Plus the winning ‘secret inspirations’ for movie titles

(Cartoons by Bob Staake for The Washington Post )
By Pat Myers By Pat Myers

June 15


(Click here to skip down <#report> to the winning “inspirations” for
movie titles)

This week’s results form a lengthy list, but at just a line or two
apiece, they still don’t take up much room on the page. Which means:
Cartoon caption time! And as always, it’s the Ever More Famous Bob
Staake (rhymes with “wack”) providing the drawings. *This week: Write a
caption for one or more of the cartoons above. *

*Submit entries at this website: * *wapo.st/enter-invite-1232
* (all lowercase). *Note: Please
begin each entry with “Picture A,” “Picture B,” etc., and follow that
heading with the text of the caption on the same line. This will help
the Empress sort the entries. *C’mon. She did say “please.”

Winner gets the *Inkin’ Memorial
the Lincoln statue bobblehead that is the official Style Invitational
trophy — one of the last few before we come out with a new design.
Second place receives a piece of history — or at least something dating
back to an event that even Super Doofy Nerd Entertainment Trivia
wouldn’t ask about: It’s a giant-size *“Free Tommy Chong” T-shirt,
*never used but presumably dating to 2003-04, when the stoner-shtick
comedian was imprisoned (for his full nine-month sentence; clearly,
someone failed to wear this T-shirt) for selling bongs on the Internet.
True fact: Chong’s cellmate at Taft Correctional Institution was “Wolf
of Wall Street” Jordan Belfort.

Don't let your chances go up in smoke to win this artifact from 2003-04,
this week’s second prize.

*Other runners-up *win our “You Gotta Play to Lose”

Loser Mug or our Grossery Bag, “I Got a B in Punmanship.”
Honorable mentions get one of our new
lusted-after Loser magnets, “No Childishness Left Behind”
“Magnum Dopus.”

First Offenders receive only a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener”

for their first ink). Deadline is Monday night, June 26; results
published July 16 (online July 13). See general contest rules and
guidelines at wapo.st/InvRules . The headline
for this week’s results is by Tom Witte; the honorable-mentions subhead
is by Jesse Frankovich. Join the Style Invitational Devotees group on
Facebook at /on.fb.me/invdev ./ “Like” Style
Invitational Ink of the Day on Facebook at /bit.ly/inkofday. /

*The Style Conversational *The Empress’s weekly online column, published
late Thursday, discusses each new contest and set of results. Especially
if you plan to enter, check it out at wapo.st/styleconv

And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . .

The Empress knew she’d receive a slew of entries for*Week 1228,*
**a no-writing-required contest to cite the
“secret inspiration” for a real movie title.

Indeed, there were
thousands; many entrants sent in the maximum of 25 entries. She also
knew that there would be duplication; yup — see the several multiple
credits below. Among those submitted too frequently for individual ink:
for *“Bride of Frankenstein”: Ivanka Trump; *for *“Some Like It Hot”:
EPA chief Scott Pruitt; *and about 20 for *“Raging Bull”: Sean Spicer. *

And there were literally hundreds of entries connecting one title or
another — dozens of them — with the president. The Empress’s favorites
among them: *“Sully” *(by Edward Gordon) and*“American Sniper”* (Jesse
Frankovich). See many more Trump-movies at the end of the column. **

4th place:

*“The Company of Wolves”: Roger Ailes* (Lawrence McGuire, Waldorf, Md.)

3rd place:

*“The Lego Movie”: Melania Trump *(Robert Schechter, Dix Hills, N.Y.)

2nd place

/and the 1970s “Losers” comic books
: /
*“How U Like Me Now?”:* *George W. Bush* (Seth Tucker, Washington)

And the winner of the Inkin’ Memorial:

*James and the Giant Peach: *Former FBI director Comey and you-know-who
(Frank Osen, Pasadena, Calif.)

Cut!: honorable mentions

*“Stand and Deliver”: April the Giraffe* (Mark Richardson, Takoma Park,

*“The Zookeeper’s Wife”: Sally Priebus* (Samantha Wareing, Berlin, a
First Offender; Roy Ashley, Washington)

*“The Silence of the Lambs”: Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan* (Bill
Lieberman, Ellicott City, Md.)

