Style Invitational Week 1076: Double dactyls and ScrabbleGrams neologisms




(Bob Staake for The Washington Post )
Pat Myers
June 12

Higgledy piggledy,
House Speaker “Boehner”: it
Reads a bit sexy, but
Spoke, it’s benign.

Which is appropriate,
Etymologically.
There is no stiffness: He
Hasn’t the spine.
/(The Czar)/

Rickety rackety,
“Rosie the Riveter”
Turned in her apron to
Work with the guys;

Found that she liked her new
Employability —
That’s why you have to eat
Frozen pot pies.

/(Beverley Sharp, Week 901 obit poem)/


Yet another in our series of Weird Snow Domes that we’re using as second
prizes: A “Manneken Pis” fro Brussels, with a rather unusual fountain.
(Pat Myers)

The Empress has been in a higgledy-piggledy mood since crashing the West
Chester Poetry Conference in the Philadelphia area last weekend. After I
gave a talk about song parodies, Genuine Poet
Kevin
Durkin — who’s also managing editor of the poetry journal Light — asked
if the Invite ever did double-dactyl contests, because really, we
should. The Empress’s predecessor, the Czar,
did do a DD contest —
in 1994.
So
I guess it’s time to give it another go.

*The double dactyl* is a form invented by writers Anthony Hecht and Paul
Pascal on a whim over lunch in Rome in 1951.

While this week we’re not following every one of the pair’s many rules —
we won't insist, for instance, that the six-syllable word cannot have
been used in a previous double dactyl — we’re still not letting you off
easy. I’ve asked the Czar himself to put forth the rules for this week’s
contest, using his own poem above as an example:

●A double-dactyl poem consists of *two mini-stanzas, each with four
short lines.*
●The first, second and third lines of each stanza each contain six
syllables in double-dactyl meter: *DUM-dee-dee DUM-dee-dee.* The fourth
line is just four syllables:*DUM-dee-dee-DUM. *
●The two DUM-dee-dee-DUM *fourth lines have to rhyme *with each other.
●The first line must be a *rhyming *

*nonsense phrase.*
●The poem must be *about a specific person* and must include at least
some part of his name. (It’s usually in the second line, but we won’t
insist.) ●Finally, one line must be a *six-syllable word* or hyphenated
term. And of course, it’s also in the DUM-dee-dee, DUM-dee-dee
double-dactyl meter, like “etymologically” in the poem above.

Winner gets the Inkin’ Memorial
,
the Lincoln statue bobblehead that is the official Style Invitational
trophy. Second place wins a souvenir snow dome from Brussels
, featuring a
little “Manneken Pis” statue that seems to be producing a fountain of .
. . I guess it’s snow. Donated by Continual Snow Globe Donor Cheryl Davis.

*Other runners-up *win their choice of a yearned-for Loser Mug
or the ardently
desired “Whole Fools” Grossery Bag.
Honorable
mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet, either the Po’ Wit Laureate

or Puns of Steel.
First
Offenders receive a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink

for their first ink). E-mail entries to /losers@washpost.com
/ or, if you were born in the 19th century,
fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, June 23; results published July
13 (online July 10). No more than 25 entries per entrant per contest.
Include “Week 1076” in your e-mail subject line or it might be ignored
as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number with
your entry. See contest rules and guidelines at wapo.st/InvRules
. This week’s honorable-mentions subhead is by
Jeff Contompasis; the alternative headline in the “next week’s results”
line is by Tom Witte. Join the lively Style Invitational Devotees group
on Facebook at /on.fb.me/invdev ,/ and click
“like” on Style Invitational Ink of the Day at /bit.ly/inkofday.
/

*The Style Conversational *The Empress’s weekly online column discusses
each new contest and set of results. Especially if you plan to enter,
check it out at wapo.st/styleconv
.

REPORT FROM WEEK 1072: THE TILE INVITATIONAL: Week 1072 was our second
contest in which we listed several dozen
seven-letter sets from ScrabbleGrams, a word-unscrambling game that
appears daily in The Post, and asked you to create new five-, six- or
seven-letter terms from any set of letters and define them. (We also
welcomed clever definitions of existing words.)

There were 42 separate
definitions for “vexpert,” while numerous people defined “smirque” as
what the French do when they hear your accent.

The winner of the Inkin’ Memorial

AAURGJN *→ Uganja: *Country ruled by the surprisingly mellow dictator
Weedy Amin. (Brendan Beary, Great Mills, Md.)

2nd place and the two books about poo:

IYBLPSM →*Blimpsy: *Talented graffiti artist

whose career was cut short by difficulty running from the authorities.
(David Ballard, Reston, Va.)

3rd place

AUEALGB →*Gabuela:* A granny who can’t keep her /boca/ shut. (Mae
Scanlan, Washington)

4th place

OIMDGSZ →*OMGDS:* Socrates’ final text. (Dave Zarrow, Reston, Va.)

RACKS OF LAME: HONORABLE MENTIONS

(First Offenders are marked with an asterisk)

/AEGHTCD /→*Dechat:* Shut up. (Joy Sibley, Fairfax, Va.)
*HATEDC:* Four hundred members of Congress applied for this D.C. license
plate. (Jim Stiles, Rockville, Md.)

/AEUHBP/→*Pheau:* Knockoff perfume. (Mike Gips, Bethesda, Md.)*
*

/AINDLTN/
*Nitland:* Elementary school. (Peyton Coyner, Afton, Va.; Brad
Alexander, Wanneroo, Australia)*
Nitland:* Laos. (Chris Doyle, Kihei, Hawaii)
*Nat lid:* A hat with a curly W. (Bill Rippey, Montgomery Village, Md.)

