Style Invitational Week 1120: Celebrating our Differences: a retro
comparison contest
Plus ‘USSRia’ and other winning neologisms from place names
Holey, holey, holey: socks and ’Skins. (Bob Staake for The Washington
Post )
By Pat Myers April 16
feedback for 'Style Invitational Week 1120: Celebrating our Differences:
a retro comparison contest'>
(Click here to skip down <#report> to the winning and Losing neologisms
from Week 1116)
/The Redskins’ offensive line vs. a pile of odd socks:/ The socks have
almost as many holes.
/A tattoo of Joe Biden vs. a Style Invitational Loser Magnet:/ If you
had the magnet attached to your shoulder, /maybe/ Biden wouldn’t want to
play with it.
*• A $4 haircut
• Dilbert’s necktie
• Ruth Bader Ginsburg doing the Macarena
• that “not so fresh” feeling
• pizza-scented shampoo
• the Redskins’ offensive line
• a pile of odd socks
• the 400-meter dash
• a Style Invitational Loser magnet
• “American Gothic”
• Mohandas K. Gandhi
• an elderly Labrador retriever
• an Elizabethan sonnet
• a tattoo of Joe Biden
• Yemen
• an overactive bladder
• a three-cupped bra*
One of these men will go home with you if you win second prize. And it’s
not Dean Evangelista of Rockville, Md. ( Selfie by Dean Evangelista)
One of the most enduring (a.k.a. really easy to create) Style
Invitational contests has been the one in which the Czar or Empress
offers a list of random nouns and asks readers to explain how any two of
the items are alike or different. Over the years, some of the winning
comparisons seemed so fitting that we’ve been accused of constructing
the list with those results in mind.
But nobody could accuse the Empress of being/this/ well organized: *This
week: Each of the above 17 items appeared in a different Style
Invitational compare/contrast contest from 1996 to 2014. Explain how any
two of them are alike or different or otherwise linked, *as in the
examples above.
Winner gets the Inkin’ Memorial
,
the Lincoln statue bobblehead that is the official Style Invitational
trophy. Second place receives an eerily realistic life-size cardboard
cutout photo of President Obama,
donated
by 12-time Loser Dean Evangelista. The cutout folds up, so we can mail
it, but the winner will still have to wait till after May 30, because
the Loser Community is absolutely going to use this as a prop during the
Flushies, the Losers’ annual awards lunch.(See this week’s Style
Conversational for details.)
Other runners-up win their choice of a yearned-for Loser Mug
or the ardently
desired “Whole Fools” Grossery Bag.
Honorable
mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet designed by Bob Staake: either
“The Wit Hit the Fan”
or
“Hardly Har-Har.”
First
Offenders receive a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink
for their first ink). E-mail entries to /losers@washpost.com
/ or, if you were born in the 19th century,
fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday night, April 27; results
published May 17 (online May 14). You may submit up to 25 entries per
contest. Include “Week 1120” in your e-mail subject line or it might be
ignored as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number
with your entry. See contest rules and guidelines at wapo.st/InvRules
. The headline for this week’s results is by
Tom Witte; the honorable-mentions subhead is by Chris Doyle. Join the
lively Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at /on.fb.me/invdev
./ “Like” the Style Invitational Ink of the Day
on Facebook at /bit.ly/inkofday. /
*The Style Conversational: * The Empress’s weekly online column, posted
late Thursday, discusses each new contest and set of results. Especially
if you plan to enter, check it out at wapo.st/styleconv
.
And the results of the Style Invitational contest posted four weeks ago
. . .
INKING GLOBALLY: THE PLACE-NEOLOGISMS OF WEEK 1116:
In Week 1116, we asked you to come up with a new term using the letters
of a place name and define it; you didn’t have to use all the letters
but you couldn’t reuse them.
4th place:
From “Florida”: *La Froid:* A state where global warming can’t happen
.
(Don Druker, Rockville, Md., who got his only previous Invite ink in
Week 94, back in 1995)
3rd place:
From “Dallas”:*Sallad:* In North Texas, the sprig of parsley on top of
your T-bone. (Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.)
2nd place and the Creepy Horse Man dashboard thingie:
From “Montana”: *Not-a-man:* Someone who neither hunts nor fishes. (Mark
Raffman)
And the winner of the Inkin’ Memorial:
From “Russia”: *USSRia:* Putin’s grand vision. (Peter Jenkins, Bethesda,
Md.)
