Style Invitational Week 1253: Fashion x fiction — a fake-trivia contest

Plus our Ask Backwards winner and Losers

(Bob Staake for The Washington Post)
By Pat Myers By Pat Myers

November 9

Follow @PatMyersTWP //

(Click here to skip down <#report> to the Ask Backwards winners)

In his original concept drawings for the*dunce cap,* inventor I.M.
Becile suggested it be worn with the opening facing up and the point
balanced on the head. (Bob Staake)

Joseph Ascot created*the necktie *when his wife bet he couldn’t come up
with an article of men’s clothing that was totally useless and still
make money off it. (Neal Starkman)

Veteran ballerinas do not need to wear the usual reinforced *toe shoes,*
because the bones in their feet have become fused en pointe. (Paul Kocak)

The Style Invitational — since 1993 your go-to place for Genuine Fake
News — presents its latest call for fictoids, in a category suggested
long ago by Loser Christina Courtney: *This week: Tell us some totally
bogus trivia about clothing or fashion, * as in the examples above from
our various earlier Invite fictoid contests, plus our artist Bob
Staake’s Own Loopy Mind.

Proclaim your Loserness from on high with this week's custom-knitted
second prize. (Hat designed and knitted by Catharine Mefford)

Submit entries at this website: * *
(all lowercase; note the slightly
different wording from the usual).

Winner gets the *Lose Cannon,

* our Style Invitational trophy. Second place, apropos of this week’s
contest, receives this just-completed and clearly highly fashionable
“Style Ink” knit hat
meticulously handcrafted and donated by Catharine Mefford of Manassas,
Va. Cat isn’t a Loser but is a (duh) big fan of the Invite — “One good
read and I was hooked,” she lamented to the Empress — and a member of
the Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook.

*Other runners-up *win our “You Gotta Play to Lose”

Loser Mug or our Grossery Bag, “I Got a B in Punmanship.”
Honorable mentions get one of our
lusted-after Loser magnets, “No Childishness Left Behind”
“Magnum Dopus.”

First Offenders receive only a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener”

for their first ink). Deadline is Monday night, Nov. 20; results
published Dec. 10 (online Dec. 7). See general contest rules and
guidelines at . The headline
for this week’s results is by Chris Doyle; Kevin Dopart wrote the
honorable-mentions subhead. Join the Style Invitational Devotees group
on Facebook at / ./ “Like” Style
Invitational Ink of the Day on Facebook at
; follow @StyleInvite
on Twitter.

*The Style Conversational *The Empress’s weekly online column, published
late Thursday afternoon, discusses each new contest and set of results.
Check it out at .

And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . .

** *Week 1249* was the 36th running of our
contest in which we offered a list of short “answers” and the Losers
supplied the questions.

Too many people to credit noted that the fidget
spinner, the infinity scarf and Cher all seem to go on forever, and that
something Whole Foods doesn’t have is half-and-half.

4th place:

*A. 280 characters.*
Q. To stave off helicopter parents, what’s the safest criterion for
choosing a high school musical? (Ward Kay, Vienna, Va.)

3rd place:

*A. Mike Pence’s favorite pastime.*
Q. What are cold showers? (Rob Huffman, Fredericksburg, Va.)

2nd place

and the T-shirt saying ‘Don’t blame me, I voted for Hillary’ in Maori

*A. Melania’s left shoe. *
Q. Can you name one of the three ostentatious heels attached to the
first lady? (Jesse Frankovich, Grand Ledge, Mich.)

And the winner of the Lose Cannon:

*A. A fidget spinner, an infinity scarf and Cher.*
Q. What does your kid think is cool, your mom think is warm and your
grandpa think is hot?
(Deb Stewart, Damascus, Md.)

Q and nays: Honorable mentions

Where is the one place in her relationship where the first lady can put
her foot down? (Ralph Nitkin, Rockville, Md.)

What did Cinderella refuse to try on, for fear that it would fit? (Mark
Raffman, Reston, Va.)

