Style Invitational Week 1189: Gee, it’s Limerixicon XIII!

Plus the winning interpretations of five ink blots (boy, are our
Losers, er, interesting)

What do you see in these ink blots? Our hunch is that it’s not what the
Losers saw. See the results of Week 1185 below. (Ink blots blotted by
Bob Staake /For The Washington Post )
By Pat Myers Entertainment
August 18

(Click here to skip down <#report> to the winning ink blot
interpretations from Week 1185)

*“Sell The Post to a tech /geek?/ Tee-hee! *
*That’s one thing we’re unlikely to see.”*
*Then along came Jeff Bezos*
*With 2 billion pesos,*
*And now it’s a fait accompli. * /(Nan Reiner, Week 1033)/

Like clockwork — if your clock shows years — we present the latest
Limerixicon, our annual check-in with ,
the ever-continuing project by Chris J. Strolin and various henchpersons
to compile a dictionary of limericks featuring every word in the English
language. Currently the website has collected about 96,000 of the
five-liners, with a projected completion date of Sept. 25, 2076. Last
August Chris and pals were up to the ga- words. *This week: Supply a
humorous, previously unpublished limerick significantly featuring any
English word, name or term beginning with “ge-,” * as in the example
above by Nan Reiner that we’re repurposing from the fa-word contest
three years ago. See *
* for our fairly strict rules on limerick rhyme and meter (in a
nutshell: “perfect” rhyme, and a strong “hickory-dickory-dock” rhythm in
Lines 1, 2 and 5; a “dickory-dock” in Lines 3 and 4; plus “weak”
syllables on either side). See about submitting limericks
there after this contest is over.

*Submit entries at the website
* (all lowercase).

Winner gets the Inkin’ Memorial
the Lincoln statue bobblehead that is the official Style Invitational
trophy. Second place receives a 1911 copy — that’s the date of the
handwritten inscription — of “The Last Days of Pompeii” by Edward
Bulwer-Lytton, famed for the line “It was a dark and stormy night” and
for the annual bad-writing contest that bears his name. Sample prose
from the 1834 novel: “Beautiful Ione!” said Arbaces, as he bent to touch
her hand, “it is you that have eclipsed the day — it is your eyes that
light up the halls — it is your breath which fills them with perfumes.”
From Loser Elden Carnahan, who also includes a catalogue from a
Bulwer-Lytton exhibition in England.

*Other runners-up* win their choice of a yearned-for Loser Mug,
the older-model
“This Is Your Brain on Mugs” mug

or our new Grossery Bag, “I Got a B in Punmanship.”
Honorable mentions get one of our
lusted-after Loser magnets, “Magnet Dum Laude”

or “Falling Jest Short.”

First Offenders receive a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink

for their first ink). Deadline is Monday night, Aug. 29; results
published Sept. 18 (online Sept. 15). You may submit up to 25 entries
per contest. See general contest rules and guidelines at in addition to the limerick
guide at . The
headline for this week’s results is by Jesse Frankovich; the
honorable-mentions subhead is by Dave Prevar. Join the lively Style
Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at /
./ “Like” the Style Invitational Ink of the Day
on Facebook at /; / follow @StyleInvite
on Twitter.

*The Style Conversational *The Empress’s weekly online column, published
late Thursday, discusses each new contest and set of results. Especially
if you plan to enter, check it out at

Look at this picture when you read the entries for upside-down images.
(Ink blots blotted by Bob Staake /For The Washington Post)

And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . .

In Week 1185 the Empress asked you to interpret any of five genuine
symmetrical inkblots (you could turn them upside down or sideways;
they’re right side up at the top of this page, and upside down in the
smaller picture at lower left).

We did promise not to psychoanalyze you,
but man — some of you out there are likely to keep the shrink business

4th place:

*Blot 5 (upside down):* Popeye’s grandmother still enjoyed flying the
trapeze, although spectators wished she would wear a sports bra. (John
Hutchins, Silver Spring, Md.)

3rd place:

*Blot 5:* Kilroy looks a little
worse for wear these days. (Dudley Thompson, Cary, N.C.)

2nd place

and the stegosaurus/dragon hat:

*Blot 3:* “I am the Walrus, and I’m ready to PARTY!” (David Franks,
Greenland, Ark.)

And the winner of the Inkin’ Memorial:

*Blot 2 (upside down): *The OB/GYN knew he shouldn’t be playing at work,
but he was pretty excited to find a Pokemon sitting atop his patient’s
uterus. (Hildy Zampella, Falls Church, Va.)

