Style Invitational Week 1127: Because there just aren’t enough TV series


Plus the winning neologisms from our third ScrabbleGrams contest



Groomzilla, but only as ape: “Pay Bux for the Tux” — what TV series
spinoff can you come up with? (Bob Staake for The Washington Post)
By Pat Myers June 4 at 11:43 AM
Invitational Week 1127: Because there just aren’t enough TV series'>

(Click here to skip down <#report> to the winning ScrabbleGrams
neologisms of Week 1123.)

*Original: “Say Yes to the Dress.”*

*Spinoff: “Pay Bux for the Tux.” *

*/Groom: /This is the first thing I tried on and I like it fine. *

Papa always said, “When it rains it pours.” This week’s second-prize
salt and pepper shakers. (Pat Myers/The Washington Post)

*/Groomsmen:/ Us, too. *

*/Salesman:/ So: Will you pay bux for the tux?*

*/Groom: /Yeah. Okay, let’s get some beer. *

*[roll credits]*

This week’s contest comes from Obsessive Loser Jeff Contompasis, who
with 447 blots of ink is next in line to reach the 500-blot Style
Invitational Hall of Fame: *Think up a spinoff of a real TV series, past
or present, and furnish a description or bit of dialogue,* as in the
example above by JefCon, as the Loser Community calls him. Your entry
shouldn’t use much more space than Jeff’s script.

Winner gets the Inkin’ Memorial
,
the Lincoln statue bobblehead that is the official Style Invitational
trophy. Second place receives one more in our continuing series of Weird
Salt and Pepper Shakers: a merry pair of ceramic S&Ps depicting a
grandma-grandpa-looking couple, except that Grandma has a giant bun in
the oven under her apron. Upon which is lettered: “You and your ‘once
more for old times’ sake’!” Donated by Nan Reiner.

*Other runners-up* win their choice of a yearned-for Loser Mug
or the ardently
desired “Whole Fools” Grossery Bag.
Honorable
mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet designed by Bob Staake: either
“The Wit Hit the Fan”
or
“Hardly Har-Har.”
First
Offenders receive a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink

for their first ink). E-mail entries to /losers@washpost.com
/ or, if you were born in the 19th century,
fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday night, June 15; results
published July 5 (online July 2). You may submit up to 25 entries per
contest. Include “Week 1127” in your e-mail subject line or it might be
ignored as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number
with your entry. See contest rules and guidelines at wapo.st/InvRules
. The headline for this week’s results was
submitted separately by Great Minds Frank Osen, Chris Doyle and Kevin
Dopart; the honorable-mentions subhead is by Jon Gearhart. Join the
lively Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at /on.fb.me/invdev
./ “Like” the Style Invitational Ink of the Day
on Facebook at /bit.ly/inkofday. /

*The Style Conversational: *The Empress’s weekly online column (posted
late Thursday afternoon) discusses each new contest and set of results.
Especially if you plan to enter, check it out at wapo.st/styleconv
.

And the results of the Style Invitational contest posted four weeks ago
. . .

*HAR SCRABBLE: WINNING SCRABBLEGRAMS NEOLOGISMS OF WEEK 1123:
Week 1123 was our third annual Tile
Invitational, in which we posted several dozen seven-letter “tile racks”
used in ScrabbleGrams word puzzles, and invited you to create your own
terms of five, six or seven letters, or supply a funny definition of an
actual word.

Lots of people found “sin hour” in HINORSU, defining it as
what comes right after happy hour.

4th place:

/AAABKLV→ / *Lavabak: *Hawaiian term meaning “mainlander forgot the
sunscreen.” (Dion Black, Washington)

3rd place:

/EGLOPSS/ → *Glopess: *The school lunch lady. (Jeff Contompasis,
Ashburn, Va.)

2nd place and the Doggie Doo pump game:

/AACELMN/ → *Manlace: *Really tattered underwear. (Jeff Shirley,
Richmond, Va.)

And the winner of the Inkin’ Memorial:

/EFFILRY/→ *Filefry:* Somehow, Hillary’s phone got infected by this bug.
(Ricardo Rodriguez, Springfield, Va., a First Offender)

Tilin’ error: honorable mentions

/AACELMN/ → *Ma Clean:* The real brains behind the Magic Eraser.
(Frances Hirai-Clark,
Columbia, Md.)

→ *Manlace:* Burlap. — C. Norris, Hollywood (Bob Brown, Alexandria, Va.)

→ *Lean Mac* “Two all-beet patties . . .” (Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.)

/AADGGLR/ → *Glad-ag:* The new major in cannabis farming at Colorado
A&M. (Frances Hirai-Clark)

→ *Ragglad:* Relieved to find out you’re not pregnant. (Rob Huffman,
Fredericksburg, Va.)

→ *Raglag:* How long a spill gets to seep in before you sop it up. “With
a 2-year-old in the house I’ve got my average raglag down to 3.7
seconds.” (Danielle Nowlin, Fairfax Station, Va.)

/AAIMRSU/ → *Isaruma: *Unconfirmed gossip. (Pie Snelson, Silver Spring,
Md.)

