Style Invitational Week 1126: How do your cartoon captions Staake up?

Plus the winning ‘grandfoals’ of Week 1122

It’s the umpteenth (or maybe umpeenth-plus-one) Bob Staake cartoon
caption contest. (Bob Staake for The Washington Post )
By Pat Myers May 28 feedback for 'Style Invitational Week 1126: How do your cartoon captions
Staake up?'>

(Click here to skip down <#report> to the winning “grandfoal” names of
Week 1122.)

Style Invitational Cartoonist for All Time Bob Staake might be immersed
in his latest project, the children’s book “Beachy and Me” (it’s about a
whale). But fortunately for the Invitational, Bob is able to immerse
himself into 27 things at once. And so once again:*Provide a humorous
caption for any of the cartoons above.* Although the people in the
cartoons don’t seem to be talking, feel free to “quote” them anyway.

Winner gets the Inkin’ Memorial
the Lincoln statue bobblehead that is the official Style Invitational
trophy. Second place receives the Flyshooter,
a little pistol-shaped
gadget with which you shoot a spinning swatter disk at a fly. The
Empress, while she is famously callous to the misery of ink-deprived
Losers, actually wouldn’t hurt a fly, at least for fun. And so she
recommends this only for aiming at trouser zippers. Donated by Dave Prevar.

Other runners-up win their choice of a yearned-for Loser Mug
or the ardently
desired “Whole Fools” Grossery Bag.
mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet designed by Staake: either “The
Wit Hit the Fan”
“Hardly Har-Har.”
Offenders receive a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink

for their first ink). E-mail entries to /
/ or, if you were born in the 19th century,
fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, June 8; results published June
28 (online June 25). You may submit up to 25 entries per contest.
Include “Week 1126” in your e-mail subject line or it might be ignored
as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number with
your entry. See contest rules and guidelines at
. The headline for this week’s results is by
Kevin Dopart; the honorable-mentions subhead is by Tom Witte. Join the
lively Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at /
./ “Like” the Style Invitational Ink of the Day
on Facebook at / /

*The Style Conversational: *The Empress’s weekly online column
(published late Thursday) discusses each new contest and set of results.
Especially if you plan to enter, check it out at

And the results of the Style Invitational contest posted four weeks ago
. . .

** *InWeek 1122, * our 10th annual
“grandfoals” contest, we asked the Losers to “breed” any two “foal”
names produced in Week 1118 by breeding two
names from a list of this year’s Triple Crown nominees.

Since most of the initial foal names already contained puns, this week’s winners are
poly-punsaturated. Here are just a few of the many worthy ponies drawn
from more than 1,500 entries. Funny but sent by too many people:
*:oscopy x 2B Continued = ;oscopy; Buzzed Aldrin x Kinky Tut =
Astronaughty. *

4th place:

*To the Manna Born x Kinky Tut = To the Man o’ Porn* (Chris Doyle,
Ponder, Tex.)

3rd place:

*BobDylan’sMustache x Let My Pimple Go = How’d a Zit Feel?* (Brendan
Beary, Great Mills, Md.)

2nd place and the Marcin Gortat action figure:

*Look Ma No Hanes x Absolut Zero = Me and My Kelvins* (Pam Sweeney,
Burlington, Mass.)

And the winner of the Inkin’ Memorial:

*:oscopy x Not With Tongue = NOT WITH TONGUE!!! * (Jonathan Paul,
Garrett Park, Md.)

Castoffspring: honorable mentions

*Look Ma No Hanes x Car Per Diem = Ex-pants Account* (Susan Thompson,
Cary, N.C.)

*Brooklyn hEights x Tough, Customer! = BridgeOfNoReturn* (Beverley
Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.)

*:oscopy x Chat With Dentist = .ontist* (Jeff Shirley, Richmond, Va.)

*Black-Eyed Sousa x Paternity Soot = Tuba Litigation* (Nan Reiner, sent
from Boca Raton, Fla.)

*Chat With Dentist x Car Per Diem = Hertz!* (Carol Ann Linder,
Arlington, Va.; Francis Canavan, Reston, Va.)

*Paternity Soot x Flew the Co-op = DNAWOL* (Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase,

*GermanOfTheBored x Full Employment = Merkel Workers* (Chris Doyle)

*Hellene a Handbag x Full Employment = Grecian, Earn* (Nan Reiner)

*Hellene a Handbag x Look Ma No Hanes = GreeksBaringGifts* (Ben Aronin,

*Hellene a Handbag x Pipes Are Clogging = Loogie Vuitton* (Dave Zarrow,

*Spamalot x Hellene a Handbag = GeNuiNe GuCCi BaG$* (Emily Davis,
Bloomington, Ind.)