*Can we get the seafood platter without the crap cakes? (Jeff Hazle, San

What was the president’s tweet right after he accidentally tweeted the
missile launch codes? (Kyle Hendrickson, Frederick, Md.)

Ironically, what explanation has been used far more often since the
advent of spell-check? (Ivars Kuskevics, Takoma Park, Md.)

What do you /never/ want to hear a blood bank announce? (Steve Honley,

What the heck is a tyop? (Jesse Frankovich)

What’s the centerpiece of the South Dakota Cleanse? (Annie Sawamura,
Southbridge, Mass.)

What nickname did Donald Trump discard as not being demeaning enough for
James Comey? (Frank Osen, Pasadena, Calif.)

What do they call a guy roaming the NASCAR after-parties trying to hit
on the ladies? (Bird Waring, Larchmont, N.Y.)

What is made to order by a soda jerky? (Frank Mann, Washington)

What is another name for diarrhea? (Bird Waring)

What do you get by doubling Twitter, or halving “Game of Thrones”?
(Andrew Elby, Arlington, Va.)

What is 140 characters more than most people need to fully demonstrate
their complete banality? (John Hutchins, Silver Spring, Md.)

What is the recommended length of passwords for Equifax accounts? (Jeff
Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)

What would double the president’s workload? (Brian Allgar, Paris)

What do Twitter programmers hope will be “enough rope” for the
president? (Jon Gearhart, Des Moines)

Honey, will you pick me up a bag of frozen GMO batter-dipped manatee
nuggets? (Bill Dorner, Indianapolis)

Where do I go to get buns of steel? (Hildy Zampella, Falls Church, Va.)

Have you ever had to eat humble pie? (Bird Waring)

What did Alexa keep saying to Jeff Bezos when he kept telling her to
“buy Whole Foods”? (Ivars Kuskevics)

What medical office has two specialists in eye surgery and one in
hemorrhoid removal? (Mark Raffman)

What poem tells the story of three children who sailed off in a wooden
loo? (Mark Calandra, Sudbury, Mass.)

How did the film industry spend 20 years dealing with Harvey Weinstein?
(Ira Allen, Bethesda, Md.)

Hey, what was goin’ on at Syngles Night at Ben’s Chili Bowl? (Steve
McClemons, Arlington, Va.)

What is crossing the days off the giant calendar in his kitchen? (Susan
Kaplan, Tucson, a First Offender)

Congrats on getting that film studio job in the Valley, honey! What’s
your title? (Ben Aronin, Washington; Chris Doyle, Denton, Tex.; Mark

Mr. President, what was the name of your most beloved childhood pet?
(John McCooey, Rehoboth Beach, Del.; J. Larry Schott, West Plains, Mo.)

Mr. King! Larry King! We understand you’re getting married for the ninth
time; what’s the new bride’s name? (David Garratt, Silver City, N.M.)

What U.S. city has had exactly as many NFL, MLB, NBA and NHL champions
as Washington in the last three decades? (Peter Jenkins, Bethesda, Md.)

What city is nicknamed “The Town That Always Sleeps”? (Rob Huffman)

Where do you need a background check to buy a wood chipper? (Tom Witte,
Montgomery Village, Md.)

How far do I need to travel outside the Beltway to find affordable
housing? (David Kleinbard, Mamaroneck, N.Y.)

Of the Vietnam War, Watergate, and Hurricane Katrina, what still gets
the most debate on Twitter? (David Garratt)

What comes after every Trump tweet that starts with “Believe me”? (Kathy
MacDonald, Columbia, Md.)

What’s Italian for “momentary truce”? (Steve Glomb, Alexandria, Va.)

What made the prince suddenly retch when he finally reached Rapunzel’s
window? (Jeff Shirley, Richmond, Va.)

What did my son seek out as part of his “Dad” Halloween costume? (Mark

What’s one way to score a “0.0” in Date Lab? (Tom Witte)

What’s an anagram of “No sex is near in those”? (Jesse Frankovich)

** *Still running — deadline Monday night, Nov. 13: our contest to name
a new medication. See . *