Week 759: What Kind of Foal Am I?


Big Truck + Etched = Mack the Knife

Attempted Humor + Returning = Horse Names AGAIN?

It's time once again to enjoy the world's most popular sport: mating.
And here's the Losers' favorite way to go about it. Below are the names
of 100 of the horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races. Your
job is to "breed" any two -- even though they're all male -- and provide
an appropriate name for their foal. As in real life, the names cannot be
longer than 18 characters, including spaces. There is no limit on the
number of entries you may send per e-mail, but you certainly don't get
extra credit for sending every last combination that pops into your
head: A Derby-caliber entry can sometimes be blocked from view in a
field of verbal nags. If you're writing more than a handful, be sure to
double-space. Results run May 3, the day of the Kentucky Derby.

Winner gets the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. Second
place receives, appropriately, an official commemorative mint julep
glass from the 2005 Derby, donated by Loser Wilson Varga of Alexandria.

Other runners-up win their choice of a coveted Style Invitational
Loser T-shirt or yearned-for Loser Mug. Honorable Mentions get one of
the lusted-after Style Invitational Magnets. One prize per entrant per
week. Send your entries by e-mail to losers@washpost.com
or by fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is
Monday, April 14. Put "Week 759" in the subject line of your e-mail, or
it risks being ignored as spam. Include your name, postal address and
phone number with your entry. Contests are judged on the basis of humor
and originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post.
Entries may be edited for taste or content. No purchase required for
entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives,
are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified.
This week's Honorable Mentions name is by Kevin Dopart.

A.P. Answer

Aaron's Rod

Access Code

Anewday

Arizona

Atoned

Attempted Humor

Behind at the Bar

Big Brown

Big Truck

Blackberry Road

Bonanza

Booted

Cannonball

Cape Time

Casual Conquest

Check It Twice

Chris Got Even

Clemens

Close to the Vest

Coast Guard

Colonel John

Cool Coal Man

Court Vision

Daddy Rabbit

Denis of Cork

El Gato Malo

Elysium Fields

Etched

Excess Capital

Expansion

Fast Talking

Fierce Wind

Full Charge

Georgie Boy

Go Speed Racer

Groomedforvictory

He's Sum Charmer

Hello From Heaven

Hey Byrn

Hot Chili

I've Heard It All

In My Footsteps

In Orbit

Invaluable

Luvandgo

Make the Point

Manchild

Mapmaker

Mask and Wig

Massive Drama

Monogram

Mr. Harry

New Believer

No Jeopardy

Notgivinmyloveaway

Old Ninety Eight

On the Rocks

Pillar of Salt

Polonius

Propensity

Pyro

Really

Referee

Returning

Revenge Is Sweet

Sacred Icon

Saul to Paul

Sea of Pleasure

Signature Move

Smokin Stogies

Square Deal

Standing High

Storming Off

Stratospheric

Swath

Texas Wildcatter

Tiz Now Tiz Then

Tizway

Took the Time

Top It

Total Bull

Tulips Dandy

U S Treasury

Understatement

Unique Tale

Vacation

Vent

Visionaire

War Pass

Whistle Stop

White Shoes

Wicked Style

Wise Answer

Wonder Mon

Yankee Bravo

You Better Believe

Your Round

Z Humor

Zigawatt

REPORT FEOM WEEK 755, in which we sought funny Googlewhacks, phrases that generated one and
only one Google hit (either with or without the use of quotation marks)
during the entry period.

As predicted, this contest proved much more difficult than it was four
years ago, back when the search engine was only unimaginably
comprehensive. Not that it was all that hard this year to find a
Googlewhack -- some people sent dozens. They just didn't pay any mind to
the "funny" requirement ("Guess what -- 'The great [entrant's name]' is
a Googlewhack!"). And many ignored the direction to come up with a
description, or the description was boring. (We've decided, imperiously,
to give ink to a few of these anyway.) Other people just quoted a good
line that someone else said, such as a blog post by one "Commissioner"
on the snarky TheSuperficial.com: "Take your disposable income and go
buy yourself a sense of humor." No credit for that sort of thing.

