Style Invitational Week 1225: The Ideas of March — give us slogans for
the march of your choice

Plus winners for our contest to describe the child of any two people
from history

(Bob Staake/For The Washington Post )
By Pat Myers By Pat Myers

April 27 at 9:47 AM

(Click here to skip down <#report> to the winning “children” from Week 1221)

It’s not clear how much effect last weekend’s March for Science will
have on the current administration — budget director Mick Mulvaney said
of federal climate science programs, “We consider that to be a waste of
your money to go out and do that”

— but one thing is certain: There were a lot of great protest signs.

“Think While It’s Still Legal.”

“What do we want? Evidence-based science! When do we want it? After peer

The mascot of the Georgia GOP? This week's second prize, an elephant
made from peach pits. (Pat Myers/The Washington Post )

“Got Polio? Me Neither. Thanks, Science!”

And a picture of Planet Earth with the slogan “I’m With Her.”

But surely scientists aren’t the only community that can step up wittily
for its cause. *This week: Suggest a march for some group or field,
along with one or more slogans. (You might also, or instead, comment on
the march with some pertinent wordplay.) * Be sure to Google your slogan
to make sure it’s not all over a bunch of T-shirts already.

*Submit entries at this website: * *
* (all lowercase).

Winner gets the *Inkin’ Memorial
the Lincoln statue bobblehead that is the official Style Invitational
trophy. Second place receives a perhaps unique figurine of an elephant
made mostly from varnished peach pits. Donated by Ur-Loser Elden Carnahan.

*Other runners-up *win our new “You Gotta Play to Lose”

Loser Mug or our Grossery Bag, “I Got a B in Punmanship.”
Honorable mentions get one of our new
lusted-after Loser magnets, “No Childishness Left Behind”
“Magnum Dopus.”

First Offenders receive only a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener”

for their first ink). Deadline is Monday night, May 8; results published
May 28 (online May 25). See general contest rules and guidelines at . “The Ideas of March” was a
comment by Loser Diane Wah in a Style Invitational Devotees thread about
a pondered March for Math. “Putting on heirs” in the headline for this
week’s results was submitted by both Jon Gearhart and Jeff Contompasis;
the honorable-mentions subhead is by Jesse Frankovich. Join the Style
Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at /
./ “Like” Style Invitational Ink of the Day on
Facebook at / /

*The Style Conversational *The Empress’s weekly online column, published
late Thursday afternoon, discusses each new contest and set of results.
Especially if you plan to enter, check it out at

And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . .

In *Week 1221 * we asked you to muse upon
what the offspring of any two people through history (or fiction) — this
time including same-sex couples — would be like.

4th place

The child of *Michelangelo and Banksy
*would paint the outside of the
Sistine Chapel.
(Tom Witte, Montgomery Village, Md.)

3rd place

The child of *Donald Trump and Steve Jobs *would be happy to grab your PC.
(Chris Doyle, Denton, Tex.)

2nd place and the animatronic chipmunk:

Fifty percent of people would love the child of *Ray Romano and Ted Cruz.
* (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.)

And the winner of the Inkin’ Memorial:

The child of *Paul Simon and Henry VIII *could recommend 51 ways to
leave your lover.
(Dave Matuskey, Sacramento)

Bland parenthood: honorable mentions

The child of *William the Conqueror and John James Audubon *would
publish the Victorious Egret catalogue. (Dudley Thompson, Cary, N.C.)

The child of *Benito Mussolini and Britney Spears *would be a train
wreck that runs on time. (Jim Derby, Rockville, Md.)

The child of *Paul Ryan and Bob Vila *would tear out all your plumbing
fixtures, put an outhouse in your backyard, and call it a huge
improvement. (Duncan Stevens)

The child of *Jared Kushner and Caitlyn Jenner *would reinvent the
federal government, bring peace to the Middle East, defeat ISIS, oversee
construction of a border wall with Mexico, replace the Affordable Care
Act, and win the Olympic decathlon as both a man and as a woman. (Roy
Ashley, Washington)

The child of *Manute Bol and Patty Hearst *would be tall, dark and
ransomed. (Dave Matuskey)

The child of *Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway *would definitely /not/ be
named Oscar. (Amy Harris, Charlottesville, Va.)

