Week 867: Back in the saddle


Right on Derby Day, as we bring you the results of our 16th annual foal names contest, it's also time to milk another contest from it for our seventh annual "grandfoals" challenge.

Given that we don't have as much space on this page for entries as we used to, we're going to expand the field a bit, as suggested by Horse Name Obsessive Russell Beland, who suggested the grandfoals contest to begin with.

This week: "Breed" any two of the "foals" in today's results -- OR one foal with one of the actual horses used in today's entries (either in this column or in the Web-only supplement; this gives you more than 100 names to work with) -- and name the "grandfoal." Once again, the name cannot exceed 18 characters, including spaces, and your entry shouldn't come close to duplicating any of today's results. Once again, we're limiting your personal field to 25 entries. And they will not be single-spaced unless you want the Empress to give up on them.

Winner gets the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place gets a large yellow terry-cloth bath duck-motif mat that (we think unintentionally) looks like either a squashed bath toy or a baby bird rolled on by a tractor. Donated by the ducky Denise Sudell of Washington as the non-Loser price of admission to the Losers' holiday party.

Other runners-up win their choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt or yearned-for Loser Mug. Honorable Mentions get one of the lusted-after Style Invitational Loser Magnets. First Offenders get a smelly, tree-shaped air "freshener" (Fir Stink for their First Ink). One prize per entrant per week. Send your entries by e-mail to losers@washpost.com or by fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, May 10. Put "Week 867" in the subject line of your e-mail, or it risks being ignored as spam. Include your name, postal address and phone number with your entry. Contests are judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post. Entries may be edited for taste or content. Results to be published May 29. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified. The revised title for next week's results is by Kevin Dopart; this week's honorable-mentions subheads are by Christopher Lamora (below) and John O'Byrne (the Web supplement).

Report from Week 863: Our perennially popular contest to "breed" any two names on a list of 100 thoroughbreds eligible for this year's Triple Crown races and to name the "foal" (even though virtually all the horses are male).

Upon reading the almost 3,000 entries to this contest from 349 people -- good thing we put in that limit of 25 entries per person -- the Empress realized with a certain dismay that only 2,700 or so were not very clever, funny or distinctive. So to give the Losers their virtual due, and to amuse the readers who'd like to puzzle out even more of these names, she has posted a supplement of more honorable mentions.

The winner of the Inker

Worth a Buck x Switch = Susan Be Anthony (Pam Sweeney, St. Paul, Minn.)

2. the winner of the itty-bitty Stonehenge model:

Preamble x Kollege = Us the People (Mark Hagenau, Derry, N.H.)

3.Shrimp Dancer x Crisp = Fried Astaire (Cy Gardner, Arlington)

4. D' Funnybone x Lethal Combination = MansLaughter (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn)

The Losers' Circle: Honorable Mentions

Alcindor x Switch = Kareem of the Crop (Jan Brandstetter, Mechanicsville, Md.)

Wow Wow Wow x Prizefighting = Ow Ow Ow (Kathy Hardis Fraeman, Olney)

First Dude x Stay Put = Impalin (Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park)

Nextdoorneighbor x Biloxi = Near Miss. (Kevin Dopart, Washington)

Beethoven x Lethal Combination = OD to Joy (Steve Price, New York)

Call Shot x Odysseus = Trojan HORSE (*John Winant, Arlington)

Chief Counsel x Super Saver = Clearance Darrow (Cy Gardner)

Chief Counsel x Excessive Passion = Law and Ardor (Lois Douthitt, Arlington)

Dublin x Liquidity Event = You're A-Peein' (*Trevor Kerr, Chesapeake, Va.)

Colonel Mustard x Liquidity Event = Dijon the Baptist (Kurt Stahl, Frederick)

Enclosure x Overcommunication = Pen & Teller (Ellen Hill, Rockville)

Endorsement x Enclosure = Okay Corral (Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.; Russell Thompson, Cary, N.C.)

Excessive Passion x Close to the Edge = Lust Horizon (Christopher Lamora, Arlington)

Fenway Faithful x Ice Box = Ted's Head (Mike Hammer, Arlington; Ellen Raphaeli, Falls Church)

First Dude x Switch = The Twig Lebowski (*Sharon Disque, Frederick)

Backtalk x Deep Darkness = Lip Styx (Steve Shapiro, Alexandria)

Make Music for Me x She Be Wild = My Feral Lady (Susan Thompson, Cary, N.C.)

Tiny Woods x Make Music for Me = Copse on the Beat (Malcolm Fleschner, Palo Alto, Calif.)

Tiny Woods x Scuba Diver = Tiger in Your Tank (Mark Eckenwiler, Washington)

Johore x Worth a Buck = Jo Mama (M.C. Dornan, Scottsdale, Ariz.)

Odysseus x Liquidity Event = Penelope Pitstop (Andrew Hoenig, Rockville)

Overcommunication x Marching Tune = 2Much in Formation (David Smith, Santa Cruz, Calif.)