Over the course of this contest, we discovered that Google can be a
mysterious animal: What was a Googlewhack one day would generate no hits
at all -- or dozens -- the next day, or even the same day. Hence we're
relying for the most part on the honor system.

4. Manicurist marathon: Running with scissors. (Jane Auerbach, Los
Angeles)

3. "Exclusive gated trailer park": A community of upwardly mobile
homes. (Pam Sweeney, Germantown)

2.the winner of the inflatable Chihuahua: Do I dare to eat a $4,300
peach at the Mayflower Hotel?: A recent rumination by T.S. Eliot
Spitzer. (Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.)

"Smells like old peanut butter and belly": The first comment uttered
by the EMT who found Elvis in the bathroom. (Michael Levy, Silver Spring)

"Bespoke birthday suit maker": The tailor for all the emperor's new
clothes. (Pam Sweeney)

"Drunken mites on ice": Another example of why chiggers can't be
boozers. (Kevin Dopart, Washington)

Snot, the critically acclaimed dessert wine of Jukkasjdrvi, Sweden: Pairs perfectly with lutefisk. Serve in a snifter. (Larry Yungk, Arlington)

Depilatorized death wish: Hoping you die without hairs. (Russell Beland, Springfield)

"Frisky nonagenarian stud": The lady-killer who just might end up lady-killed. (Dan Ramish, Vienna)

"Every ding dong word of the Bible is true." (Peter Metrinko, Chantilly)

"Dick Cheney's weight loss diary": 3-6-07: Scooter's convicted. Well, that takes a load off! (Kevin Dopart)

"Loved that traffic jam": A note left to the chef about the Road Kill Preserves. (Rick Haynes, Potomac)

"Balletic logic": Putting tu and tu together. (Chris Doyle)

"Ron Paul would be an excellent leader": A phrase that got exactly one hit fewer than "Ronald McDonald would be an excellent leader." (Elizabeth Kelley, Silver Spring, a First Offender)

"Declared persona non gratin": The fall of the corporate Big Cheese. (Peter Metrinko)

"Read my lips: Taxes will be raised": An utterance that is to Republicans what salt is to snails. (Dan Ramish)

Psilocybin cereal: Breakfast of champignons. (Jane Auerbach)

"Florida rules soccer": Whichever team shows up first may kick a few goals before the opposing team takes the field. The referees then decide later if those goals counted. (Seth Brown, North Adams, Mass.)

Eco-friendly ecdysiasm: Green and bare it! (Chris Doyle)

"Freudian knickers": For those whose slips sometimes slip. (Roger Dalrymple, Gettysburg, Pa.)

"Just ridiculously well-endowed": One of the few phrases equally applicable to Dolly Parton and Harvard University. (Dan Ramish)

Hippocratically kosher: Abiding by the tenet "First do no ham." (Chris Doyle)

"Quadruplet envy": The rare emotion felt by Mr. and Mrs. Dionne. (Paul VerNooy, Hockessin, Del.)

Waterholes of self-aggrandizing nabobs: The small ponds in which big fish are found. (Russell Beland)

"They call him the pork belly princess": What is the Village People's nickname for the "Farmer," the rarely seen seventh member of the group? (Kevin Dopart)

"I love President George Bush and I think he is doing a hell of a job": There's always one. (Scott Susser, Hillside, N.J.)

Geocached kielbasa: Geekspeak for "hide the salami." (Jane Auerbach)

"Klutzy podophilia": Getting off on the wrong foot. (Chris Doyle)

And Last: The popular Empress has a voracious appetite and will eat anything offered from flakes to pellets and frozen food: A description of the fish species Protomelas taeniolatus. (Peter Metrinko)

Next Week: Mess With Our Heads, or Bank Fraud