Style Invitational Week 1231: TankaWanka 3


Haiku with a little extra. Plus winning ‘life form’ neologisms.




(Bob Staake/For The Washington Post )
By Pat Myers By Pat Myers

Entertainment
June 8

//

(Click here to skip down <#report> to this week’s winning neologisms
from Week 1227)

*Trump got elected!
The keys to this nation sit
In his tiny hand.
But will he be defeated
By the stuff he has tweeted?*

It’s time again for our own variation on the ancient Japanese poetic
form called tanka, which is pretty much like haiku with two more lines
tacked on, for a total of five still-little lines. The Invitey twists
that make it a TankaWanka: a current-events subject and — sorry, but we
can’t get enough — rhyme.

You're guaranteed to be the focus of the party with this week's second
prize (dweeb not included).

*This week: Write a TankaWanka about something that’s been in the news
lately. The poem must consist of five lines of 5, 7, 5, 7 and 7
syllables in that order. And at least two of the lines must rhyme, * as
in the example above by Willy Wanka, a.k.a. Gene Weingarten, The Style
Invitational’s Pooet Laureate. You may add a title, perhaps quoting a
news headline, if it helps the reader understand what you’re talking about.

*Submit entries at this website: * *bit.ly/enter-invite-1231
* (all lowercase).

Winner gets the *Inkin’ Memorial
,*
the Lincoln statue bobblehead that is the official Style Invitational
trophy — one of the last few before we come out with a new design.
Second place receives a prize we’ve given out at least twice before, one
we’ve enjoyed at Loser social events, for obvious reasons: It’s the
*Basket Case Headband Hoop Game, *
in
which some ping-pong-ball-size foam basketballs are tossed into a net
suspended over someone’s noggin by the means of said highly dweeby
Headband Hoop. Donated by Loser Nan Reiner.

*Other runners-up *win our new “You Gotta Play to Lose”

Loser Mug or our Grossery Bag, “I Got a B in Punmanship.”
Honorable mentions get one of our new
lusted-after Loser magnets, “No Childishness Left Behind”
or
“Magnum Dopus.”

First Offenders receive only a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener”
(FirStink

for their first ink). Deadline is Monday night, June 19; results
published July 9 (online July 6). See general contest rules and
guidelines at wapo.st/InvRules . The headline
for the results is by Jesse Frankovich; the honorable-mentions subhead
is by Tom Witte. Join the Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook
at /on.fb.me/invdev ./ “Like” Style Invitational
Ink of the Day on Facebook at /bit.ly/inkofday. /

*The Style Conversational *The Empress’s weekly online column discusses
each new contest and set of results. Especially if you plan to enter,
check it out at wapo.st/styleconv
.

And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . .

*FLORA & FAUXNA: THE NEOLOGISMS OF WEEK 1227*
The neologism challenge for*Week 1227* was to
coin a new life form whose name — in the spirit of genetic diversity —
had no two of the same letter.

An animal called the *turdle* was
described by many Losers, remarkably often as having orange fur. And of
course there was the noisy, preening *trumper swan. *

4th place

*Phickle:* A food that’s sometimes sweet and sometimes sour. (Selma
Ellis, Rolling Meadows, Ill.)

3rd place

*Oldfish: *A critter that has managed to stay alive for a whole week
since you brought it home from the pet store. (Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.)

2nd place and the book about old-fashioned sex aids:

*Ruskito:* An insect that not only sucks your blood, but hacks your DNA.
(Frank Mann, Washington)

And the winner of the
Inkin’ Memorial:

*D.J.T. Rex*: A carnivorous biped distinguished by its diminutive
forelimbs and backward vision. (Seth Tucker, Washington)

No’s Ark:
honorable mentions

*Dogirafe:* The only canine that can fetch a Frisbee stuck in a tree.
(Shani Alexander, Wanneroo, Australia, a First Offender)

*Peonay: *A flower that reacts to dog urine by emitting a mild electric
charge. (Dave Prevar, Annapolis, Md.)

** *Amorel:* A fungus that could potentially burst into a mushroom
cloud. (Kevin Dopart, Washington).

*Begona:* Flower used for breakup bouquets. (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.)

*Crankodile:* A pale, emaciated reptile found lurking around meth labs
. (Warren Tanabe,
Annapolis, Md.)

*Adolfin:* Mascot of the alt-right. (Frank Mann)

*Flounderp:* Dumbest of all the fish. Just look at it. (Nancy Della
Rovere, Silver Spring, Md.)

