Style Invitational Week 1066 minus 1: Fasten your doublets; plus
crossword clues

By Pat Myers
Thursday, March 20, 3:44 PM

*Sneeze and desist: Don’t come to work sick, for cryin’ out loud!*

*Peace and carats: Slogan for a boycott of “conflict diamonds.” *

Aid and abet . . . over and above . . . cease and desist . . . care and
attention . . . appropriate and proper . . . to have and to hold . . .
null and void . . .lewd and lascivious . . . part and parcel . . .
 For the second straight week, we salute the year 1066 by running a
contest on a different week (we have to do something else next week)
that has very little to do with the year anyway:
 Notice something about the word pairs (mostly legal phrases) listed
above? The words in each pair, or “doublet,” have similar, sometimes
even identical meanings. The reason, explains Loser Doug Frank, is that
after the Norman Conquest, the French invasion of England, some people
in Britain were more familiar with Anglo-Saxon words, while others fared
better in French or Latin. And so, in one of the rare instances of
bureaucracy making things more understandable, legal terms were often
presented in two languages.
 It didn’t take long for the English language to absorb all those French
words anyway, but the redundant pairs have dug in to this day.
 Which, finally, allows us to be even more tangential to this tenuous
link to 1066: *For Week 1065: Slightly alter ANY well-known phrase in
the form “A-and-B” — it doesn’t have to be Latinate/Anglo-Saxon, and it
doesn’t have to be in the list above — and define it,* as in Doug’s
examples above. By “slightly alter,” I mean that it should be clear in
the new version what the old one is.

Winner gets the Inkin’ Memorial
the Lincoln statue bobblehead that is the official Style Invitational
trophy. And second place receives, of course, a pair: a little game
called Pig Jax,
which is
simply a game of jacks but played with little plastic pigs instead of
jacks; and a sizable bag of orange and yellowGummi-like chicken feet
Both donated by Loser Bruce Alter.

*Other runners-up *win their choice of a yearned-for Loser Mug
or the ardently
desired “Whole Fools” Grossery Bag
. Honorable
mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet, either the Po’ Wit Laureate

or Puns of Steel.
Offenders receive a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink

for their first ink). E-mail entries to
or, if you were born in the 19th century,
fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, March 31; results published
April 20 (online April 17), by which time little Washingtonian children
presumably will not have to dig for Easter eggs in the snow. No more
than 25 entries per entrant per week. Include “Week 1065” in your e-mail
subject line or it might be ignored as spam. Include your real name,
postal address and phone number with your entry. See contest rules and
guidelines at . This week’s
honorable-mentions subhead is by Chris Doyle; the alternative headline
in the “next week’s results” line is by Kevin Dopart. Join the lively
Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at
, and click “like” on Style Invitational Ink of
the Day at

*Report from Week 1061, in which the Empress presented the partially filled-in Bob Klahn
crossword shown here, and asked for words — either real or coined ones —
that would fit the individual word-spaces in the grid (they didn’t have
to work as a valid crossword). Here are the best of the thousands of
emtries: Some wouldn’t be out of place in an actual creative crossword;
others, you’ll see, belong only here. (See the complete original at )

*The winner of the Inkin’ Memorial

*16 Across (C - - TE): CASTE:* The role of a lifetime /(Jeff
Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.) /

*Second place, * /Winner of the 2003 (but works in 2014!) “Spam Through
the Ages” calendar:
/ *32 Across (F--S): FEES: *When you lie down with doctors, you get up
with these/(Frank Osen, Pasadena, Calif.) /

*Third place: * *35 Down (-IESINT-): LIES INTO:* A politician does this
with a microphone /(Rebecca Reed, Charlottesville, Va., a First Offender) /

*Fourth place: * *57 Across (-ES--OIN-): TESTLOINS:* People you date,
but don’t marry /(Rob Huffman, Fredericksburg, Va.) /

*Shortz-shrifted: honorable mentions*

*1 Across (SW--D--AN): SWINDLEAN:* A diet program in which you lose only
money /(Elden Carnahan, Laurel, Md.)/
Or . . . *SWAN DIVAN:* A Bjork-alounger /(Dave Silberstein, College
Park, Md.)/

*10 Across (MO-ST): MONST:* What monsters do, duh. /(Tom Witte,
Montgomery Village; Danielle Nowlin, Woodbridge, Va.) /

*15 Across (---EA-EM-): MAKE A MEME:* Post an embarrassing photo of
yourself online /(Mike Gips, Bethesda, Md.) /
Or . . . *NUKE A NEMO:* To microwave fish for dinner /(Mae Scanlan,
Washington) /
Or . . . *JOKE AHEMS:* Polite way to discourage impolite humor /(Elden
Carnahan) /

*17 Across (-L-N-A-E-): CLINGAGER: *35-year-old still living at home
/(Yuki Henninger, Vienna, Va.) /
Or . . . *KLANBAKES:* Bigot banquets. /(Ray Gallucci, Frederick, Md., a
First Offender)/

*18 Across (S-IR-): SNIRI:* Cellphone assistant with attitude: “I said
to turn right, idiot!”/(Barbara Turner, Takoma Park, Md.) /

*19 Across (-N-O): Unno:* Yes /(Larry McClemons, Annandale, Va.)/

*22 Across (US-S): US IS: *Opposite of “you ain’t”/(Bob Brandenburger,
Chester, Md., a First Offender) /

