Style Invitational Week 1164: ‘Wait’ for us— write a multiple-choice
trivia question
Like the ones on NPR’s comedy/quiz show. Plus winning redefined words.
Was it Answer B that really happened with Saran Wrap? Wait, wait, we’ll
tell you below. (Bob Staake for The Washington Post)
By Pat Myers February 25 at 10:45 AM
(Click here to skip down <#report> to the winning redefinitions of real
words)
*A “Wait Wait . . . Don’t Tell Me” question to Chance the Rapper on the
topic of . . . wrap: *
*/Sometimes Saran Wrap can save the day — as when what happened last
year in Chile?/ *
*/a. A mugger on the street was captured by bystanders and held by
wrapping him to a lamppost naked with Saran Wrap./ *
*/b. A man was saved from a house fire when he jumped into a makeshift
Saran Wrap net./ *
*/c. A desperate surgeon used Saran Wrap instead of a skin graft,
creating the world’s first transparent man./ *
The Empress has a hunch that more than a few Style Invitational fans
also listen to “Wait Wait . . . Don’t Tell Me,” the weekly NPR program
that’s a cross between a current-events quiz show and the Algonquin
Round Table, starring host Peter Sagal and a rotating panel of
quick-quipping wits.
In one of the show’s recurring comic quizzes, called Not My Job — “the
game where we ask very cool people about very lame things” — Sagal
presents a celebrity guest with a Ridiculous but True piece of recent
news or other trivia along with two related Ridiculous but Untrue ones,
like the question above. (Chance the Rapper, by the way, correctly
guessed A
on a show that was rerun last weekend.)
Which brings us to *this week’s contest,* which was suggested repeatedly
by the Royal Consort until the Empress gave in. We admit it’s a
challenge, but we have faith (or at least hope) in both the
trivia-finding and comedy-writing skills of the Loser Community:
*Compose a multiple-choice question about a Ridiculous but True fact or
event, with two entertaining wrong answers as well as the right one. One
of the two wrong answers may be obviously untrue as long as it’s funny.*
We’re not going to independently research the veracity of your Real
Thing, so you’ll need to show us a reasonably believable source for your
RBT fact. And you will, of course, tell the Empress the correct answer.
You can hear and read lots of other “Wait Wait” quizzes by clicking on
the link at npr.org/programs .
*AND YES YES! *“Wait Wait” panelist Roxanne Roberts, the longtime
Washington Post feature writer (and news quiz whiz, and even an
occasional Invite Prize Donor), has agreed to choose some favorite
entries from among the finalists.
Winner gets the Inkin’ Memorial
,
the Lincoln statue bobblehead that is the official Style Invitational
trophy. Second place receives an airline barf bag decorated with the
word for vomit in numerous languages, brought back (unused) from New
Zealand by Loser Elden Carnahan, just in time for the upcoming slew of
prime-time campaign commercials.
*Other runners-up* win their choice of a yearned-for Loser Mug,
the older-model
“This Is Your Brain on Mugs” mug,
a vintage Loser T-shirt, or something from the Mystery Box. Honorable
mentions get one of our lusted-after Loser magnets, “Magnet Dum Laude”
or “Falling Jest Short,”
or a Mystery Box item. First Offenders receive a smelly tree-shaped air
“freshener” (FirStink
for their first ink). Email entries to /losers@washpost.com
/ or, if you were born in the 19th century,
fax to 202-334-4312. *Deadline is Monday night, March 7; * results
published March 27 (online March 24). You may submit up to 25 entries
per contest. Include “Week 1164” in your email subject line or it might
be ignored as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone
number with your entry. See contest rules and guidelines at
wapo.st/InvRules . The headline for this week’s
results is by Chris Doyle, as is the honorable-mentions subhed. Join the
lively Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at /on.fb.me/invdev
./ “Like” the Style Invitational Ink of the Day
on Facebook at /bit.ly/inkofday; / follow @StyleInvite
on Twitter.
*The Style Conversational *The Empress’s weekly online column, published
late Thursday afternoon, discusses each new contest and set of results.
Especially if you plan to enter, check it out at wapo.st/styleconv
.
And the winners of the Style Invitational contest announced four weeks
ago . . .
*THE PUNABRIDGED DICTIONARY: REPORT FROM WEEK 1160*
In Week 1160 we asked you to come up with a totally different definition
for an existing word (this time the word had to start with P- through
Z-).
Funny but suggested too frequently: *ZEBRA* as a garment too big
even for Dolly Parton; *REMEMBER* is what the surgeons did to John
Bobbitt. Some of the entries below require you to pronounce the word
differently — e.g., read *THEME* as THE ME.
4th place:
*PITUITARY:* So foul-tasting you have to spit it out. (Danielle Nowlin,
Fairfax Station, Va.)
3rd place:
*SCATTERBRAIN:* A typical stage direction in a zombie movie. (Joanne
Free, Clifton, Va.)
2nd place and the bottles of red Leninade and chocolate/maple/bacon soda:
*STUD POKER:* Personal protective device to ward off conceited suitors.
