Style Invitational Week 1127: Because there just aren’t enough TV series

Plus the winning neologisms from our third ScrabbleGrams contest

Groomzilla, but only as ape: “Pay Bux for the Tux” — what TV series
spinoff can you come up with? (Bob Staake for The Washington Post)
By Pat Myers June 4 at 11:43 AM
Invitational Week 1127: Because there just aren’t enough TV series'>

(Click here to skip down <#report> to the winning ScrabbleGrams
neologisms of Week 1123.)

*Original: “Say Yes to the Dress.”*

*Spinoff: “Pay Bux for the Tux.” *

*/Groom: /This is the first thing I tried on and I like it fine. *

Papa always said, “When it rains it pours.” This week’s second-prize
salt and pepper shakers. (Pat Myers/The Washington Post)

*/Groomsmen:/ Us, too. *

*/Salesman:/ So: Will you pay bux for the tux?*

*/Groom: /Yeah. Okay, let’s get some beer. *

*[roll credits]*

This week’s contest comes from Obsessive Loser Jeff Contompasis, who
with 447 blots of ink is next in line to reach the 500-blot Style
Invitational Hall of Fame: *Think up a spinoff of a real TV series, past
or present, and furnish a description or bit of dialogue,* as in the
example above by JefCon, as the Loser Community calls him. Your entry
shouldn’t use much more space than Jeff’s script.

Winner gets the Inkin’ Memorial
the Lincoln statue bobblehead that is the official Style Invitational
trophy. Second place receives one more in our continuing series of Weird
Salt and Pepper Shakers: a merry pair of ceramic S&Ps depicting a
grandma-grandpa-looking couple, except that Grandma has a giant bun in
the oven under her apron. Upon which is lettered: “You and your ‘once
more for old times’ sake’!” Donated by Nan Reiner.

*Other runners-up* win their choice of a yearned-for Loser Mug
or the ardently
desired “Whole Fools” Grossery Bag.
mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet designed by Bob Staake: either
“The Wit Hit the Fan”
“Hardly Har-Har.”
Offenders receive a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink

for their first ink). E-mail entries to /
/ or, if you were born in the 19th century,
fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday night, June 15; results
published July 5 (online July 2). You may submit up to 25 entries per
contest. Include “Week 1127” in your e-mail subject line or it might be
ignored as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number
with your entry. See contest rules and guidelines at
. The headline for this week’s results was
submitted separately by Great Minds Frank Osen, Chris Doyle and Kevin
Dopart; the honorable-mentions subhead is by Jon Gearhart. Join the
lively Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at /
./ “Like” the Style Invitational Ink of the Day
on Facebook at / /

*The Style Conversational: *The Empress’s weekly online column (posted
late Thursday afternoon) discusses each new contest and set of results.
Especially if you plan to enter, check it out at

And the results of the Style Invitational contest posted four weeks ago
. . .

Week 1123 was our third annual Tile
Invitational, in which we posted several dozen seven-letter “tile racks”
used in ScrabbleGrams word puzzles, and invited you to create your own
terms of five, six or seven letters, or supply a funny definition of an
actual word.

Lots of people found “sin hour” in HINORSU, defining it as
what comes right after happy hour.

4th place:

/AAABKLV→ / *Lavabak: *Hawaiian term meaning “mainlander forgot the
sunscreen.” (Dion Black, Washington)

3rd place:

/EGLOPSS/ → *Glopess: *The school lunch lady. (Jeff Contompasis,
Ashburn, Va.)

2nd place and the Doggie Doo pump game:

/AACELMN/ → *Manlace: *Really tattered underwear. (Jeff Shirley,
Richmond, Va.)

And the winner of the Inkin’ Memorial:

/EFFILRY/→ *Filefry:* Somehow, Hillary’s phone got infected by this bug.
(Ricardo Rodriguez, Springfield, Va., a First Offender)

Tilin’ error: honorable mentions

/AACELMN/ → *Ma Clean:* The real brains behind the Magic Eraser.
(Frances Hirai-Clark,
Columbia, Md.)

→ *Manlace:* Burlap. — C. Norris, Hollywood (Bob Brown, Alexandria, Va.)

→ *Lean Mac* “Two all-beet patties . . .” (Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.)

/AADGGLR/ → *Glad-ag:* The new major in cannabis farming at Colorado
A&M. (Frances Hirai-Clark)

→ *Ragglad:* Relieved to find out you’re not pregnant. (Rob Huffman,
Fredericksburg, Va.)

→ *Raglag:* How long a spill gets to seep in before you sop it up. “With
a 2-year-old in the house I’ve got my average raglag down to 3.7
seconds.” (Danielle Nowlin, Fairfax Station, Va.)