/AOAOLHM
/ *Aloham:* Meaning “hello, bringer of bacon” /and/ “goodbye, you pig.”
(Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase, Md.)
*Maolah:* The bribe to the Beijing party commissioner. (Tom Witte,
Montgomery Village, Md.)

/AOAYMND →/ *Moanday:* Three days after thanking God for Friday a little
too much. (Edward Gordon, Austin)

/AUEALGB /
*AA-bulge:* The result of eating every time you feel the urge for a
drink. (*David Adlerstein, Apalachicola, Fla.)
*AA-bulge:* The result of choosing too small a bra size. (Hugh Thirlway,
The Hague)*
Galbeau:* Transgender heartthrob (David Ballard) *
Glube:* What you get if you mix Elmer’s with K-Y Jelly. (Danielle
Nowlin, Fairfax Station, Va.) *
Begaul:* Try to impress with French expressions. “That pompous jerk kept
begauling me with /‘ma cherie.’/ (Chris Doyle)

/EAYLTGL / → *Gaytell:* The easiest way to get your own TV show when
you’re a seventh-round draft pick. (Matt Monitto, Bristol, Conn.)

/EEANPHX/
*Ape-ex:* The epitome of bad former boyfriends. (Danielle Nowlin) *
Pheanex:* In your University of Phoenix application essay, close enough.
(Gary Crockett)

// /EEVTPXR/
*Vexpert:* One who knows which buttons to push. (Mike Gips)
*Vexpert:* The quicker ticker-offer. (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)*
Texperv:* A Redskins fan in Dallas. (John Shea, Philadelphia) *
Ex-perv: *A dead man (Alex Jeffrey, Columbia, Md.)

/EUEWRLF →/ *Fewrule: *The needs of the ultra-rich outweigh the needs of
... who are you again? (Lawrence McGuire, Waldorf, Md.)

/EUIMRSQ/
*Rimsqué:* Teetering on the edge of lewdness. “The ‘2 Girls Go Shopping
for 1 Cup’ video was only rimsqué.” (Christopher Lamora, Los Angeles) *
E-squirm:* What you do after confusing “reply” with “reply all.” (*Luci
Weigel, Vienna, Va.)

/IATWRHM /
*Hitmwa: *The kiss of death. (Tom Witte)
*Hamwit: *Elmer Fudd does Shakespeare! (Jeff Shirley, Richmond, Va.) *
Whamit: *Do-it-yourself TV repair instructions. (Beverley Sharp,
Montgomery, Ala.)

/IENMVRN/ } *Nvermin:* Mr. Boehner’s nickname for Ms. Pelosi. (Barry
Koch, Catlett, Va.)

/I/ /IODNDSR/
*Oddrsin:* A bizarre fetish, e.g, the compulsion to French-kiss the
finger holes in bowling balls. (David Garratt, Silver City, N.M.) *
Snordid: *Sleazy yet dull. “That reality show ‘Brothel Accountants’ sure
is snordid.” (Larry Gray)

// /I/ /IYBLPSM
/ *Smilby:* A photo-bomb. (*Jamie Martindale, McLean) *
* *PMSibyl:* The personality you /really/ don’t want to see come out.
(Nan Reiner, Alexandria, Va.)

/IYTMSFL/
*Timsfly:* According to the NCAA “Tebow Rule,” messages aren’t allowed
there either. (*Thom Link, Washington)
*Flymist: *What’s left between a rolled-up Post and the window. (*Ken
Linder, Arlington)

/OAHMRFT
/ *Hamfort: *The Third Little Pig’s abode. (Ginny Cooper, Columbia, Md.)
*Homfart: *Where no one can hear you steam. (Bob Brown, Alexandria, Va.)

/OANDGRN
/ *Drag-onn: *The fourth volume of a fantasy “epic” (Gerald Diamond,
London, Ontario)
*NRA-dong:* The pistol in your pocket. (Kathy El-Assal, Middleton, Wis.)

/OAOERDF →/ *Frodeo: *Dragon-wranglin’ and Orc-ropin’ down the shire
(Craig Dykstra, Centreville, Va.)

/ORHNLGT →/ *Longth: * The correspondering measure to an object’s
wideitude. — G.W.B., Crawford, Tex. (Brendan Beary)

/OEADNHX/ → *Headnox: *Where the Three Stooges went to school. (Joanne
Free, Clifton, Va.)

/OIENZRC / →*Zero Inc.:* Surprisingly candid name for a technology
startup. (*Jim Derby, Rockville, Md.)

/UAUTMPS / → *U-Stamp-U: *Ill-conceived scheme in which the ticket gates
at stadium concerts are replaced by the honor system. (John Kammer,
South Riding, Va.)

/UEURMRM / → *Remumu:* What Mama Cass used to do at intermission. (Frank
Osen, Pasadena, Calif.)

/And last: ORWNWN / → *Winworn: *Weary from dusting all the mugs and
bobbleheads in the trophy room.(Ellen Raphaeli, Falls Church, Va.)

*First Offenders

*Still running — deadline Monday: Our contest for automotive fictoids.
See bit.ly/invite1075. *

Next week’s results: *Mess With (Y)our Heads, *or *Dismembrance of
Things Post,* our perennial contest to follow a headline with a “bank
head” that changes its meaning. See bit.ly/invite1073
.