Style Invitational Week 1180: Strip search — play off a line of text
in a comic strip

Plus a lit’ obit of fun with the winners of Week 1176

(From "Zits," by Jerry Scott and Jim Borgman, King Features Syndicate,
altered by Bob Staake for The Washington Post with a parody by Chris Doyle)
By Pat Myers Entertainment
June 16

(Click here to skip down <#report> to the results of Week 1176, funny
lines in obituaries)

*“When we think of Alaska, butterflies aren’t the first image that comes
to mind . . .” * (“Mark Trail,” June 12)
*/No, that would be lipstick on a moose. / *

This week’s contest was suggested by Royal Consort Mark Holt, the
Empress’s main squeeze. Mark, a regular reader of The Post’s comics
section, thought it would be fun to take lines from various comics out
of context and lend them that Loserly touch. It’s a lot like our
recurring contest Questionable Journalism,
but with just the funnies. *This week: Find a line of text from any
comic strip or panel that appears on The Post’s comics pages or on , dated
anywhere between June 16 and June 27, *and either*(a) supply a question
that the original line could answer, *as in Chris Doyle’s line that
replaces “Find the problem?” in the cartoon above; or *(b) follow it
with your own line of dialogue or reply, * as in the Alaska example.
Write your entries as text — you don’t have to put them in pictures —
but include the name and date of each comic you’re using. **

Local journalist Brady Holt (aka Son of Empress) models this week's
second-prize noodly appendage. (Valerie Holt)

*NEW: No more emailing entries! Instead, submit them at this website: . *

Winner gets the Inkin’ Memorial
the Lincoln statue bobblehead that is the official Style Invitational
trophy. Second place receives a fabulous fuzzy green and yellow beanie
with soft noodly tentacles boinging out every which way. Donated by
Loser Dave Prevar.

*Other runners-up* win their choice of a yearned-for Loser Mug,
the older-model
“This Is Your Brain on Mugs” mug

or a vintage Loser T-shirt. Honorable mentions get one of our
lusted-after Loser magnets, “Magnet Dum Laude”

or “Falling Jest Short.”

First Offenders receive a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink

for their first ink). Deadline is Monday night, June 27; results
published July 17 (online July 14). You may submit up to 25 entries per
contest. See contest rules and guidelines at
. “Bones Mots” in the subhead below is by Tom
Witte; the honorable-mentions subhead was suggested by both Jesse
Frankovich and Jeff Shirley. Join the Style Invitational Devotees group
on Facebook at / ./ “Like” the
Style Invitational Ink of the Day on Facebook at /; /
follow @StyleInvite on Twitter.

*The Style Conversational *The Empress’s weekly online column, published
late Thursday afternoon, discusses each new contest and set of results.
Especially if you plan to enter, check it out at

And the results of the Style Invitational contest from four weeks ago . . .

In Week 1176 we asked for a humorous line for
someone’s obituary — and the person could be real or fictional, specific
or generic, living or not.

Our fingers are crossed tightly in hope that
between press time and the moment you read this, someone below didn’t
become “not.”

4th place:

Visitation for *Mr. Fosse *will be held at 5-6-7-8!
(Stephen Litterst,
Newark, Del.)

3rd place:

Ms. McMurray, *assistant to the Great Magico *until her recent
unfortunate accident, will be laid to rest on May 2 at 12:30 p.m. at
Highland Park Cemetery, and on May 3 at 1:30 at Mountain View Memorial
Park. (Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, Va.)

2nd place and the pair of ceramic California Raisins:

Reminiscences about Mr. Jones will be offered in a special service by
his colleagues in the *American Auctioneers’ Society,* today from 9 a.m.
to 9:01 a.m. (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.)

And the winner of the Inkin’ Memorial:

In keeping with his wishes, *Kim Jong Un *will not die. (Drew Bennett,
West Plains, Mo.)

Passed on: honorable mentions

*Mr. Schwarzenegger *will not be back. (Duncan Stevens)

*The Taliban* announced that the funeral of its new leader, who has yet
to be named, has been tentatively scheduled for early August. (Frank
Osen, Pasadena, Calif.)

For those planning to attend the funeral of the*Kennedy Center
executive,* please note that you must have attended four other funerals
this season
(George Smith, Frederick, Md.)

*Mr. Tarantino* was shot dozens of times, stabbed, impaled with a
samurai sword, immolated, and left in a giant pool of fake blood, in
accordance with his funeral wishes. (David Kleinbard, Mamaroneck, N.Y.)

After repeated attacks by Donald Trump, *Civility* finally succumbed to
its wounds last night. It will reportedly be buried next to the late
Humility and Accountability. (Leigh Giza, Bristow, Va.)

