Crock o’ doodle doo: The winning cartoon captions of Style
Invitational Week 1126

And for Week 1130, Yux Redux: Make a pun on a foreign phrase

(Cartoons by Bob Staake for The Washington Post )
By Pat Myers June 25 feedback for 'Crock o’ doodle doo: The winning cartoon captions of Style
Invitational Week 1126'>

(Click here to skip down <#report> to this week’s new contest, to pun on
a foreign phrase)

REPORT FROM WEEK 1126: *Bob Staake’s cartoons in Week 1126* inspired the usual wide variety of
caption ideas, though there were many along the same theme: The Empress
counted 19 referring to Wonder Woman in Picture 3, and 24 that changed
one letter of “the buck stops here” in Picture 2. If your entry was
pretty much like one that got ink, good for you. You get nothing.

4th place

/Picture 2:/ “JUST AS IT’S SPELLED.” (Danielle Nowlin, Fairfax Station,

3rd place

/Picture 3:/ Joyce regrets that the same doctor did her eyelids and her
breast implants. (Roger Dalrymple, Gettysburg, Pa.)

2nd place
and the gadget that shoots spinning disks at flies:

/Picture 3:/ Hillary demonstrates that she has no visible connection to
her foundation. (Jeff Hazle, Woodbridge, Va.)

And the winner of the Inkin’ Memorial

/Picture 2:/ The sign engraver misunderstood the boss’s request to “do
it in cursive.” (Jeff Shirley, Richmond, Va.)

Pen and ick: honorable mentions


“I said, ‘Make a PROFIT, Muhammad.’ ” (John Burton, Herndon, Va., who
last got Invite ink in 2002)

It is a little-known fact that Norman Rockwell omitted his hipster
mustache and “flattened apple” hat from his self-portrait. (Todd DeLap,
Fairfax, Va.)

“Signorina Mona Lisa! I said, ‘Show me your TEETH!’ ” (Rob Wolf,
Gaithersburg, Md.)

“No, no, no! Do not wipe off the numbers until I say so.” (Sylvia Betts,
Vancouver, B.C.)

On school portrait day, it was so noisy that Vincent cut off the other
ear, too. (Robyn Carlson, Keyser, W.Va.)

(Cartoons by Bob Staake for The Washington Post)

“You know, Mr. Weiner, you could just buy a new cellphone.” (Andrew
Hoenig, Rockville, Md.)

Sadly, newcomer Juan picked the wrong day to set up his street easel in
Pamplona. (Jeff Brechlin, Eagan, Minn.)

“No, no, the re-creation of ‘The Last Supper’ should NOT involve pizza!”
(Rick Haynes, Boynton Beach, Fla.)

“Mother! Put your dress back on!” shouted Whistler in alarm. (Dudley
Thompson, Cary, N.C.)

Far from feeling handicapped, the artist was able to take advantage of
his severe scoliosis. (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)

The Supreme Court decides to ban body cameras, but will allow police
brutality to be recorded by sketch artists. (Danny Bravman, Chicago)


John sure did get tired of people pronouncing his name with a hashtag
instead of a number sign. (Danielle Nowlin)

Rep. Gohmert vowed to find the person who converted his nameplates to
Wingdings font. (Frank Osen, Pasadena, Calif.)

“Let’s just say my interview at Hallmark wasn’t at all what I expected.”
(Brendan Beary, Great Mills, Md.)

Willis made the mistake of ordering a laptop desk. (Ralph Nitkin,
Rockville, Md.)

“That’s my name, don’t swear it out.” (Art Grinath, Takoma Park, Md.)

“That’s my full name, but most people call me %.” (Art Grinath)

After the messy split, the “Sesame Street” lawyers forbade Bert to use
letters or numbers. (Mike Gips, Bethesda, Md.)

Eventually, President Truman got tired of people asking what the S stood
for. (Todd DeLap)


A typo during the research phase led to the development of the
hoverbroad. (Jeff Contompasis; David Friedman, Arlington, Va.)

The Betty White Macy’s Thanksgiving balloon nears completion. (Rob
Huffman, Fredericksburg)

You can’t go wrong wearing plaid during the fall. (Tom Witte, Montgomery

The Invisible Man carries his bride across the threshold. (Bird Waring,
Larchmont, N.Y.)

Continuing its clueless attempts to outdo Google, Bing produces a
carless driver. (Ward Kay, Vienna, Va.)

