Style Invitational Week 1126: How do your cartoon captions Staake up?
Plus the winning ‘grandfoals’ of Week 1122
It’s the umpteenth (or maybe umpeenth-plus-one) Bob Staake cartoon
caption contest. (Bob Staake for The Washington Post )
By Pat Myers May 28
feedback for 'Style Invitational Week 1126: How do your cartoon captions
Staake up?'>
(Click here to skip down <#report> to the winning “grandfoal” names of
Week 1122.)
Style Invitational Cartoonist for All Time Bob Staake might be immersed
in his latest project, the children’s book “Beachy and Me” (it’s about a
whale). But fortunately for the Invitational, Bob is able to immerse
himself into 27 things at once. And so once again:*Provide a humorous
caption for any of the cartoons above.* Although the people in the
cartoons don’t seem to be talking, feel free to “quote” them anyway.
Winner gets the Inkin’ Memorial
,
the Lincoln statue bobblehead that is the official Style Invitational
trophy. Second place receives the Flyshooter,
a little pistol-shaped
gadget with which you shoot a spinning swatter disk at a fly. The
Empress, while she is famously callous to the misery of ink-deprived
Losers, actually wouldn’t hurt a fly, at least for fun. And so she
recommends this only for aiming at trouser zippers. Donated by Dave Prevar.
Other runners-up win their choice of a yearned-for Loser Mug
or the ardently
desired “Whole Fools” Grossery Bag.
Honorable
mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet designed by Staake: either “The
Wit Hit the Fan”
or
“Hardly Har-Har.”
First
Offenders receive a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink
for their first ink). E-mail entries to /losers@washpost.com
/ or, if you were born in the 19th century,
fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, June 8; results published June
28 (online June 25). You may submit up to 25 entries per contest.
Include “Week 1126” in your e-mail subject line or it might be ignored
as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number with
your entry. See contest rules and guidelines at wapo.st/InvRules
. The headline for this week’s results is by
Kevin Dopart; the honorable-mentions subhead is by Tom Witte. Join the
lively Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at /on.fb.me/invdev
./ “Like” the Style Invitational Ink of the Day
on Facebook at /bit.ly/inkofday. /
*The Style Conversational: *The Empress’s weekly online column
(published late Thursday) discusses each new contest and set of results.
Especially if you plan to enter, check it out at wapo.st/styleconv
.
And the results of the Style Invitational contest posted four weeks ago
. . .
*REFILLIES: THE WINNING “GRANDFOALS” OF WEEK 1122:
** *InWeek 1122, * our 10th annual
“grandfoals” contest, we asked the Losers to “breed” any two “foal”
names produced in Week 1118 by breeding two
names from a list of this year’s Triple Crown nominees.
Since most of the initial foal names already contained puns, this week’s winners are
poly-punsaturated. Here are just a few of the many worthy ponies drawn
from more than 1,500 entries. Funny but sent by too many people:
*:oscopy x 2B Continued = ;oscopy; Buzzed Aldrin x Kinky Tut =
Astronaughty. *
4th place:
*To the Manna Born x Kinky Tut = To the Man o’ Porn* (Chris Doyle,
Ponder, Tex.)
3rd place:
*BobDylan’sMustache x Let My Pimple Go = How’d a Zit Feel?* (Brendan
Beary, Great Mills, Md.)
2nd place and the Marcin Gortat action figure:
*Look Ma No Hanes x Absolut Zero = Me and My Kelvins* (Pam Sweeney,
Burlington, Mass.)
And the winner of the Inkin’ Memorial:
*:oscopy x Not With Tongue = NOT WITH TONGUE!!! * (Jonathan Paul,
Garrett Park, Md.)
Castoffspring: honorable mentions
*Look Ma No Hanes x Car Per Diem = Ex-pants Account* (Susan Thompson,
Cary, N.C.)
*Brooklyn hEights x Tough, Customer! = BridgeOfNoReturn* (Beverley
Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.)
*:oscopy x Chat With Dentist = .ontist* (Jeff Shirley, Richmond, Va.)
*Black-Eyed Sousa x Paternity Soot = Tuba Litigation* (Nan Reiner, sent
from Boca Raton, Fla.)
*Chat With Dentist x Car Per Diem = Hertz!* (Carol Ann Linder,
Arlington, Va.; Francis Canavan, Reston, Va.)
*Paternity Soot x Flew the Co-op = DNAWOL* (Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase,
Md.)
*GermanOfTheBored x Full Employment = Merkel Workers* (Chris Doyle)
*Hellene a Handbag x Full Employment = Grecian, Earn* (Nan Reiner)
*Hellene a Handbag x Look Ma No Hanes = GreeksBaringGifts* (Ben Aronin,
Washington)
*Hellene a Handbag x Pipes Are Clogging = Loogie Vuitton* (Dave Zarrow,
Reston)
*Spamalot x Hellene a Handbag = GeNuiNe GuCCi BaG$* (Emily Davis,
Bloomington, Ind.)