Preamble x Walking the Beach = Constitutional (*Christopher Jones, Vienna)

Call Shot x Odysseus = The Babe's Homer (Roy Ashley, Washington)

Privilaged x Kollege = Misspelt Youth (John Murphy, Herndon)

Prizefighting x Chief Counsel = Boxers and Briefs (Kathy Hardis Fraeman)

Prizefighting x Raging Wit = Joke LaMotta (Larry Yungk, Arlington; Kathy Hardis Fraeman)

Radiohead x Nacho Friend = Marconi and Cheese (Russell Beland, Fairfax)

Saw Perfection x Canthavehim = She Settled for Me (Craig Dykstra, Centreville)

Silenced x Black Snowflake = Unspeakable Filth (Tom Kreitzberg, Silver Spring)

Stay Put x Beethoven = Don't Roll Over (Laurie Brink, Cleveland, Mo.)

Noah's Dream x She Be Wild = Land Ho (*Jennifer Birsa, Glenwood, Md.)

Spangled Star x Ashore = Francis Scott Quay (Rick Haynes, Potomac)

Twirling Candy x Nacho Friend = La Dolce Velveeta (Jay Shuck, Minneapolis)

*A First Offender

Next week: Oonerspisms, or Switchcraft

Coming up on the outside: More honorable-mention foal names from Style Invitational Week 863

Saturday, May 1, 2010;

As clever as each of these combinations of "parents" is in itself, it's especially fun to see how a single horse name can be "bred" to a series of others to produce a set of variations on a theme. So take a look at the Empress's comments on the results of Week 863 in the online discussion group The Style Conversational, and you can see a six puns on "We the People," a half-dozen on "Ode to Joy," and even a string of entries that all happened to feature the word "copse." -- The E

Note: Both the real horse names and the "foal" names -- but not two real names -- may be combined for the Week 867 contest.

Alcindor x Backtalk = Lew's Lips (Peter Ostrander, Rockville)

Aspire x Fenway Faithful = Hope Diamond (Mae Scanlan, Washington)

Backtalk x Wow Wow Wow = woW woW woW (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn; Trevor Kerr, Chesapeake, Va., a First Offender)

Blind Luck x Saw Perfection = Braille Centerfold (Craig Dykstra, Centreville)

Down With Dixie x Interactif = Soixante-Neuf (Harvey Smith, McLean)

Beethoven x Chief Counsel = Take the Fifth (John Winant, Arlington; Beryl Benderly, Washington)

Beethoven x A Little Warm = Moonlight Arsonata (Mark Hagenau, Derry, N.H.)

Beethoven x Get a Grip = Ode to Joystick (Paul Kocak, Syracuse, N.Y.)

Biloxi x Boisterous = MississippiBurping (Dave Zarrow, Reston)

Bravo Whiskey x Thousand Excuses = Jack Denials (Larry Yungk, Arlington)

Bulls and Bears x Black Snowflake = Second Sooty (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village)

Catch Twenty Two x Marching Tune = Conundrumming (Jeremy Levin, Washington, a First Offender)

Colonel Mustard x Liquidity Event = In de John (David McCreedy, Alexandria)

Dryfly x Down With Dixie = YKKK (Stephen Dudzik, Olney)

Dublin x In the Paint = Eire Jordan (Bernard Brink, Cleveland, Mo.)

Endorse x Overcommunication = Ad Infinitum (Barbara Turner, Takoma Park)

Excessive Passion x Endorsement = Zeal of Approval (Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.)

Get a Grip x Pleasant Prince = SqueezeTheCharming (Bryan Crain, Modesto, Calif.; Christopher Lamora, Arlington)

Homeboykris x Switch = Jorgensen (Mark Eckenwiler, Washington)

Homeboykris x Leaving New York = Giuliani's Dream (Dion Black, Washington)

Ice Box x Stay Put = Iglue (Kurt Stahl, Frederick)

Ice Box x Pleasant Prince = Frigid Heir (Susan Thompson, Cary, N.C.; May Jampathom, Oakhusrt, N.J.; Judy Blanchard, Novi, Mich)

Ice Box x Tiny Woods = Shiver Me Timbers (Laura Bennett Peterson, Washington)

Make Music for Me x Overcommunication = Lady BlahBlah (Judy Blanchard)

Marching Tune x Bravo Whiskey = John Philip Souse (Steve Price, New York; J.B. Richardson, Falls Church; Mike Gips, Bethesda)

Mr. Saturdaynight x Liquidity Event = Milton Boil (Steve Price)

Odysseus x Excessive Passion = Broke the Trojans (Mark Eckenwiler)

Overcommunication x Prizefighting = Chatterbox (Elizabeth Wesman, Hendersonville, N.C., a First Offender)

Overcommunication x Stay Put = Biden Time (Larry Yungk)

Prizefighting x Biloxi = Hit and Miss. (Kathy Hardis Fraeman, Olney)

Psychic Income x Extraextraordinary = Medium Rare (Christopher Lamora)

Radiohead x Drive Home = OK Commuter (Malcolm Fleschner; Kurt Stahl; Trevor Kerr)

Scuba Diver x Ice Box = Lloyd Fridges (Russell Beland, Fairfax)

She Be Wild x Nacho Friend = Wenchilada (Mae Scanlan)

Shrimp Dancer x Down With Dixie = Pee-wee Sherman (Kevin Dopart, Washington)

Super Saver x Bulls and Bears = Outlet Maul (Kurt Stahl)

Super Saver x Nacho Friend = Good Buy, Mr Chips (Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park; Kathy Hardis Fraeman)

Utopian x Excessive Passion = Paradise Lust (Chris Doyle)

Walkin' the Beach x Crisp = SPF-ffffft! (Lois Douthitt, Arlington)