Style Invitational Week 1178: A ___ of collective nouns

Plus ‘Yogurt Berra’ and the other winning ‘grandfoals’

An amalgam of dentists, one of the collective nouns from the Week 14
contest. We're collecting again in Week 1178. (Bob Staake for The
Washington Post)
By Pat Myers Entertainment
June 2

(Click here to skip down <#report> to the winning “grandfoals” of Week 1174)

*An AMALGAM of dentists// * /(Marilyn Glaser) /

This week's second prize: a more cuddly version of the dust mite. Actual
size: 5 inches. (Pat Myers/The Washington Post )

*A BROOD of pessimists* /(P.P. Rao, Chuck Smith)/

*A GREAT DEAL of used-car salesmen* /(Tim and Heather Allen) /

A clowder of cats. A murder of crows. A busyness of ferrets. They’re
“terms of venery,”

collective nouns for various animals, most of them originated centuries
ago by hunters. And what seems like centuries ago — Week 14, in 1993 —
The Style Invitational ran a contest for novel collective nouns,
producing a [collective noun] of entries, including the three above.

In the course of her dozen-year reign, the Empress has been regularly
beseeched to run this contest again, but had always declined, replying
politely with a list of the 40 or so collective nouns that got ink in
the Invite’s first year. (see them at
; scroll down a little). But just last week,
Loser Duncan Stevens sent the E some pretty persuasive examples (I’ll
let him save them for the contest), and so we’ll cross our fingers and
go for it. *This week: Propose one or more funny new names for groups of
things,* as in the examples above.

*NEW: No more emailing entries! Instead, submit them at this website: . *

Winner gets the Inkin’ Memorial
the Lincoln statue bobblehead that is the official Style Invitational
trophy. Second place wins a cute, cuddly plush Beanie Baby-size dust
mite, from the
Giant Microbes series of toys. You might like to cuddle up with it in
bed, even though your bed is likely to already have several million of
the real kind, along with
their droppings. Donated eons ago by Paul Kondis.

A real, not so cute dust mite, living in your bed right now: actual size
0.008 inch. (U.S. Government via Wikipedia)

*Other runners-up* win their choice of a yearned-for Loser Mug,
the older-model
“This Is Your Brain on Mugs” mug

or a vintage Loser T-shirt. Honorable mentions get one of our
lusted-after Loser magnets, “Magnet Dum Laude”

or “Falling Jest Short.”

First Offenders receive a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink

for their first ink). Deadline is Monday night, June 13; results
published July 3 (online June 30). You may submit up to 25 entries per
contest. See contest rules and guidelines at
. The headline for this week’s results was
submitted by both Jesse Frankovich and Kevin Dopart; the
honorable-mentions subhead is by Tom Witte. Join the lively Style
Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at /
./ “Like” the Style Invitational Ink of the Day
on Facebook at /; / follow @StyleInvite
on Twitter.

*The Style Conversational *The Empress’s weekly online column, published
late Thursday afternoon, discusses each new contest and set of results.
Especially if you plan to enter, check it out at

And the results of the Style Invitational contest posted four weeks ago
. . .

Week 1174 was our annual “grandfoal” spinoff
contest: The challenge was to “breed” two of the winning foal names from
Week 1170. And /that/ contest was our famous one to “breed” any two
names from a list of this year’s Triple Crown-nominated horses.

The grandfoal contest is always more challenging than the first round
because the names are already full of puns, and often not very
“name”-like. But as in the 10 previous runnings, the field was
star-studded. Or the studs were star-fielded. Or something.

4th place

*Thou Shalt Return x Not To Be = Lost Thy Receipt* (Danielle Nowlin,
Fairfax Station, Va.)

3rd place

*Kiss Me Cait x Nascarf = Kar Krashian* (Jonathan Hardis, Gaithersburg,

2nd place

/and theNew Zealand cartoon boxer shorts

*Gimme Another O! x Hanukkah Lewinsky = ooooOoooo
* (Ben Aronin,

And the winner of the Inkin’ Memorial:

*Autocorrect: Nose x Señor Moment = No Sé

Gray, Union Bridge, Md.)

The siring squad: honorable mentions

*Sandra Buttock x Adam and Heave = TushComesToShove* (Laurie Brink,
Cleveland, Mo.)

*Let My Pimple Go x Glock Watcher = ZittyZittyBangBang *(Charles Trahan,
Columbia, Md.)

*St. Arbucks x Hanukkah Lewinsky = Dr. Essstain* (Dave Matuskey,

*Hanukkah Lewinsky x Apocalypso = Dreidelocks* (Matt Monitto, Bristol,

*Yuge Pianist x Señor Moment = I Love Hispanics! *(Laurie Brink)

*Ham Somebody x Thrust But Verify = My Bad, Polonius* (Ellen Raphaeli,
Falls Church)

*Desitin x Señor Moment = Not Toothpaste!* (David Kleinbard, Maramoneck,

*¯\_(ツ)_/¯ x Desitin = Shruggies *(Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)

*Apocalypso x HydeOfTheYankees = Reggae Jackson* (Perry Beider, Silver
Spring, Md.)

