Week 763: Another Time Around the Track
Some might call it beating a dead horse, but judging from the enormous
response to Week 759, as well as to the same contest the previous two
years, we think there's more life in the old nag yet. This week:
"Breed" any two of the winning "offspring" included in this week's
results, and name THEIR foal. Though we regret not limiting the number
of entries four weeks ago, we won't limit them this week either, because
it's a harder game: Not only are there fewer names to work with, but
many of the names already contain puns, and your wordplay should be
significantly different from the original. As always, the names must
contain no more than 18 characters, including spaces.
The winner receives the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy.
Second place gets a 1997 Kentucky Derby souvenir T-shirt AND (gee, we
are just too generous) three souvenir glasses from the Preakness, all
donated by Tom Boyle of Laurel.
Other runners-up win their choice of a coveted Style Invitational
Loser T-shirt or yearned-for Loser Mug. Honorable Mentions get one of
the lusted-after Style Invitational Magnets. One prize per entrant per
week. Send your entries by e-mail to losers@washpost.com
or by fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is
Monday, May 12. Put "Week 763" in the subject line of your e-mail, or it
risks being ignored as spam. Include your name, postal address and phone
number with your entry. Contests are judged on the basis of humor and
originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post.
Entries may be edited for taste or content. Results will be published
May 31. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington
Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes.
Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified. The revised title for next
week's results is by Chris Doyle. This week's Honorable Mentions name is
by Tom Witte, who is lucky we found it buried in a list he sent of 209
revised-title and honorable-mention ideas, most of them clinically lame.
The idea for the Week 761 contest, playing off dictionary headings
(entries accepted through Monday night), was by Dave Prevar.
REPORT FROM WEEK 759, in which readers "bred" any two of the 100 horses on a list of Triple
Crown eligibles (all of them male, as it happened) and named the foal.
There were hundreds of excellent entries this week (including that one
you sent in but we didn't run), but believe us, you wouldn't want to
read them all at once. Even more Losers than usual went for scatological
entries, which fortunately tended to cancel one another out; names sent
by four or more people go straight to the manure pile. Combinations like
Hot Chili + Fierce Wind brought lots of gas jokes, and let's not discuss
Big Brown. Note: If you sent one of the entries below but didn't get
credit: Well, playing the horses is always a gamble. We tried.
4. Massive Drama + Visionaire = The Foresight Saga (Jonathan Paul,
Garrett Park)
3. Polonius + Total Bull = Hamburger Hamlet (Charlie Cordova, Reston)
2. The winner of the souvenir Kentucky Derby glass (empty):
Big Truck + Pillar of Salt = Mover and Shaker (Bryan Crain, Modesto,
Calif.)
Pyro + Mapmaker = Your Heatin' Chart ( Cy Gardner , Arlington)
Aaron's Rod + Blackberry Road = Handheld (Harvey Smith, McLean)
Access Code + Casual Conquest = PIN the Tail (Mark Eckenwiler, Washington)
Arizona + In Orbit = AZ the World Turns (Joe and Amy Neff, Warrington, Pa.)
Arizona + Old Ninety Eight = Oh, He's Only 71 (Sanford Horn, Alexandria)
Arizona + Sacred Icon = Torah!Torah!Torah! (Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.)
Big Brown + Blackberry Road = Thumbs UPS ( Kevin Dopart , Washington)
Big Truck + Arizona = Good Yuma Man (Chris Doyle)
Blackberry Road + Hot Chili = Text Mex ( Stephen Dudzik , Olney)
Bonanza + Behind at the Bar = Ponderosé (Bruce W. Alter, Fairfax Station)
Bonanza + Behind at the Bar = Hoss's Ass (Ned Bent, Oak Hill)
Bonanza + Notgivinmyloveaway = Westward Ho ( Pam Sweeney , Germantown)
Booted + Top It = Best in Shoe ( Mae Scanlan , Washington)
Cannonball + Texas Wildcatter = Projectile Varmint (Dudley Thompson,
Cary, N.C.)