*20 Across (-I--W): SI JEW:*Answer to “Do you sell kosher tacos?” /(Roy
Ashley, Washington) /

*25 Across (JA-): JAR:* One Bink /(Roger Dalrymple, Gettysburg, Pa.)/
Or . . . *JAQ:* Seize control of a Scrabble game /(Ward Kay, Vienna, Va.) /

*27 Across (-A-): GAY: *Iranian term for “does not exist here” /(Mark
Raffman, Reston, Va.)/

*30 Across (--IG--I): ORIGUMI:* The art of sticking cut paper together
with tacky glue because those folding directions are %^&* IMPOSSIBLE
/(Danielle Nowlin) /
Or . . . *URIGAMI:* The art of creating designs by peeing in snow/(Frank

*32 Across (F--S): FOTS:* The results of overeating in Beantown
/(Christopher Lamora, Los Angeles)/

*33 Across (-R--L--): BRIDLED:* What the groom became after the wedding
/(Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.) /

*34 Across (S-O-ID): SLOW ID:* One who seeks immediate gratification
sometime down the road /(Harry Megaw, Fairfax, Va.)/
Or . . . *SHODID:* “Yes” in Southern /(Bird Waring, Larchmont, N.Y.;
Steve Honley, Washington)/

*38 Across (AIR--G-): AIRRUGS:* Toupees in March /(Lawrence McGuire,
Waldorf, Md.) /

*41 Across (-E-TER-): DEUTERO:* Author of the fifth book of the
Bible/(Jim Holt, Washington) /
Or . . . *MEDTERM:* The next election, if everyone’s still talking about
Obamacare /(Frank Osen) /
Or . . . *BESTERD: *A Style Invitational winner who isn’t you /(Seth
Tucker, Washington; Todd DeLap, Fairfax, Va.) /

*54 Across (B--E): BUKE: *To primand /(Mae Scanlan)/

*55 Across (ON-A-): ONEAL:*Amateur athlete Ryan and amateur actor
Shaquille /(Kristen Rahman, Silver Spring, Md./

*57 ACROSS (-ES--OIN-): WEST POINT:* Half of Mae’s bra /(Mike Gips)/
Or . . . *BEST BOINK:* Top honor at the Adult Film Awards /(Jeff
Shirley, Richmond) /
Or . . . *JEST, NO INK: *The story of my life /(Gary Crockett, Chevy
Chase, Md., whose life actually has 181 blots of Invite ink)/

*59 Across (-T-NA): ET DNA:* What was found on Elliott’s finger/(Jim
Stiles, Rockville, Md.)/

*60 Across (-NA---CE): ONANDANCE: * Weekend diversion at boys’ prep
school /(Rich Laska, Barstow, W.Va.) /

*62 Across (N-----K-R): NEW PORKER:* Freshman senator /(Seth Tucker) /
Or . . . *NAN FORKER:* Prissy diner in an Indian restaurant /(Nitin
Kumar, Washington, a First Offender)/
Or . . . *NEE YORKER:* The only excuse for being a Yankees fan in this
area /(Mark Raffman)/

*1 Down (S----S): SMUTTS:* Dogs that hump your leg./(John O’Byrne, Dublin)/

*4 Down (-ENO): LENO:* Jay Zzzzzz /(Roy Ashley)/

*6 Down (--A--A-DGR--): FLACK AND GRAB:* The Washington Way /(Mark
Sheppard, Sterling, Va., a First Offender)/

*9 Down (N---J--): NOT R JOB:* EMS calls at some D.C. firehouses

/(Nan Reiner, Alexandria, Va.)/

Or . . . *NYUKJAW: * Affliction that prematurely ended Curly Howard’s
career with the Three Stooges /(Harold Mantle, Lafayette, Calif.) /

*11 Down (O--U): OBFU:* Initials often cried out during labor. /(Nan
Reiner) /

*13 Down (STR-A-A-): ST REAGAN:* Icon worshiped by GOP hopefuls /(Mark
Raffman; Mae Scanlan)/

*26 Down (-I-L-BO): RIO LUBO:* The Keystone XL pipeline /(Warren Tanabe,
Annapolis, Md.)/

*44 Down (SE-NC-): SEANCE:* It may lead to spirited discussion /(Jeff
Contompasis) /

*45 Down (--E-ER): VREMER:* Signature on that priceless Old Master
painting you discovered at a yard sale. /(Debbie Wagner, Brookeville,
Md.) /

*49 Down (KE--SA-): KEGNSAX: * Party fun in the Clinton White House
/(Jeff Covel, Arlington, Va.) /

*Still running — deadline Monday night: Our contest to change a moment
in history and explain the effect. See

/See the Empress’s online column The Style Conversational
(published late
Thursday), in which she discusses today’s new contest and results along
with news about the Loser Community — and you can vote for your favorite
among the inking entries, since you no doubt figured the Empress chose
the wrong winner. If you’d like an e-mail notification each week when
the Invitational and Conversational are posted online, sign up here
or write to the Empress at (note that in the
subject line) and she’ll add you to the mailing list. And on Facebook,
join the far more lively group Style Invitational Devotees
and chime in there. /

*Next week’s results: The News Could Be Verse, * or *The Bard News
Bearers,* a contest for short poems on current-events themes. See

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