*Gunviolets:* A kind of daisy that pushes up all over America. (Kevin
Dopart)

*Iowasp:* This cicada-like insect emerges in large, noisy swarms in
four-year cycles. (Kevin Dopart)

*Kremling:* A Russian weasel noted for its tiny paws and orange fur.
(David Peckarsky, Tucson)

*Mesquito:* A parasite that feeds off the neighbors’ barbecues. (Duncan
Stevens)

*Mikajoe
:*
A two-headed hyena that does a mating dance for three hours every
morning. (Ira Allen, Bethesda, Md.)

*Spiceroy:* A butterfly attracted to Mid-Atlantic bushes, now on the
critically endangered list. (Kevin Dopart)

*U-tern:* Bird that flies north for the winter. (Mark Raffman)

*Vladger:* Known for gobbling up its neighbors and leaving a bad smell
on anyone it contacts. (Mark Raffman)

*Yo’ma:* A flower that despite being exceptionally unattractive,
malodorous and oversized, is pollinated near-constantly. (Seth Tucker)

*E. moji:* A bacterium manifesting itself in poop, soft-serve ice cream,
and a face with stuck-out tongue and winking eye. (Dave Matuskey,
Sacramento)

*Bergil:* A small, furry rodent that’ll steal your heart. And your
lungs. And your kidneys . . . (Jon Gearhart, Des Moines)

*Beaglu:* A dog that never leaves your side. Literally. (Jeff Shirley,
Richmond, Va.)

*Escrow:* The avian species that best feathers its nest. (Brad
Alexander, Wanneroo, Australia)

*Felis up:* A particularly aggressive species of orange tomcat. (Warren
Tanabe)

*Pornbush:* An almost extinct species of foliage. (Tom Witte, Montgomery
Village, Md.)

*Ost-rich:* A bird that buried its head in the sand and found oil. (John
O’Byrne, Dublin)

*Pseudoryx:* A troublesome species of antelope, also known as fake gnus.
(Kevin Dopart)

*Rodnstaph:* A virulent yet comforting bacterium. (Gary Crockett, Chevy
Chase, Md.)

*Shyena:* An animal that only giggles, with its paw over its mouth.
(Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.)

*Tse fly:* An African insect and principal transmitter of the
somewhat-less-than-dreaded catnapping sickness. (David Garratt, Silver
City, N.M.)

*Umble python:* A snake that only eats crow. (Chris Doyle, Denton, Tex.)

*Fleamingo:* Imagine how far this bird could jump using /two/ legs. (Ray
Gallucci, Frederick, Md.)

*Wombath:* The latest pet craze — because everyone likes a wombath at
the end of the day. (Mae Scanlan, Washington)

*Funkgi:* Aromatic organisms often found on unwashed feet. (Bella
Portillo, Silver Spring, Md.)

*Girhalf:* April’s baby. (Mary Kappus, Washington)

*Hefalump:* A heavily wrinkled biped often seen in the company of
bunnies. (David Garratt)

*Masturdon:* A lumbering, shaggy-haired mammal given to nocturnal
bellows and preening shows of dominance. (Chris Doyle)

*PACterium: *Organism that dies quickly in the absence of money. (Mark
Raffman)

*Peach mint*: Some in Congress would like to send this herb over to the
White House. (James Colten, Washington)

*Shampire: *All-talk, no-action monster. “I’m going to suck so much
blood. It’ll be beautiful.” (Duncan Stevens)

*Sycolephant:* Large animal with a long, brown nose (Larry Gray, Union
Bridge, Md.; Tom Witte)

*Whombat:* Fussy, annoying creature unable to adapt to a changing world.
(William Kennard, Arlington)

*Tydebola*: A virus that sterilizes itself. (Neal Starkman, Seattle)



*Melonia:* A fleshy fruit that lives in a symbiotic relationship with
off-your-gourds. (Kevin Dopart)

*Parsleigh:* What Gwyneth Paltrow leaves out for Santa. (Rick Haynes,
Boynton Beach, Fla.)

*Muhel:* A rabbi who stubbornly refuses to perform circumcisions. (Roy
Ashley. Washington)

*Dzykfjxqugh’s brown palm civet:* A small, nocturnal Asian mammal named
for the renowned zoologist Thomas Dzykfjxqugh. (Jesse Frankovich,
Lansing, Mich.)

*Still running — deadline Monday night, June 12: our contest for short
descriptions of how a Creator came up with some creations. See
bit.ly/invite1230 .*