/AAIMRSU/ → *Isaruma: *Unconfirmed gossip. (Pie Snelson, Silver Spring,

/ABCFILO/ → *Fib-o-cal: *“Lite” food labels showing 14 servings for a
box of pasta. (Jon Gearhart, Des Moines)

→ *Flabio:* The model for the covers of the new plus-size Farleyquin
romance novels. (Roy Ashley, Washington)

→ *Co-flab: *The “sympathetic” weight your husband gains while you’re
pregnant. (Danielle Nowlin)

/ABEITUX/ → *TexAb: *It’s less a six-pack and more of a case. (Lawrence
McGuire, Waldorf, Md.)

→ *Beatux:* The condition of the rental after a great prom. (Joanne
Free, Clifton, Va.)

/ABILORT/ → *Ratboil:* Somehow, it never caught on the way the clambake
did. (Barry Koch, Catlett, Va.)

→ *Tai bro:* The ancient martial art of fist-pumping and high-fiving.
(Alex Jeffrey, Columbia, Md.)

/ACDILOR/ → *Oil card:* Until the middle of this decade, an ace in the
hole. (Mark Raffman)

→ *AC Lord:* the household member who always controls the thermostat.
(Rick Haynes, Boynton Beach, Fla.)

/ADELNTW/ → *Nadlet:* Anatomical feature of Porsche owners. (Mark Raffman)

/ADNORTU/ → *Art nod: *Sage-looking head motion intended to make other
gallery-goers think you have some idea what you’re looking at. (Adam
Beland, Fairfax, Va.)

/AEGLMPU/ → *Plum age:* Comes right before the prune age. (Steve Honley,

→ *Pulmage:* Nice pair of “lungs.” (Mike Gips, Bethesda, Md.)

/AEMPRSV /→ *Ampervs:* Clearly superior to those Europervs. (Todd DeLap,
Fairfax, Va.)

→ *Vampers:* Thong diapers. (Jack McBroom, Fort Valley, Va.)

/AHLOOPW:/ *Phool: * Unfamiliar with the latest slang. “Listen, bae,
everyone’s going to think you’re phool unless your slang is on fleek.”
(Danielle Nowlin)

/ALNOPPY/ →*Lo-nappy:* What gangsta babies wear. (Rob Huffman)

→ *PayPol: *A way to make an online donation directly to your
candidate’s checking account — no questions asked! (Beverley Sharp,
Montgomery, Ala.)

/BBHIRSU/ → *Rubbish: *Having a propensity for frottage. “Stay away from
that guy on the Metro — he’s rubbish.” (Bob Brown)

→ *Br-ish: *Just above freezing. (Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.)

/BEEKNOT/ → *Bonkee: *How you should not refer to your new girlfriend.
(Elden Carnahan, Laurel, Md.)

/CCELLOT /→ *Cellot:* A phone fanatic. “Did you hear that Judy had a
three-port docking station installed in her shower? What a cellot.”
(Danielle Nowlin)

/CEHMOPR /→*Emporch:* To stash old things in out-of-the-way places. “Mom
decided to emporch Grandpa for the duration of the birthday party.”
(John McCooey, Rehoboth Beach, Del.)

/CELLOSY/ → *Cellosy: *What Yo-Yo Ma would feel if he saw his cherished
instrument between someone else’s legs. (Jeff Shirley)

→ *Coselly:* Pompous and bombastic. “The new guy on ESPN isn’t very
accurate, but he sure is coselly.” (Rob Huffman; Jamie Martindale,
McLean, Va.)

/EFFILRY /→ *Effilry: *An exchange of bad language. “The sniping at the
party devolved into a volley of unrestrained effilry.” (Dudley Thompson,
Cary, N.C.)

//→ *Fry file: *What currently has 275 items at the Texas Department of
Corrections. (Mark Raffman)

//→ *Iffery: *A group of people that can’t make a decision. “Jane didn’t
really care, so she waited patiently while the iffery debated which
movie to see.” (Amy Harris, Charlottesville, Va.)

/EHIMNPS/ → *Mensi: *Displaying a know-it-all attitude. “Don’t get all
mensi just because you got ink last week.” (Amy Harris)

→ *Penism:* An utterance displaying a complete lack of knowledge of
female matters, e.g.,“Can’t women swallow mini-cameras for gynecological

(Danielle Nowlin)

/EILMOSS/ → *SlimeOs:* Cereal that’s been sitting in milk too long.
(Beverley Sharp)

/EKNRTUY/ → *Tenyur: *The word that persuaded the university to deny the
English professor’s request. (Beverley Sharp)

/GIINPTY/ → *Pingity: *An uncanny ability to set off metal detectors. “I
put my belt, coins, watch and prosthetic leg in the bin, and they still
had to pat me down. I guess I’m just really pingity.” (Andy Bassett, New
Plymouth, New Zealand)

→ *Litorgy:* Best-attended worship service ever! (Jeff Shirley)

/HINORSU /→ *Ruinsho:* Japanese term for someone who talks and texts in
a movie theater. (William Kennard, Arlington)

MOOPSTT → *Potmost*: Same as “topmost”: highest. (John Shea, Philadelphia)

→ *Tompost:* The NFL’s latest pile of fertilizer. (Dion Black)

*Still running — deadline Monday night: Our Bob Staake cartoon caption
contest. See *