Style Invitational Week 1195: Don’t change a letter! But still alter a
movie title

Plus the winning bank heads of our Mess With Our Heads contest

The Yellow Rosé of Texas, of course. This week's challenge: Change a
movie's title without changing its letters. (Bob Staake/For The
Washington Post)
By Pat Myers Entertainment
September 29

(Click here to skip down <#report> to the winning bank headlines from
Week 1191)

*The Yellow Rosé of Texas: * (Doug Frank):
Waco winemakers struggle to produce a high-ranked vintage.

*The Leg End of Tarzan:* (Chuck Salerno)
The Ape Man loses his grip on the vine, becomes literally footloose.

*I Am Curious: Yell “Ow!” * (Doug Frank)
Adventurous Swedes practice using a safe word.

This week’s contest is the brainchild of 75-time Loser Doug Frank, who
posted a challenge on Facebook: He called it
“The Bad Reader’s Guide to the Movies”: *Alter a movie title only by
changing word spacing, changing capitalization, and adding or deleting
punctuation marks, accents, etc., then describe the result, *as in the
examples above from the Facebook thread (which were posted without
descriptions). *Do not add, drop, substitute or rearrange letters or
numbers. * Note: Even with the umpteen and a half movies in existence,
the Empress is sure she’ll receive a bunch of identical titles, so it
could well be the humor in the descriptions that wins the ink.

That's L for Loser (also handy for mirror use): Kyle Hendrickson made
these stoppers -- this week's second prize -- on his 3-D printer. (Pat
Myers/The Washington Post )

*Submit entries at this website:
*(all lowercase).

Winner gets the Inkin’ Memorial
the Lincoln statue bobblehead that is the official Style Invitational
trophy. Second place gets two almost unique items: a pair of wine bottle
stoppers in the shape of a hand making the L-for-Loser sign — designed
and created by Loser Kyle Hendrickson on his 3-D printer, and given out
last month to those who went to the Loserfest weekend in Pittsburgh. The
whitish one is said to glow in the dark, even.

*Other runners-up *win their choice of a yearned-for Loser Mug,
the older-model
“This Is Your Brain on Mugs” mug

or our new Grossery Bag, “I Got a B in Punmanship.” Honorable mentions
get one of our lusted-after Loser magnets, “Magnet Dum Laude”

or “Falling Jest Short.”

First Offenders receive a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink

for their first ink). Deadline is Monday night, Oct. 10; results
published Oct. 30 (online Oct. 27). You may submit up to 25 entries per
contest. See general contest rules and guidelines at
. “Heads will LOL” is by Chris Doyle; the
honorable-mentions subhead is by Jon Gearhart. Join the lively Style
Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at /
./ “Like” the Style Invitational Ink of the Day
on Facebook at /; / follow @StyleInvite
on Twitter.

*The Style Conversational *The Empress’s weekly online column, published
late Thursday afternoon, discusses each new contest and set of results.
Especially if you plan to enter, check it out at

And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . .

Week 1191 was one of our Mess With Our Heads contests, in which you were
asked to take a headline from The Post and reinterpret it with a bank
head, or subtitle.

Too often cited: a head calling Melania Trump *“a
model of restraint,”* with a bank head about a photo shoot of bondage gear.

The links on headlines below show them in their actual contexts. (Some
of the headlines used were links from the homepage and thus not
archived, so some links show different wording.)

4th place

*Mazda, Ford recall millions of vehicles *

Remember when we used to sell millions of vehicles?
(Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase, Md.)

3rd place

*This time, Kaepernick takes knee for anthem*

Fortunately, dissident player was wearing a cup during assault
(Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.)

2nd place

/and the whale-tail fleece hat
*A government campaign urged Italians to have more babies immediately*

Berlusconi’s press secretary politely translates obscene gesture (John
McCooey, Rehoboth Beach, Del.)

And the winner of the Inkin’ Memorial:

*‘They call it bunny hunting’*

Reaching out to NRA, Obama proposes new event to replace White House
Easter Egg Roll (Roy Ashley, Washington)


*America in the world:*

News comes as surprise to Gary Johnson (Danielle Nowlin, Fairfax
Station, Va.)

*Clinton should stop pretending she’s not elite:*

‘What’s a leet?’ asks Gary Johnson (Mae Scanlan, Washington)

*What ever happened to Bronson Arroyo?*

‘Okay, got it, now you’re just putting me on,’ Gary Johnson replies
(Jesse Frankovich, Lansing, Mich.)

*Breaking North American birdwatching’s toughest record*
Neb. man bores 2,221 people with tales of rare sightings (John Hutchins,
Silver Spring, Md.)

*Democrats lock arms around Clinton*

Nominee protests that she won’t need bandoleers during debate (Elden
Carnahan, Laurel, Md.)