Each morning Doris rises promptly at 6. (Frank Osen)

Few people remember Barbara Bush’s short-lived career as a trapeze
artist. (Andrew Hoenig)

In her later years, Wonder Woman would fly her plane with the left
blinker on. (Ward Kay)

Penelope finds life much easier now that she’s uploaded herself to the
cloud. (Frank Osen)

“Quick, slip the piano back before she notices.” (Nannette Melnick,
Silver Spring, a First Offender)

Lucy in the sky with skirt. (Tom Witte)


Few people knew that Hitler’s mustache was a wig. (William Kennard,

Oliver Hardy died long before the invention of the selfie stick. (Rob
Pivarnik, Stratford, Conn.)

On vacation in Hawaii, Bob realized that he was too heavy for both the
grass skirt and the surfboard. (Robyn Carlson)

Adolf loves the result of his wet-cement face-plant. (Craig Matthiessen,
Burke, a First Offender)

Grace Jones’s first selfie was upside down and off center. (Jon
Gearhart, Des Moines

The boob tassel needs to hang a little lower if you want it to cover the
appendectomy scar. (Mark Raffman, Reston)

Satan grows bangs. (Bird Waring)

Unsurprisingly, the combination horseshoe/toothbrush was not a big
seller. (Larry McClemons, Annandale)

Using your Yorkshire terrier as a guest towel should probably be a last
resort. (Jeff Shirley)

Fade-off Hitler. (Doug Frank, Crosby, Tex.)

And this week’s new contest: .


*Cogito ergo bum: Sudden realization of graduating philosophy majors.*
(Greg Deye)

*Avant-garden: The flowers are lovely, but I’m not sure about the urinal
in the middle of the rhododendrons.* (Laurie Brink)

*Ode de toilette: Bathroom stall poetry. *(Tony Arancibia)

This week we present an encore of a contest we did back in 2011 to
enormous success — perhaps because it’s the epitome of the
Invitational’s trademark highbrow/lowbrow humor: “Putting the Rude in
Erudition,” as an earlier-model Loser Magnet

put it (since “Putting the Rud in Erudition” didn’t have the same ring
to it). Uber-Loser Chris Doyle recently suggested we do this contest,
accompanying his pitch with several clever examples; the thing was that
Chris had totally forgotten Week 936

— even though he’d gotten ink in it himself (as usual): “Mardi Gas: Fart
Tuesday.” Which convinces the Empress that there’s a world of new ways
out there to insult other languages.*This week: Make a wordplay on a
foreign phrase or term (or English phrase using foreign words) and
describe it,* as in the examples above from Week 936 (see the rest of
the results at ; you can play
on the same terms, but you can’t make the same joke, duh). Using the
term in a funny sentence is always welcome; using the term in a boring
sentence is not.

Winner gets the Inkin’ Memorial
the Lincoln statue bobblehead that is the official Style Invitational
trophy. Second place receives, apropos of this week’s contest, a
donation from foreign climes: a deck of playing cards from Australia. On
the back of the cards is acartoon of an “Aussie Sheila”

and a guide to what her various expressions mean (e.g., “Grouse lippy”:
“What a nice shade of lipstick”). Donated ages ago by Brad Alexander,
who enters the Invitational every week from Wanneroo, Western Australia.
The Empress met Brad and his wife a couple of years ago when they were
visiting Washington, and she didn’t think Brad’s lippy was grouse at all.

*Other runners-up* win their choice of a yearned-for Loser Mug
or the ardently
desired “Whole Fools” Grossery Bag.
mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet designed by Bob Staake: either
“The Wit Hit the Fan”
“Hardly Har-Har.”
Offenders receive a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink

for their first ink). E-mail entries to /
/ or, if you were born in the 19th century,
fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday night, July 6; results published
July 26 (online July 23). You may submit up to 25 entries per contest.
Include “Week 1130” in your e-mail subject line or it might be ignored
as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number with
your entry. See contest rules and guidelines at
. The headline for this week’s results is by
Mark Raffman; the honorable-mentions subhead is by Beverley Sharp. Join
the lively Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at
/ ./ “Like” the Style
Invitational Ink of the Day on Facebook at / /

*The Style Conversational: *The Empress’s weekly online column
(published late Thursday afternoon) discusses each new contest and set
of results. Especially if you plan to enter, check it out at

*Still running — deadline Monday night, June 29: our contest for poems
using spelling bee words.
. *