Down under: honorable mentions
From “Boca Raton”: *Baconrot:* A skin condition combining advanced age
and severe tan. “My grandmother lies by her condo pool all day, working
on her baconrot.” (Bird Waring, Larchmont, N.Y.)
From “Benghazi”: *Ba-zing!:* Audience cry heard at tea party rallies
every time there’s an attack on you-know-who. (Robert Schechter, Dix
Hills, N.Y.)
From “San Francisco”: *Cancan of Sirs:* Annual line dance on Castro
Street. (Christopher Damm, Charles Town, W.Va.)
From “Buffalo”: *Off-blu:* Common Northern skin tone. (Gregory Huyck,
Frederick, Md., a First Offender)
From “Des Moines”: *Demnoises:* Thunderings that Iowans hear every four
years from outsiders proclaiming themselves huge fans of ethanol and all
other things corn. May be drowned out this year by gopnoises. (Jim
Stiles, Rockville, Md.)
From“Montgomery County”
:
*Countermom:* Someone who knows what’s best for someone else’s children.
(Ward Kay, Vienna, Va.)
From “Saskatchewan”: *Eh-tack: *An inoffensive offensive. (Kevin Dopart,
Washington)
From “Boston”: “Turn off the storm, *Snobot.*” “I’m sorry, Dave. I’m
afraid I can’t do that.” (Julia Shawhan, Silver Spring, Md.)
From “Charlottesville”: *Chattelover:* What gossips called the original
owner of Monticello. (Amy Harris, Charlottesville, Va., a First Offender)
From “Leicester”: *Restlice:* Agitated, itchy and crawling with bugs.
Hey, you would be too, if you’d been buried under a parking lot for 530
years
.
(Roy Ashley, Washington)
From “Potomac”: *TooPAC:* Collect checks from yo’ friends and wife.
Cross the bridge, living the Smug Life!” (Todd DeLap, Fairfax, Va.)
From “Indianapolis”: *Spinload:* Calling discrimination “religious
freedom.” (George-Ann Rosenberg, Washington)
From “Saint Petersburg”: *Putin Tears:* Regret over countries not
invaded and enemies still alive. (Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase, Md.)
From “Silver Spring”:*Essing:* Adding an “s”where it doesn’t belong
.
(Ted Weitzman, Olney, Md.)
From “Los Angeles”: *All-Egoness:* Every city needs a motto. (Jeff
Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)
From “Beverly Hills”: *Bellyshrivel:* What most of the town’s doctors
do. (Frank Osen, Pasadena, Calif.)
From “Key West”: *Styweek:* Spring break. (Mary Kappus, Washington)
From “Austin”:*Anti-Us:* How the rest of Texas regards residents of the
state capital, and vice versa. (Frank Osen)
From “Silicon Valley”: *Evillainy:* What’s causing hackers to date your
data. (Frank Osen)
From “Silicon Valley”: *“No Evil”? Silly:* Google’s revised motto after
it decided that privacy and profit don’t mix. (Gary Crockett)
From “North Carolina”: *TarHail: *Welcome, y’all! (Dave Komornik,
Danville, Va.)
From “Charleston”: *HaSnort:* Snooty reaction of a South Carolinian
touring the West Virginia capital. (Dave Komornik)
From “Abu Dhabi”: *Dubbiah: *Well-known provider of air bases. (Jack
McBroom, Fort Valley, Va.)
From “Georgetown”: *GoreWon:* Old bumper sticker still seen on Volvos in
D.C. neighborhoods. (George-Ann Rosenberg)
From “Phoenix”: *Nixhope:* Welcome center for undocumented immigrants.
(Ellen Raphaeli, Falls Church, Va.)
From “Cartagena, Colombia”:*Cab, gal, erotomania:* Only one of these is
an authorized Secret Service travel expense. (Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.)
From “Washington”: *WagNosh:* A Style Invitational Loser brunch. (John
O’Byrne, Dublin, who has come over from Ireland to at least two of them)
From “Mississippi”: *MissPissi:* Deep South term for a cranky store
clerk. (Dan Steinbrocker, Los Angeles)
From “Ponder, Texas”: *Dope sex rant:* Why my neighbors avoid me. (Chris
Doyle, Ponder, Tex.)
// *Still running — deadline Monday night, April 20: Our contest to name
and describe new colors. See bit.ly/invite1119.
*