Style Invitational Week 1025: Are you backronimble? Tell us what words
and names ‘stand for’


By Pat Myers
,
Thursday, June 6, 4:53 PM

*Wow! Heroes Eat Anything To Indiscriminately Endorse Something:
Wheaties* /(Marty McCullen)/

*Big Ugly Drunkards Will Enjoy Its Smoothness, Especially Regurgitating:
Budweiser * /(Brendan Beary) /

*Get a Tub Overhead . . . Ready, Aim, Dump Everywhere!: Gatorade *
/(Jesse Frankovich) /

The examples above got ink in our 2005 contest for backronyms: phrases
that pretend to explain what existing terms “stand for.” (The term, if
you choose to believe Wikipedia, seems to have originated right here in
The Post, back in 1983 as an entry by reader Meredith G. Williams in the
early days of Bob Levey’s monthly neologism contest; he spelled it
“bacronym,” but our dictionary
uses the slightly more
readable “backronym.”) Our Week 632 contest

focused on product names, but 13-time Loser Jeff Loren suggests
broadening our de-abbreviated horizons: *This week: Create an original
backronym for a name or other term, especially one that’s been in the
news lately. *You may add articles or short prepositions, such as “the”
or “to,” that begin with letters that aren’t in your term.

Winner receives the Inkin’ Memorial, the Lincoln-statue bobblehead that
is the Style Invitational’s official trophy. Second place gets a
fabulous double prize, from two donors who smuggled their finds into the
country from Europe: first, a roll of toilet paper with euro currency
imprinted on the sheets, taken from Germany by Inge Ashley; and also a
practical-joke roll of No Tear Toilet Paper: “Impossible ‘Paper Work’
for Any ‘Sit-Down Job,’ ” brought all the way back from Sweden (“Kr
20.00”) by Mike Gips, even though it’s an American novelty product made
in China. Yes, yes, we know that the Post Hunt

gave out thousands of dollars in prizes last week.

*Other runners-up *win their choice of a yearned-for Loser Mug

or the ardently desired Grossery Bag
.
Honorable mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet
.
First Offenders receive a smelly, tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink
for their first ink). E-mail entries to /losers@washpost.com
/ or fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is
Monday, June 17; results published July 14 (online July 11). No more
than 25 entries per entrant per week. Include “Week 1025” in your e-mail
subject line or it might be ignored as spam. Include your real name,
postal address and phone number with your entry. See contest rules and
guidelines at wapo.st/inviterules . The
subhead for this week’s honorable mentions is by Jeff Contompasis; the
alternative headline in the “next week’s results” line was submitted
independently by Chris Doyle, Mae Scanlan and Tom Witte. Join the lively
Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at /on.fb.me/invdev
/; follow the Empress on Twitter at @PatMyersTWP.

*/Still running — deadline Monday night — is our “A is for. . .”/“B is
for. . .” couplet contest. See bit.ly/invite1024.
/ *

*Report from Week 1021, in which we supplied a list of seven-letter “racks” used in the daily
ScrabbleGrams puzzle feature, and asked you to make your own, funny
neologisms.

Each of the racks was intended to produce a word no longer
than six letters, but that’s because those poor ScrabbleGrams editors
didn’t have the Loser Community to expand the dictionary for them. It’s
fun to see the various clever permutations of a single rack, so we’ll
run some groups this week, and then more of them two weeks from now.

*The winner of the Inkin’ Memorial*

/AUFWRGF:/ * Gruffaw:* A mocking, dismissive laugh. “Listen, kid, if you
can’t take the constant gruffaws, you’ll never make it big in the mime
biz.” /(Frank Osen, Pasadena, Calif)/

*2.* /Winner of the odd little book “Off the Wall: Fashion From East
Germany, 1964 to 1980”: /
/AIUKQSW:/ *Quawk: *Any Scrabble “word” that will score you a whole
bunch of points if you can get everyone to believe your BS definition.
Really, that's what it is! /(Danielle Nowlin, Woodbridge, Va.)/

*3. * /AAOYBLP:/ *Playboa:* A magazine with an eight-page-long
centerfold./(Neal Starkman, Seattle) /

*4. * /AALTSMP:/ * PTA-slam:* A contest featuring Yo’ Principal jokes.
/ (Jeff Hazle, Woodbridge, Va.)/

*Triple nerd scores: honorable mentions*

*AAELRBR*
*Barbale:* What a Southern farmer uses for weight training. /(Frank
Barker, Towson, Md., a First Offender) /

●*Arrable:* Able to speak fluent pirate./(Doug Hamilton, College Park,
Md.) /

*(R-LaBrea):* Identifies reactionary old fossil in the California
legislature /(Elden Carnahan, Laurel, Md.)/

*Barreal:* Perfectly plausible as long as you’re drunk. “Wow, that Nobel
Prize-winning undercover-agent billionaire rock star last night was just
barreal.” /(Michael Jacobs, Columbia, Md., a First Offender) /

*AALTSMP*
*ATM-slap:* A gesture on the sidewalk made by someone suddenly
forgetting his PIN. /(Frank Osen)/

*Splat Ma:* Sequel to “Throw Momma From the Train.”/(Roy Ashley,
Washington) /

*Patlas:* A reference manual given to college freshmen in the mandatory
“Good Touch, Bad Touch” seminar. /(James Pierce, Charlottesville, Va.) /

*Slampat: *The urge that results when your brilliant Invitational entry
is in missing from the paper./(Michael Kilby, Wildau, Germany) /

*AEUUTRB*
*Ur-beaut:* A primal knockout, like Wilma Flintstone. /(Jeff
Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.) /

*U-beaut:* Synonym for the Aussie “bonzer,” not to be confused with
“beaut ute,” which compliments a truck./(Brad Alexander, Wanneroo,
Australia)/

*AIIUDQL*
*Liquiad:* Little-known epic by Homer that evolved into “99 Bottles of
Beer on the Wall.” (Dixon Wragg. Santa Rosa, Calif.)