*I Tolled You So x Paternity Soot = EZ Pa *(Jeff Shirley)

*I Tolled You So x Fe Fi Ho Hum = EZ Passé *(Jeff Shirley)

*No Movie x In Like Lint = GreatAmericanNavel* (Ben Aronin)

*Sphinxter x Jack and the Beans = Hole Enchilada* (Pam Sweeney)

*Jack and the Beans x Tuten C’mon = Common Tootin’* (Jeff Hazle,
Woodbridge, Va.)

*Stairway to Heavin x Leave Delight On = LED Zeppelin* (Chris Doyle)

*Stairway to Heavin x Pipes Are Clogging = Load Zeppelin* (Rob Huffman,
Fredericksburg, Va.)

*Let My Pimple Go x So Long, Succor = Zit Outta Luck* (Larry Passar,
Reston, Va.)

*Stan Musical x Let My Pimple Go = AsGoodAsZitGetz* (Tom Witte,
Montgomery Village, Md.)

*Ovi Ovi Ovi x Paternity Soot = OyVey OyVey OyVey* (Ellen Raphaeli,
Falls Church, Va.; Sam Laudenslager, Burke, Va.)

*Ovi Ovi Ovi x I Tolled You So = HOVi HOVi HOVi * (Jeff Shirley)

*So Long, Succor x Prince Charmin = T.P. Barnum* (Laurie Brink,
Cleveland, Mo.)

*To the Manna Born x Prince Charmin = Miracle Whipple* (Kevin Dopart,

*Black-Eyed Sousa x Even Snider = Simper Fidelis* (Emily Davis)

*Absolut Zero x Teuton-khamun = The Kelvinator *(Steve Honley, Washington)

*:oscopy x Jack Bauer = Keister Sutherland* (Stephen Gilberg, Silver
Spring, Md.)

*Look Ma No Hanes x :oscopy = Polyp Your Pants* (Jon Gearhart, Des Moines)

*Absolut Zero x Full Employment = Kelvin and Jobs* (Rob Wolf,
Gaithersburg, Md.; Harold Mantle, Lafayette, Calif.)

*Absolut Zero x Kabeerpong = Kelvin and Hops* (Matt Monitto, Bristol, Conn.)

*Burst Your Bauble x Spamalot = Bling Out Your Dead* (Dudley Thompson,
Cary, N.C.)

*Brinks Rubbery x Who Needs Ink? = Br___s Rubbery* (Bill Verkuilen,
Brooklyn Park, Minn.)

*Brinks Rubbery x Flew the Co-op = Bounced Chick* (Don Kirkpatrick,
Waynesboro, Pa.)

*Car Per Diem x Neil Strongarm = Porsche Control* (Danielle Nowlin,
Fairfax Station, Va.)

*Stairway to Heavin x Car Per Diem = Sick Transit* (Laura Bennett
Peterson, Washington)

*Chat With Dentist x Gone Tomorrow = BitewingConspiracy* (Howard
Walderman, Columbia, Md.)

*Chat With Dentist x Not With Tongue = Wuhh Up Oc?* (Larry Passar)

*Chat With Dentist x Poise N the Hood = Pulled Out Aplomb* (Brad
Alexander, Wanneroo, Australia)

*Poise N the Hood x Etsy Wetsy = Wearing It Wrong* (Marilyn Pifer, Falls
Church, Va.)

*The Cope Diamond x Fur and Balanced = Cope of Good Ape* (Dudley Thompson)

*Jack Bauer x :oscopy = 24-Ow Service* (Steve Honley)

*Magnum, T.I. x Jack and the Beans = Magnum, T.P.* (Brian Cohen,
Norfolk, Va.; Danielle Nowlin)

*Magnum, T.I. x Tough, Customer = Magnum T.S.* (Susan Thompson)

*Julius Seizure x TuskegeeExperiment = Grand MalPractice* (Jonathan
Hardis, Gaithersburg, Md.)

*Leave Delight On x KO Pectate = Motel Sicks* (George-Ann Rosenberg,

*KO Pectate x Paternity Soot = Runs in the Family* (Jonathan Paul)

*Look Ma No Hanes x Paypal Bull = DanglinPartEpistle* (Frank Osen,
Pasadena, Calif.)

*Neil Strongarm x Medieval Knievel = ResistanceIsFeudal *(Jan
Brandstetter, Mechanicsville, Md.)

*Medieval Knievel x Paypal Bull = Serf and Turf* (Ellen Raphaeli)

*Rush Lintball x Pipes Are Clogging = Joe the Plumber* (Harold Mantle)

*Look Ma No Hanes x Leave Delight On = Fruit of the Lumen* (Pam Sweeney)

*Who Needs Ink x Look Ma No Hanes = Losing Streak* (Beverley Sharp; Brad

*Still running — deadline Monday night, June 1: our contest to chop the
end off a song title to humorous effect. See