Textravaganza: Bob Staake’s play on a 12-letter word for Style
Invitational Week 1086. (Bob Staake for The Washington Post)
By Pat Myers August 21 feedback for 'Style Invitational Week 1086: Play the dozens with
12-letter words'>

(Click here to skip down <#report> to the results of our contest to
slightly change the name of a music group.)

*Textravaganza: A previously enjoyable family dinner. *

*Extravaganja: Rocky Mountain Highest.* **

*Exbravaganza: At this women’s festival, they’re letting it all hang out. *

But it’s an unofficial Loser T-shirt, this week’s second prize.

Along with the limericks and the horse names and the Your Mama jokes,
The Style Invitational never strays too long from one neologism contest
or another. The last one was eight weeks ago, when we asked you to
combine halves of two hyphenated words in the paper; now we’re back to a
variation of our famous change-by-one-letter contest, this one suggested
by Chris Doyle, the highest-scoring Loser ever:

*1. Start with any 12-letter word, name or multi-word phrase.*

*2. Add one letter OR drop one letter OR substitute another letter OR
switch the positions of two letters to create a new term, as in the
examples above.* (Adding or dropping will result in a 11- or 13-letter

*3. Define or describe the result humorously.* You might use the word in
a funny sentence. You might also use the word in an unfunny sentence, if
you’d like the Empress to roll her eyes and fill her wastebasket further.

Winner gets the Inkin’ Memorial
the Lincoln statue bobblehead that is the official Style Invitational
trophy. Second place receives a T-shirt that, while not one of our
official Loser T-shirts, is a handsome school-bus-yellow T-shirt that
says, “It’s Official! You’re a Loser.” Which is close. Donated by Invite
Hall of Famer Elden Carnahan, who also gave us a huge stack of various
Loser T-shirts he’d won since Year 1 (we’re now in Year 22). We’ll
continue to offer those (dust) collector’s items occasionally as
runner-up prizes.

*Other runners-up * win their choice of a yearned-for Loser Mug
or the ardently
desired “Whole Fools” Grossery Bag.
mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet, either the Po’ Wit Laureate

or Puns of Steel.
Offenders receive a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink

for their first ink). E-mail entries to /losers@washpost.com
/ or, if you were born in the 19th century,
fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, Sept. 1; results published
Sept. 21 (online Sept. 18). No more than 25 entries per entrant per
contest. Include “Week 1086” in your e-mail subject line or it might be
ignored as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number
with your entry. See contest rules and guidelines at wapo.st/InvRules
. This week’s honorable-mentions subhead is by
Jeff Contompasis; the alternative headline for the “next week’s results”
line is by Tom Witte. Join the lively Style Invitational Devotees group
on Facebook at /on.fb.me/invdev ,/ and click
“like” on Style Invitational Ink of the Day at /bit.ly/inkofday.

*The Style Conversational: * The Empress’s weekly online column
discusses each new contest and set of results. Especially if you plan to
enter, check it out at wapo.st/styleconv

And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . .

BAND ON THE PUN: THE RESULTS OF WEEK 1082: In Week 1082, we asked you
to slightly change the name of a music
performer or band and then describe it in some way, such as what song
the band played.

The Empress received a deluge of some 2,200 suggestions
— a SXSW of name puns. A number of great names weren’t quite matched by
their descriptions; among them are *Keith Suburban, Sid Viscous, Creche
Test Dummies, Lynryd Cohen, Sheryl Cro-Magnon, Minivan Halen, Duron
Duron, Carport Convention, the Siberian Trans Orchestra, Eric Clap,
Lycan Tina Turner, the Tijuana Bris, the Filth Dimension, the Bee Geez
Us, Miley Vyrus* and*David Owie. *

The winner of the Inkin’ Memorial:

Kerry & the Peacemakers:
*Nobody bought his “We Can Work It Out,” so he’s currently singing a
cover of “When Doves Cry.” (Frank Osen, Pasadena, Calif.)

2nd place and the belt decorated with misspelled Rolling Stones songs

*Tennessee Ernie Fraud:
*Aha! Company store records show that he actually loaded only 15 tons!
(Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.)

3rd place

*Iron, Maiden: *A
notoriously anti-feminist band. (J. Calvin Smith, Talking Rock, Ga.)

4th place

*NORAD Jones’s * big hit
was “Bomb Away With Me.” (Marc Shapiro, Alexandria, Va., a First Offender)

Bottom 40: honorable mentions

*The Village Peephole: *
Hmm, maybe you /don’t/ want to stay at the YMCA . . . (Beverley Sharp)

*The Chris Christie Minstrels:
* Mistakenly believed to
have recorded “Bridge Over Troubled Water.” (Joe Godles, Bethesda, Md.)

*Pink Freud: * “Hey!
Teacher! Leave them ids alone.” (Jeff Shirley, Richmond, Va.)

*Olivia Neutron-Bomb: *
Her music won’t break a glass, but it kills any human who happens to
hear it. (Elden Carnahan, Laurel, Md.)

*Paxl Rose:

* This star of Guns ’N Doses opened the Pharm Aid concert. (Chris Doyle,
Ponder, Tex.)

*Naomi & Wynonna Fudd: *
Dazzling crowds with “Wockin’ With the Whythm of the Wain.” (Barry Koch,
Catlett, Va.)

