Style Invitational Week 1282: Picture this — a cartoon caption contest

Plus ‘A Little Night Mucus’ and other winning ‘grandfoal’ names

These cartoons have been scientifically engineered to provide creative
and greatly varied captions for Week 1282. We hope. (Bob Staake for The
Washington Post)
by Pat Myers May 31 Email the author


(Click here to skip down <#report> to this year’s winning “grandfoal” names)

What’s going on in these pictures? Don’t ask me! No, tell me — since Bob
Staake doesn’t deign to talk to the Loserly Rabble. *This week: Write a
caption for one or more of the pictures above. *Begin each entry with
“Picture A,” “Picture B,” etc., on the same line as your caption, so
that the Empress can sort the entries.

Submit entries at the website **
(all lowercase).

Winner gets the *Lose Cannon,

* our Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives a Special Invite
Red & Green Double Pak o’ Yummies: first, a eight-ounce container of
blood-red gooey-mess Texas Blood Crawlers, just like the worms that make
nice fishing bait except that these are really gummy worms “crawling in
chamoy and chili.” Donated by Alex Blackwood of Houston; /and /a bag of
genuine KitKat bars from Japan — in green tea flavor. They are bright
green. Donated by Bruce Alter.

*Other runners-up *win our “You Gotta Play to Lose”
Mug or our Grossery Bag, “I Got a B in Punmanship.”
Honorable mentions get one of our
lusted-after Loser magnets, “We’ve Seen Better”
“IDiot Card.”

First Offenders receive only a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener”

for their first ink). *Deadline is Monday night, June 11; *results
published July 1 (online June 28). See general contest rules and
guidelines at . The headline
for this week’s results is by Jesse Frankovich; both Chris Doyle and
Kevin Dopart submitted the honorable-mentions subhead. Join the lively
Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at
. “Like” Style Invitational Ink of the Day on
Facebook at ; follow
@StyleInvite on Twitter.

*The Style Conversational *The Empress's weekly online column discusses
each new contest and set of results. Especially if you plan to enter,
check it out at

And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . .

Four weeks ago, in *Week 1278, * we
announced the winners of our horse name “breeding” contest, playing on
any two names among 100 Triple Crown nominees. Now here are the
“grandfoals” produced by breeding those foal names.

*BUT FIRST: *With his five (!!) blots of ink this week, *Mark Raffman
*gallops past the 500-ink line and into the Style Invitational Hall of
Fame as its 12th member. For a tribute to Mark, including some of his
funniest Invite ink, see this week’s Style Conversational at (published late afternoon on
Thursday, May 31).

4th place:

Donnie’s Inferno x Worst.Musical.Ever = *My Spare Lady* (Kathy El-Assal,
Middleton, Wis.)

These "Texas Blood Crawlers" (gummy worms) are just half this week's
second prize; there's also a bag of bright green KitKat bars.
3rd place:

Cashless Clay x PhantomOfTheOpry = *Ali Bubba* (Hildy Zampella,
Alexandria, Va.)

2nd place

/and the CD “Lullaby Renditions of Johnny Cash”:

Absorba the Greek x How I Met Yo Mama =*QuickerPickerUpper *(Gary
Crockett, Chevy Chase, Md.)

And the winner of the Lose Cannon:

Ruckus in the Sack x Nope, Bone Spurs = *Not Funny, Melania* (David
Young, Falmouth, Mass.)

Stable scraps: Honorable mentions

GhoulsOutForSummer x Invisible Ink = *The Ghost Is Clear *(Mark Raffman,
Reston, Va.)

Twain x Rex = *Amtwack *(Marilyn Pifer, Morgan Hill, Calif.)

Absorba the Greek x David Cop a Feel =*Pervious *(Hildy Zampella)

LambdaTheSlaughter x Absorba the Greek = *MuttonyOnThe Bounty *(J.D.
Berry, Springfield, Va.)

Absorba the Greek x The Ego Has Landed = *Ouzo Vain *(Harvey Smith,
McLean, Va.)

Cashless Clay x Gaseous Clay = *Destitoot *(Jeff Shirley, Richmond, Va.)

Cashless Clay x How I Met Yo Mama = *She Took PayPal *(Steve Honley,

Cashless Clay x I Speak Foreign = *Ali Blah Blah* (Pete Morelewicz,
Fredericksburg, Va.)

Cassius Claymore x LambdaTheSlaughter = *Ali Baa Baa *(Brian Cohen,
Winston-Salem, N.C.)

