Style Invitational Week 1285: Eye jinks — our googly photo winners

And the new contest: Give us a trivia question with a comically
wrong answer

by Pat Myers June 21 Email the author


(Click here to skip down <#report> to this week’s new contest)

Feeling ground down lately with all the shameful news coming every which
way, the Empress went for pure giggles in*Week 1281*
, asking readers to paste googly eyes on
things and take photos. But of course she welcomed funny captions and
punny titles as well.

First place, the winner of the Lose Cannon:

[Googly eyes on the spoon ends of 2 sporks, side by side: "Actually, babe, spooning isn't what I had in mind." (Hildy Zampella, Alexandria, Va.)] [EJC]

2nd place and the word balloon headband:

[Googly eyes on an onion: "If I have one more french fry, I'm gonna hurl." (Nancy Summers, Potomac, a First Offender)] [EJC]

3rd place:

[Googly eyes on bagel sticking up from toaster: It's just wrong to toast a bagel. (Kevin Dopart and daughter Althea Dopart, Washington)] [EJC]

4th place:

[Googly eyes on electrical outlet: EYE SOCKETS (David Friedman, Indianapolis)] [EJC]

Honorable mentions

[Googly eyes with a mustache and cigar on the side of a man's hand, imitating Groucho Marx: "Let's have a show of hands: Who you gonna believe, me or your lying eyes?" (Kevin Dopart, Washington)] [EJC]

Google eyes on a manual typewriter: "Back so soon for another weeks of Invitational disappointment, Typewriter Boy?" (Lawrence McGuire, Waldorf) [EJC]

[Googly eyes on 2 hydrangeas: EYEDRANGEAS (Danielle Nowlin)] [EJC]

[Googly eyes on the ground, above a leaf shaped like lips (Jeff Shirley, Richmond)] [EJC]

[Googly eyes on a chainlink fence in front of a masonry building, a door in the building forming a mouth (Mary Kappus, Washington)] [EJC]

[Googly eyes on the eyes of a child, who has a toy bee in her hands: The eyes of the bee-holder. (Danielle Nowlin)] [EJC]

[Googly eyes on the eyes of Mike Pence in an official portrait: The Veneration of the Donald (Kevin Dopart)] [EJC]

[Googly eyes on an escalator steop: Eyescalator (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.)] [EJC]

[3 Googly eyes on the duplicated image of a man's face: Symmetrical selfie. (Ken Gosse, Mesa, Ariz., a First Offender)] [EJC]

[4 Googly eyes on a two-header parking meter: "I thought YOU had the quarters." (Mary Kappus)] [EJC]

[Googly eyes on 2 ears of corn, next to a book about Euclid: EARS LOOKING AT EUCLID (Chris Doyle, Denton, Tex.) [EJC]

[Googly eyes on a naked Barbie's breasts: "Why are you staring at my face? My eyes are down here." (David Kleinbard, Mamaroneck, N.Y.)] [EJC]

[Googly eyes on a leather disk, can't tell what it is, no fishwrap PDF that includes it (maybe a magnifying glass?): "Some days I just feel invisible." (Dottie Gray, Alexandria, Va.)] [EJC]

[Googly eyes on the side of a urinal flushing handle: GOOGLY CHROME (Jesse Frankovich, Grand Ledge, Mich.)] [EJC]

[Googly eyes on the end of a roll of toilet paper: Agggh! I just had my fortune told! (Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.)] [EJC]

[Googly eyes on the O on a poster, "EVERY THING is going to be OK": ... or maybe not. (J. Larry Schott, West Plains, Mo.] [EJC]

And, no, we didn’t forget . . .


*Q. What hideous, snake-haired woman had the power to turn people to
stone with a single glance?*

*/Correct answer:/ Medusa.
/So-wrong guess:/ Yo Mama? *

** *Q. A mother is parted from her child forever in the wrenching novel
“Sophie’s Choice,” written by whom?*

*/Correct answer:/ William Styron. *

*/So-wrong guess:/ Jeff Sessions? *

This week’s contest was suggested by just-crowned Loser of the Year
Duncan Stevens, who gained the title from his fellow Losers by getting
more blots of Style Invitational ink (113!) in the past year than anyone
else except two guys who’d won before
(115! 161!!). In addition to all
the Inviting (and competing in Ultimate Frisbee and running and being a
parent to two adorables and even being a federal lawyer), Duncan
recently joined the online trivia group LearnedLeague, which, along with
the usual awards, also cites the most creative and amusing /wrong / answers.

*This week: Supply a trivia question along with both the correct answer
and a cleverly wrong “guess,”* as in Duncan’s own examples above.

Submit entries at the website **
(all lowercase).

Winner gets the *Lose Cannon,

* our Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives a set of six
plastic golf tees in the shape of headless naked women of Barbie doll
physique. They are execrable. Take them on your next jaunt to
Mar-a-Lago. Donated by Loser Nan Reiner.

*Other runners-up *win our “You Gotta Play to Lose”
Mug or our Grossery Bag, “I Got a B in Punmanship.”
Honorable mentions get one of our
lusted-after Loser magnets, “We’ve Seen Better”
“IDiot Card.”

First Offenders receive only a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener”

for their first ink). *Deadline is Monday night, July 2; *results
published July 22 (online July 19). See general contest rules and
guidelines at . The headline
for this week’s results is by Jesse Frankovich; Bill Dorner wrote the
honorable-mentions subhead. Join the lively Style Invitational Devotees
group on Facebook at . “Like”
Style Invitational Ink of the Day on Facebook at
; follow @StyleInvite on Twitter.

*The Style Conversational *The Empress's weekly online column, published
late Thursday afternoon, discusses each new contest and set of results.
Especially if you plan to enter, check it out at

*Still running — deadline Monday night, June 25: our contest to
compare/contrast any two weird items on a list we provided. See *