*Luqidai:* The Iraqi lottery. /(Steve Dantzler, Gaithersburg, Md.)/

*Liquad:* Fraternity Row. /(Christopher Lamora, Guatemala City)/

*AOCBLGM*
*Macglob:* The lump of “special sauce” that inevitably falls from the
bun to your shirt. /(Laura Clairmont, Ashburn, Va., who last got Invite
ink in 1994)/

*Blogcam:* Device for capturing images of unemployed people in pajamas.
/(John Glenn, Tyler, Tex.) /

*Clogbam:* It would be a great name for a laxative. /(Dixon Wragg)/

*AOLDPRL
* *LardPol:* A legislator who engages in adding pork to government
programs. (And you thought I was going to make fun of Gov. Christie, and
I was, but then he went and had that surgery and ruined everything.)
/(Dave Zarrow, Reston, Va.)/

*Prod-all:* Medical tool doctors use to embarrass either sex. /(Barry
Koch, Catlett, Va.)/

*LOL-par:* The expected number of “likes” for a post on Facebook. “Huh,
my dancing-otter GIF barely made LOL-par.”/(Rob Wolf, Gaithersburg, Md.) /

*Laplord:* Dog. /(Danielle Nowlin)/

*AOLBWMN*
*Manbowl:* A commode in which the seat automatically adjusts itself to
the upright position. /(Robert Schechter, Dix Hills, N.Y.)/

*B-L-Woman:* A favorite triple-decker sandwich at the Cannibal Cafe.
/(Elden Carnahan)/

*Womban:* Word to replace “woman” in GOP health-care legislation/(Ann
Martin, Bracknell, England)/

*IOEWDRG
* *Wordgie:* A Scrabble play so devastating that it makes your opponent
squirm in his seat. /(Larry Gray, Union Bridge, Md.)/

*Godwire:* The red emergency phone on the pope’s desk. /(Robert Schechter)/

*GrowDie:* Is that all there is? /(Dave Zarrow)/

*AUYMSPG*
*Pygma:* A tiny but formidable family matriarch. /(Danielle Nowlin)/

*Guymap:* “Yeah, I’m pretty sure I know where it is.” /(Danielle Nowlin)/

*Yumgasp:* Last breath before food coma sets in. With a yumgasp, Nick
collapsed on the couch to watch Thanksgiving Day football./(Mike Gips,
Bethesda, Md.)/

*MuyGaps:* What they call our border fence. /(Dave Zarrow)/

*OOINKLM
* *Moolink:* Diner slang for beef sausage: “Gimme Adam and Eve on a
raft, two blowout patches, moolink on the side!” /(Dan O’Day,
Alexandria, Va.)/

*Kilomon:* The person who supplies the Jamaican Gold. /(John Shea,
Philadelphia)/

*Minkloo:* Liberace’s toilet seat cover. /(Dave Zarrow; Daniela Ganelin,
Rockville, Md., a First Offender)/

*Kinloom:* The period right before the holidays. /(Joy Sibley, Fairfax,
Va., a First Offender)/

*EEUXTPM*
*Exmute:* A mime after you drop a brick on his foot. (/Jeff Hazle)/

*Meetpux:* What you hope your teeth won’t do during a hockey game./(Nan
Reiner, Alexandria, Va.)/

*Exputem:* I’m not sure what it is, but it’s stuck to the bottom of your
shoe. (/Dixon Wragg)/

*EIUMLNM*
*Mumline:* Point in an argument with a spouse when you stop talking, if
you know what’s good for you. /(Jeff Brechlin, Eagan, Minn.)/

*Lum-mine: *A famed source of exquisite nuggets of wit and rare gems of
extraordinary cleverness. /(Ray Lum, Arlington, Va.)/

*More ScrabbleGrams neologisms in two weeks: in the print paper on June
23, online June 20. (The results of the haiku-to-Mars contest, Week
1023, will run a week later.)*

/See the Empress’s online column The Style Conversational
(posted late Thursday
afternoon), in which she discusses today’s new contest and results along
with news about the Loser Community — and you can vote for your favorite
among the inking entries, since you no doubt figured the Empress chose
the wrong winner. If you’d like an e-mail notification each week when
the Invitational and Conversational are posted online, write to the
Empress at losers@washpost.com (note that in
the subject line) and she’ll add you to the mailing list. And on
Facebook, join the far more lively group Style Invitational Devotees
and chime in. /

*Next week’s results: What’s the Diff?,* or *Sim-Hilarities, * our Week
1022 contest, a perennial in which we
supplied a list of 16 random items and asked you to tell us how any two
were alike or different.

© The Washington Post Company