Style Invitational Week 1070: Colt following — the winning foal names,
and now ‘grandfoals’
By Pat Myers
,
Published: May 1
For the ninth straight year, we trot the horses right back onto the
track for a “grandfoals” contest: *“Breed” any two of the foal names
that got ink this week and name the offspring to reflect the parents’
names,* in the style of the dozens of first-generation combinations that
get ink today. Just as for the Week 1066 contest — results below — the
names are limited to 18 characters including spaces and punctuation
marks. Don’t “breed” three horses together, and don’t breed two names to
come up with another name on the list. And as always, you may submit as
many as 25 names.
Winner gets the Inkin’ Memorial
,
the Lincoln statue bobblehead that is the official Style Invitational
trophy. Second place receives TWO glamorous prizes, and they’re both to
eat: a pack of Crick-ettes dried cricket snacks, sour cream and onion
flavor (“Servings: 1; Calories: 9”) AND a lollipop with an embedded
cricket, discourtesy of Mike Gips. In neither delicacy has the slightest
effort been made to hide its cricketude: They’re complete brown bugs.
*Other runners-up *win their choice of a yearned-for Loser Mug
or the ardently
desired “Whole Fools” Grossery Bag.
Honorable
mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet, either the Po’ Wit Laureate
or Puns of Steel.
First
Offenders receive a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink
for their first ink). E-mail entries to /losers@washpost.com
/ or, if you were born in the 19th century,
fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, May 12; results published June
1 (online May 29). No more than 25 entries per entrant per contest.
Include “Week 1070” in your e-mail subject line or it might be ignored
as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number with
your entry. See contest rules and guidelines at wapo.st/InvRules
. This week’s honorable-mentions subhead is by
Kevin Dopart; the alternative headline in the “Next week’s results” line
was submitted by both Beverley Sharp and Chris Doyle. Join the lively
Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at /on.fb.me/invdev
,/ and click “like” on Style Invitational Ink of
the Day at /bit.ly/inkofday. /
*The Style Conversational *The Empress’s weekly online column discusses
each new contest and set of results. Especially if you plan to enter,
check it out at wapo.st/styleconv .
*PUN FOR THE ROSES: THE WINNERS OF WEEK 1066: In our 20th annual running of the Invitational’s most popular recurring contest, we paraded a list of 100 of the 3-year-old racehorses nominated
for this weekend’s Kentucky Derby and the rest of racing’s Triple Crown,
and asked readers to “breed” any two names to produce a “foal” whose
name cleverly reflected those of the parents — as do the names of many
real racehorses.
This year’s field — totaling several thousand entries from more than
300 breeders — was perhaps the cleverest the Empress has seen in the 12
of these contests she’s judged. If your incredibly ingenious foal
failed to get ink, it’s not alone. Racing luck, you know? But you might
be able to vary it slightly for this week’s “grandfoal” contest.
Just a few of the very good entries submitted by too many people to be
credited individually: Breeding Cairo Prince x Deceived to produce
Pyramid Schemer, or Egypt Me; Constitution x Oogeley Eye = We the
Peephole. Dozens of people did something about Bernie “Made Off” and
“Crimea River.” And a few too many bred Undertaker and Guggenheim to
produce the otherwise highly inkworthy More Titian.
*THE WINNER OF THE INKIN’ MEMORIAL *
*Toast of New York x General A Rod = Toast in New York* (Jim Stiles,
Rockville, Md.)
*/2nd place and the 2009 souvenir Derby hat:/
*
*Best Plan Yet x Cut the Net = Best Pla_ Y__ *(Pie Snelson, Silver
Spring, Md.)
*3rd place: *
*I Earned It Baby x Undertaker = I Urned It Baby* (Pam Sweeney,
Burlington, Mass; Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase, Md.)
*4th place*
*Russian Humor x Constitution = What Constitution?* (Roy Ashley,
Washington)
*PONY EXCESS: HONORABLE MENTIONS*
*Toast of New York x Wry = Bagel and a Sneer *(Perry Beider, Silver
Spring, Md.)
*Commanding Curve x All Tied Up = Bank and Trussed* (Gary Crockett)
*Fire Starter x All Tied Up = Arson a Sling* (Dudley Thompson, Cary, N.C.)
*Fascinating Rock x No Nay Never = The Nope Diamond *(Jennifer Rubio,
Viennam Va,)
*Deceived x Cut the Net = UConned* (Mike Gips, Bethesda, Md.)
*Streaming x Financial Mogul = Wizzer of Wall St.* (Laura Bennett
Peterson, Washington)
*Guggenheim x Twenty Percent = Gu* (Craig Dykstra, Centreville, Va.)
*Candy Boy x Life Is a Joy = Peter Paul & Merry *(Jonathan Paul, Garrett
Park, Md.)
*No Nay Never x Gift Diamond = OK, Just This Once* (Mark Hagenau, Derry,
N.H.)
*Athens x Fire Starter = Pi Rho* (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.; Pam
Sweeney)
*Life Is a Joy x Only I Know = So Buy My Book * (Josh Feldblyum,
Philadelphia)
*Rise Up x Excessive Kid = Coup de Tot* (Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.)
*Effinex x Coastline = That Beach* (Beth Morgan, Palo Alto, Calif.)
*Guggenheim x Harpoon = Abstract Dart* (Kathryn Perry, Fort Worth, Tex.,
a First Offender)
*Oogeley Eye x Commanding Curve = Alien Wife Form *(Danielle Nowlin,
Woodbridge, Va.)