*I Tolled You So x Paternity Soot = EZ Pa *(Jeff Shirley)
*I Tolled You So x Fe Fi Ho Hum = EZ Passé *(Jeff Shirley)
*No Movie x In Like Lint = GreatAmericanNavel* (Ben Aronin)
*Sphinxter x Jack and the Beans = Hole Enchilada* (Pam Sweeney)
*Jack and the Beans x Tuten C’mon = Common Tootin’* (Jeff Hazle,
Woodbridge, Va.)
*Stairway to Heavin x Leave Delight On = LED Zeppelin* (Chris Doyle)
*Stairway to Heavin x Pipes Are Clogging = Load Zeppelin* (Rob Huffman,
Fredericksburg, Va.)
*Let My Pimple Go x So Long, Succor = Zit Outta Luck* (Larry Passar,
Reston, Va.)
*Stan Musical x Let My Pimple Go = AsGoodAsZitGetz* (Tom Witte,
Montgomery Village, Md.)
*Ovi Ovi Ovi x Paternity Soot = OyVey OyVey OyVey* (Ellen Raphaeli,
Falls Church, Va.; Sam Laudenslager, Burke, Va.)
*Ovi Ovi Ovi x I Tolled You So = HOVi HOVi HOVi * (Jeff Shirley)
*So Long, Succor x Prince Charmin = T.P. Barnum* (Laurie Brink,
Cleveland, Mo.)
*To the Manna Born x Prince Charmin = Miracle Whipple* (Kevin Dopart,
Washington)
*Black-Eyed Sousa x Even Snider = Simper Fidelis* (Emily Davis)
*Absolut Zero x Teuton-khamun = The Kelvinator *(Steve Honley, Washington)
*:oscopy x Jack Bauer = Keister Sutherland* (Stephen Gilberg, Silver
Spring, Md.)
*Look Ma No Hanes x :oscopy = Polyp Your Pants* (Jon Gearhart, Des Moines)
*Absolut Zero x Full Employment = Kelvin and Jobs* (Rob Wolf,
Gaithersburg, Md.; Harold Mantle, Lafayette, Calif.)
*Absolut Zero x Kabeerpong = Kelvin and Hops* (Matt Monitto, Bristol, Conn.)
*Burst Your Bauble x Spamalot = Bling Out Your Dead* (Dudley Thompson,
Cary, N.C.)
*Brinks Rubbery x Who Needs Ink? = Br___s Rubbery* (Bill Verkuilen,
Brooklyn Park, Minn.)
*Brinks Rubbery x Flew the Co-op = Bounced Chick* (Don Kirkpatrick,
Waynesboro, Pa.)
*Car Per Diem x Neil Strongarm = Porsche Control* (Danielle Nowlin,
Fairfax Station, Va.)
*Stairway to Heavin x Car Per Diem = Sick Transit* (Laura Bennett
Peterson, Washington)
*Chat With Dentist x Gone Tomorrow = BitewingConspiracy* (Howard
Walderman, Columbia, Md.)
*Chat With Dentist x Not With Tongue = Wuhh Up Oc?* (Larry Passar)
*Chat With Dentist x Poise N the Hood = Pulled Out Aplomb* (Brad
Alexander, Wanneroo, Australia)
*Poise N the Hood x Etsy Wetsy = Wearing It Wrong* (Marilyn Pifer, Falls
Church, Va.)
*The Cope Diamond x Fur and Balanced = Cope of Good Ape* (Dudley Thompson)
*Jack Bauer x :oscopy = 24-Ow Service* (Steve Honley)
*Magnum, T.I. x Jack and the Beans = Magnum, T.P.* (Brian Cohen,
Norfolk, Va.; Danielle Nowlin)
*Magnum, T.I. x Tough, Customer = Magnum T.S.* (Susan Thompson)
*Julius Seizure x TuskegeeExperiment = Grand MalPractice* (Jonathan
Hardis, Gaithersburg, Md.)
*Leave Delight On x KO Pectate = Motel Sicks* (George-Ann Rosenberg,
Washington)
*KO Pectate x Paternity Soot = Runs in the Family* (Jonathan Paul)
*Look Ma No Hanes x Paypal Bull = DanglinPartEpistle* (Frank Osen,
Pasadena, Calif.)
*Neil Strongarm x Medieval Knievel = ResistanceIsFeudal *(Jan
Brandstetter, Mechanicsville, Md.)
*Medieval Knievel x Paypal Bull = Serf and Turf* (Ellen Raphaeli)
*Rush Lintball x Pipes Are Clogging = Joe the Plumber* (Harold Mantle)
*Look Ma No Hanes x Leave Delight On = Fruit of the Lumen* (Pam Sweeney)
*Who Needs Ink x Look Ma No Hanes = Losing Streak* (Beverley Sharp; Brad
Alexander)
*Still running — deadline Monday night, June 1: our contest to chop the
end off a song title to humorous effect. See bit.ly/invite1125.
*