Blotsam: honorable mentions

*Pressing leaves and flowers between the pages of a book can produce
lovely keepsakes. Not so much with moths. (Jerry Birchmore, Springfield,

/For the rest of the Blot 1 entries, look at the upside-down image:
/ A Stetson-wearing “good guy” double-fists two of the latest multi-clip
auto-load fast-discharge combination grenade-launcher/bazooka/assault
rifles with switchblade bayonets. Oh, sorry. SELF-DEFENSE rifles!
(Danielle Nowlin, Fairfax Station, Va.)

The new sheriff misunderstood the term “pushing up daisies.” (Mike Gips,
Bethesda, Md.)

Blot 1 upside down seems awfully . . . interested in Blot 5 upside down.
(William Kennard, Arlington, Va.)

A short-armed cowboy with an archaeopteryx in each hand: Tyrannosaurus
Tex. (Doug Frank, Crosby, Tex.)

Proof that even men with big hands can have problems down there. (Dave
Matuskey, Sacramento, Calif.)

In an effort to attract a more diverse fan base, the new Dallas Cowboys
logo features a buckaroo in chaps toting two feather boas. (Jeff
Shirley, Richmond)

A Pilgrim shows off the two turkeys he bagged for Thanksgiving dinner.
(Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.)

A map of Virginia’s 8th congressional district
(Martin Smith, McLean, Va., a First Offender)

*BLOT 2*
(Upside down) Mia Hamm’s ultrasound. (David Patch, Toledo, Ohio)

D.C. was much more crime-ridden back when the first panda came to town.
(Mike Gips)

To add “fun” to the game, Major League Baseball is requiring catchers to
wear mitts on both hands. (Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.)

After retiring its dancing elephants, Ringling Bros. tried featuring
stone crabs that juggle. (Ellen Raphaeli, Falls Church, Va.)

Campaign ads have become so noxious that Nielsen offers gas masks as
part of its TV survey gear. (David Patch)

(Upside down) Aerial view of Nationals Park during the seventh inning;
note the exodus of fans and crowding at subway stations. (Drew Bennett,
West Plains, Mo.)

Proverb for the Apocalypse: From little acorns grow mighty oak-crab
monsters. (Lawrence McGuire, Waldorf, Md.)

*BLOT 3*
The entrance to the “Tunnel of Love” at Trump Immigrant World amusement
park. (Mark Raffman)

The Cheshire Cat found it easy, if not pleasant, to disappear into
freshly paved asphalt. (Todd DeLap, Fairfax, Va.)

Two snails racing down Main Street USA to see the Disney fireworks.
(Bird Waring, Larchmont, N.Y.)

The new North Korean fighter jet is so slow, geese can keep up with it.
(Kevin Dopart, Washington)

Trump’s attempt to clone himself for vice president went awry. (Howard
Walderman, Columbia, Md.)

At the stoplight, Ginger /finally/ caught the car. (Tom Logan, Sterling,
Va., a First Offender)

Chucky gives two thumbs up after being hired by Putin to terrorize
Clinton’s campaign. (Dave Prevar, Annapolis)

They’ve finally identified the actual Devil that’s in the details!
(Beverley Sharp)

Blot 3 upside down plus Blot 5 right side up: The finalists in the GOP
Angry Elephant logo contest. (Jon Gearhart, Des Moines)

* The only known collaboration between Georgia O’Keeffe and Jackson
Pollock. (Drew Bennett)

Exacting vengeance on the pin that spoiled the perfect 300 game, thanks
to the open-carry law. (Joanne Free, Clifton, Va.)

On the road after leaving her husband for the last time, Lorena Bobbitt
saw a spider on the car seat next to her. (Lynne Larkin, Vero Beach, Fla.)

In Hasbro’s “Chess for Millennials,” the bishops shoot lightning bolts.
(Mark Raffman)

The pressure of the campaign finally gets to Melania. (Jeff Hazle, San
Antonio, Tex.)

After gender reassignment surgery, Pig-Pen
was pretty much the same person.
(Rob Huffman, Fredericksburg, Va.)

*BLOT 5*

(Upside down) Overhead view of Popeye bowing to the porcelain god after
some bad spinach. (Pam Sweeney, Burlington, Mass.)

Why lobsters shouldn’t skip Leg Day at the gym. (Hildy Zampella)

Discovered: the root cause of The Donald’s anger: yuge hemorrhoids.
(Stephen Dudzik, Olney, Md.)

Rare X-ray of a sweet tooth reveals a tiny, heart-shaped sugar lump at
the core. (Kimberly Baer, Woodbridge, Va.)

*ALL FIVE: * Running over all these Style Invitational prizes had zero
effect on their market value. (Jeff Martin, Rockville, Md.)

*Still running — deadline Monday, Aug. 22: Our contest to describe a
concept in one-syllable words. See