/ABCFILO/ → *Fib-o-cal: *“Lite” food labels showing 14 servings for a
box of pasta. (Jon Gearhart, Des Moines)

→ *Flabio:* The model for the covers of the new plus-size Farleyquin
romance novels. (Roy Ashley, Washington)

→ *Co-flab: *The “sympathetic” weight your husband gains while you’re
pregnant. (Danielle Nowlin)

/ABEITUX/ → *TexAb: *It’s less a six-pack and more of a case. (Lawrence
McGuire, Waldorf, Md.)

→ *Beatux:* The condition of the rental after a great prom. (Joanne
Free, Clifton, Va.)

/ABILORT/ → *Ratboil:* Somehow, it never caught on the way the clambake
did. (Barry Koch, Catlett, Va.)

→ *Tai bro:* The ancient martial art of fist-pumping and high-fiving.
(Alex Jeffrey, Columbia, Md.)

/ACDILOR/ → *Oil card:* Until the middle of this decade, an ace in the
hole. (Mark Raffman)

→ *AC Lord:* the household member who always controls the thermostat.
(Rick Haynes, Boynton Beach, Fla.)

/ADELNTW/ → *Nadlet:* Anatomical feature of Porsche owners. (Mark Raffman)

/ADNORTU/ → *Art nod: *Sage-looking head motion intended to make other
gallery-goers think you have some idea what you’re looking at. (Adam
Beland, Fairfax, Va.)

/AEGLMPU/ → *Plum age:* Comes right before the prune age. (Steve Honley,
Washington)

→ *Pulmage:* Nice pair of “lungs.” (Mike Gips, Bethesda, Md.)

/AEMPRSV /→ *Ampervs:* Clearly superior to those Europervs. (Todd DeLap,
Fairfax, Va.)

→ *Vampers:* Thong diapers. (Jack McBroom, Fort Valley, Va.)

/AHLOOPW:/ *Phool: * Unfamiliar with the latest slang. “Listen, bae,
everyone’s going to think you’re phool unless your slang is on fleek.”
(Danielle Nowlin)

/ALNOPPY/ →*Lo-nappy:* What gangsta babies wear. (Rob Huffman)

→ *PayPol: *A way to make an online donation directly to your
candidate’s checking account — no questions asked! (Beverley Sharp,
Montgomery, Ala.)

/BBHIRSU/ → *Rubbish: *Having a propensity for frottage. “Stay away from
that guy on the Metro — he’s rubbish.” (Bob Brown)

→ *Br-ish: *Just above freezing. (Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.)

/BEEKNOT/ → *Bonkee: *How you should not refer to your new girlfriend.
(Elden Carnahan, Laurel, Md.)

/CCELLOT /→ *Cellot:* A phone fanatic. “Did you hear that Judy had a
three-port docking station installed in her shower? What a cellot.”
(Danielle Nowlin)

/CEHMOPR /→*Emporch:* To stash old things in out-of-the-way places. “Mom
decided to emporch Grandpa for the duration of the birthday party.”
(John McCooey, Rehoboth Beach, Del.)

/CELLOSY/ → *Cellosy: *What Yo-Yo Ma would feel if he saw his cherished
instrument between someone else’s legs. (Jeff Shirley)

→ *Coselly:* Pompous and bombastic. “The new guy on ESPN isn’t very
accurate, but he sure is coselly.” (Rob Huffman; Jamie Martindale,
McLean, Va.)

/EFFILRY /→ *Effilry: *An exchange of bad language. “The sniping at the
party devolved into a volley of unrestrained effilry.” (Dudley Thompson,
Cary, N.C.)

//→ *Fry file: *What currently has 275 items at the Texas Department of
Corrections. (Mark Raffman)

//→ *Iffery: *A group of people that can’t make a decision. “Jane didn’t
really care, so she waited patiently while the iffery debated which
movie to see.” (Amy Harris, Charlottesville, Va.)

/EHIMNPS/ → *Mensi: *Displaying a know-it-all attitude. “Don’t get all
mensi just because you got ink last week.” (Amy Harris)

→ *Penism:* An utterance displaying a complete lack of knowledge of
female matters, e.g.,“Can’t women swallow mini-cameras for gynecological
exams?”

(Danielle Nowlin)

/EILMOSS/ → *SlimeOs:* Cereal that’s been sitting in milk too long.
(Beverley Sharp)

/EKNRTUY/ → *Tenyur: *The word that persuaded the university to deny the
English professor’s request. (Beverley Sharp)

/GIINPTY/ → *Pingity: *An uncanny ability to set off metal detectors. “I
put my belt, coins, watch and prosthetic leg in the bin, and they still
had to pat me down. I guess I’m just really pingity.” (Andy Bassett, New
Plymouth, New Zealand)

→ *Litorgy:* Best-attended worship service ever! (Jeff Shirley)

/HINORSU /→ *Ruinsho:* Japanese term for someone who talks and texts in
a movie theater. (William Kennard, Arlington)

MOOPSTT → *Potmost*: Same as “topmost”: highest. (John Shea, Philadelphia)

→ *Tompost:* The NFL’s latest pile of fertilizer. (Dion Black)

*Still running — deadline Monday night: Our Bob Staake cartoon caption
contest. See bit.ly/invite1126. *