Cannonball + Tulips Dandy = Bellyfop (Cy Gardner)
Casual Conquest + Total Bull = I'll Call You ( Russell Beland, Springfield)
Casual Conquest + Vent = Tryst and Shout ( Roy Ashley, Washington)
Clemens + Total Bull = Samuel Longhorn (Michael Martin, Staunton,
Va.; Chris Doyle)
Clemens + Hello From Heaven = Reports of My Death (Michael Peck,
Alexandria; Ira Allen , Bethesda)
Clemens + Attempted Humor = Mock Twain (Mark Eckenwiler)
Clemens + Whistle Stop = MARC Train (Dudley Thompson)
Clemens + Daddy Rabbit = Who Framed Roger (Larry Yungk, Arlington; Kevin Dopart)
Clemens + In Orbit = Roger, Houston (Mike Hammer, Arlington)
Clemens + Pyro = Pants on Fire (Michael Mason, Fairfax)
Clemens + Sacred Icon = Scared Icon (Mike Sikorski, Rockville)
Court Vision + Monogram = Letter of the Law (Russell Beland)
Daddy Rabbit + Revenge Is Sweet = Lucky Human's Foot (Andrew Hoenig, Rockville)
El Gato Malo + Pyro = Tyger Tyger (Laurie Brink, Cleveland, Mo.)
Etched + Storming Off = Cut and Run
(Laura Bennett Peterson, Washington)
Etched + Vacation = Acid Trip (Ed Conti, Raleigh)
Fast Talking + I've Heard It All = Fast Listening (Russell Beland)
Fierce Wind + Big Brown = Hits the Fan (Carol Ostrow, Laurel)
Georgie Boy + He's Sum Charmer = Dim Sum (Kevin Dopart)
Groomedforvictory + Storming Off = Perm und Drang (Laurie Brink)
Hello From Heaven + Luvandgo = Cherubimbo (Mae Scanlan)
Hello From Heaven + Court Vision = Holy See (Kevin Dopart)
Hello From Heaven + I've Heard It All = Yahwehtever (Jonathan Paul)
I've Heard It All + Close to the Vest = Bullshirt (Mae Scanlan)
I've Heard It All + Monogram = BFD (J.D. Berry, Springfield)
In My Footsteps + On the Rocks = Dr. Shoals (Rick Haynes, Potomac)
In Orbit + Hello From Heaven = In Obits
(Pam Sweeney; Sam Laudenslager, Burke)
Mapmaker + Behind at the Bar = Atlas Chugged (Cy Gardner)
Monogram + U S Treasury = $0$ (Larry Yungk)
Mask and Wig + Luvandgo = The Scarlet Pimp (Barbara Turner, Takoma Park)
Massive Drama + Fierce Wind = Artsy Fartsy (David Komornik, Danville, Va.)
Mr. Harry + Daddy Rabbit = Bugs Stops Here (Mike Jackson, Annandale)
Mr. Harry + Excess Capital = Potter's Weal (Barry Koch, Catlett, Va.)
Notgivinmyloveaway + Stratospheric = Virgin Airways (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village)
Pillar of Salt + Full Charge = Salt and Battery (Bernard Brink, Cleveland, Mo.; Harvey Smith; Mike Hammer)
Pyro + Daddy Rabbit = Bun Baby Bun (Mia Wyatt, Ellicott City)
Pyro + Yankee Bravo = Don L'Arson (Mae Scanlan)
Revenge Is Sweet + Orbit = What Goes Around (Lori D. Price, Leesburg)
Sacred Icon + Pillar of Salt = TaberNaCle (Pam Sweeney)
Sacred Icon + Wise Answer = ReplyHazy TryAgain (J. Larry Schott, Gainesville, Fla.)
Sea of Pleasure + I've Heard It All = YachtaYachtaYachta (Chris Doyle)
Signature Move + Total Bull = John Hancrock (Stephen Gilberg, Washington)
Texas Wildcatter + Behind at the Bar = There Will Be Bud (Jan Brandstetter, Mechanicsville; Cy Gardner; Russell Beland)
Tiz Now Tiz Then + Aaron's Rod = Don't Tiz Me Bro (Dudley Thompson)
U S Treasury + Visionaire = I See Debt, People (Chris Doyle)
Vacation + Excess Capital = Buy Your Leave (Ross Elliffe, Picton, New Zealand)
White Shoes + Big Brown = I Hate That Dog (Chris Rollins, Cumberland, Md.)
You Better Believe + I've Heard It All = Talk to the Hand (Mary Jo Sweeney, Crownsville)
You Better Believe + Pyro = Hot Dogma (Tom Witte)
And Last: Attempted Humor + I've Heard It All = 4,065 Entries (The Empress, Washington)
Next Week: Whacksy Buildup, or Google He Eyed