Week 845: Reologisms


academicrobe
adiposeur
advocaterwauling
Amiss Manners
anomalyrics
antipatherapy
apparelic
assenger
atrocityscape
attacky
banalogy
baraccelerate
barduous
bellicosesquipedalian
bigotcha
blabyrinth
blunderstanding
bolonium
borotund
botherhood
cadillackluster
cerealistic
chopstuck
computrefy
contestosterone
cowardrobe
crapture
C-SPANdex
dobermanager
dumpire
dystopiary
fatherbrained
frostitute
magnetude
malacrop
metrick
Möbius trip
Muddle age
Mundame
Oliver Twits
Optimale
Orbituary
Overbeering
Phoneupsmanship
Pillsbury Coughboy
Pimposity
prigmatic
Scar de la Renta
Theorethical
Threaty


In the several neologism contests we've had in the past few months, we've added to the Loserly Lexicon literally hundreds of new words and their definitions. But amid the thousands of entries that didn't see ink, there were a lot of good ideas for words that came with, well, less-than-great definitions.

On this page is a list of 50 genuine Loser-created neologisms. This week: Write a description for any of them. It might include an example, or its use in a sentence. Because you're not also coming up with the word itself, the best-written definitions will win out over what are likely to be many similar ideas.

Winner gets the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives -- just too late for Christmas, in the Invite holiday tradition -- two pretty star-shaped ornaments that look like papier-mâché but are in fact éléphant-dung-mâché, donated by Loser in Remission Randy Lee.

Other runners-up win their choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt or yearned-for Loser Mug. Honorable Mentions get one of the lusted-after Style Invitational Loser Magnets. First Offenders get a smelly tree-shaped air "freshener" (Fir Stink for their First Ink). One prize per entrant per week. Send your entries by e-mail to losers@washpost.com or by fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, Dec. 7. Put "Week 845" in the subject line of your e-mail, or it risks being ignored as spam. Include your name, postal address and phone number with your entry. Contests are judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post. Entries may be edited for taste or content. Results will be published Dec. 26. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified. The revised title for next week's results is by Kevin Dopart. This week's honorable-mentions subhead is by Chris Doyle.

Report from Week 841, in which we asked you to alter slightly the name of a food or dish and describe the result.

Those who tend to find the Invite a bit too abstruse and highbrow get a break this week.

A lot of the names submitted (often by many people) were funny in a juvenile way but gained nothing from their descriptions. That menu includes such specials as Yucky Charms, Drool Whip, Slime-Jims, Shredded What, Shrimp Skimpy, Bad Thai, Bananas Fester, flunk steak, meat loathe, buffalo wangs and fatzo ball soup. For this they went to graduate school, a lot of these people.

The winner of the Inker

Jumbo lump carb cakes: Also known as doughnuts. (Dave Zarrow, Reston)

2. the winner of "The Pop-Up Book of Celebrity Meltdowns":

Reader's Digest Condensed Milk: When you're yearning for something white and treacly. (Larry Yungk, Arlington)

3. Cheaties: Breakfast of Champions With Asterisks. (Mark Richardson, Washington)

4. Steak Tata: Raw ground udders. (Tom Murphy, Bowie)

Fare Too Middling: Honorable Mentions

Notdog: Gourmet North Korean sausage. (Kevin Dopart, Washington; Peter Jenkins, Bethesda)

Seven-Lawyer Dip: Chips sold separately. Not intended for intravenous use. Void where prohibited by law. Provided "as is" without any warranty of any kind, expressed or implied . . . (Pam Sweeney, St. Paul, Minn.)

Pol Pot Pie: A low-cal Cambodian dish. Serves hundreds. (Rick Haynes, Potomac)

Chucky Charms: The cereal that's magically malicious! (Judy Blanchard, Novi, Mich.)

Offalafel: A paste of chickpeas and pancreases. (Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.)

Bunt cake: Made from a light, soft batter. (Kevin Dopart)

Chick in de Van: KFC to go. (Judy Blanchard)

Sole food: Cobbler. (Ron Nessen, Bethesda)

Bean crud: Tofu under a more honest name. (John Shea, Lansdowne, Pa.)

Pecking Duck: Poultry that's perhaps a little undercooked . . . (Sneha Kannan, Cambridge, Mass.)

Moo Goo Bed Pan: The orderlies switched the trays again! (Larry Meyer, Washington, Va., a First Offender)

Egg Phew Young: A summer dish traditionally made from Easter eggs discovered months later. (Kerry Humphrey, Woodbridge)

Wussabi: Really mild horseradish paste. (May Jampathom, Oakhurst, N.J.)

Shiksabob: Pork, shrimp and cheese on a skewer. (Judy Blanchard)

Margarrhea: Tequila mixed with Triple Sec and prune juice. (Dion Black, Washington)

Prime Ribbon: The diet roast beef platter. (Carolyn Eskew, Leesburg, a First Offender)

Spleenda: No-cal giblet substitute. (Judy Blanchard)

Coquilles Saint Joan: Flambeed scallops. (Jane Pacelli, Annandale)

Stir-fly: A popular meal in North Korea. (Rick Haynes)

Dulce de Lecher: Hooters' new dessert item. (Ed Gordon, Georgetown, Tex.)

Belgian Awfuls: A phlegmish dish, similar to Crappes Suzettes. (Michael Fransella, Arlington)

Half-Baked Alaska: A crusty, sweet, insubstantial traditional dish that removes itself prematurely from intense heat. (Mike Gips, Bethesda)

Porn Flakes: With a surprise in every box. (Jeff Seigle, Vienna)

Mike Like'n Ike: That famous fruity flavor is coming out in new rainbow colors (not available in all states). (Craig Dykstra, Centreville)

Fellini Alfredo: Pasta with dream sauce. (Rick Haynes)

Faux gras: Spam. (Patrick Mattimore, Gex, France)

Hostess Hos: A guilty pleasure. (Craig Dykstra)

Kid Knee Pie: One of Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite desserts. (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village)

Prize Nobel Peas: Grown in the White House garden. You can pick them even before they're ripe. (Dan Ward, Springfield, a First Offender)

Lemon harangue pie: "You didn't beat the egg whites long enough, and the oven's too hot, and you're slopping the filling out the sides . . ." (Lois Douthitt, Arlington)

Limbaugher cheese: So vile you just listen to a wedge of it and gag. (G. Smith, New York)

Honeycrips: Apples the whole gang will enjoy. (Peter Metrinko, Gainesville)

Next Week: Ask Backwards, or Inkquisition