Week 701: Untitlement


Official Style Invitational Cartoonist Bob Staake is just getting hoitier
and toitier on us. First his artwork gets on the cover of the New Yorker,
and now his "The Red Lemon" has been listed as one of Some Other
Newspaper Book Review's 10 best illustrated children's books of 2006.
Yeah, yeah. But he'll never win an Inker. This week: Here are the covers
for what just might be Bob's next four books. What are they called and
what are they about?

Winner gets the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. First
runner-up gets, courtesy of Ben Aronin of Washington, a CD from
Thepartyparty.com consisting of remixes of politicians' voices in which
they're seeming to sing rock songs, such as President Bush doing "Sunday
Bloody Sunday." It's pretty well done, actually.

Other runners-up win a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt.
Honorable Mentions (or whatever they're called that week) get one of the
lusted-after Style Invitational Magnets. One prize per entrant per week.
Send your entries by e-mail to losers@washpost.com or by fax to
202-334-4312. Deadline is Tuesday, Feb. 20. Put "Week 701" in the subject
line of your e-mail, or it risks being ignored as spam. Include your
name, postal address and phone number with your entry. Contests are
judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries become the
property of The Washington Post. Entries may be edited for taste or
content. Results will be published March 11. No purchase required for
entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives,
are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified.
This week's Honorable Mentions name is by Dave Prevar of Annapolis. The
revised title for next week's contest is by Bruce Alter.

Report From Week 697, our recurring contest in which we asked you to explain how any two of 15
items we listed were alike or different.

Of course, some intrepid Losers
tried all 105 combinations; just about everyone pointed out that the
difference between Shakira's hips and a prescription for Levitra was that
with the hips, you don't need the prescription.

4 The difference between 24 cents plus tax and a teacup Chihuahua: In the
United States, one is just about two bits; in China, the other is just
about two bites. (Beverley Sharp, Washington)

3 The difference between the Washington Nationals and a Cheez Whiz
souffle: If you want runs, go with the souffle. (Ned Bent, Oak Hill)

2 winner of the CD of the Tulsa radio guy being obnoxious: How 24 cents
plus tax is like a Mini Cooper convertible: These will be 50 Cent's new
name and hoopty after the IRS gets done with him. (Kevin Dopart,
Washington)

And the Winner of the Inker

The difference between a prescription for Levitra and a Mini Cooper
convertible: You hope the prescription will keep women from saying, "Ooh,
that little thing is sooo cute." (David Komornik, Danville, Va.)

Indifferences

The difference between a urine sample and a Cheez Whiz souffle: The
souffle contains many unneeded carbs. -- M. Gandhi, Delhi (Elwood
Fitzner, Valley City, N.D.)

How a drunken kangaroo is like a prescription for Levitra: They both will
make a big stir Down Under. (Barry Koch, Catlett, Va.; Kathleen DeBold,
Burtonsville)

A drunken kangaroo and the new speaker of the House: Both make Bush men
nervous. (Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station)

A drunken kangaroo and a urine sample: Each was a runner-up mascot for
the Sydney Olympics. (Kevin Dopart)

A drunken kangaroo should not have hit the bottle. A urine sample should
have. (Thomas J. Murphy, Bowie)

A prescription for Levitra and the new speaker of the House: Both work on
uncooperative members. (Rick Haynes, Potomac)

Each is tasked with pushing through acts of congress successfully. (Ross
Elliffe, Picton, New Zealand)

One works to thwart the Honorable Mr. Boehner . . . (Brendan Beary, Great
Mills)

It's the difference between lay and lie. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

A prescription for Levitra and a Mini Cooper convertible: Trust me,
neither one will get you lucky until you lose those 40 pounds you gained
since the divorce. (Jerry Ewing, Orlando)

A prescription for Levitra and Kim Jong Il's pompadour: One cures
erectile dysfunction; the other IS one. (Arlee C. Green, Newington)

A prescription for Levitra and a Style Invitational Loser Magnet: You get
the magnet for your pee-pee joke; you get the prescription for your joke
of a pee-pee. (Andrea Kelly, Brookville)

The new speaker of the House and a teacup Chihuahua: The speaker has
bigger cojones. (Bob Kopac, Poughkeepsie, N.Y.)

The new speaker of the House and a Mini Cooper convertible: Both are
stylish, petite media darlings, but only one should be experienced
topless. (Michele Puzzanchera, Pittsburgh)

The new speaker of the House and a urine sample: The speaker is Number
Three. (Pam Sweeney, Germantown; Tom Witte, Montgomery Village)

One also has vinegar. (Gordon Arsenoff, Laurel)

The new speaker of the House and the Washington Nationals: Only one will
get regular cable coverage in D.C. (Kevin Dopart)

The Nationals plan to hit-and-run, while the speaker plans to cut and
run. -- G.W.B., Washington (Chris Doyle, from Panaji, India)

The new speaker of the House and Kim Jong Il's pompadour: Each sits atop
an impenetrable mass of peculiar opinions. (Elwood Fitzner)

The new speaker of the House and a Style Invitational Loser Magnet: They
are both lusted after. -- Name Withheld, Plains, Ga. (Howard Walderman,
Columbia)

A teacup Chihuahua and a urine sample: They are both wee specimens. (Mae
Scanlan, Washington)

They are two things that might be found in a celebrity's purse. (Dennis
Lindsay, Seabrook)

Staying the course and the Washington Nationals: Both are associated with
the phrase "errors were made." (Russell Beland, Springfield)

Staying the course and a urine sample: The sample can get you fired from
an important government job. (Ezra Deutsch-Feldman, Chicago)

Staying the course and Shakira's hips: They are both public
demonstrations of morass. (John Bauer, Gaithersburg)

A Mini Cooper convertible and the Washington Nationals: Neither is very
comfortable on a long road trip. (Russell Beland)

A Mini Cooper convertible and 11 pipers piping: Paris Hilton might take
either for a quick spin. (Kevin Dopart)

A urine sample and the Washington Nationals: You can be sure the
Nationals won't be standing between Barry Bonds and the Hall of Fame.
(Elwood Fitzner)

A urine sample and Shakira's hips: It's hard for men to give the first if
they're thinking about the second. (Jeff Brechlin, Eagan, Minn.)

A urine sample and a Style Invitational Loser Magnet: The Washington Post
isn't willing to pay all the postage to mail out urine samples every
week. (Russell Beland)

11 pipers piping and the Washington Nationals: One is 11 guys blowing.
The other is 9 guys sucking. (Art Grinath, Takoma Park; Jon Reiser,
Hilton, N.Y.)

The Washington Nationals and a Style Invitational Loser Magnet: The
magnet is supposed to be a joke. (Kevin Dopart)

Shakira's hips and a Cheez Whiz souffle: The former is the real thing;
the latter is artificial dairy air. (Mark Eckenwiler, Washington)

The Poincaré Conjecture and Shakira's hips: One is all about topology,
while the other is all about bottomology. (Jeffrey Contompasis, Ashburn)

24 cents plus tax and a Style Invitational Loser Magnet: Neither one is
fully appreciated when you give them out to your staff as Christmas
bonuses. Well, I'm just guessing about the 24 cents. (Russell Beland)

Next Week: Let's Get Personnel, or Inhuman Resources