*Significant Udder x Thou Shalt Return = Cowabungee* (Laurie Brink)

*Apocalypso x Kiss Me Cait = I Pucker Lips So* (Chris Doyle, Denton, Tex.)

*Don’tMethWithTexas x Recalculating . . . = Don’tMathWithTexas *(Pam
Sweeney, Burlington, Mass.)

*Don’tMethWithTexas x Not To Be = DismemberTheAlamo *(Steve Price, New

*Don’tMethWithTexas x Señor Moment = TheAlamo,Remember?* (Harold Mantle,
Lafayette, Calif.)

*Hanukkah Lewinsky x Glock Watcher = Armed&StainedDress *(Brian Cohen,
Norfolk, Va.)

*HydeOfTheYankees x Significant Udder = Yogurt Berra* (Wendy Sparks,
Rockville, Md.)

*IM The Walrus x Autocorrect: Nose = Goo Goo Kerchoo* (Gary Crockett,
Chevy Chase, Md.)

*IM The Walrus x Auld Lang Zion = Goo Goo G’Jew* (Rob Huffman,
Fredericksburg, Va.; Larry Gray)

*St. Arbucks x Apocalypso = Jubilatte Day-O* (Beverley Sharp,
Montgomery, Ala.)

*St. Arbucks x Yuge Pianist = Moby Dick* (Pam Sweeney)

*Yuge Pianist x ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ = It Was Thiiis Big*! (Jon Gearhart, Des Moines)

*¯\_(ツ)_/¯ x Autocorrect: Nose = Killjoy Was Here* (Harold Mantle)

*Adam and Heave x St. Arbucks = Pukin’ Spice Latte* (Victoria Fombelle,
Rochester, N.Y., a First Offender)

*PlaneStillMissing! x Nascarf = Amelia Earnhardt* (Brad Alexander,
Wanneroo, Australia)

*Adam and Heave x TheTenSuggestions = In Sin You Ate* (Rick Haynes,
Boynton Beach, Fla.)

*Adam and Heave x Thou Shalt Return = Sick Transit* (Laura Bennett
Peterson, Washington)

*AKA-47 x Pus In Boots = AnnieGetYourGunk* (Dave Zarrow, Reston, Va.)

*AKA-47 x Take The Fifth = AKA-37.6 * (Pie Snelson, Silver Spring, Md.)

*Bing Cosby x Gimme Another O! = How Bout Jail-O * (Jonathan Hardis)

*Genie Craig x Yuge Pianist = Wish Liszt* (Jesse Frankovich, Lansing,

*Dyquick x Yuge Pianist = Bucket Liszt* (Mike Ostapiej, Mount Pleasant,

*Glock Watcher x __itm_re = Shooting Blanks* (Jane Auerbach, Los Angeles)

*Ham Somebody x I Shall Retune = Alexander Hemitone *(Frank Osen,
Pasadena, Calif.)

*Nascarf x Take The Fifth = Isadora Drunken* (Nan Reiner, Boca Raton, Fla.)

*WhatAnswerYouWant? x Kiss Me Cait = Dear Sir Or Madam * (Robyn Carlson,
Keyser, W.Va.)

*IM The Walrus x Pus In Boots = AOL & the Pussycat * (Matt Monitto)

*Nascarf x Recalculating . . . = It’s ONE LEFT TURN * (Matt Monitto)

*Kiss Me Cait x Señor Moment = Taming Of The Who? * (Barry Koch,
Catlett, Va.)

*Recalculating x Gimme Another O! = GP yes-Yes-YES!! *(Bill Verkuilen,
Brooklyn Park, Minn.; Jon Gearhart)

*Señor Moment x Sphinxter = AARPee* (Rick Haynes)

*Significant Udder x OK, Moderate Mound = Dolly Partly* (Lewis Lesansky,
Burke, Va.)

*Yo-Yo Mama x I Shall Retune = Error on a GString* (Marilyn Pifer, Falls
Church, Va.)

*Yo-Yo Mama x Wile E. Capote = Hairiest Truman *(Nan Reiner)

*Sandra Buttock x I Shall Re-Burn = Arseonist *(Jane Auerbach)

*Wile E. Capote x Dyquick = In LOL’d Blood* (Jeff Hazle, Woodbridge, Va.)

*Significant Udder x Señor Moment = Teato Puente* (Neal Starkman, Seattle)

*Gimme Another O! x Yuge Pianist = Vanna Cliburn *(Danielle Nowlin)

*Genie Craig x Francis Of A C Sea = Jinn and Tunic *(Kathy El-Assal,
Middleton, Wis.)

*Take the Fifth x Thrust But Verify = Refuse To Lancer *(Brad Alexander)

Still running — deadline Monday night, June 13: our political song
parody contest. See .