Style Invitational Week 1146: Stick it to us with an idea for a new
Loser magnet

And the winning tweets from @JFKanye West and other hybrid names
from Week 1142

Honorable-mention magnets from 2014-15 and 2011-12. It’s time to do a
set for 2016. (The magnets can also be horizontal.) (Designed by Bob
Staake for The Washington Post; slogans by Barbara Turner (left) and Tom
By Pat Myers October 22 feedback for 'Style Invitational Week 1146: Stick it to us with an idea
for a new Loser magnet'>

(Click here to skip down <#report> to the results of our “hybrid tweet”

Ever since 2004, when we stopped sending out bumper stickers, the
Empress has been awarding each Style Invitational honorable-mention
winner a Lusted-After Loser Magnet, created by the unmentionable Bob
Staake and featuring a contest-winning slogan. Every year or so, we
print two new designs, 500 copies each — so they really are
limited-edition artworks.

And now that we’re low on the 2015 models — “Hardly Har-Har”

and “The Wit Hit the Fan”

— tell us what to put on our next pair of magnets. This is the first
time we’ve asked you since 2012; we’ve been using runner-up entries
since then. Over the years, the slogans have taken several tacks: (a)
the idea of being not quite good enough to win (“Middle-Wit Champion”
“Honor Among Dweebs”
); (b) the idea
of being bad (“Discredit Card”
“Po’ Wit Laureate”
) (c) a fairly
positive sentiment (“Puns of Steel”
); and (4) a
joke about the Invite in general (“Sunday Drivel”

Surely you don’t want to attend Thanksgiving dinner without proper
headwear: Style and Metro art director Susana Sanchez-Young poses gamely
in this week’s second prize. (Pat Myers/The Washington Post)

*This week: Suggest a new Style Invitational honorable-mention magnet*
to be drawn by Bob. You can include just the text and Bob will
illustrate, or suggest a visual idea as well — in fact, Bob exhorted me
to remind you: “Think visually!” But remember: *The magnet is only the
size of a business card* (2 by 3.5 inches), and it needs to say “The
Style Invitational,” “The Washington Post,” “Honorable Mention” and
“2016” — so you can’t also show a complicated cartoon and/or a long
sentence. See this week’s Style Conversational (
) for all the slogans so far. You may resubmit
your own idea from any of our previous prize-slogan contests.

Winner gets — along with the magnet with the winning slogan — the Inkin’
the Lincoln statue bobblehead that is the official Style Invitational
trophy. Second place gets the other magnet we’ll be using, plus — just
in time for Thanksgiving dinner — this fabulous pumpkin pie hat, modeled
here by Style graphic designer Susana Sanchez-Young (Empress: “Would you
like to have your picture in the paper with a pie slice on your head?”
Susie: “Do I have time to put on some lipstick?”).

*Other runners-up* win their choice of a yearned-for Loser Mug
or the ardently
desired “Whole Fools” Grossery Bag.
mentions get, yes, a magnet, probably the last of the current
First Offenders receive a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink

for their first ink). E-mail entries to /
/ or, if you were born in the 19th century,
fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday night, Nov. 3; results published
Nov. 15 (online Nov. 12). You may submit up to 25 entries per contest.
Include “Week 1146” in your e-mail subject line or it might be ignored
as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number with
your entry. See contest rules and guidelines at
. The headline for this week’s results is by
Kevin Dopart; the honorable-mentions subhead was submitted by both Jeff
Shirley and Danielle Nowlin. Join the lively Style Invitational Devotees
group on Facebook at / ./ “Like”
the Style Invitational Ink of the Day on Facebook at / /

*The Style Conversational: *The Empress’s weekly online column discusses
each new contest and set of results. Especially if you plan to enter,
check it out at

And the results of the Style Invitational contest announced four weeks
ago . . .

*Social neTWOrking: Report from Week 1142*:
In Week 1142, inspired by the tweets of KimKierkegaardashian
, we asked you to combine two names
into a Twitter handle, and write a tweet or “bio” by the hybrid person:

4th place

*@Lao-Tzuperman:* A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single
bound. (Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.)

3rd place

*@JFKanye:* Ask not what your country can do for you — ask what /you/
can do for you. (Or for me.)” (Lela Martin, Midlothian, Va.)

2nd place and the “I’m an california gril” T-shirt:

*@Trumpelstiltskin:* Of course the bimbo knew my name — everybody knows
my name! And I never wanted her firstborn. Ugliest kid I ever saw. (John
Glenn, Tyler, Tex.)

And the winner of the Inkin’ Memorial

*@OrangeJulius:* Could be well mov’d: My friends in the House are
sticking knives into me. #IdesOfSeptember (Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase, Md.)

Tweetin’ Low: honorable mentions

*@BieberOfSeville:* Look at Me. . .
Look at Me. . .
LookatMeLookatMeLookatMeLookatMe . . . LOOK AT ME! (Todd DeLap, Fairfax,

*@RonaldonaldReagantrump:* Mr. Obama, put up that wall! (Warren Tanabe,
Annapolis, Md.)

*@Trumpelstiltskin:*I can spin this straw poll into gold. (Jesse
Frankovich, Lansing, Mich.)

*@Santorumplestiltskin:* Do you even know what my name means? No, wait .
 . . . Don’t Google it! (Jamie Martindale, McLean, Va.)