*Brilliant Mess x Poker Player = Lindsay Lowhand* (Steve Honley,
Washington)
*Poker Player x Matador = Hoyle of Ole *(John McCooey, Rehoboth Beach,
Del.)
*Scotland x Matador = Kilty as Charged *(Katherine Wolf, Gaithersburg,
Md., a First Offender)
*Midnight Hawk x Bobby’s Kitten = Midnight Snack* (Warren Tanabe,
Annapolis, Md.; Diana Oertel, San Francisco)
*Misconnect x Mr Speaker = Off on a Tan Gent *(Dave Silberstein, College
Park, Md.)
*Mr Speaker x Twenty Percent = Tip *(Harvey Smith, McLean, Va.; Howard
Walderman, Columbia, Md.)
*Mr Speaker x Russian Humor = Cry Me a Ribber *(Nan Reiner, Alexandria, Va.)
*Noble Moon x Streaming = Lunar E-Clips* (Steve Shapiro; Kelly Ronayne,
both of Alexandria)
*Our Caravan x Fire Starter = Pack of Camels* (Danny Bravman, Chicago)
*Russian Humor x No Nay Never = Nothin’ but Nyet* (Mark Raffman, Reston,
Va.; Craig Dykstra; Kathy Hardis Fraeman, Olney, Md.)
*Athens x The Custodian = Greece Is the Ward* (Nan Reiner)
*Athens x Harpoon = Olympic Spear-It *(Kathryn Perry)
*Crushed It x Athens = Homer *(Nancy Israel, Bethesda, Md.; Kevin
Dopart, Washington)
*Best Plan Yet x Deceived = YouCanKeepYourPlan *(Mark Raffman)
*Commanding Curve x All Tied Up = Commanding Perv* (Tom Witte,
Montgomery Village, Md.)
*Scotland x Harpoon = Plaid the Impaler *(Roy Ashley)
*Russian Humor x Uncle Sigh = Vlad the Inhaler* (Kathye Hamilton,
Annandale, Va.)
*Scotland x Vegas Strip = Clans Casino* (Dave Silberstein)
*Skydive x Smack Smack = Splat Splat* (Tom Witte)
*Vicar’s in Trouble x Skydive = Parish Hooters* (Jeff Shirley, Richmond,
Va.)
*Vicar’s in Trouble x Smack Smack = Heresy’s Kisses *(Jeff Contompasis;
Christopher Lamora, Los Angeles)
*Sportscaster x Candy Boy = Gregg Gumball *(Mia Wyatt, Ellicott City,
Md.; Kathye Hamilton)
*Exit Stage Left x California Chrome = Parting Glints * (Frank Osen,
Pasadena, Calif.)
*Noble Moon x Hoppertunity = Keister Bunny *(Jeff Shirley)
*Big Bazinga x Flat Gone = Age Plus Gravity *(Warren Tanabe)
*Big Tire x Scotland = The Wheel McCoy* (Robert Schechter, Dix Hills, N.Y.)
*Bourbonize x Bobby’s Kitten = Louis Cat Toys* (Dudley Thompson)
*Ride On Curlin x Bourbonize = Ride On Hurlin* (Mary Lee Fox Roe, Mount
Kisco, N.Y.)
*Ring Weekend x Harpoon = Tolkien’BoutShaft *(Andrew Hoenig, Rockville,
Md.)
*Culprit x Cairo Prince = Perp’ll Reign* (Kevin Dopart)
*Charge Now x Gift Diamond = Ion the Prize* (Kevin Dopart)
*Commandment x Superlooper = ThouShaltKnotSteel *(Dudley Thompson)
*Financial Mogul x Commandment = Dow Shalt Not *(Steve Price, New York)
*Got Lucky x Commandment = Tryst and Shalt *(Jeff Shirley)
*The Custodian x Commandment = Janitorah *(Laurie Brink, Cleveland, Mo.)
*Commanding Curve x Deceived = Pitch Set Me Up *(Chris Doyle)
*Pax in Terra x Crushed It = Gloria in Eggshells *(Steve Honley)
*Mental Iceberg x Cut the Net = Brain Frees* (Ben Aronin, Arlington, Va.)
*Dunkin Bend x Spot = Cruller DeVil *(Gina Smith, Germantown, Md.)
*Exit Stage Left x Our Caravan = Gettin Outta Dodge *(Lorri Mechem,
Warrenton, Va.)
*Exit Stage Left x Russian Humor = Snagglepussy
Riot *(Peter Jenkins,
Bethesda, Md.)
*Scotland x Fascinating Rock = Loch and Lode* (Elizabeth Kline,
Frederick, Md.; Mike Gips)
*Financial Mogul x Fire Starter = Cash and Carrie* (Bernard Brink,
Cleveland, Mo.)
*Fascinating Rock x Fire Starter = Not Billy Joel!
*(Joanne Free, Clifton, Va.)
*Skydive x Russian Humor = Flatimir Putin* (Neal Starkman, Seattle)
*Guggenheim x Flat Gone = Blank Lloyd Wright* (Danielle Nowlin)
*Pax in Terra x Gift Diamond = Peace and Carats *(Steve Glomb,
Alexandria, Va.)
*Still running — deadline Monday night: Our contest to write a poem
using only the 1,000 most common words. See bit.ly/invite1069
. *
*Next week’s results: * *Attribute to Your Wit, * or *Quotation Mocks, *
our contest to alter a quote slightly and attribute it to someone else.
See bit.ly/invite1067.
© The Washington Post Company