David Cop a Feel x Penn and Yeller = *Lecherdemain* (Mark Raffman)

Worst.Musical.Ever x David Cop a Feel = *Breast Side Story *(Steve
Price, New York)

Donnie’s Inferno x Worst.Musical.Ever = *The Book of Moron *(Jon
Gearhart, Des Moines)

Absorba the Greek x Worst.Musical.Ever = *A Porous Line * (Hildy Zampella)

Worst.Musical.Ever x How I Met Yo Mama = *Lay Ms.* (Rob Wolf,
Gaithersburg, Md.)

Rex x Worst.Musical.Ever = *He Plays Eliza *(Pamela Love, Columbia, Md.)

Miracle Whip x Donnie’s Inferno = *Merkel Whip *(Chris Doyle, Denton, Tex.)

Rex x Fiddle DD =*Rax* (Mark Raffman)

Gaseous Clay x Rex = *Reex* (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village, Md.)

HeFollowedMeHome x Gaseous Clay = *Restraining Odor* (Rick Haynes, Ocean
City, Md.)

Village Person x Jacob’s Bladder = *Peon *(Mark Raffman)

The Ego Has Landed x Jirque du Soleil = *I Am My Sunshine *(Duncan
Stevens, Vienna, Va.)

Donnie’s Inferno x Miracle Whip = *Hell-Man’s Mayo* (Beverley Sharp,
Montgomery, Ala.)

Ol’ Man Ripper x Splitting Heirs = *Chopped Livers *(Ellen Raphaeli,
Falls Church)

Sneezy Listening x PhantomOfTheOpry = *Mucus of the Night* (John
Hutchins, Silver Spring, Md.)

Sneezy Listening x Worst.Musical.Ever = *A Little Night Mucus *(Chris Doyle)

Questosterone x So Much Twinning = *Hormone Killebrew *(Dave Zarrow,
Reston, Va.)

Roamin’ Emperor x David Cop a Feel = *Seizer *(Jesse Frankovich, Grand
Ledge, Mich.; Duncan Stevens)

Twain x Sneezy Listening = *Connecticut Hankie *(Duncan Stevens)

401 Que? x Kodiak Moment = *Dunno, Alaska* (Mary Kappus, Washington;
Mark Raffman)

Big Brown Bare x Smart Ash = *Birthday Soot* (Jesse Frankovich)

Twain x Genital Ben =*Tom Saw Ya* (Barbara Turner, Takoma Park, Md.)

HeFollowedMeHome x Big Brown Bare = *Stalk Naked* (Barry Koch, Catlett, Va.)

David Cop a Feel x Hurt Dateeth = *I Punch Damouth* (Joanne Free,
Clifton, Va.)

Worst.Musical.Ever x Jacob’s Bladder = *No Intermission *(Matt Monitto,
Bristol, Conn.)

Felix and Oscar x GhoulsOutForSummer = *BestFiendsForever *(Lawrence
McGuire, Waldorf, Md.)

Cassius Claymore x Fighter Pilate = *Pull Your Pontius* (Matt Monitto)

Sack x Cassius Claymore = *Paper or Plastique *(Rob Huffman,
Fredericksburg, Va.)

Felix and Oscar x Gaseous Clay = *The Odor Couple* (Jenn Phillips,
International Falls, Minn., a First Offender)

Genital Ben x Felix and Oscar = *The Id Couple *(Rob Wolf)

David Cop a Feel x Felix and Oscar = *The Pawed Couple* (Mary McNamara,

David Cop a Feel x Fiddle DD = *Pinchass Zukerman* (Chris Doyle)

Mind Over Martyr x Miracle Whip = *Thinko de Mayo *(Kevin Dopart,

Gaseous Clay x Miracle Whip = *Stinko da Mayo *(Jonathan Hardis,
Gaithersburg, Md.; Jon Gearhart)

Rex x Gaseous Clay = *House of Tooter *(Judith Wright, Indian Hills,
Colo., a First Offender)

The Ego Has Landed x Punked You Asians = *Kanye East *(Lee Graham,
Germantown, Md.)

Sneezy Listening x Splitting Heirs = *Achoodicate *(Warren Tanabe,
Annapolis, Md.)

X~~~~~~~X~~~~~~~X x Magna Cum Loud = *O~~~~~~~O~~~~~~~O *(Jeff
Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.; Joanne Free)

Absorba the Greek x For Her = *[Greek letters that look as if they're spelling out "maxi pad"] [EJC]* (Jesse Frankovich)

Incubusted x I Got Ink! = *InkYouBoasted* (Gary Crockett)

I Got Ink! x Laugh Savings = *Little Interest *(Margaret Welsh, Oakton, Va.)

I Got Ink! x Invisible Ink *= Fake Lose* (Tom Witte)

*Still running — deadline Monday, June 11: our first googly-eyes photo
contest. See . *