va.)
Oct. 10: For the first time since becoming vice president, Pence
disagrees with President Trump, stating firmly that the toilet paper
should hang /over/ the roll. (Drew Bennett, West Plains, Mo.)
Oct. 22: Ruth Bader Ginsburg is named the point guard for the Washington
Wizards. (Rick Haynes, Boynton Beach, Fla.)
Nov. 9: On the 30th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall, Trump
tweets: “Tore down beautiful wall! SO WEAK! Shd have built it higher!”
(Duncan Stevens)
Nov 18: Kavanaugh is spotted leaving Ginsburg’s house at 4 a.m. **He
says they were playing “a drinking game.” She says they were playing
pinochle. (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village, Md.)
Nov. 23: After yet another acquisition by Jeff Bezos, The Post decides
to include the parenthetical disclaimer only when mentioning an entity
he/doesn’t /own. (Jennifer Gittins-Harfst, Annandale, Va.)
Nov. 30: Pink Floyd commemorates the 40th anniversary of “The Wall” by
releasing a smaller edition called “Steel Slats.” (Jesse Frankovich,
Grand Ledge, Mich.)
Dec. 1: Melania Trump unveils this year’s White House holiday
decorations, which feature a festive motif based on the Spanish
Inquisition. (Frank Osen)
Dec. 7: News of President Trump’s imminent resignation is sent as a text
alert in the state of Hawaii, causing great consternation when it is
found to be a false alarm. (Jonathan Jensen, Baltimore)
/** / *Still running — deadline Monday night, Jan. 21 — our “joint
legislation” contest. See wapo.st/invite1314 . *