Week 708: What Kind of Foal Am I?


Forefathers + Dreaming of Anna = DNA Tests
Highest Degree + Seeking Affairs = Really Hot Date

Time for the Invitational that traditionally draws the most entries of
any contest all year: Here is a list of 100 of the horses eligible for
this year's Triple Crown races. Your job is to "breed" any two -- never
mind that almost all of them are male -- and provide an appropriate name
for their foal, as in the examples above by Russell Beland of
Springfield, a Loser so pathetically obsessed with our horse names
contest (one year he submitted 487 entries) that he sent the Empress a
list of possible breedings before he knew which 100 names she had chosen
from this year's list of more than 450 eligible horses. As in real life,
the names cannot be longer than 18 characters, including spaces. There is
no limit on the number of entries you send, but if you're writing more
than a handful, be sure to double-space and don't save your best entries
for the bottom of the page; if the E reads an e-mail whose first 15
entries don't move her, her eyes and mind may start to glaze over by No.
16. Keep in mind that for this contest -- as with all contests for which
it's pretty easy to come up with something -- many people are going to
send in identical entries, thus canceling each other out. So, for
instance, if you're going to combine Private Humor and Golden Balls,
you'd better come up with a truly original name for the foal. Results run
May 6, the same day as the news about the Kentucky Derby.

Winner gets the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. First
runner-up receives an uckily cool prize donated by Loser 4 Ever Russell
Beland: this genuine brand-new bicycle helmet painted to look like a
human brain. So you can fall off your bike and have your brains on the
street without the accompanying medical bills. It is brain size Small.

Other runners-up win a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt.
Honorable Mentions (or whatever they're called that week) get one of the
lusted-after Style Invitational Magnets. One prize per entrant per week.
Send your entries by e-mail to losers@washpost.com or by fax to
202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, April 16. Put "Week 708" in the subject
line of your e-mail, or it risks being ignored as spam. Include your
name, postal address and phone number with your entry. Contests are
judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries become the
property of The Washington Post. Entries may be edited for taste or
content. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington
Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes.
Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified. This week's Honorable Mentions
name is by Mark Eckenwiler.

Report From Week 704, in which we asked for vanity license plates for well-known figures:

4. Thomas Edison: GEN 1:3 (Kevin Dopart, Washington)

3. Michael Richards: SPU N H8 (Dennis Lindsay, Seabrook)

2. Matt Groening: GOT DOH (Ira Goldman, Washington)


(Bob Staake For The Washington Post)

And the Winner of the Inker

Stephen Colbert: REPORCAR (Phyllis Reinhard, East Fallowfield, Pa.)

A Bumper Crop

Hank Aaron: NO * (Kevin Dopart, Washington)

George Allen: MACACAR (Peter Jenkins, Bethesda)

Pamela Anderson: O O (Karl Koerber, Crescent Valley, B.C.; Herb Greene,
Catonsville, Md.)

Mrs. Ben Bernanke: UNDERFED (Mark Eckenwiler, Washington)

Metro General Manager John Catoe:
Front plate: LOOK OUT
Rear plate: OOPS (John Kupiec, Fairfax)

Sacha Baron Cohen: @@@NICE! (Gary Hevel, Silver Spring)

Ann Coulter: FLAGHAG (Jeff Brechlin, Eagan, Minn.)

Marie Curie: UGLOGIRL (Jeff Brechlin)

Kevin Federline: MY15RUP (Larry Yungk, Arlington)

Mark Foley: RU 18 (Dave Prevar, Annapolis)

Robert Frost: Robert Frost: < TRAVELD (Brendan Beary, Great Mills)

Genghis Khan: / N BURN (Beverley Sharp, Washington)

Philip Glass: O O O O (Seth Brown, North Adams, Mass.; Dave Prevar)

Al Gore: I-1 I-1 (Kevin Dopart)

Werner Heisenberg: I DUNNO (Brendan Beary)

Paris Hilton: HEIRHEAD (Karl Koerber)

Katie Holmes: IDONTASK (Roy Ashley, Washington)

Scooter Libby: MADEBYME (Jeff Brechlin, Mark Eckenwiler, Washington)

Rush Limbaugh: BHEMOUTH (Don Kirkpatrick, Waynesboro, Pa.)

Rene Magritte: NOTACAR (Brendan Beary, Great Mills)

Harriet Miers: JUDG NOT (Arlee C. Green, Merrifield)

Edvard Munch: :-O (Jay Shuck, Minneapolis)

Lisa Nowak: PAMPERED (John Flynn, Olney; Brendan Beary)

Dave Oreck: SUXSFUL (Larry Yungk)

Valerie Plame: C*VERT (Ira Goldman)

Ferdinand Porsche: MYOTHER1 (Russell Beland, Springfield)

Karl Rove: BKCTDRVR (Larry Yungk)

Karl Rove: WHO ME? (Marjorie Streeter, Reston)

Donald Rumsfeld: CARIHAV (Russell Beland)

P_TS_J_K (Brendan Beary)

Emmitt Smith: HEGOTGAM (Barry Koch, Catlett, Va.)

Rev. William Spooner: WACKBARD (Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.)

Tom Waits: 4 NO MAN (Brendan Beary)

Ruth Westheimer: , SUTRA (Mark Eckenwiler)

Tony Soprano: UUUALDED (Dave Prevar)

Satan: CUNL (Beverley Sharp)

The Apostle Peter: D9D9D9 (Ellen Raphaeli, Falls Church)

The Coppertone Girl: )) (Jay Shuck, Minneapolis)

Moses: O4AGPS (Kevin Gowen, Stevensville, Md.)

Jesus: > (Kevin Dopart)

Jesus: WWID (Russell Beland)

Next Week: Simile Outrageous, or Parallel Play

Note: The list of words used in "The Cat and the Hat," accompanying last
Sunday's Week 707 contest, omitted the word "say." So in case you'd like
to come with some new entries, we're extending the deadline from tomorrow
to Wednesday.