A son of *The Donald and Elizabeth Barrett Browning *would spend all his
time counting the ways he loved himself. (John McCooey, Rehoboth Beach,

The child of *Paul McCartney and Annie *would sing “Today.” (Duncan

The child of *Mr. T and Gordon Ramsay *will pity the food. (Kevin
Dopart, Washington)

The child of *Mick Jagger and Roberto Durán *would gather no más. (Dave

The child of *Roberta Flack and Vladimir Putin *will kill you softly
with his polonium. (Michele Uhler, Fort Washington, Md.)

The child of *Mike Tyson and Vladimir Putin *would take a bite out of
Crimea. (Dave Matuskey)

The child of *Michael Flynn and Jenny McCarthy *will never expect
immunity. (Kevin Dopart)

The child of *Scott Joplin and Levi Strauss *would go from rags to
britches. (Mae Scanlan, Washington)

The toddler child of *Sean Spicer and Kellyanne Conway* would have to
wear fireproof Pull-Ups. (Ira Allen, Bethesda, Md.)

For the child of *Lazarus and Donald Trump,* death and taxes wouldn’t be
certain. (Jeff Shirley, Richmond, Va.)

If a child had been born to *William Strunk and E.B. White,* they would
be he or she. (Dave Matuskey)

The child of *George Gallup and Frank Luntz *will be bipolar. (Dave
Silberstein, College Park, Md.)

The child of *Marcel Marceau and Norman Bates *would keep mum. (Beverley
Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.)

The child of *Prince and Jeffrey Dahmer *would be a purple people eater.
(Leigh Giza, Bristow, Va.)

Any children *Mike Pence *had with *Greta Garbo* would want to be left
alone, but with a chaperon. (Stephen Litterst, Newark, Del.)

In the delivery room, after the birth of their seventh child, *Ron
Popeil *would encourage *Nadya Suleman* by shouting, “But wait, there’s
more!” (Seth Tucker, Washington)

The child of *Archimedes and Paul Simon *would find 50 ways to love his
lever. (Chris Doyle)

I’m afraid that the child of *Cleopatra and Ronald McDonald* would have
asp-burger syndrome. (Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.; Neal Starkman, Seattle)

If *Donald Duck married Annie Oakley,* their kid would be a quack shot.
(Steve Fahey, Kensington, Md.)

The child of *Harpo Marx and Marcel Marceau *would commit unspeakable
acts. (Jeff Shirley)

The child of *Helen Hunt and Gregory Peck* would be a great actor but a
slow typist. (Jesse Frankovich, Lansing, Mich.)

The child of *Ivanka Trump and Mahatma Gandhi *would make millions of
dollars selling designer loincloths. (Robert Schechter, Dix Hills, N.Y.)

The child of *John Nance Garner
and Gaylord Perry
*would grow up to be a
pitcher of warm spitballs. (Dudley Thompson)

The child of *Johnny Cash and Paul Ryan *would take away your health
care just to watch you die. (Robert Schechter)

The child of *Lucrezia Borgia and John Chapman *would go about spreading
poison ivy seeds. (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)

The child of *Mata Hari and Hannibal* would double-cross the Alps.
(Warren Clements, Toronto)

The child of *Mother Teresa and Don Rickles *would feed starving
children and then make fun of the way they chew. (Robert Schechter)

The child of *Sisyphus and Mr. Whipple *will be a fan of rock-and-roll.
(Larry Gray, Union Bridge, Md.)

The child of *Timothy Leary and Dick Van Dyke *would always be tripping
on the ottoman. (Dave Matuskey)

The child of *Balaam and King David* would have his ass in a sling.
(Dudley Thompson)

The child of *Deepak Chopra and Betsy DeVos *would be om-schooled.
(Chris Doyle)

Sadly, the child of *Julian Assange and Chelsea Manning *will turn out
to be a chronic bed wetter. (David Garratt, Silver City, N.M.)

The child of *George Clooney and Joanne Free *would have a very happy
mom. (Joanne Free, Clifton, Va.)

The child of *Carrot Top and *. . . nah. (Michael Rolfe, Cape Town,
South Africa)

*Still running — deadline Monday night, May 1: Our contest to compare
any two random items on a list we supplied. See
. *