*“Dunkirk”: William Shatner* (Mike Ostapiej, Mount Pleasant, S.C.)

*“10,000 B.C.”: Jeff Sessions *(Francis Canavan, Reston, Va.)

*“Girl, Interrupted”: Elizabeth Warren

Mindes, Rockville, Md., a First Offender; Seth Tucker)

*“The Ten Commandments,” “The Passion of the Christ” and “Gandhi”:
Donald Trump, of course* — R. Giuliani, New York (Seth Tucker)

*“Dodge City”: Sean Spicer* (John Hutchins, Silver Spring, Md.)

*“How to Train Your Dragon”: Kellyanne Conway* (James Kruger, Rockville,

*“Tango & Cash”: Tom Bergeron* (Lawrence McGuire)

*“Frozen”: Bill Gates* (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.)

*“The Cable Guy”: Julian Assange* (Mark Calandra, Sudbury, Mass.)

*“While You Were Sleeping”:* Bill Cosby (Dave Matuskey, Sacramento;
Kathy K. MacDonald, Columbia, Md.)

*“Into the Woods”: Sean Spicer *(Danielle Nowlin, Fairfax Station, Va.)

*“From Here to Eternity”: Paul Wiedefeld


*“Naked Lunch”: Mike Pence *(Duncan Stevens)

*“Slumdog Millionaire”: Jared Kushner

*(Joel Cockrell, Damascus, Md.; Duncan Stevens)

*“X-Men 2”: Caitlyn Jenner and Chelsea Manning* (Chris Doyle, Denton, Tex.)

*“The 39 Steps”: Charlie Sheen *(Duncan Stevens)

*“A Few Good Men”: The Washington Redskins* (Dave Airozo, Silver Spring,

*“Monkey on My Back”: Johnny Weismuller* (Howard Walderman, Columbia, Md.)

*“My Life as a Dog”: Bill O’Reilly* (Lawrence McGuire)

*“Toy Story 3”: Melania Trump *(Samantha Wareing)

*“Collateral Damage”: Billy Bush *(Dave Matuskey)

*“Drag Me to Hell”:* *Columbus, Ohio, Chamber of Commerce* (John Hutchins)

*“Eraserhead”: Kim Jong Un* (Steve Langer, Chevy Chase, Md.)

*“Extraordinary Measures”: * *John Holmes *(Dave Matuskey)

*“Fargo”: Yoda* (Hildy Zampella, Falls Church, Va.)

*“I, Robot”:* *Marco Rubio* (Jesse Frankovich, Lansing, Mich.)

*“Little Miss Sunshine”: Ann Coulter *(Bill Dorner, Indianapolis)

*“Pennies From Heaven”:* *Joel Osteen* (Lawrence McGuire)

*“The Nut Job”: James Comey *— D. Trump, Washington
*“The Nut Job”: Donald Trump *— J. Comey, McLean, Va. (Seth Tucker)

*“The Secret Life of Walter Mitty”
: Brian Williams*
(Lawrence McGuire)

*“To Sir With Love”: Paula Broadwell *(Michele Uhler, Fort Washington, Md.)

*“Broken Arrow”: John Wayne Bobbitt *(Steven Halter, Herndon, Va.)

*“Remember Me”: John Wayne Bobbitt *(Dave Matuskey)

*“March of the Penguins”: Alex Ovechkin *(Ward Kay, Vienna, Va.; Jeff
Hazle, San Antonio)

*“Sleepy Hollow”: Ben Carson *(Jesse Frankovich)

*“Almost Famous”: That one guy* (David Friedman, Santa Clara, Calif.)

*And SOME Trump-inspirations: *

*The Lion King*
*The Boss Baby *
*Pride and Prejudice*
*Don’t Think Twice*
*American Hustle *
*A Series of Unfortunate Events*
*About a Boy*
*On Golden Pond*
*Catch Me if You Can*
*Demolition Man*
*Pee-wee’s Big Adventure*
*The Man Who Would Be King*
*Believe Me*
*Donnie Darko*
*Leaving Normal*
*This Is the End*
*The Wiz*
*Downhill Racer*
*Inherent Vice*
*Running With Scissors*
*Why Him?*

Still running — deadline Monday night, June 19: our *TankaWanka *(haiku
with two more lines) contest. See *bit.ly/invite1231
. *