*Democrats squirm over Hogan’s latest decision*

Speedo decried as poor choice for Md. governor’s pool party (John Hutchins)

*Focused on the art of the moment*

Toddler working on living room mural oblivious to mother yelling, ‘No,
no! We draw on paper!’ (Danielle Nowlin, mother of three)

*The ugliest, most appalling spectacle in American politics

Remembering Rick Perry’s ‘smart glasses’ (Todd DeLap, Fairfax, Va.)

*NASA craft blasts off on 7-year journey to collect rubble from asteroid*:
Trump: “See what I mean about incompetence? We should be sending OUR
garbage THERE.” (Elden Carnahan)

*Trump, Clinton go to Cleveland in pursuit of working-class voter: *
Voter seeks restraining order (Francis Canavan, Reston)

*No more delaying the Purple Line: *

Prince’s estate finally signs deal with Kmart (Rob Huffman,
Fredericksburg, Va.)

*Robert Griffin III’s debut with Cleveland Browns ends in defeat and
injury: *
QB ‘already in midseason form,’ coach boasts (Stephen Litterst, Newark,

*Get the facts*

Trump’s chief speechwriter fired after unorthodox staff request (Kevin
Dopart, Washington)

*For some, Uber’s self-driving taxi test not something to hail*:

Black clients stunned as driverless cars ignore them (David Ballard,
Reston, Va.)

*A 500 million-mile mission ... to grab 4 pounds of dirt*
Paparazzo racks up distances seeking Kardashian topless shots (Lynne
Larkin, Vero Beach, Fla.)

*The first step: Stop digging*

Cure for Hepcat Syndrome begins with updated language (Gary Crockett)

*Someone has to be first at this, Bill. It’s your shot to be a
trailblazer: *

Hillary reminisces about her third date with the future president
(Theresa Kowal, Silver Spring, Md.)

*Two small words inspired a marriage:
*“I’m pregnant.” (Cindi Rae Caron, Blowing Rock, N.C.)

*The big question that could decide the 2016 election:

Do you want to be embarrassed every day, or just once a week or so?
(Drew Bennett, West Plains, Mo.)

*More than 6 million immigrants could be deported

*Native Americans consider retaking Manhattan (Beverley Sharp,
Montgomery, Ala.)

*Offensive outburst does the trick for O’s: *

Studies confirm that talking dirty improves sexual satisfaction (Steve
Honley, Washington)

*A biography, in subject’s own words: *

Writer explains what an autobiography is (Chris Doyle, Denton, Tex.;
Hildy Zampella, Falls Church, Va.)

*Army runs wild in upset of Temple
IDF’s reenactment of Roman attack ‘not such a good idea,’ reconsiders
Netanyahu (Mark Raffman; Steve Honley; Frank Osen, Pasadena, Calif.)

*Fewer taking Metro trains: *
Thefts decline after operators stop leaving keys overnight inside sun
visors (Andrew Hatzyannis, Rockville, Md.)

*Media bids for names in ‘Bridgegate’ denied*

Suggestions of ‘Chris-crossed,’ ‘Porky’s Revenge’ rejected to replace
cliched suffix (Howard Walderman, Columbia)

*News project wages war on cluelessness: *

Paper rushes to replace dropped daily crossword (John O’Byrne, Dublin)

*Scalp-hunting as sport: *

Snyder launches new league to ‘truly honor Native Americans’ (Kevin Dopart)

*This week, the presidential candidates embarrassed all of us

Record now extended to 53 consecutive weeks (Kel Nagel, Salisbury, Md.)

*Uzbek President Islam Karimov dies at 78: *
Hearse will karimov to cemetery (Nan Reiner, Boca Raton, Fla.)

*A teacher’s daily grind in a public school classroom*

Parents troubled by educator’s twerking routine (Duncan Stevens, Vienna,

*How to cultivate a gripping story*

Corey Lewandowski signs book deal for his side of altercation with
reporter (Frank Osen)

*Trump and Clinton are at that age when things start happening: *
puberty becoming more common (Elden Carnahan)

*Mother whose child was forced to mop up urine says ‘nobody would help’*:
School janitor, 38, wishes his mom would not bother him at work (Rob

*Returning Congress has one main aim: No shutdown*:
Other lofty goals include not burning down the Capitol, remembering
where they parked (Hildy Zampella)

*Some states don’t want midwives to deliver babies outside hospitals: *
‘At least move her into the service alley,’ spokesman pleads (Elden

*10,000 is not enough*

Yet Style Invitational entry limit remains at 25 (Gary Crockett)

*Still running — deadline Monday night, Oct. 3: our contest for fake
origins of words. See . *