Week 842: Ask backwards


-- Only with the public option

-- Bo Obama's chew toy

-- A Hefty drawstring balloon

-- William Shakespeare's Flying Circus

-- What an unfortunate URL!

-- A rectangle and its father

-- The Beltsville Kazoo and Drum Corps

-- Not even at Wal-Mart

-- A bad color name for GM's electric car

-- 349 Facebook friends

-- Squeeze relish

-- The new Loser T-shirt and two magnets

We Trebeckon you yet again: Here are your 12 possible answers. Tell your joke in the form of a question, please.

Winner gets the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place gets a vintage large plastic cow that wears clothes and, of course, noisily performs the Mexican Hat Dance. Donated by Cheryl Davis, an amazing font of prize-perfect kitsch. Because You Can Find Everything on the Internet, there is actual video of a cow just like this one doing this dance. (you can find it on the online version of this column at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational). We expect thousands of Losers to beg us not to find their entries the best, but to like them only, exactly, second best.

Other runners-up win their choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt or yearned-for Loser Mug. Honorable Mentions get one of the lusted-after Style Invitational Magnets. One prize per entrant per week. Send your entries by e-mail to losers@washpost.com or by fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, Nov. 16. Put "Week 842" in the subject line of your e-mail, or it risks being ignored as spam. Include your name, postal address and phone number with your entry. Contests are judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post. Entries may be edited for taste or content. Results will be published Dec. 5. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified. The revised title for next week's results is by Larry Yungk; this week's honorable-mentions name is by Pete Morelewicz.

Report From Week 838, in which we sought captions for these drawings by Nonstop Art Generator Bob Staake.

Because we just don't like making things easy for you, we didn't put any identifying letters on them at the time (they're there now, yes, we see that, thank you). We liked how so many Washingtonians matter-of-factly described the man in Cartoon E as "tourist." Everyone, of course, called Cartoon C the "rock station," and many Losers identified the man in Cartoon D as the head chef.

The Winner of the Inker

Cartoon B: When pantyhose decide to run on their own. (Andrew Hoenig, Rockville)

2. the winner of the bag of fake hair: Cartoon E: "Dress Like an American" Day is now an official French holiday. (Elwood Fitzner, Valley City, N.D.)

3. Cartoon A: Grzxoplgg still didn't get the rule: If it's shxkraszt, flush it fast. (Dave Zarrow, Reston)

4. Cartoon E: Distracted by his odd sartorial style and footwear, security completely missed the stick of dynamite in the terrorist's left hand. (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn)

Retch-a-Sketch: Honorable Mentions

Cartoon A:

Eventually, young monsters will accept that there aren't any toddlers hiding in the toilet. (Jay Shuck, Minneapolis)

It was time, Mommy decided, to answer Benny's questions about where he came from. (Jim Noble, Lexington Park)

Gwendolyn was more upset by the lid being left up than she was at having had her blouse eaten. (Craig Dykstra, Centreville)

The Warner Bros. summer intern had hoped for a more glamorous experience than accommodating the extras from "Where the Wild Things Are." (Elise Jacobs, Silver Spring)

Cartoon B:

This is why they don't let porn stars leave prints on Hollywood Boulevard. (Barbara Turner, Takoma Park)

Trying her best to emulate Marilyn Monroe's billowing skirt, the D.C. resident forgot that while the New York subway blows, Metrorail sucks. (Peter Metrinko, Gainesville)

A very small audience saw Twyla's interpretive dance about urban sprawl. (Larry Yungk, Arlington)

Cartoon C:

Since the Predator attacks started, al-Qaeda karaoke nights have been thinly attended. (Elwood Fitzner, Valley City, N.D.)

In reaction to Iranian missile advances, Israel unleashed its new Matzah Radar. (Russell Beland, Fairfax)

While no life was ultimately found on Mars, they did find lots of conveniently placed electrical outlets. (Russ Taylor, Vienna)

No one will steal your satellite radio system when it's cleverly disguised as just another stone in your garden! (Russell Beland)

Cartoon D:

The new cook misunderstood the word "scullery." (Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.)

Alas, poor Yorick shoulda paid up. (T. Soprano, New Jersey) (George Vary, Bethesda)

Pizza Hut's new Halloween-themed "Sculzone" wasn't as popular as they'd hoped. (Erik Wennstrom, Bloomington, Ind.)

Cartoon E:

"You can't miss me -- I'll be the one with the cellphone." (Judy Blanchard, Novi, Mich.)

Bob never lived down the fashion faux pas of wearing a fedora with casual clothes. (Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station)

Orly Taitz's crack Hawaiian birth certificate investigator, hot on the case. (Pam Sweeney, St. Paul, Minn.)

No scientific study has conclusively shown a link between cellphone use and brain damage . . . (Drew Bennett, West Plains, Mo.)

Cartoon F:

George W. Bush spoke only once to the National Galoshes Association. (Elwood Fitzner)

The congressman was finally forced to eat his words, but in the interest of national security they were redacted. (Carl Gerber, Annandale)

The trunks on some of these new compact cars aren't big enough to carry a spare. (Mel Loftus, Holmen, Wis.)

Fed up with humanity, the "2001" monolith destroys the world, starting with campaign speeches. (Ned Bent, Oak Hill)

Cartoon G:

Cathy isn't sure what's more upsetting: to discover a box of nude photos of her, or to discover nobody wants them. (Bird Waring, Larchmont, N.Y.)

"They may be free, but they're still maggots." (Mae Scanlan, Washington)

Angela was uncertain about bringing home another tchotchke, but the Nobel Peace Prize did have a pretty ribbon. (Jeff Hazle, Woodbridge; Sneha Kannan, Cambridge, Mass., a First Offender; Alexander Ring, New York, a First Offender)

Next Week: Overlap Dance, or Lexiconsolidation