(Howard Walderman, Columbia, Md.)
And the winner of the Inkin’ Memorial:
*PERMUTATION:* How Chernobyl Fried Chicken offers refunds. (Frank Osen,
Pasadena, Calif.)
A semiglossary of honorable mentions
*POTHOLE:* An obnoxious stoner. (Andrea Dewhurst, Lynn, Mass.)
*OPAL:* A friend with benefits. (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village, Md.)
*PAGEANT:* An insect found squashed inside a book. (Chris Damm, Charles
Town, W.Va.)
*QUIBBLE:* Pet food for finicky eaters. (Frank Osen)
*TYPEFACE:* The result of falling asleep at your keyboard. (Ben Aronin,
Washington)
*YO-YO:* Greeting between friends. (Jennifer Dickey, Silver Spring, Md.)
*WEEKEND:* How workers feel by Friday. (Jon Gearhart, Des Moines)
*WOMBAT:* Oh, it’s somewhere between the rib cage and the bellybutton.
(Mike Ostapiej, Mount Pleasant, S.C.)
*ZIP CODE:* Omerta. (Howard Walderman)
*TESTICLE:* “Answer These 10 Questions to See if You Are a Real Man”
(Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.)
*TESTICLES:* A Greek philosopher noted for his sensitivity. (Thor
Rudebeck, Chicago, a First Offender)
*SHERIFF:* Approval under certain conditions. (Mike Kozubek, Chicago, a
First Offender)
*PAPAYA:* A female sailor known for consuming great amounts of canned
fruit. (Brendan Beary, Great Mills, Md.)
** *PC:* A kiddie pool. (Gordon Cobb, Marietta, Ga.)
*PALEONTOLOGY:* The study of Irish people. (Danielle Nowlin)
*UNDERPANTS:* Fails to show sufficient excitement. (Brendan Beary)
*PEACH FUZZ:* Police recruits. (Chris Doyle, Denton, Tex.)
*UNDERSTUDY:* Preparing to fail by failing to prepare. (Mark Raffman)
*THEME:* The Donald’s favorite topic. (Kevin Dopart, Washington; Tom Witte)
*PARSNIP:* The act of lowering one’s golf score on the scorecard. (Chris
Damm)
*PERCHERON:* To carefully place a small object. “That vase is fragile;
could you percheron the back of the shelf?” (Gerald Diamond, London,
Ontario)
*PERDITION:* The most expensive way to pay for your Washington Post.
(Ivars Kuskevics, Takoma Park, Md.)
*PERSEVERING:* How a divorce lawyer charges. (Jesse Frankovich, Lansing,
Mich.)
*PERUSE:* How Your Mama charges. (Frank Osen)
*STARBUCKS:* Rudolph and Bambi. (Jim Exnicios, Manassas, Va.)
*WARDEN:* The Pentagon. (Hugh Thirlway, The Hague)
*PIRACY:* Rated XXX.14. (Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase, Md.)
*ZUCCHINI:* A leopard-print swimsuit. (Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.)
*RODENT:* A nasty pothole. (Marty McCullen, Gettysburg, Pa.)
*RADISH:* Really ultra-super phenomenally awesome, sorta. (Larry Gray,
Union Bridge, Md.)
*SYCOPHANT:* Prehistoric pachyderm also known as the brown-nose mammoth.
(Bird Waring, Larchmont, N.Y.)
*PENCHANT:* “Attica! Attica! Attica!” (Gerald Diamond)
*PRIUS:* From ancient times, i.e., before we were born. —
Merriam-Webster, Tween Edition (Melissa Balmain, Rochester, N.Y.)
*PLASTERBOARD:* A cocktail menu. (Gary Crockett)
*TOY:* A deadlocked game between the New York Giants and New York Jets.
(Mark Raffman)
*TWIST:* A night in a motel with Elmer Fudd (Mark Raffman)
*YESHIVA:* What you do when your Hebrew school keeps the thermostat too
low. (Brendan Beary)
*WRECKAGE:* The Terrible Twos. (Sylvia Betts, Vancouver, B.C.)
*WALLOP: *What Trump wants to put between the United States and Mexico.
(Mae Scanlan, Washington)
*WATERTIGHT:* Closer than regular friends, though not as close as blood
brothers. (Danielle Nowlin)
*WHIPPOORWILL:* Torture choice: 50 lashes or five hours of Shatner’s
Priceline commercials. (Ellen Raphaeli, Falls Church, Va.)
*SPOTLIGHT:* Diet dog food. (Joanne Free)
*VIOLATIONS:* String arrangements that muck up so many Beatles
recordings. (Larry Gray)
*TENDRIL:* What you need to do regularly at West Point. (John O’Byrne,
Dublin)
*TATAMI:* Oft-heard request at a strip club. (Jerry Birchmore,
Springfield, Va.)
*SUPERVISE:* Vat Kant and Hegel were. (Jesse Frankovich)
*Still running — deadline Monday night, Feb. 29: Our contest for
spelling words backward. See bit.ly/invite1163
. *