*@BelaLuGehrig:* Today I consider myself the suckiest man on the face of
this earth. (Gary Crockett)

*@GenPaulMacArthurny: *I shall go back! Go back! Go back to where I once
belonged! (Doug Frank, Crosby, Tex.)

*@RalphWaldoLauren:* Nature always wears the colors of the spirit.
Thinking of new tanning product line, silver/turquoise packaging.
Classic. (Pat Tompkins, San Mateo, Calif., a First Offender)

@*JohnLewistler’sMother: *Fought all my life for civil rights, but in
that painting I’m a prime example of profiling. #grayandblacklivesmatter
(Mae Scanlan, Washington)

*@MrBillcelMarceau:* : o
(Jeff Shirley, Richmond)

*@KeanuReevevere:* The British are coming! Whoa. (David Friedman,
Arlington, Va.)

*@JayLenOmar Khayyam:* The moving finger writes, and having writ, moves
on. Well, it writ me smack out of late night, and I haven’t moved on
yet. (Mae Scanlan)

*@FScottFitzGeraldFord:* So we beat on, boats against the current, borne
back ceaselessly into the — oops! Man overboard! (Mark Raffman, Reston)

*@HennyJungman:* Take my wife . . . as an example of an overdeveloped
superego! (Doug Frank)

*@YogiBerraGrylls:* When you come to a fork in the road, pick it up,
sharpen the tines, lash it to a stick, and use it to hunt small reptiles
for food. (Ben Aronin, Washington)

*@SwedishChefferson:* Yers der tree øf libjörtie müst be refrüshed vrom
time der time vit de blüd øf patriørts und tyrants. Børk! Børk! Børk!
(Davd Friedman)

*@StevieWonderWoman:* It’s true — I have an invisible airplane.
Invisible to me anyway. (Dave Ferry, Purvis, Miss.)

*@SecretariatHRClinton: *So I’m supposed to just keep running to the
left? (Mark Spencer, Waldorf, Md., a First Offender)

*@RobertTheBruceLee:* Kicking the English out of Scotland. Literally.
(Lawrence McGuire, Waldorf, Md.)

*@RobertFrostyTheSnowman:* Some say the world will end in fire, some say
in ice. All I know is that if this hat goes, I’m a puddle. (Rob Huffman,
Fredericksburg, Va.)

*@RaspuTaylorSwiftin:* Stabbers gonna stab stab stab stab stab. But I
shake it off, I shake it off. (Sandy Moran, Santa Rosa, Calif.)

*@OliviaNewtonJean-LucPicard:* I hate Q, I honestly hate Q. Yar, the one
that I want. (Barbara Turner, Takoma Park, Md.)

*@JimmyJacobBuffett:* I dreamed a ladder was set upon the beach,
reaching up to paradise and at the top, behold: a cheeseburger. Wow.
Blew out my flip-flop. (George-Ann Rosenberg, Washington)

*@JackLordByron: *She walks in beauty like the night. Book ‘er, Danno.
Solicitation. (Gary Crockett)

*@Hillary Clinton Portis:* Don’t worry, fans — I’m still running and
running and running for Washington! (Jamie Martindale)

*@HerodTheGreatPumpkin:* This Halloween, I shall rise from the most
sincere patch, seek the world’s good children, and slaughter them. (Jeff
Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)

*@GeorgeR.R.MartinLutherKing:* I have a dream today, and I will tell you
the next part of it in five or six years. (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.)

*@DonMcLenaDunham:* And I knew if I had my chance / That I could go take
off my pants / And maybe HBO’d be happy for a while (Rivka
Riss-Levinson, Washington, a First Offender)

*@DeepakGrouchopra:* I find meditation diverting — whenever someone
starts to meditate, I go in the other room and smoke a cigar. (Frank
Osen, Pasadena, Calif.)

*@CharlesDa’IrwinCrocHunter: *Crikey! This magnificent creature appears
to be the predecessor of several other species! Cranky little bugger,
though. (David Friedman)

*@CarlyFioSimon:* I’m so vain, I probably think I saved HP. (Robert
Schechter, Dix Hills, N.Y.)

*@CaptKirkCousins:* If Scotty would beam me up about a foot, those
@#$%&* linebackers couldn’t tip my passes. (Dick Barnes, Washington)

*@BryceHarperLee:* Shoot all the Blue Jays you want, if you can hit ’em,
but remember it’s a sin to choke a National. (Tom Witte, Montgomery
Village, Md.)

*BritneyShakeSpears (@Oops):* At which hour lest I not be with thee I
lose mine mind. Giveth unto me a sign. Hit mine own self baby again but
once. (Kevin Dopart)

*@AnneFrankGehry:* In spite of everything, I still believe that people
would rather live in functionless forms that don’t belong in their
surroundings. (Roy Ashley, Washington)

*@EmmaLazarump: *Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses
yearning to breathe free — I’ll make them pay for the wall I’ll build to
keep them out. (Gary Crockett)

*@EmmaLazaRushLimbaugh:* We don’t want your tired, your poor, your
huddled masses yearning for free stuff. (Chris Doyle)

*@TrumptyDumpty:* Trust me, I know about walls.
#LetsPutAmericaTogetherAgain (Jesse Frankovich)

*Still running — deadline Monday night: Our annual Tour de Fours
neologism contest. See . *