Correction: Our report yesterday that we had greatly exaggerated *Mr.
Twain’s *death was in error. (John Hutchins, Silver Spring, Md.)

Alas, *Zayn Malik *failed to notice that not all the traffic came from
One Direction. (Victoria Fombelle, Decatur, Ill.)

We are saddened to report that *Mr. Jrzbzzg,* a retired announcer for
Metrorail, grmmphled on Drccssday. Services will be held at Fllimmpjg
Church on Swzthmnk Street. (Roy Ashley, Washington)

Mrs. Jones, who suffered from recurrent episodes of amnesia, used
personal experiences to inspire her work as a *soap opera scriptwriter.*
She leaves behind four ex-husbands, her current husband/former stepson,
two children who aged from infancy to adolescence overnight, and an evil
twin. (Hildy Zampella, Falls Church, Va.)

Today, *Elisha Graves Otis *
ascended for the last time.
No buttons were necessary. (Steve Honley, Washington)

The *conjoined triplets *led a long and cheerful life, but now they are
six feet under. (Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.)

Mr. Gridley will be buried beside his beloved wife. Lifelong *crossword
enthusiasts,* the Gridleys will lie in eternal rest, two across and six
down. (Hildy Zampella)

*Gregor Samsa*, a traveling salesman and recent reclusive, was killed in
his home during a scheduled pest control treatment. (Chris Doyle,
Denton, Tex.)

*Mrs. Yomama *was laid to rest yesterday in a coffin they hadda get from
(Jon Gearhart,
Des Moines)

*Alice “Tinker” Bell *died suddenly last week during the taping of a TV
show when a stagehand neglected to flash the applause sign
. (Chris Doyle)

Harriet was a lifelong *NPR listener.* In lieu of flowers, please call
the local station and drone on for 15 minutes about how great she was.
(Bill Lieberman, Ellicott City, Md.)

*Mr. LaPierre *was buried with the traditional 300-million-gun salute.
(Rob Huffman, Fredericksburg, Va.)

California-bound settler *George Donner* perished in the Sierra Nevadas,
reportedly from consumption. (Chris Doyle)

*Ernest Hemingway *died. (Tom Glynn, Los Altos, Calif., a First Offender)

*Mr. Brin’s *
service is expected to last .00482 seconds, but mourners will no doubt
be impatient anyway. (Mike Gips)

Though he did not survive his attempt to go over Niagara Falls in a
canoe a second time, *Mr. House *was fondly remembered as being“good
till the last drop.”
Hazle, San Antonio)

Ms. Lee financed her law school tuition by working as an *exotic
dancer.* In lieu of flowers, donations may be slipped into the lacy
elastic band around her casket. (Lawrence McGuire, Waldorf, Md.)

Because of renovations to the funeral home, mourners of *Mr. Wiedefeld*

will be admitted only at 24-minute intervals. (Duncan Stevens)

Mr. Newton, an avid *bungee-jumping* enthusiast, died suddenly after a
brief battle with the ground. (Jesse Frankovich, Lansing, Mich.)

To attend the wake for “Family Circus” creator *Bil Keane,* mourners are
advised to run around the chapel, tramp through the garden, weave
between the bushes, jump in the sandbox, play with the dog, run around
the chapel again, knock on the door andask for Billy.
(Rob Cohen, Potomac)

Ms. Wilson, whose successful *real estate *career spanned three decades,
was interred in a spacious 35-square-foot mahogany coffin, with a
vaulted lid and high-end brass fittings. (Rob Huffman)

*Noted litigator *Dewey Cheatham was officially pronounced dead
yesterday at 10 a.m. Funeral services are stayed pending an appeal of
the coroner’s findings. (Frank Mann, Washington)

*Luciano Pavarotti *departed this life precisely when Your Mama started
singing. (Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.)

Survivors of former Virginia governor *Robert McDonnell *request that,
in lieu of flowers, donations be made to — never mind, just send
flowers. (Frank Mann)

Jack Ullman, the *“donut czar”* of greater Cleveland, died early
Thursday morning. His body is to be kremated. (Rob Huffman)

In lieu of flowers, the family requests that you refrain from mentioning
his participation in The Style Invitational. (Gary Crockett)

/And last: / *The Empress of The Style Invitational* was remembered last
weekend at a rousing memorial service. One mourner observed, “I don’t
think I’ve ever heard a ‘Be Our Guest’ parody at a funeral before.”
(Duncan Stevens)

*Still running — deadline Monday night, June 20: our contest for A-B-C
(or B-C-A, etc.) phrases. See
. *