*They Might Be Gents: *
Cross-dressing alternative rock band. (Jill Renkey, Frederick, Md.)

*Crosby Steals Hash of Young:
* Possibly the reason the
band broke up. (Jay Cummings, Greenbelt, Md.)

*OREO Speedwagon: * They
hit No. 1 with “Can’t Fight This Filling.” (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)

*NoXS: * They would be most grateful
for a cup of water in the greenroom, and any color M&M’s,
please. (Jeffrey
Wolfson, Potomac, Md.)

*The Bee Pees: * This
“pop” act recorded “How Can You Mend a Broken Well?” (Mark Raffman,
Reston, Va.)

** *Run-D.M.V.: * They’re
surly as hell, but people still wait for hours in line to see them.
(Mark Raffman)

** *The Fifth Dementia: *
“Would you like to ride on my beautiful baboon?” (Beverley Sharp)

*Dionne Warlock *hit it
big with “That’s What Fiends Are For.” (Dann Sklarew, Arlington, Va.)

*Urp, Wind & Fire: * They
did the new Taco Bell jingle. (Andy Schotz, Thurmont, Md., a First

*Alices in Chairs:* This
old-school group literally rocks! (Margaret Welsh, Oakton, Va.; Stephen
Dudzik, Olney, Md.)

*Johnny C. Ash: *He
actually fell into a ring of fire. (Chris Doyle; Christopher Damm,
Charles Town, W.Va.)

*Maria Callous *bitterly
wrote Jackie about her ex, Aristotle Onassis: “Beware of Greeks wearing
lifts.” (Howard Walderman, Columbia, Md.)

*Kraft-Twerk: * German
synth rock with “Shake das Booty.” (Rob Huffman, Fredericksburg, Va.)

*The Five Stains: * They
had that big doo-wop hit “In the Spill of the Night.” (Roy Ashley,

*Frank Snotra: * Ol’ Red
Nose is back! (Mike Ostapiej, Mount Pleasant, S.C.)

*Dank Sinatra: *“I’ve Got
You Under My Sink.” (Roy Ashley)

* * *Crazy Hoarse
* recently celebrated when
Tom Waits lost his
copyright infringement lawsuit against them. (John Shea, Philadelphia)

* * *The Belch Boys:
* Their hits included
“Burpin’ U.S.A.” and “The Little Old Lady With Gas Edema” (Mark Raffman)

*Cialis Cooper: *“I’m
Eighteen (plus 48).” (Seth Tucker, Washington)

*Gurney: * The reinvented
power-pop band scored with the seniors’ rock anthem “Please Stop
Relievin’.” (Paul Kocak, Syracuse, N.Y.)

*Boston Pop Orchestra: *
Famed for its rendition of the “1812” Overture with giant rolls of
bubble wrap. (Pam Sweeney, Burlington, Mass.)

*Paul Sanka: * Did a hit
cover of “Waking Up Is Hard to Do.” (Roy Ashley)

*The Bland: * Gentle
Americana like “The Night They Drove Aunt Dixie Down to the
Supermarket.” (John Shea)

*Nixon Airplane:* They
topped the charts with “Somebody to Kick.” (Tom Witte, Montgomery
Village, Md.)

*Borenaked Ladies:* They
leave behind disappointed groupies wherever they tour. (Pam Sweeney)

*Tammy Whynot: *She stood
by her man — and everyone else’s. (Mae Scanlan, Washington)

*Gordon Leadfoot* : “The
Wreck of Edmund Fitzgerald’s Ferrari.” (Steve McClemons, Arlington, Va.)

*FLABBA:* Toothsome Swedes
hit it big with “Dairy Queen” and “Can’t Get My Pants on Me.” (Rob
Huffman; Rob Wolf, Gaithersburg, Md.)


Their biggest hit began, “There once was a boy named Fernando. . .”
(Mark Raffman)

*The Violent Phlegms* and
*Public Enema:* For some
reason, no one buys front-row tickets to their concerts. (Chris Doyle;
Jon Gearhart, Des Moines)

*The Self-Righteous Brothers:
*How DARE you lose that
lovin’ feelin’! (Steve McClemons)

*Ke¢ha: * Her manager is
from theColonel Tom Parker
Agency. (Kevin Dopart, Washington)

*Adele Dazeem:

*“See, I only altered her name slightly . . . isn’t it obvious?!” — J.
Travolta (May Jampathom, Oakhurst, N.J.)

*Cyndi Pauper: * Famed for
“Dime After Dime” and Girls Just Wanna Have Funds.” (Jon Gearhart)

*Cyndi Leper:* Her career peaked with “Toe after Toe.” Then everything
fell apart. (David Friedman, Arlington, Va.)

*The Polite:* “I’ll be
watching you, as long as it doesn’t make you feel uncomfortable.”
(Robert Schechter, Dix Hills, N.Y.)

/And Last:/ *Ink Floyd:*
“We don’t need no erudition, we don‘t need no taste control. . . ”
(Bruce Carlson, Alexandria, Va.)

*Still running — deadline Monday night: Our contest for ideas for
souvenirs from real and imagined gift shops. See bit.ly/invite1085.

*Next week’s results: Everybody Get Appy, *or *Game of Phones,* a
contest for imagined new apps. See bit.ly/invite1083